Tag Archives: clothes

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap – Strip No More

The Real Housewives of Atlanta “Press Down and Strip Bare” but I think we were all begging that some of these ladies would put their clothes back on. We break down all of the husband chasing and divorce rumors in THG’s +/- recap! NeNe meets up with Kenya after their trip. She wants to figure out if Kenya’s for real. Minus 10 . Duh. She’s really nuts is what she is. You’d think NeNe would have figured that out. Has anyone else had enough of the Kenya and Walter show? Minus 15 . What part of, this guy’s just not that into you , is Kenya not getting? I almost felt sorry for the guy. Kenya calls him aggressive when he was finally being honest with her.  She claims he yelled at her when all he did was tell her something she didn’t want to hear.  Have you noticed that Walter’s in his work uniform with the logo clearly visible about 50% of the time he’s on camera? Minus 14. Maybe I’m paranoid but could he be hanging on to Kenya for the free publicity? When Kenya says she wants to be married in six months Walter practically laughed in her face.  She claims she’s wife material, not just a girlfriend. Walter shoots back by asking if she’s really wife material, why is she still single at 40 something? Ouch!  Minus 20 . How much more of a shove does Kenya need before she realizes that this just isn’t happening. If Kenya is serious about having a baby, she may need to talk to NeNe about that turkey baster. Across town, Peter gets a text about Phaedra and Apollo’s supposed divorce.  Um…why is Peter getting gossip updates on his phone?   So Peter and Cynthia come up with a grand scheme. She’s heard that Apollo frequents strip clubs like some people visit Starbucks.  So let’s head to a strip club with Apollo and Phaedra and get all the dirt.  Plus 22 . There must be a hundred strip clubs in Atlanta, yet somehow they manage to find the skeeviest hole in the wall place possible. The strippers are jiggling rolls of cellulite. I can’t imagine that there’s enough alcohol to make that look good. While Phaedra’s yelling take it off, Peter’s begging keep it on.  LOL. Plus 9. I was actually relieved that they were drinking out of paper cups at the bar. Plus 11. I don’t think I’d want to drink out of a glass anyone else had touched in that establishment. Honestly, more dirt comes out days later when Apollo confides to Peter that, “I’m dealing with a God damn beast, man.”  and claims it takes a lunatic to deal with Phaedra. Apollo’s only 32 and he’s spent six years in prison. He sounds bitter that Phaedra’s keeping him from having his fun. Minus 10. When Apollo and Phaedra invite Kenya over to talk about their workout video it’s obvious the two are on different wave lengths.  He says Phaedra’s entire concept won’t work.  Minus 13 . Perhaps they could have had this discussion before Kenya got there. On the opposite end of the spectrum is Porsha who might just be the dumbest housewife of the bunch but she’s also the happiest.  She can’t even remember how many bedrooms her house has. It might be eight.  No wonder she’s shooting for twins. That’s a lot of rooms to fill. Plus 20 to Kandi for shooting down Porsha’s yam theory.  Watching Porsha try to wrap her mind around the concept of heredity and genetics was amusing. And finally there’s NeNe who is doing the money shot for Ebony magazine, literally.  She’s covered in cash and diamonds and posing for the cover of their Power 100 issue. Plus 25. From stripper to Power 100 cover girl. No matter what you think of Ms. NeNe, you can’t say she hasn’t come far. EPISODE TOTAL: +5! SEASON TOTAL: -172!  

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap – Strip No More

Let’s Have A Big Hand For The Sexiest Movie Trends of 2012!

