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Vice and sin are sexy. Character and virtue… not so much. Last week there was an article about sex on the first date: SURVEY: Sex On The First Date; Do You? It started me to thinking and reading all the comments. Have we just given in to what society has been selling us for the last 40 years. Sorry to say the Sexual Revolution came in and left us with one big mess. It has let those of us with virtue be scorned. Character is being erased. But where’s the line between them? What exactly is a virtue? Can it be taught? Are good, and bad, behavior hard-wired in us? Do we naturally need to experiment with every whim that crosses our fancy in order to determine who we are? You see less and less character as you watch grown women throw themselves away on National television. It’s become my new crusade to blow the lid off these half truths. I am no prude but we need to stop selling the lies. They are destroying our communities. It begins by stopping these three lies first. Lie #1- The Scriptures on sexual purity are outdated and archaic . “Those parts of the Bible aren’t relevant to today. Those things were when the people during that time got married when they were teens; so they didn’t have to struggle with sexual temptation like we do now.” 1 Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19, Hebrews 13:4 and Deuteronomy 22:13-28, all which condemn sex before marriage, If sex before marriage is okay because people supposedly can’t control themselves, then it must be okay to engage in pornography, too, right?. If scriptures in the Bible became untrue because people can’t control their desires, then we’d also have to cut out the commandments on stealing, lying, cheating and having affairs. Lie # 2- Sex produces intimacy that you need to build a relationship. Dr. Patricia Love, the author of The Truth About Love, writes that a feeling of intimacy is created by a “chemical cocktail” that is produced in the brain during sex and stays with each person for up to 24 hours after intercourse. On the flip side, having sex is no guarantee that the deep emotional intimacy that everyone longs for will develop. “Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion. True intimacy is built on a commitment to honesty, love and freedom. True intimacy is not primarily a sexual encounter. Intimacy, in fact, has almost nothing to do with our sex organs. A prostitute may expose her body, but her relationships are hardly intimate.” Lie # 3 – Sex can help you determine compatibility? Many people feel it is unreasonable to expect him to abstain from sex before marriage because no one would buy a car without test driving it; so he couldn’t imagine committing to marriage without taking a “sex test drive.” The “test drive” mentality could lead you to unreal expectations and the lack of commitment. Many say that is untrue. However, the logic is faulty. Here’s why: If it was true that a person wouldn’t struggle with comparison, why would you need to “test drive” anything? After all, if you didn’t ever have multiple partners, you would automatically think his wife the best. For example, the man who hasn’t ever seen or driven more than one car doesn’t know what other cars are like; therefore he would be satisfied with his automobile. Partners can also feel threatened if they think their mate could be comparing them with previous partners. The reality is that we live in a dangerous damaged world. Each day we are fed more and more lies that allow us to lower are standards. How far are you willing to lower yours to feel like everyone else? It is time we rethought all the things we have been sold as truth. Why must any more of us suffer from “is she better, or is she great disease”? But it can be hard to truly gauge the potential depth of a sexual connection when there’s uncertainty or pressure involved. Fact is, sex is the place where all the separate parts of us – our bodies and souls, our vulnerabilities and most secret desires, our ability to create physical and spiritual life – come together. And it’s within the freedom of a commitment that these things can best be acknowledged, explored, and given space to run wild. Otherwise we are just falling short of what we could have. Related Stories How to Begin Crafting A New You The Borgias Marries Sex, Worship and Lies Minute Meditation:Prayer to Accept Change An Open Letter To A “Basketball Wife” [Opinion] Is It Beauty, Brains, Or Both?
