Tag Archives: Britney Spears

Kate Upton Does Naughty Britney

According to my sources, there’s an entire show on TV right now dedicated to celebrities lip-syncing. And I was all set to write some TV producer a congratulatory email about how they’ve finally managed to find something even lamer than Carpool Karaoke . But then I saw Kate Upton “perform” Britney and uh, yeah, nevermind. If you ask me, they should turn this into it’s own 24-hour channel. Encore!

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Kate Upton Does Naughty Britney

Kate Upton’s Britney Spears Lip Sync of the Day

I hate that I am posting or promoting the new episode of Lip Sync Battle for Spike, who have done zero to nothing to ever promote me, at least not that I remember, I feel like they have never done anything for me… Well, they have one show that works still, in an era where TV is dead, and they milk the fuck out of it, like you’ll want to milk the fuck out of Kate Upton’s tits, while she’s on all fours…because as fat as Kate Upton has been, despite it being ignored, her tits have always been why she matters, I mean that and her family fortune because one of them invented the Washing Machine, but that doesn’t matter..when you put a bitch with fat tits on all fours…the people who like fat tits, which is every dude everywhere, will like watching…it’s her best angle…thanks to her push up bra.. YES this is Spike pandering for views..but sometimes…you just got to give motherfucker the views they want…because there’s a fat bitch with big tits on all fours showing off her tits.. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN… Sure, shameless, low hanging fruit, but that’s what life is about and I am glad to see people branded as Men’s tv are still bringing the misogyny in this patriarchy… We as men need wet t-shirt contests, growin women in girls in school girl outfits and really all slutty costumes…it is what makes us work, and what gets girls work…without us being so basic…so many of these women that are millionaires today – wouldn’t exist…because so many women who are millionaires did shit like this…magic…so simple…but the male mind is simple..quit trying to fuck with it and make us a bunch of girls. The post Kate Upton’s Britney Spears Lip Sync of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Kate Upton’s Britney Spears Lip Sync of the Day

Britney Spears Planking In a Bikini with Some Dance Fitness of the Day

Britney Spears is a wonderful creature and she’s showing her age by doing a channeling a sea animal that her crazy ass probably thinks she is – because she’s crazy – or this is a little PLANK on the beach, since PLANKING was the last trend that was relevant back when Britney was allowed to use the internet…before her family…the captors who put her under conservatorship locked that out…so she can’t cry for help, but can instead fill her days training for her Vegas dance show..and sometimes, if she’s a little tired from all the sedatives and demands they have on her to be their dancing monkey….like the golden egg she is….they let her go to Hawaii….where she can play on the beach…in her bikini…but you know her handlers with their leashes and cages aren’t too far away! That said, I know she’s doing a surf lessons, and not planking, but there’s no story in her having the independence to learn to surf, unless of course she takes that board out to the horizon and is never seen again…you know in a save yourself from the prison you live in kind of way. I’ve seen Point Break 100 times, it’s one of my favorite movies…I know how the surf logic works….hang ten, gnarly, fucking I don’t know anything else, because I am old, like Britney….only she’s got a tight body to match her mid 30s almost 40 face… It’s fascinating when you think about it, considering I remember jerking off to the HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME VIDEO…20 years ago… 20 fucking years ago… Depressing…..but here are her tits in a bikini anyway… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE She posted a workout video…it was good….because working out is what keeps her bikini ready and able to dance dance dance all night making her family their “oil” or natural gas in their Louisana Swamp money that comes in the form of their hot dancing monkey near 40 year old daughter…make that money… The post Britney Spears Planking In a Bikini with Some Dance Fitness of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Britney Spears Planking In a Bikini with Some Dance Fitness of the Day

Dancing With the Stars Results: Who Got the Boot on Vegas Week?

Who got the boot on Dancing with the Stars, and who lived to dance another week after some good, bad and ugly Vegas Week performances? As always, it came down to the wire as the contenders are starting to distance themselves from the pretenders of the Season 24 crew. Not going home? Heather Morris, the former Glee star and Beyonce backup dancer who has critics saying Dancing with the Stars is rigged . It’s not, but she is quite good. With per partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy out at least a week due to an injury, she and sub Alan Burston did not miss a beat on Monday. The two performed a tango to Britney Spears’ “Toxic,” which had the judges (and those who remember the classic music video) floored. Heather and Alan earned a 33 out of 40, tying them with Nancy Kerrigan and Artem Chigvintsev, who performed a samba to Ricky Martin. Kerrigan is breaking a leg , but only in the figurative sense, so far; Nick Viall, on the other hand, has yet to find a post-Bachelor groove. Nick and Peta Murgatroyd struggled in rehearsals, and while the judges offered some kind comments, their score was a modest 26. Tying that total were Bonner Bolton and Sharna Burgess , who went down faster than his hand on her waist during the infamous premiere. They were tied with Simone Biles last week, so falling back into a tie with Nick and Erika Jayne, who also scored a 26, was not ideal. At the very bottom of the scoreboard, though, were two other celeb couples: Mr. T and Kym Herjavec, along with Charo and Keo Motsepe. Mr. T’s foxtrot was a hit, but not a scoring hit, and while Charo threatened to quit last week, she may get her wish as both scored 24. Last to dance Monday night? Normani Kordei and Valentin Chmerkovskiy, whose foxtrot earned them two 8s and two 9s, and sole possession of first place with 34. Rashad Jennings and Emma Slater, David Ross and Lindsay Arnold, and Simone Biles and Sasha Farbery, all performed solid routines. Solid, but not great, landing them in the middle of the pack. Simone, in particular, struggled to bring the personality to match her athleticism. All of the above were safe on this evening, as the bottom of the group who you would expect to be sweating it out sure as heck was. The two couples in jeopardy: Charo and Keo , along with Nick and Peta. No Bachelor star has ever gone home this fast (Melissa Rycroft is the only one to win it). View Slideshow: Dancing with the Stars: 9 Raciest Moments in Show History History was on Nick’s side, it turned out. As it turned out, Charo and Keo were the ones eliminated from Dancing with the Stars, which prompted this interesting quote from her: “Bruno, I’ll see you in the parking lot!”  Okay then … Bruno, you want to give me low scores and kick me off the show bruh? Then you can cash me ousside, how bow dah ?