We can all agree that 2012 has been an excellent year for the movies , but the more salacious among us will note that it’s been an awesome year to perv out at the movies. Although we didn’t get another look at the Fassmember and all the conflicting feelings it brought up (Hotness! Confusion! Embarrassment at being psyched to see him naked in Shame when actually it’s really f***ing depressing!) there were some rather interesting trends that reared their heads that invite a closer look. Whether studios are getting braver or filmmakers are getting bolder is a debate for another time — and please don’t suggest that 50 Shades had too much to do with it. Let’s salute all the sexin’ that happened onscreen in 2012. Hair Here, There, and Everywhere Merkin-makers must have been counting their coins this year because going au naturel was all the rage, although I’m sure that the Brazilian waxers weren’t going hungry either. Neither of the leading ladies in Killer Joe kept their pants on the whole time, which wasn’t too much of a shock given director William Friedkin ‘s bold career. ( Cruising , anyone?) The very first scene puts us — and Emile Hirsch — face to face with Gina Gershon’s lustrous bush* as Gershon throws open the door to the family trailer wearing nothing but a T-shirt. Juno Temple is probably the most naked, though, as the uncomfortably young and dotty Dottie, who’s given to Killer Joe (the frequently shirtless Matthew McConaughey ) as a retainer until her brother and dad can pay him for killing their mother. (Got all that?) I’m not sure if Dottie is psychic and otherworldly or, you know, touched in the head, or even if she’s of age, but let’s get back to that later in the “Is This Even Legal?” section. *(Actually a merkin, as per this interview .) In the slightly more matter-of-fact dramedy The Sessions , Helen Hunt sheds her clothes in a professional manner as a sex surrogate hired by a man who’s spent most of his life in an iron lung. Some critics have commented that it seems unfair to show Hunt’s character completely nude while John Hawkes remains covered, but even Hawkes would have a hard time pulling off a nude scene as a paralyzed polio survivor. Sarah Polley’s Take This Waltz kept it casual when it came to the full frontal females. After an apparently hilarious incident of pool-peeing, Michelle Williams and Sarah Silverman enjoyed a tête–à–tête in the communal YMCA showers with a whole bunch of other ladies from their water aerobics class. Although I’ve never enjoyed a chill convo with my shower neighbors at the gym, I did appreciate finally seeing a wider variety of female bodies on screen. The extras were different ages and ethnicities, shapes and sizes, and they were just doing what bodies do when they’re not on sexual display. They all seemed a lot less pissed than I would have been if some yahoo had ruined my water aerobics class, too. Coming in Handy Handjobs aren’t just for high school any more, y’all. In fact, some of the most highfalutin films of the year show or imply manual stimulation. There was all sorts of snickering among the less mature among us (ahem) about masturbation in The Master , wherein the sort-of-but-not-really L. Ron Hubbard stand-in played by Philip Seymour Hoffman gets an almost stern handjob from his wife, Oscar hopeful Amy Adams . Seriously: that didn’t look like much fun. Hyde Park on Hudson gives a new meaning to kissing cousins when FDR’s “distant cousin” Margaret Stuckley (Laura Linney) gives a surreptitious hand to the cigarette-chomping prez, played by Bill Murray . The less said about this, the better. It’s not even clear what to call the scene in Holy Motors when Monsieur Merde (French for shit, for those of you playing at home) suffers from some sort of ecstatic priapism in the presence of a gorgeous fashion model played by Eva Mendes. But let’s not leave out the ladies! There was nothing quite as steamy as Gina Gershon subtly but skillfully manipulating Jennifer Tilly in Bound (under the tutelage of Susie Bright, who was a consultant on the early Wachowski film), but it seems practically greedy to ask for that much hotness once every decade or so. However, the sweetly sexy Hello I Must Be Going does have a hot and heavy make-out scene between freshly divorced Amy ( Melanie Lynskey ) and younger man Jeremy (Christopher Abbott of Girls ) that involves some deft fingerbangin’. Sisters don’t always have to do it for themselves, you know. Homoerotic Tension It seems like folks were waiting on tenterhooks to see Kristen Stewart joyfully jack off Sam Riley and Garrett Hedlund in On the Road , but the real hotness in that movie is Hedlund’s portrayal of Dean Moriarty’s playful pansexuality. His toothy, mischievous grin reels in not just the ladies but soulful men like Tom Sturridge’s Carlo Marx, a stand-in for Allen Ginsberg. And honestly, I don’t believe for a second that Marylou (Stewart) was the only one who wanted that threesome with Sal (Riley). Movieline has already explored the bondage-y vibe between James Bond and Skyfall villain Silva , which gave many viewers all sorts of naughty thoughts about Javier Bardem and Daniel Craig. I’d be seriously remiss if we left out Ezra Miller , the freaky fashion plate who came out as queer in a delightful Out magazine feature . As Patrick, Miller is the best part of The Perks of Being a Wallflower , and not just because he’s the best Frank-N-Furter this side of Tim Curry. (Those gams!) The tumultuous relationship he has with a closeted schoolmate is heartbreaking and the realest part of this YA adaptation. Also, he is extremely hot, and I don’t care if that makes me a dirty old lady. Plenty of people fall in love at the office, and in About Cherry , their office is a porn studio, filmed at Kink.com ‘s headquarters at the Armory in San Francisco. Young porn starlet Angelina (Ashley Hinshaw) and director Margaret (Heather Graham) feel the heat when Rollergirl gets behind the camera for a movie, but it’s not until they break up with their respective significant others that they become a sexy power couple. Jack and Diane is full of smoldering teen lust, and Riley Keough is fully channeling her grandfather Elvis as a young soft butch falling for Brit pixie Diane, played by Juno Temple. There’s lots of smooching and yearning and whatnot, including an ill-fated attempt at shaving Diane’s pubes, but there’s also a werewolf interlude because teenage lust can be scary or something. NEXT: First timers, role-playing, and Rust & Bone

