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Ricky Gervais Lays Into Charlie Sheen, ‘The Tourist’ In Opening Monologue

‘It’s going to be a night of heavy drinking, or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast,’ host jokes. By Aly Semigran Ricky Gervais at the 2011 Golden Globe Awards Photo: NBC/ HFPA Earlier this week Ricky Gervais divulged to Conan O’Brien that NBC had supposedly axed an idea he’d had to don a Nazi uniform and joke that it was from Mel Gibson’s closet. Since then, Hollywood has been wondering how much the network was planning to censor the host or how much he was going to censor himself, for that matter. Within the first few moments of the funnyman’s opening monologue it was apparent he had no intention of letting up on the stars, and NBC let the host run wild. After taking his traditional first sip of beer, “The Office” star bashed Charlie Sheen for his now-infamous hotel antics. “It’s going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking,” Gervais began, adding, “Or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast.” After recounting Sheen’s Plaza Hotel antics, Gervais asked the crowd, “What did he do New Year’s Eve?” While Sheen was fair game, Gervais soon went after not only the Hollywood Foreign Press Association but two of the night’s biggest attendees, Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, for their nominated film “The Tourist.” Gervais ripped into the critically panned caper, garnering big groans when he said, “I haven’t even seen The Tourist,’ ” and adding, “Who has?” He then mentioned reports that the HFPA had been bribed to nominate the film by being taken to a Cher concert. The host joked that no one would be game for such a bribe because “it’s not 1975!” Once Depp (who was caught smiling at the barbs on camera) and Jolie were off the hook, Gervais laid into the women of “Sex and the City 2.” After suggesting they should have nominated the special effects team behind the poster, Gervais addressed the cast: “Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you on an episode of ‘Bonanza’!” The cameras caught a glimpse of the gals’ “SATC 2” co-star Chris Noth, who seemed to be taking the jabs in stride. When Gervais moved on to another film that was not nominated this year, “I Love You, Phillip Morris,” he made what was, at that point, his most shocking joke of the night. Noting that Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor were heterosexual actors who played gay characters, he made a swipe at either Tom Cruise or John Travolta when he joked, “So the complete opposite of some Scientologists, then.” After the loud groans settled, Gervais, who said his lawyers had helped him pen the joke, assured the audience, “They’re not here.” He briefly moved on to television and joked that nominee “The Walking Dead” could also be an analogy for Hugh Hefner’s impending nuptials. Gervais warned Hefner’s bride-to-be, Crystal Harris, “Just don’t look at it when you touch it” and mimed to millions of viewers what that scenario would look like. The moment earned the heartiest laughs (including from Halle Berry and Robert De Niro) and Gervais, in a nod to the earlier NBC censoring rumors said, “I warned them.” Gervais closed his monologue by talking about the series finale of “Lost,” offering his own theory that Hurley (Jorge Garcia) “ate them all.” While there were no Nazi costumes to be found, Gervais did manage to get in one Gibson joke, as he suggested the star is “obsessed” with Judaism. And now, on with the show … We’ve got the Golden Globes covered! Stick with MTV News for photos, videos, fashion and up-to-the-minute details from the awards show. Related Videos Golden Globes 2011 Highlights 2011 Golden Globes Red Carpet Interviews Related Photos 2011 Golden Globe Awards Red Carpet

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Ricky Gervais Lays Into Charlie Sheen, ‘The Tourist’ In Opening Monologue

Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Makes Sexy Faces

In case you haven’t noticed already, this Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace isn’t exactly the classiest of broads. Lucky for me that’s just how I like my women. I like a girl who’s not afraid to get drunk in public, let her tits hang out of her top and hopefully has no gag reflex. That’s what it says in my eHarmony profile. Anyhow, here’s the hot mess making trashy sexy faces and letting us all know that she’s pretty much ready to do anything in order to get some sort of fame. Call me. more pictures of Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace here

Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Makes Sexy Faces

In case you haven’t noticed already, this Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace isn’t exactly the classiest of broads. Lucky for me that’s just how I like my women. I like a girl who’s not afraid to get drunk in public, let her tits hang out of her top and hopefully has no gag reflex. That’s what it says in my eHarmony profile. Anyhow, here’s the hot mess making trashy sexy faces and letting us all know that she’s pretty much ready to do anything in order to get some sort of fame. Call me. more pictures of Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace here

Aubrey O’Day Drops Some Crazy Cleavage

I like my women to have a bit of the crazy eyes in them, it keeps me on my toes in the bedroom, but this crap is ridiculous. Here’s Aubrey O’Day giving me a look that makes me kinda wish I hadn’t worn my good boxers this morning, I may or may not have lost control of my bowels when I saw this crazy look. This is what I imagine will be the last thing I see before I die a horrible horrible death. At least her boobs look good.

Michelle McGee on Another Night with Charlie Sheen: Pass!

Little is known about what went on inside Charlie Sheen’s penthouse at The Palms this week. But hilarious reports really do confirm that Michelle “Bombshell” McGee was one of the women that stopped by late into the actor’s drunken Vegas binge. Yes, that Michelle “Bombshell” McGee! Would the tattooed mistress do so again? Would she like to spend another evening with the Two and a Half Men star? She makes it clear in the video below. Michelle McGee on Charlie Sheen

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Michelle McGee on Another Night with Charlie Sheen: Pass!

Lake Bell’s Showing Off Her Big Tits of the Day

I remember Lake Bell being a big deal a while ago for half a minute…now she’s just big tits….which to some of you may make her still a big deal…especially if you have the social skill I expect you have…the kind of weirdnes that involves a lot of alone time with your DVD collection and pictures of your favorite celebs that you’ve cut out of magazines pasted all over your shitty basement apparement with your own semen, because you feel that is the only sticky substance even pictures of the women you love deserve…The whole thing makes me uncomfortable…but here are some more pics for your weirdo collectiong…

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Lake Bell’s Showing Off Her Big Tits of the Day

Justin Bieber on the 50 Most Popular WOMEN on the Web

Justin Bieber on the 50 Most Popular WOMEN on the Web: According to Google, Lady Gaga is the most searched woman in the engine. But wait, why is Justin Bieber on the list? The list 50 Most Popular Women on the Web is based from Google search results. But whoever made this list is not yet certain. Anyway, it looks like everyone wanted to know who’s in and who’s not, so I’ll sum it up and give you the top 10: (for the complete list you can find it HERE) #10- Avril Lavigne #9- Paris Hilton #8- Miley Cyrus #7- Justin Bieber #6- Britney Spears #5- Rihanna #4- Beyonce #3- Madonna #2- Ke$ha #1- Lady GaGa You may have noticed that 16-year-old Canadian singer Justin Bieber is on the list. Seriously, I have no idea why he’s there. There have been speculations about his sexual preference and there are posts circulating the web saying he admitted he’s gay. But if you search for it there are no concrete evidences that he really admitted it. So until now, whether he’s gay or bisexual or straight is still a mystery. Read More: Justin Bieber on the 50 Most Popular WOMEN on the Web

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Justin Bieber on the 50 Most Popular WOMEN on the Web

Phone Records, Paramedics, Michael Jackson Aide Paint Unflattering Picture of Dr. Conrad Murray

