Tag Archives: figure-out-how

Joe Jonas is an Adele Singing Clown Because He Fucked Gigi Hadid’s Double Chin of the Day

Here’s a little Gigi Hadid and her wonky face….talking about being a rich kid with connections…allows you to become an “it girl”…as you can hang out with other rich kids and go to all the rich kid parties and do richc kid things….while brands are trying to figure out how to adapt to the market and reach young people…as young people watch these idiots, because I guess other than their money, they are terribly fucking average in all ways…so it gives the general population hope. Listening to Gigi Hadid, while watching her 20 year old chin waddle, rocking that deep voice…I remember that this girl is a fucking lie….and I understand why she’s gone the easy drop out of school route to exploit her tits and her self because it makes her feel validated… The fact that she’s the “face of a make-up brand”….but more importantly the pussy that the Jonas Brother’s shoved his purity ring inside before trying to pull it out with his dick…but that is no more, she can take her whoring to other places…because the couple they called GI JOE…is done…and no one over 20 cares… Here’s the Jonas Brother’s Doing a cover of Adele…dealing with the sadness of “I fucked this high maintenance rich kid, now I can go fuck groupies, because I am no longer pretending to be a virgin”…while Gigi deals with the remnants of Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Ashley Greene pussy in her pussy, because pussy… Here’s her VS acceptance speech – because it’s all she’s ever wanted growing up a rich kid with everything…one day maybe she’ll fake it til she makes it…and gets asked to walk…like she was Lily Aldrige… I prefer the immigrants.. The post Joe Jonas is an Adele Singing Clown Because He Fucked Gigi Hadid’s Double Chin of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Joe Jonas is an Adele Singing Clown Because He Fucked Gigi Hadid’s Double Chin of the Day

Daylight Saving Time 2015: IT’S OVER (Almost)!!!

Daylight Saving Time. It’s finally over, people. Almost. In just a few short hours from now, it will be time to turn the clocks back FOR GOOD. Or at least until March 2016 comes around. Tomorrow morning, it’s time to turn the clocks back, and for all you Americans looking forward to a long, dark winter, it’s a thing of beauty. Okay, that’s virtually no one. Whatever. Hey, at least you get an extra hour of sleep! Well, unless you have kids or pets who have no idea what’s up, in which chase, no you don’t. Anyway, Daylight Saving Time remains inherently confusing for some people, which is why is THG is here to break it down for all y’all: See helpful graphic above. BAM!! If that’s not sufficient, here’s a more detailed rundown of Daylight Saving Time 2015, and what to expect with Daylight Saving Time 2016: Daylight Saving Time began on Sunday, March 8 at 2 a.m. Time “springs” forward and “falls” back an hour (above). So your clocks ahead an hour before you go to bed. OR stay up until 2 a.m., turn the clocks to 1 a.m., then hit the sack. Your iPhone should do this automatically. Your oven? Nada. It will start getting dark at 4:30 on the East Coast now. Yay? The concept of Daylight Saving Time dates back to 1895. It was recently extended across the U.S. to save energy use. In 2016, Daylight Saving Time begins on Sunday, March 13. If you can’t figure out how to change the effing clock in your car, don’t worry. Make a mental (or Post-It) note that it’s fast until 3/3/16. Arizona, Hawaii and Puerto Rico residents: Disregard. There you go. You are officially prepared. Up top.

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Daylight Saving Time 2015: IT’S OVER (Almost)!!!

Daylight Saving Time 2015: IT’S OVER (Almost)!!!

Daylight Saving Time. It’s finally over, people. Almost. In just a few short hours from now, it will be time to turn the clocks back FOR GOOD. Or at least until March 2016 comes around. Tomorrow morning, it’s time to turn the clocks back, and for all you Americans looking forward to a long, dark winter, it’s a thing of beauty. Okay, that’s virtually no one. Whatever. Hey, at least you get an extra hour of sleep! Well, unless you have kids or pets who have no idea what’s up, in which chase, no you don’t. Anyway, Daylight Saving Time remains inherently confusing for some people, which is why is THG is here to break it down for all y’all: See helpful graphic above. BAM!! If that’s not sufficient, here’s a more detailed rundown of Daylight Saving Time 2015, and what to expect with Daylight Saving Time 2016: Daylight Saving Time began on Sunday, March 8 at 2 a.m. Time “springs” forward and “falls” back an hour (above). So your clocks ahead an hour before you go to bed. OR stay up until 2 a.m., turn the clocks to 1 a.m., then hit the sack. Your iPhone should do this automatically. Your oven? Nada. It will start getting dark at 4:30 on the East Coast now. Yay? The concept of Daylight Saving Time dates back to 1895. It was recently extended across the U.S. to save energy use. In 2016, Daylight Saving Time begins on Sunday, March 13. If you can’t figure out how to change the effing clock in your car, don’t worry. Make a mental (or Post-It) note that it’s fast until 3/3/16. Arizona, Hawaii and Puerto Rico residents: Disregard. There you go. You are officially prepared. Up top.

