Tag Archives: bathing-suit

Jesus Luz Page Six Magazine

“I want to be married and have children at some point in my life,” Jesus Luz says. The Material Girl is missing out. Jesus Luz may be back on the market, but the Brazilian model, 24, says he doesn#39;t plan on keeping his bachelor status forever. Jesus Luz, Madonna#39;s ex-boyfriend, shows off his beach bod in a red-hot, briefs-style bathing suit for Page Six Magazine – despite dipping temperatures. But for now, he#39;s prowling the dating scene in Manhattan, where he moved to six years ag

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Jesus Luz Page Six Magazine

Chyna’s Dick Clit Makes a Comeback of the Day

When I was in the local little league, my baseball coach told me that when girls do steroids their clits grow as big as a grown man’s thumb, I didn’t know what a clit was at the time, since I was 12 and I still like to pretend I don’t, see cuz anything that gives a girl pleasure means I gotta work it, so it’s easier to pull the “It’s a myth card” to get her off my back….but his wise lecture seemed to make it less gay when he’d make us play with his penis the size of a grown man’s thumb…. I’m just kidding, I was never molested, but I figure that the coach telling us about dick clits was to break the ice for a future molesting….you know to get us comfortable enough to make us watch porn with him or however they do it….and I before the Chyna sex tape dropped, I didn’t really believe him, I just thought he was running game, but unfortunately, he wasn’t…cuz her clit is a dick and I guess the rest of her is kinda following her genital’s lead. She is vile, she probably always was, but the good news is that if you, like so many losers I knew, jerked off to her, you can stop kidding yourself and accept the fact that you are gay. Seriously, the fact this bitch has a sex tape – scares the hell out of me now, even more than it did then….What a fucking wreck.

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Chyna’s Dick Clit Makes a Comeback of the Day

Lookin’ Up Liz Hurley’s Skirt of the Day

Liz Hurley owns a bathing suit company, but for some reason, she’s never in a fucking bathing suit. I guess she’s insecure about her body. But not insecure enough to pay attention to her dresses behavior in the wind and I guess this is the closest we’ve come to seeing her half naked in a long time, and I’m not even sure what it is I am looking at. It could be panties, it could be a bikini, all I know is that it’s not pussy and despite knowing some weird things have been in and out of that shit, like Hugh Grant, kids and whatever else along the way, maybe the panties or bathing suit are a good thing….I guess for a bitch known for her tits…this is a let down, but as far as I’m concerned looking a bitch’s dress is never disappointing, unless of course she turns out having a dick…which is a whole other story we don’t really need to waste our time with…

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Lookin’ Up Liz Hurley’s Skirt of the Day

Beatrice Borromeo in a One Piece of the Day

This Beatrice Borromeo is not officially part of the Royal family of Monaco, but she’s having sex with one of them and that’s good enough for me to consider her fancy in the pants…and more importantly, there’s always something classy about jerking off to the Royal family, even if it is not officially Royal Family, and even if it is not in a two piece bathing suit, at least that’s what I used to tell myself when I had no access to porn and was forced to use the Queen’s image on the back of a Canadian penny to get off not enough years ago for it to be a story I should be sharing… Pics via Bauer

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Beatrice Borromeo in a One Piece of the Day

Gisele in a Bikini for Some Italian Company of the Day

I don’t think Gisele is very hot. I don’t really think she compares to the other pussy they have recruited. But I guess she has her position in the world and does her job…unfortunately for her that job is riding off her Victoria’s Secret fame by doing bikini campaigns for low level bathing suit companies for old times to feel relevant, but more importantly works hard and masking Tom Brady’s lockeroom homosexuality by staging a pregnancy and tucking her dick in properly so that it looks like cameltoe in her bikini bottoms.. This is not a post pregnant body….This is a man on hormone therapy’s body….I know there’s a conspiracy here…I just care enough to prove it.

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Gisele in a Bikini for Some Italian Company of the Day