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Let’s Have A Big Hand For The Sexiest Movie Trends of 2012!

Perverted Old Music Teacher Popped For Having Sex With 16-Year-Old Girl Who Was A Member Of His Wife’s Choir

SMH at his dirty old man bribing the young lady into a sexual relationship with cell phones, iPods, and gifts.. According to NY Post: A Brooklyn middle school music teacher and trumpet player bedded a teenage member of his wife’s youth choir — and even had sex with the girl while his wife was at church, officials said. Vaughn McKinney, a teacher at IS 59 in Queens, was arrested this morning on charges of rape and sexual misconduct, cops said. The music teacher allegedly pressured the then- 16-year-old girl into a sexual relationship after she complained about needing a job because she didn’t have enough money to buy a phone. McKinney not only bought the girl a cell phone and paid the monthly bills, according to city investigators, he also gave her an iPod, shoes from a SoHo boutique and cash — but with sleazy strings attached. “If I get you the cell phone, you know what you have to do for it,” McKinney was quoted as saying by the girl’s father, a report by the Special Commissioner of Investigation found. Patricia McKinney is the musical director for the East Flatbush Ecumenical Community Choir, which the girl was a member of for four years. Patricia McKinney is the musical director for the East Flatbush Ecumenical Community Choir, which the girl was a member of for four years. The church pastor then confronted McKinney, allegedly got him to confess — and reported the matter to the girl’s mother. The pastor told investigators he did not contact police at that point, the report says. What the hell took these fools so long to report this?! This slimy scuzzbucket should’ve lost his job and thrown in jail a long time ago.

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Perverted Old Music Teacher Popped For Having Sex With 16-Year-Old Girl Who Was A Member Of His Wife’s Choir

Doo-Doo Brown! Chicago Police Searching For Man Who Smacked Train Passenger In The Face With A Sock Full Of Feces

SMH Police Searching For Man Who Slapped Train Passenger With Feces-Filled Sock Police in the Chicago area are currently searching for a man who attacked a female train passenger and hit her in the face with a sock filled with fresh poop. via NBC News A woman riding the Chicago Transit Authority’s Blue Line in Oak Park told police she was last week attacked by another passenger wielding a sock filled with human feces. “He had a sock full of his poop on me,” the 21-year-old college student told the Pioneer Press. “It was everywhere; on my face, my hair, my clothes.” The victim, requesting anonymity, said she screamed and tried to follow her attacker, but he escaped up the Austin Boulevard exit and ran northbound on Austin. She expressed utter disgust and outrage. “It was like the biggest degradation I’ve ever [experienced]. I wish he had just hit me,” she said, because she thinks that would have been less traumatic. “The worst part is nobody had anything to wipe my face with,” she said. She managed to find some newspapers before paramedics arrived. The paramedics gave her towels and water. That is one ishtty situation. Image via Shutterstock

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Doo-Doo Brown! Chicago Police Searching For Man Who Smacked Train Passenger In The Face With A Sock Full Of Feces

Kim Kardashian: Back to Banging!

