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I wanted to post this because I saw a lot of rape apologists on a recent thread on here. Maybe this will raise some awareness. And it's written by a guy, so maybe other dudes will have an easier time grasping it. -AL http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/7/8/882464/-Blaming-the-victim-of-rape-is-wro… ___ I meant to write this diary a long time ago—in fact, I meant it as a followup diary to my On Rape and Men (Brace Yourself), which I still receive mail for (mostly positive). I have received a few stories that have prompted me to finally write a follow-up diary. So here it is. I will be addressing this issue largely as a women's issue—uh, because it is—but I will also cover male victims of rape because they are a feminist issue as well. To put the thesis of this diary simply, the victim of rape is never at fault. I. Why We Blame and Why It's Wrong Before we get into why it's wrong to blame the victim of rape, I think it's important to examine why many people feel inclined to blame the victim. Ellen Friedrichs shares a compelling theory: Another study done by researchers in Israel found that people blame rape victims in order to maintain a sense of control over their own lives. As they write, In general, the results show that subjects attribute blame to the rape victim. Attribution of blame helps to reinforce the casual observer’s belief that the world is a safe, protected place, and that occurrences such as rape can be controlled…Blame reflects the way in which people organize data regarding events and behaviors that have actual or potential adverse consequences. It is possible that, given the perception that women are vulnerable, exposed, and more aware of their vulnerability, they are expected to act with extra caution to avoid rape, and are therefore judged more harshly when actually victimized. These results can explain victim blaming more as a self-defense mechanism than a callous act of judgment or misogyny. When you believe that victims are to blame for their assaults, you can ensure you won't make the same mistakes. I understand the thought process here—we want to believe the bad things that happen to others are their fault because we want to believe we have a disproportionate level of control over what happens to our persons—but it's still wrong. The fact that women are regarded as more vulnerable and exposed should be a cause for us to blame the people who assert their power over them unjustly, NOT the women themselves. This debate is one that boils down to a debate of agency: how much control do men have over their own actions? As a male feminist, I believe that men have a good degree of control over their actions, especially when it comes to their decision to rape somebody or not. Blaming the victim of rape implicitly suggests that men are incapable of exerting control over this particular decision, which is ridiculous. Victim-blamers point to different things in order to justify their mentality and one of the most popular is “She was drunk. She shouldn't have been drinking in such a place. She knew what could have happened!” Here's one of the worst examples of victim-blaming I've seen, which to my chagrin was written by a female Princeton student: Did she have the right to accuse the boy of rape? Before you say yes, think about this for a minute: Should the fact that she willingly got herself into an advanced state of inebriation prevent her from complaining about anything that happened to her while she was in that state? She knew what would happen if she started drinking. We all know that the more people drink, the less likely they are to make wise decisions. It is common sense. Therefore, the girl willingly got herself into a state in which she could not act rationally. This, in my opinion, is equivalent to agreeing to anything that might happen to her while in this state. In the case of our girl, this happened to be sex with a stranger. Sorry, but if you agree with this reasoning, there's something really wrong with you: inebriation in an environment with men implies consent to anything? That's disgusting. This view is probably more common than I would like, though the reasoning for it is usually not explicitly stated like it is here. But when it comes to rape involving the woman consuming alcohol, you see a lot of people focus on that factor, even though it was the man who perpetrated the rape. It reflects a mentality that views women as these delicate creatures who must take steps to avoid the autonomic impulses of men. On the contrary, the societal onus should be on men to not fucking rape, namely because the decision to rape or not is voluntary. Another factor that people point to is what the woman was wearing at the time of the rape. Obviously what the woman was wearing does not make her rape any more or less justifiable: it's unjustified regardless of what she was wearing. But this particular factor obfuscates the debate because it implies that rape is about lusting after a female body. Feminists know that rape is about power and can present evidence that it's not about lust or provocative behaviour: Myth: Rape victims provoke the attach by wearing provocative clothing * Most convicted rapists do not remember what their victims were wearing. * Victims range in age from days old to those in their nineties, hardly provocative dressers. * A Federal Commission on Crime of Violence Study found that only 4.4% of all reported rapes involved provocative behavior on the part of the victim. In murder cases 22% involved such behavior (as simple as a glance). This, and flirtatious behavior preceding the rape, are usually the excuses for remarks like “she had it coming”. But as with dressing provocatively, flirtatious behavior is not explicit consent to sex, nor is it justifiable grounds for blaming the victim of rape. Blaming the victim on a personal level also leads to unnecessary feelings of revictimization and contributes to a stigma that makes it hard for other victims to come forward. II. Addressing Attacks on the Last Diary My previous diary set off a firestorm of straw men and male apprehension at the notion that their gender is largely responsible for the problem. A few commenters pointed to male victims of rape in order to “distribute blame” and put an irrational focus on the false accusations of rape. On the subject of male victims of rape, either by male or female assailants, it is a horrible trauma regardless of who it happens to. But invoking male victims of rape to try and trivialize a systemic problem that overwhelmingly affects women is something I consider to be unconscionable and in effect also trivializes what male victims experienced. And yes, of the reported rape cases, women overwhelmingly make up the cases: 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape). 17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape. 9 of every 10 rape victims were female in 2003. Stating that fact though doesn't mean we have to treat male victims of rape in a trivialized fashion, but again, one shouldn't invoke male victims to make it look like it happens to both genders equally in an attempt “distribute blame.” …full article at link added by: animalia_libero