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Michael Douglas Battling Tumor

Unfortunate news: Michael Douglas has a tumor in his throat , which will force the 65-year-old actor to undergo eight weeks of radiation and chemotherapy (potentially putting him out of commission during the September 24 release of his next film, Oliver Stone’s Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps ). Doctors expect him to make a full recovery, and Douglas himself issued a statement saying, “I am very optimistic.” [ People ]

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Michael Douglas Battling Tumor

Your Bad Guys Will No Longer Be British

In America, we both admire and fear British actors: On the one hand, we give them all our Oscars, but on the other, we constantly make them play villains. Now, in news that will either make Alan Rickman very happy or cause him to file a panic-stricken unemployment application, Paramount is resolving to cast actors with more indeterminate accents in the studio’s bad guy roles. Tommy Wiseau, now is your moment. [ New Zealand Herald via MCN ]

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Your Bad Guys Will No Longer Be British

Has Danielle Staub Been Fired From Real Housewives of New Jersey?

Just two months after Dina Manzo left The Real Housewives of New Jersey , rumor has it that Bravo programming executive Andy Cohen might be reorganizing his Garden State collection one more time. Have your grain of salt, ripped weaves, and broken heels at the ready as we tell you who might be leaving next.

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Has Danielle Staub Been Fired From Real Housewives of New Jersey?

Big Brother Repulsion Index: The Lost Ballad of Brenchel

With Rachel gone , Brendon launched a suicide mission to avenge his beloved’s eviction from the Big Brother house. This meant winning a knotty challenge, shouting “This is for you, Rach” into his mic every 30 seconds, earning the nickname “canklesaurus rex” from Britney and making idiotic decisions that his lost lover would have approved of. With that in mind, let’s hit last night’s Repulsion Index.

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Big Brother Repulsion Index: The Lost Ballad of Brenchel

TV Bites: JetBlue Guy Steven Slater Gets a Reality TV Offer

Also in this morning’s TV Bites: Jenny Lumet and William Monahan dive into HBO’ s pool of talent… ABC renews Wipeout … and more ahead.

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TV Bites: JetBlue Guy Steven Slater Gets a Reality TV Offer

Return of the Jedi Deleted Scene Like a Breathy Prank Call from Darth Vader

Because your weekend wouldn’t be complete without yet another bit of Star Wars news , there’s this: At Celebration V — an “official Lucasfilm event celebrating all things Star Wars, produced by fans for fans” in Orlando, FL — a deleted scene from Return of the Jedi has surfaced. Have you ever wondered how Luke got that flashy green lightsaber?

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Return of the Jedi Deleted Scene Like a Breathy Prank Call from Darth Vader

True Blood’s Marshall Allman on Alan Ball, His Old Costar Wentworth Miller, and ‘Assin’ Around’ in the Buff

As Tommy, the impoverished younger brother to Sam (Sam Trammell) on True Blood , Marshall Allman plays a shapeshifting character who’s still licking wounds from a family that forced him into dogfighting. Talking to Allman himself, however, is the furthest thing from a grim experience. The hilarious 26-year-old called up Movieline this week to chat about getting in shape, the tabloid treatment of his former Prison Break costar Wentworth Miller, and the lengths Mad Men showrunner Matthew Weiner went to during Allman’s guest appearance.

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True Blood’s Marshall Allman on Alan Ball, His Old Costar Wentworth Miller, and ‘Assin’ Around’ in the Buff

What’s On: When Kidnapper Meets Urban Legend

It’s Friday, which means that programming pickings are slim. Fortunately, Movieline has found a few new options that might make your humid night on the couch a little more bearable. Superheros and supervillains away you after the jump.

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What’s On: When Kidnapper Meets Urban Legend

Man on Wire Hero Will Teach You Tightrope Walking for $1,200

Philippe Petit, the tightrope walker whose 1974 escapades between the World Trade Center towers were chronicled in the Academy Award-winning documentary Man on Wire , this week taught his first-ever class of students in New York City. For the low, low price of $1,200, pupils received two days of instruction on balance, poise, and, finally, traversing a seven-foot-high wire in security harnesses. Alas, learning to Oscar-balance on one’s chin is an even more prohibitively expensive lesson reserved for the advanced class. [ NYT ]

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Man on Wire Hero Will Teach You Tightrope Walking for $1,200

TV Bites: Betty White Just Can’t Help Herself

Also in this morning’s TV Bites: A Jersey Shore idiot gets fictionalized on Bones … Alan Ball casts up his HBO pilot… Hawaii Five-0 finds room for a Hiro… and more ahead.

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TV Bites: Betty White Just Can’t Help Herself