The way Hilary rides the horn is the kind of that makes me want to hunt her down and give her a third trimester abortion with my fucking tongue…or maybe my fists…cuz there’s nothing more annoying than an irritating, spoiled bitch who is slightly inconvenienced so that she throws down a fucking hissy fit using what car manufacturers install for safety not for fucking pleasure in efforts of getting her way….seriously, I get that she’s mad her pussy will never be the same again, but can’t she just listen to some Mel C and deal with her shitty life choices….Cunt… Yes I just posted a Mel C song for Hilary Duff’s Vagina….
I am a huge fan of foreign films cuz they are full of tits and pussy…and this shit isn’t even a film…it’s a TV show called Kaboul Kitchen from france, where they get their actors completely naked like it was softcore porn, cuz they aren’t as uptight as Americans….for all we know this could be a fucking kids show….and thats why French girls have anal on the first date…. That said…watch it and take in some culture you fucking white trash hick….. Now the only issue is that shit’s too short and fast like most of your sex to see labia flapping in the wind…but it’s good enough for me…
Noooooooooooooo : “But get this — there’s another MIA actor that’s getting far more attention for the fact that he’ll be missing the ceremony this year. In fact, our source says it’s who most inquiries are about these days: The Artist ‘s Uggie. Yep, our sources confirm the pooch is out for the grand ceremony. And that breaks our hearts! Heck, the dog probably is more deserving of a Best Supporting Actor nomination that Jonah Hill, but that’s just our humble opinion.” Preach it , boys, preach it . [ E! ]
Ahem! Billy Bob Thornton wants to clear something up: “I would never make a movie about my best friend, either, or any other ex of mine, or something. That’s not my bag. I don’t mind exposing myself, but I’m certainly not gonna make a movie about someone else. If she came to me, or any of my friends came to me, and said, ‘I would like for you to write a film about these experiences I’ve had,’ then I would consider that. But no — we don’t even know how that happened.” Alas. [ Vulture ]
Can’t wait for Sam Raimi’s star-studded, mega-budget Oz: The Great and Powerful ? How about a low-budget, modern-day twist on the L. Frank Baum classic featuring Dorothy as a children’s book author (and Kansas transplant, natch) in Manhattan and co-starring Lance Henriksen, Billy Boyd and Christopher Lloyd? Oh. Well anyway, here’s the latest on Dorothy and the Witches of Oz , the erstwhile little-seen mini-series that by all appearances this weekend should become a little-seen theatrical release. Writer-director Leigh Scott’s film reportedly has one of the more roundabout broadcast/distribution records of any recent movie (save for Margaret , perhaps), but will finally come to theaters Friday. By “theaters,” I mean ” four venues in Arizona ,” with three more to follow Feb. 24 in Kansas and Kentucky. The film itself, meanwhile, appears pretty deeply NYC-centric — because no one’s ever imposed that twist on the Oz legend before: It does kind of look better than This Means War , right? And in “glorious 2D”! Well-played, team. Arizona, you are in luck! [via Big Hollywood ]
Sort of : “Hidden from the scrutinising eyes of the [Romanian] Secret Police, Irina Margareta Nistor dubbed over 5,000 foreign films that entered the country illegally and were distributed on the black market. Her husky and high-pitched voice became the symbol of freedom and Chuck Norris, Van Damme and Bruce Lee became national heroes. Chuck Norris vs. Communism follows the story of the tapes, the collapse of communism in Romania and the advent of the new capitalist era.” And surprise! The filmmakers are crowdsourcing the budget . Click through for the teaser and invest accordingly. [via press release, Chuck Norris v. Communism ]
“When he stepped down as Oscar producer in November over the use of an anti-gay slur , Brett Ratner committed to work with GLAAD on issues pertaining to LGBT images in Hollywood. Now the media advocacy group announced a new video campaign, which will be produced and directed by Brett Ratner. The upcoming video series will feature Hollywood celebrities, athletes, musicians and politicians ‘coming out of the closet’ as supporters of equality.” I’ll Brett you’re GLAAD that’s settled, amirite ? Sigh. [ Deadline ]
Wispy but sweet as spun sugar, The Secret World of Arrietty feels like a modest but exquisitely trimmed Japanese gift to fans of The Borrowers , British author Mary Norton’s classic children’s books. Having originated in Japan’s Studio Ghibli, home to animated films like Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away , the American version of Arrietty is its third translation; when Disney signed on it added a second director in seasoned sound designer Gary Rydstrom (the Japanese version is directed by Ghibli animator Hiromasa Yonebayashi). And yet the look and feel are unmistakable, adding anime flavor to a story so beloved in the West that the BBC took a crack at it with a live-action version just last year. In many ways it is a felicitous collaboration: The Japanese are known for their appreciation for all things miniature and scrappy young heroines. The two are combined in 14-year-old Arrietty (Bridgit Mendler), a “borrower” living underneath a rural home with her parents, Pod (Will Arnett) and Hominy (Amy Poehler). Borrowers, you soon figure out if you don’t already know, are basically just people who happen to be the size of a full-grown string bean. They lead a parasitic kind of life, though they operate with more stealth and grace than the crow that swoops in on the