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Daylight Saving Time 2015: IT’S OVER (Almost)!!!

Pia Mia Perez Does Terry Richardson

I’ll probably never figure out how Terry Richardson manages to convince hotties like Pia Mia Perez here to do sexy photoshoots like this, but for some reason, I can’t. I mean, what’s the guy got that I don’t? You know, besides the respect of his peers, a studio that isn’t in his mom’s basement, and a camera that isn’t on his iPhone. I know, it just doesn’t make any sense to me either. Go figure.

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Pia Mia Perez Does Terry Richardson

Want To Date A Supermodel? Make Sure You’re Super Rich

All these years, I’ve been trying to crack the code and figure out how to convince one of these crazy-hot supermodels I’m always writing about to finally date me. And after seeing these pictures of mega-hottie Miranda Kerr with her billionaire boyfriend Evan Spiegel, aka the nerd behind Snapchat, I think I finally figured it out: you need to be filthy rich. That, or the guy’s got all Miranda’s private Snaps saved as blackmail. Either way, I wish I’d thought of it first. » view all 11 photos Photos: WENN.com Continue reading

The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video in a Bikini of the Day

I would say that Emily Ratajkowski has figured out that the more bikini pics she posts to social media…the more likes she’ll get…the more relevant she’ll remain… But as a girl who’s career is based on her getting naked in a music video, I’m pretty sure she’s realized that one…and that the last year has been her trying to figure out how to distance herself from being the naked big tits…like Kim K does with her sex tape…only with less public penetration…Emily Ratajkowski is a lady and only does that behind closed doors and her boyfriend’s back for jobs…I mean he was (rumored to be) Ben Affleck..right…that warrants a “Hall Pass”… As you fade into obscurity…you gotta bring back what works..and it works..because she’s got a great fucking body…that you don’t deserve to be looking at…but she’s getting paid thanks to you to looking at it…so I guess you do… All this to say…I still like looking at her….pics….she looks good….and that’s enough for me in this empty life I live… The post The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video in a Bikini of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video in a Bikini of the Day

Charlotte McKinney for Instagram of the Day

Charlotte McKinney is the Cart Before the Horse kind of girl, and not just because she looks like a horse…at least her face looks like a horse…because that’s what happens when you’re just huge natural tits that manipulate their way into the media… But what I mean by “Cart Before the Horse”…is that she got on TV, before doing anything in her career other than one campaign, at least when Joanna Krupa did it, she was 10 years into the struggle of being the titty model in men’s magazines… It’s like some miracle happened for this girl, everything moved so fast and she never worked hard enough to really matter more than her tits…and I guess that realization has happened and she’s trying to figure out how to stay in the media…because tits are easily replaced…just ask Kate Upton, who she replaced..for 5 minutes that her career has lasted. Well, it turns out that her instagram was “hacked”…and this is some of what happened…to make a move, so people will talk about her, and wonder if the pussy pic is hers or not, I don’t think it is, I just think this is making noise…to get noticed..or remembered..even though she just started and ended, a lot like everytime I have sex. The post Charlotte McKinney for Instagram of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Charlotte McKinney for Instagram of the Day

Elizabeth Hurley Busts Out Big Time For Charity

I’ve been doing posts on  Elizabeth Hurley  for years now, and I still haven’t managed to figure out how the ageless hottie can look just as good today as she did 10 years ago. Probably because I’m always too distracted by her killer cleavage to think about anything else. But this time, I’m finally going to get to the bottom of it, so here she is at a charity event showing off those perfect funbags of hers and… sorry, what were we talking about again? Whatever. Just enjoy. Photos: WENN.com Continue reading

Taylor Swift Works It At The Brit Awards

Yesterday it was the ELLE Style Awards , today it’s the Brit Awards in London. I’m telling you guys, Taylor Swift never turns down a gig. Not that I’m complaining or anything, because she looks as good as ever. And actually, that gives me a great idea. As you all know, I’ve been trying to catch Taylor’s leg show in person for years, with no luck. But if she won’t show for me, maybe she will for the first annual Tuna Awards. Hmm, now I just have to figure out how to fit a stage into my mom’s basement… » view all 11 photos Photos: WENN.com Continue reading

Elsa Hosk Hottest Photoshoot Ever!

I’m always jealous of professional photographers, because I still can’t quite manage to figure out how to get hot models to agree to pose for me. And this latest set from Elsa Hosk shot by David Bellemere are no different. I mean, seriously, how do you get a girl this smoking hot to get into a bikini for you without getting told off? I guess having a camera is a good place to start. And making sure your pants are around your waist instead of around your ankles. Other than that though, I’m still not sure what I’m doing wrong. » view all 14 photos

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Elsa Hosk Hottest Photoshoot Ever!