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Dancing With the Stars Results: Who Got the Boot on Vegas Week?

Read An Excerpt of Darcie Wilder’s Literally Show Me A Healthy Person

Darcie Wilder’s second book, Literally Show Me A Healthy Person, is a stylized, free-flowing collection of thoughts. In the excerpt below, the voice of @MTVNews waxes about Britney Spears, mortality, and relationships. the skin on the tops of my hands are splitting apart. just like my parents did. and their parents before them ’stronger to… Read more »

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Read An Excerpt of Darcie Wilder’s Literally Show Me A Healthy Person

Read An Excerpt of Darcie Wilder’s Literally Show Me A Healthy Person

Darcie Wilder’s second book, Literally Show Me A Healthy Person, is a stylized, free-flowing collection of thoughts. In the excerpt below, the voice of @MTVNews waxes about Britney Spears, mortality, and relationships. the skin on the tops of my hands are splitting apart. just like my parents did. and their parents before them ’stronger to… Read more »

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Read An Excerpt of Darcie Wilder’s Literally Show Me A Healthy Person

Britney Spears Made A Backstreet Boy The Star Of Her Vegas ‘Freak Show’

Britney Spears dominated a Backstreet Boy and made him crawl around on all fours as the star of her ‘Freak Show’ in Las Vegas.

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Britney Spears Made A Backstreet Boy The Star Of Her Vegas ‘Freak Show’

Britney Spears Sex Tape: Actually on the Way?!

While many of her contemporaries have starred in homemade skin flicks, Britney Spears managed to avoid the sex tape craze of the late ’00s. (Brit showed an awful lot of bare flesh when she shaved her head , but that was an art film, not a porn, thankyouverymuch .) These days, Britney has a lucrative Vegas residency keeping her at home, and she’s living a life of (relatively) quiet domestic contentment. Her sons Sean Preston and Jayden James are 11 and 10 (!) and their mom, who turned 35 in December, largely keeps things on the DL. Thanks to the Internet, however, our wild days aren’t nearly as far behind us as we’d like to think. And the pop princess had some WILD days. According to celebrity gossip site Radar Online, a Britney Spears sex tape is currently being shopped around by an anonymous seller. This long-awaited footage, which Radar claims to have viewed and decided not to publish, reportedly shows Britney Spears fully nude.  And smoking a joint and “gyrating on top of a secret lover.” Smoking a joint while having sex? Really? We’re assuming this is bogus, but then again, at the height of her “f–k you, dad and Disney!” phase, it wouldn’t have been that outlandish. Not surprisingly, the website’s sources say Spears “is horrified this is happening to her after everything that she’s been through.” “She’s totally mortified and not coping well at all,” adds one insider, noting that the pop icon’s reputation is actually a big concern to her. Though her legacy seems pretty well cemented at this point, Britney reportedly fears that the emergence of a sex tape could undo it. Will this undo all that she’s worked for? “Every time she thinks she’s finally put the past to bed, something comes back to haunt her,” the Spears insider tells Radar . “A seedy sex tape is more than she can handle right now.” We like to picture a harried Brit setting down a bag of groceries, instructing her kids to wash up for dinner, then looking at her phone and being all like: “Dammit, not a seedy sex tape! Not today!” But in all seriousness, we can imagine her frustration, given the time that’s passed since she went off the rails and recovered so well. Britney is currently dating Sam Ashgari , and friends say she feels she’s finally found the contentment and stability she sought for so long. Excuse the pun, but since her teen years, life has been Chaotic . So much so, that last month, a god-awful Lifetime biopic  Britney Ever After  was released, chronicling her infamous dark period. The film even claimed the singer made a sex tape at the height of her fame, but like a Twitter-addicted president, no one took it seriously. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day though. Just saying. The fact that the dumbest biopic ever hacked up might soon be proven factually accurate could be the worst part of this whole thing. Just kidding, the worst part is the galling and terrifying invasion of privacy that stars like Britney are constantly besieged by. Never change, Hollywood bottom-feeders! View Slideshow: 21 Hottest Britney Spears Photos of ALL TIME

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Britney Spears Sex Tape: Actually on the Way?!

Britney Spears Bikini Beach of the Day

This is a Britney Spears video she posted to her social media – of her on the beach in a bikini – doing some “I’m a save for you” dance move that has been pounded into her brain so many times from her dance instructors, that it’s really all the she knows, and anytime she gets out of bed…she’d does this….. My favorite thing about this video, other than it being Britney Spears, the puppet that keeps earning for her family because they figure out how to legally enslave her…which is pretty fucking hot to me…..is that this isn’t the first take…if you look at the Sand, you will see that she did it before, in an ‘oops I did it again for the camera”….typical Britney Behavior….that I can jerk off to….because I know that part of her earnings go to K-Fed and that alone inspires me to find a Britney of my Own… The post Britney Spears Bikini Beach of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Britney Spears Bikini Beach of the Day

Disney Gone Wild: Former Child Stars Who Let Loose

From Miley Cyrus to Bella Thorne to the early years of Britney Spears… this list is a long one. … read more

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Disney Gone Wild: Former Child Stars Who Let Loose