recalcitrant family cat to peck up a few fleas in the opening scene. The Borrowers need “human beans” to borrow from — their size makes any other kind of subsistence impossible — and yet they live in terror of their benefactors. Instead of instilling fear in Arrietty, constant warnings from her gruff, super-stoical dad and hysterical mother only make her more curious about the young boy who shows up at the house. Shawn (David Henrie) is sickly, and has been sent to the home of his aunt and her housekeeper Hara (an antic Carol Burnett) to convalesce for the summer. Where Arrietty’s parents focus only on her, Shawn’s mother is too wrapped up in work to care for him. But instead of exploring whether a broken-hearted kid might get lonely enough to start seeing tiny redheaded girls rappelling down his bed stand at night, the script (written by Karey Kirkpatrick, it feels very much adapted from the Japanese version, by Hayao Miyazaki and Keiko Niwa) keeps us closer to the concerns of its title character. Which is to say they make gentle suggestion of a young girl’s romantic awakening and negotiation of the world of big-eyed, giant-handed boys. Or perhaps that is a bit of a stretch. As someone unfamiliar with the series (outside of this memorably poignant This American Life segment about a young girl’s abiding belief in the existence of Borrowers), much about The Secret Life of Arrietty feels enigmatic, maybe even a little undercooked. Why are the borrowers so spooked about big people? Why is Shawn so unfazed by little ones? What’s the deal with Hara and her grudges? Why is Pod so hardcore about not using dollhouse implements to make life easier? What’s the point of being that small and how did they get that way? That you are compelled to either ignore or try and fill in the answers on your own is a testament to the film’s soothing charms, although occasionally the treacly music cues and trembling moments of wide-eyed apprehension are so twee your tweeth hurt. It’s a matinee treat for the very little ones, after all, though in its final scenes Arrietty veers into cigarette-and-turtleneck territory. Shawn, who is facing heart surgery, outlines his mopey philosophy of life: “We all have to die,” he says to Arrietty, by way of goodbye. “Sometimes you just have to accept the hand of fate.” Just when you are ready to stop caring whether a story takes shape to match the lushly hand-drawn layers of this enchanting world — which is to say after an hour or so of half-hearted allusions to human excess, the precious illusions of childhood, possible borrower genocide, and entrenched bigotry — Shawn’s speech pokes you with another tentative stab at meaning. No doubt those legion of Norton fans in the know will be moved as well as dazzled. With a little more care, the rest of us might have been let in on the secret as well. Follow Michelle Orange on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
Here is a new-ish 60-second bit of viral video that I wouldn’t mind installed in my living room: The first minute of every James Bond film, played on one screen divided into 22 parts. You won’t be able to take your eyes off it. As a bonus, find an older, longer complement that may finish the mind-blowing job commenced by the more recent video. Also: You’ll need full-screen and — if you’re at work — headphones for maximum effect. Turn it up! [Via Grantland ]
How’s this for a dramatic break-up story? After a nine-year relationship with SDB Partners, Chris Pine opted to part ways via email. Having worked with the actor for pretty much his entire career to date, during which time he rose from guest slots on ER and CSI: Miami to nabbing Star Trek and this week’s slick rom-com This Means War , Pine’s former agents weren’t going to be dumped so easily; they’re suing Pine for millions in back- and future-commissions with a lawsuit that puts his salaries on blast. All of which means that today we get to play “Guess That Salary – Chris Pine Edition!” As you ponder the fiscal worth of Pine’s charm, chops, and star power, consider the trajectory his career has taken since his film debut in 2004’s The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement . I recall feeling compassion for Pine when, in 2006, he found himself stuck opposite Lindsay Lohan in Just My Luck and playing a sightless virgin in Blind Dating ; can’t say his agents were doing a great service for him with those unfortunate turns. But then came Smokin Aces , with Pine near-unrecognizable as the eldest Tremor brother, and within a few years Pine landed the career-making role of Captain James T. Kirk in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek . Still, Star Trek fame wasn’t enough to help Pine open the long-delayed horror pic Carriers in the fall of 2009, but soon enough he found himself sharing the screen with Denzel Washington (and a runaway train) in Unstoppable , which boosted his profile. Now he’s billed along with fellow up and comer Tom Hardy and Reese Witherspoon in the love triangle spy romance This Means War , a slick $70M Valentine’s week offering from McG which in the very least showcases Pine’s pretty blue eyes, comic timing, and leading man swagger. And according to the SDB lawsuit (obtained by The Hollywood Reporter ), these last few years of rising stardom have brought Pine to quite an enviable place: For This Means War he was reportedly paid $5 million. ( Unstoppable nabbed him a $3 million paycheck, while he’s set to earn a base salary of $4 million, $8 million, and $12 million for the planned Jack Ryan series.) What say you, Movieliners? Is Pine’s star rising in accordance with his salary? Chris Pine Sued By Former Agents; ‘This Means War,’ ‘Star Trek 2’ Salary Revealed [THR]
