Tag Archives: bikini girls

Genevieve Morton is Fat of the Day

There is a terribly sad trend going on in bikini models – they are all eating too much salt, or just eating too much… This Genevieve Morton chick probably got cast by this company who booked her from her hot pics of yesteryear…before Kate Upton told her it’s ok to be plus sized…because dudes who buy magazines are into fat chicks…cuz they are married to even fatter chicks…comparatively…these are babes……not knowing they were getting a pig…only to get a big old pig…unable to re-schedule because budget was spent..they just went with it…despite what they actually wanted. Call me old school, but I like my bikini models to be fit…I don’t think there is anything wrong with getting a girl who does her squats in a bikini and paying her…but I do think there’s a whole lot wrong with getting a girl who looks like she ate her weighted squat weight in donuts…in a bikini… The funny thing in all this is that she’s gonna be in SI Swimsuit this year. High Standards yo… Someone needs to give me a magazine, where I will recruit actual fucking babes…not girls who played Babe pig in the City in their church Christmas pageant…while eating a plate of pork products…seriously.

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Genevieve Morton is Fat of the Day

Afternoon Hangover Dump of the Day

My favorite thing about staying up all night texting a girl obsessively because she looks good enough quality to marry…is when she doesn’t send me nude pics…it’s the best… I master rejection on all platforms… Here are some morning links… How Not to Ride Through Sand GO Ashlee Simpson is a Fat Pig.. GO Bikini Shopping at Wal Mart GO Girls You Can Barely See… GO 12 People Who Fuck Up Bowling… GO Candice Swanepoel Posing With Bras GO Taylor Swift in her Old Lady Dress GO Ariana Grande for Complex… GO 15 Actors You Would Recognize in These Roles GO 13 Dogs on Slides GO WEBCAM PARTY GO

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Afternoon Hangover Dump of the Day

Lindsay Lohan Selfies Are My Porn of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a delicate flower sent from heaven to grace the world with her talent and grace…she is the closes thing to “Old Hollywood” Glamour we have in this world of gutter, prostitute fame whores…but the good part of “Old Hollywood” Glamour , overdoses, unpaid hotel bills, sex scandals and illegitimate babies left on the bathroom floor of high end restaurants while wearing Chanel… I believe she will make a comeback and that one day the selfie she takes will be more an award winning cinematographer giving her the venue she needs to shine bright like the raped and pillaged diamond she is… You know polish this babe off and pump some life into her like she’s pumping up her lips.. It is time for the revival…#TeamLohan for Life.

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Lindsay Lohan Selfies Are My Porn of the Day

Jaimie Alexander in Esquire of the Day

Jaimie Alexander is doing this marketing thing proper…everything strategic and well timed…from her twat yesterday…to an Esquire feature today…people like me who do this everyday and had never heard of her before…are now made aware…and at 29…I guess she’s got no choice but to step her shit up…cuz if you don’t make it by 30…you ain’t ever gonna make it girls…don’t blame me…it’s just the way it is…but I’ll always take you in…because 30′s not that bad…it is usually ready to fuck, perfectly broken, and has given up on high hopes and expectations….it’s just not good enough to land real movie gigs like THOR… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS AND VIDEO VISIT ESQUIRE CLICK HERE

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Jaimie Alexander in Esquire of the Day

Nicki Minaj Booty Dance of the Day

I don’t know which ass is Nicki Minaj’s or if any of these asses are Nicki Minaj’s because they all look the fucking same to me… Was that racist? I feel like that was racist? Am I going to have to make a donation to the United Negro College Fund again, or adopt a black baby like I was Sandra Bullock? Just look at the booty shaking and pretend this post never happened.

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Nicki Minaj Booty Dance of the Day

Jennifer Lawrence’s Lesbian Haircut of the Day

I don’t know why this is news…or why people care…I guess that is just further proof that we are fucking doomed as a society…but Jennifer Lawrence cut her hair…like she was Anne Hathaway…now give her a fucking Oscar… I just know that a world where this affects people in anyway, other than sexual, you know a world where this is dinner table conversation, like “Oh Emm Gee Jennifer Lawrence cut her hair, did you see”….is a world I can’t live in…or at least don’t want to live in…and while living in it…I will have to do as much damage as possible to regulate or sidetrack people from going down this horrible road…by sexualizing these things…and giving her hair a sexual preference…you know if her hair was a porno, there would be mad strap ons – yo.

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Jennifer Lawrence’s Lesbian Haircut of the Day

Some Drunk Dude…Pissing in a Garbage Can of the Day

The best thing about being drunk is if you’re a mayor of a Canadian city you can blame it for your crack smoking, if you’re a pervert you can blame it for cheating on your wife / fucking a fat chick…you can blame it on your DUI…it is really the answer to all your problems and people accept it as a valid excuse because they’ve been drunk too… In this dude’s case, it’s the reason he got to pee in the garbage can at a convenience store…something I am sure at least one of you wanted to do…but wasn’t drunk enough to do it… Liquid courage baby…it’s our life line…

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Some Drunk Dude…Pissing in a Garbage Can of the Day

Some Drunk Dude…Pissing in a Garbage Can of the Day

The best thing about being drunk is if you’re a mayor of a Canadian city you can blame it for your crack smoking, if you’re a pervert you can blame it for cheating on your wife / fucking a fat chick…you can blame it on your DUI…it is really the answer to all your problems and people accept it as a valid excuse because they’ve been drunk too… In this dude’s case, it’s the reason he got to pee in the garbage can at a convenience store…something I am sure at least one of you wanted to do…but wasn’t drunk enough to do it… Liquid courage baby…it’s our life line…

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Some Drunk Dude…Pissing in a Garbage Can of the Day

Catie is the Babe of the Day

Her name is CATIE …She’s 19…American and pretty much perfect to look at and more importantly in her career choices..that involve her showing off just how much she likes her music…a lot better than any girl has ever liked me…or the things I do to them…but in my defence they are usually drunk or passed out by the time we get to the topless part of the night…while Catie…just does this on her own and is amazing at it…or at least amazing to look at while she’s at it…these glamour shots may not change your life, but I would like to divorce my wife to marry. TO SEE MORE OF MILA GETTING WAY MORE HARDCORE

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Catie is the Babe of the Day

Traci Lords Lives of the Day

Traci Lords is the kind of pornstar I like…classic…an innovator but more importantly a shit disturber…teen runaway at 15…only to turn to porn…only to announce on her 18th birthday that she wasn’t 18 when she shot all those porns…making her a kiddie porn star…and the people who shot her getting fucked…as the barely legal who was not legal…kiddie pornographers in a time when the industry already got so much heat…that’s like some broken girl punk rock shit that I think leads to an interesting existence…an existence that has brought her to this…even Terry Richardson saw her at….she looks 90, is actually 45, because that’s the porn aging formula…I’m still a fan of all she represents…I want to be her friend…with my mouth. Here’s a classic porn of hers NSFW

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Traci Lords Lives of the Day