Dr. Conrad Murray didn’t exactly rush to call 911 after he found Michael Jackson lifeless, according to paramedics … and the doctor’s phone records. Murray may try to argue Michael Jackson killed himself with a lethal dose of Propofol in a brief window during which the doc went to the bathroom. When he came back, the defense theory goes, Murray called 911 right away. But phone company employees told a different story in court today . The phone company says that in the hours surrounding the revelation that Michael was lifeless in bed, Murray was texting and calling lots of people. Not on his list? 911. Records show Dr. Murray was sending and receiving multiple texts. Two texts were sent by Murray to someone in Texas at 12:03 and 12:04 p.m. It’s unclear if the texts pertained to the women in Murray’s office who went to a storage facility to retrieve boxes, but you have to wonder. The death timeline dispute has permeated for months, with some law enforcement sources believing MJ was injected as early as 10:50 a.m. Murray also sent data at 12:15, 12:18 and 12:53 p.m. on June 25, 2009, when the King of Pop passed away of acute Propofol intoxication. The singer’s personal physician also called a number of people, including his girlfriend, Nicole Alvarez, but the only record shows 1:08 p.m. This is inconsistent with earlier claims that he talked with Alvarez around noon and when he realized MJ was in distress, dropped the phone. Meanwhile, a paramedic testified today that Dr. Conrad Murray denied giving Michael Jackson drugs as the singer lay lifeless in his bedroom. Martin Blount said when he walked into MJ’s room Murray was sweating profusely. Murray told EMTs he waited only one minute to call 911. Another paramedic testified that he believed Murray waited between 20 minutes to an hour to call 911. The call was placed at 12:21 p.m. Then there’s this. Alberto Alvarez (no relation to Nicole), a bodyguard who says he was MJ’s Director of Logistics, said Murray removed bottles from MJ’s room. Along with an IV bag with a milky-white substance, believed to be Propofol, Murray told Alvarez to remove certain bottles before calling 911. Alvarez says he walked into MJ’s bedroom at 12:17 p.m. he saw Michael laying motionless. Murray told him Michael had “an allergic reaction.” He ordered him to collect a bag of bottles and put them in a bag. Alvarez says Murray “instructed me to remove the IV bag from the IV stand.” Alvarez says there was a second IV bag – which contained saline. Murray told him to leave it. He also said that Michael’s kids watched him die . Stay tuned for more as this develops .

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Phone Records, Paramedics, Michael Jackson Aide Paint Unflattering Picture of Dr. Conrad Murray

Favre Accusers: Jets Shut Us Out Before Lawsuit

Filed under: Brett Favre , Celebrity Justice , TMZ Sports Before two masseuses sued Brett Favre for sexual harassment they made a last ditch appeal to the NY Jets to get their jobs back, but were denied … according to an attorney for the women. Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole ‘s lawyer David Jaroslawicz… Read more

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Favre Accusers: Jets Shut Us Out Before Lawsuit

Why Kim Kardashian Posed for Playboy

There’s only one thing Kim Kardashian has done more often than pose nude: talk about posing nude. Through the years, the realty star has blamed her mother for forcing her to bare it all in Playboy in 2007, and also claimed she regrets the shoot because it made her feel uncomfortable . Now, in the February issue of Glamour , Kardashian takes on a different view. She tells the magazine: “It was an independence thing for me. I was always by the book, such the straight arrow when it came to pleasing my parents and being a good daughter. I felt like this was one decision that only I could make. And I think it looks great. I’ll have those pictures forever.” Hmmm… so why did Kim make such a stink when a previously-unreleased photo from her shoot was released ? Below, we’ve included other excerpts from Kim’s interview with the magazine, including her take on her own sexuality: On her success : I’d be foolish not to take some of these opportunities that are coming my way. We all know this can go away at any moment. On her siblings : We work really hard, and we fight like normal sisters fight, and we make up. We’re so supportive of each other. We always stick together. Having lots of siblings is like having built-in best friends. On her status as a sex symbol : It’s definitely powerful. I don’t find myself as sexy as everyone thinks. I’m a lot more insecure than people would assume, but with little stupid things. When I get dressed, I’m always so indecisive. On advice for other women : It’s a process. You have to learn to accept it. You have to learn to like what you see in the mirror. There are definitely times when I don’t feel like myself, but you have to fake it until you make it. On life at 30 : If you had asked me five years ago what I would be doing at 30, I would have said, ‘Married with a kid or two.’ Not in a million years did I dream that I would be doing all the things that I’m doing.

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Why Kim Kardashian Posed for Playboy