Sorry for the misleading headline. There is no new Kim Kardashian sex tape on the market. But the reality TV star has decided to end the year with a fresh look, Tweeting it to her millions of followers yesterday along with a series of photos that chronicle stylist Chris McMillan’s work. “Fun shoot today @mrchrismcmillan He just can’t control his scissor hands! #bangs’,” wrote Kardashian as a caption to the following images: McMillan is also responsible for the “Rachel” on Jennifer Aniston many years ago, along with the new Miley Cyrus hair that continues to generate opinions on both sides. Are you down with Kim’s revamped look? Do you like Kardashian with bangs?   Yes, she looks great! No, I hate it! Only with her clothes off! View Poll »

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Kim Kardashian: Back to Banging!

Lindsay Lohan Steals Max George’s Sweatshirt, Brags on Twitter

Lindsay Lohan wants the world to know that she got Max George out of his clothes… literally. On Saturday, she tweeted at George a photo of his sweatshirt with the caption “Missing Something? The notorious redhead has been not-so-secretly pursuing the 24 year old singer. Just a few days ago, Lindsay was spotted on The Wanted’s tour bus as the personal guest of Max. George discussed Lohan with Us Weekly at Z100’s Jingle Ball on December 7, saying, “It’s fun, she’s a good girl. She can party nearly as hard as we can.” Sounds like a great influence!   

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Lindsay Lohan Steals Max George’s Sweatshirt, Brags on Twitter

On the 6th Day of stepXMAS my Hooker Gave to Me…..of the Day

SOME EVERYDAY ENERGY TO KEEP UP WITH THE HOLIDAY PERVERTS….. …from hanging outside changing rooms and at the bottom of escalators in hopes of seeing up skirts…to hanging in bars filled with single or recently divorced women who don’t want to be alone for the holidays….to crashing corporate Christmas parties…for the free booze….you need this this holiday season… Modeled by the ever amazing and Beautiful and lovely girls who are my friends and not my hooker ARIEL REBEL and VERONICA VICE TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

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On the 6th Day of stepXMAS my Hooker Gave to Me…..of the Day

Carmen Electra Performs Like It is the 90s of the Day

Carmen Electra decided to perform at someone’s birthday this past weekend…now I am not sure whether she was hired to perform as some kind of sick joke mocking her for being willing to get up on stage at 45 and pull this shit it….or if someone legitimately wanted to see Carmen Electra perform…or if this was actually just for fun…you know to be playful amongst friends…and the paparazzi just happened to be there…I just know it happened…and her fit body…looks fucking amazing…and despite hating girls over 30…I think I may be in love…and that’s not just because I liked her when she was relevant in the 90s…it is because this girl knows how to fucking move….a star stripper…who keeps her clothes on…I’m a fan… Here’s teh video….and it is amazing TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Carmen Electra Performs Like It is the 90s of the Day

Katt Williams And Live Nation Slapped With Class Action Lawsuit!!!

They want their dayum money back! Can you blame them though?? According to TMZ , Katt didn’t leave folks too entertained after his meltdown during his show in Oakland. Williams and promoter Live Nation are on the receiving end of a class action lawsuit filed by Brian Herline on behalf of everyone who went to see the comedian “perform” on November 16. According to the lawsuit — filed on the day before Thanksgiving in Alameda County, CA — Katt’s show ended after just 10 minutes … but not before he “confronted a heckler, took his clothes off, and attempted to fight at least three audience members.” The suit is seeking unspecified damages for “Katt Williams’ non-performance.” Williams has been stringing together one bizarre appearance after another as of late and was actually arrested in Oakland just two days before the show in question. We reached out to reps for Katt and Live Nation … no word back. Do you think everyone should get a refund?? Images via tumblr

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Katt Williams And Live Nation Slapped With Class Action Lawsuit!!!

Rihanna GQ Photos: Topless, Tattooed

Rihanna, taking almost all of it off to titillate magazine readers? We can’t even remember the last time we saw such a thing. It’s been hours, maybe even days since you’ve seen Rihanna nude , but more of her GQ photos from next month’s issue have been released. Enjoy. Or not. Rihanna propensity for nudity is an interesting case study. Is she selling records, or her body? Don’t answer that, T-Boz . Seriously, one wonders what Rihanna’s trying to prove, or accomplish. If she keeps her clothes on, does she think no one will buy her albums anymore? Is she trying to constantly remind Chris Brown that she’s a better catch than Karrueche Tran? Or set a record for most tattoos on a single female pop star? Questions for another day. For now, click to enlarge the Rihanna pictures below and ogle away.

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Rihanna GQ Photos: Topless, Tattooed