Miley Cyrus Remains Unoriginal, Pathetic, Desperate for Attention

The Miley Cyrus street walking tour continued through Europe this weekend. Desperate to prove she’s no longer an innocent Disney teen (except when she wants to garner sympathy from her fans, that is), Cyrus performed in Rio and in Paris over the last couple days. The derivative act remained the same, as Cyrus wore fewer layers than Kendra Wilkinson; writhed around with back-up dancers on stage; and copied the exact same script Britney Spears perfected years ago: How to Be Edgy and Sexy, While Playing the Innocent, 17-Year Old Card Whenever Anyone Dares to Call You Out for Such Pathetic Acts and Lack of Talent. Yawn. We’ve been here and seen this multiple times in the past. At the very least, it would be nice if Miley offered fans something remotely creative… Miley Cyrus is totally innocent and naive, people! Where would you ever get the idea she’d make out with a girl in order to prove her edginess?!? [Photos: Splash News] At G-A-Y night club in Paris, meanwhile, Cyrus put on a hilarious performance: she sung inspirational ballad “The Climb,” while dressed like someone in a movie produced by Vivid Entertainment. You must watch: Miley Climbs Below, we’ve posted more videos of Miley performing in Paris and dressed like every talentless young star that can’t make it on talent alone. Can’t Be Tamed in Paris G-A-Y Performance Witnesses at the Paris club said they could see Miley’s underwear during most of her performance. Stay classy, girl!

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Miley Cyrus Remains Unoriginal, Pathetic, Desperate for Attention

Anna Paquin’s Shitty Bisexual Nipple in the Ocean of the Day

I hate bitches who swim in their shorts and t-shirts…I see it at the beach, the public pool, the waterpark, pretty much everywhere and I drives me fucking crazy no matter how ugly or gross or scared of the sun the body of the bitch is…. I understand it’s some insecurity shit that bitches with horrible bodies think make them look better than wearing an actual bikini, but the ill fitting wetness of swimming in your clothes like a fucking Muslim woman who isn’t allowed to show skin, makes she worse….Not to mention it isn’t feminine and I guess I should expect that from a closet Lesbian/openly bisexual cuz that’s step one to accepting your a fucking lesbian…who is built like a dude…and now swimming like a dude who doesn’t want to get a sunburn… I have went swimming with an uptight, sloppy bodied, lesbian once years ago….she didn’t want to wear a bathing suit, because it went against her lesbian grain….and she jumped in with shorts and a t-shirt that ended up turning see through…like Anna Paquin’s top…showing the whole group her nipples and bush…only to run off crying when I pointed out that her strategy to cover up by not wearing a bathing suit like a normal person was a backfire for her but win for all of us…. Either way, here’s her nipple, cuz ugly tit and horrible body or not, nipple is nipple… Pics via Bauer

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Anna Paquin’s Shitty Bisexual Nipple in the Ocean of the Day

The Nine Meals and 20 Drinks That Will Kill You [Food Culture]

Pretty soon, you will have to wear a bathing suit, outside of your house. Will you look like a babe/hunk? Not if you are eating the nine chain restaurant meals or 20 drinks that are the “worst in America.” More

Charlotte Gainsbourg in a See Thru Bathing Suit of the Day

The nice thing about American Apparel is that the brand is created and run by a total fucking pervert, and as a total fucking pervert, part of me has to love and respect his ability to take his fetishes to the mainstream and make millions off the shit, when really he just wanted to see every single girl in the world wear a t-shirt make out of thin cotton with no bra so that he could see their nipples, and some how became an overpriced revolution….a revolution that has made going to the beach, the public pool, the mall, the movies, the night clubs a little more exciting than it used to be, because I know I’ll see at least one bitch in a see through or semi-see through shirt…. Here’s Charlotte Gainsbourg wearing what looks like an American Apparel bathing suit that didn’t really hold up when it got wet, because I can see her fucking bush….because American Apparel is made cheaper than a thai prostitute, but people pay crazy prices to be part of the craze and all I really have to say to this bitch is that we get that she’s french, obscure and thinks she’s an artist, but seriously, bush even on hipsters and hippies is too obvious and played out…I get that brazilians became mainstream and bush became trendy, but I know these pictures would be better if I could see lip, cuz pussy lip is my fetish, not that you care. Pics via Bauer

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Charlotte Gainsbourg in a See Thru Bathing Suit of the Day

Cheeseburger, Stat! Tori Spelling is Very Thin

In the latest issue of Life & Style , the tabloid reports that Kendra Wilkinson wants to squeeze out a new baby in order to make up for her leaked sex tape. Incredibly, this was NOT the most ridiculous item on that magazine’s cover. The publication also quotes Tori Spelling as saying: I’m not too thin . That’s hilarious, considering the photo that accompanies this story: “Last summer, she didn’t want to be photographed in a bathing suit,” a source told the tabloid. “Now she’s much happier with herself. She’s still very thin, but she’s not bony anymore.” We guess that’s true. But when you set the bar at Shenae Grimes -like levels, it’s easy to clear. Study the photo above and you tell us: Tori Spelling looks…

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Cheeseburger, Stat! Tori Spelling is Very Thin