I think Amanda Bynes is great….whether she’s causing scandal crying for help…like a broken down child star who had no childhood but who is now rebelling….whether with drugs, alcohol or slutty pics….to her going through an identity crisis and trying to make herself into a light skinned black girl….all counter culture and hip hop…ready to join a twerk team and speak in ebonics….she’s just a mess I want to get involved with…ideally with my genitals.
I normally find Nina Agdal looks like a waterhead…you know a real down syndromer…the kind of girl who should be wearing a hockey helmet around at the grocery story…and a pair of mittens so that she doesn’t start masturbating like a freak in public as most retarded people do…because they really aren’t retarded at all…but more advanced then us…proven by their massive alien heads…that in turn know if they play dumb…they will be cared for, get preferential parking, and most importantly can get away with saying mean shit in public, inappropriate shit in publc, pulling their genitals out in public, and grabbing at unsuspecting girl titties in public…being like “it’s okay I’m a retard…no no a legit retard…I am allowed to do this”… But these pictures are different…her tits…her body…totally distracting and awesome….she should dress like this more often…and I am sure she will…you know with being a bikini model and all…bikinis iskinda her thing…
This is Kate Upton in some campaign called “Accessorize” when really the only accessory she needs, has used, and now relies on, is her tits…they are the only thing that matter of hers….and You know what…tits or not….I hate Kate Upton..and I know I hate a lot of things…and my hate is no taken seriously at all…cuz when you hate everything inconsistently….it’s as annoying as when you like everything inconsistently…and we all know how bad we want to punch most overly positive people in the genitals…but in all my years of hating one girl, then liking her, then hating her, I can safely Kate Upton doesn’t deserve the success she’s had, she’s built like a Walmart clerk who just hasn’t finished puberty yet, but who as soon as she does, will fucking explode into some swollen ankle, diabetic, hormonally imbalanced freak. She is the babe from highschool you see 5 years later with 3 kids and a fucking motorized scooter for handicap people to get through the grocery store without having a heart attack…she is like my fucking wife…misleading as hell and it is cuz obesity starts in the tits…but all her hype makes everyone jump on her bandwagon…but I know…they know what I know…and that is that she’s the fucking worst…even if miss piggy sells product….
This is Kate Upton in some campaign called “Accessorize” when really the only accessory she needs, has used, and now relies on, is her tits…they are the only thing that matter of hers….and You know what…tits or not….I hate Kate Upton..and I know I hate a lot of things…and my hate is no taken seriously at all…cuz when you hate everything inconsistently….it’s as annoying as when you like everything inconsistently…and we all know how bad we want to punch most overly positive people in the genitals…but in all my years of hating one girl, then liking her, then hating her, I can safely Kate Upton doesn’t deserve the success she’s had, she’s built like a Walmart clerk who just hasn’t finished puberty yet, but who as soon as she does, will fucking explode into some swollen ankle, diabetic, hormonally imbalanced freak. She is the babe from highschool you see 5 years later with 3 kids and a fucking motorized scooter for handicap people to get through the grocery store without having a heart attack…she is like my fucking wife…misleading as hell and it is cuz obesity starts in the tits…but all her hype makes everyone jump on her bandwagon…but I know…they know what I know…and that is that she’s the fucking worst…even if miss piggy sells product….
I don’t know what is worse…Judge Judy in a bikini…or the fact that I am masturbating to it… This is from a recent appearance of Judge Judy on Katie Couric’s show…but it doesn’t matter why it happened…it just matters that it happened…. I would love to rub that dried up, loosed skin, menopause all over my face…but maybe that’s just cuz she annoys me so much on TV…with her attitude…that I want to punish her with a fine in the form of my genitals….
Lady in fucking red…holy shit….turns out that I am down with any alcohol company who doesn’t advertise on this site because they are snobs and too busy spending 100s of thousands of dollars on Penelope Cruz, the Oscar winning Spanish actress you may or may not have heard of, but have probably seen her fucking nose, at some point or another….because that’s the signature feature that she’s helped big nosed women come to terms with over the years….as the media told us she was beautiful… I know this cuz I used to fuck a girl with a big fucking nose…I’m talking offensively big…and she was convinced she looked like Penelope Cruz….when really…she looked like a girl with a big fucking nose…but that didn’t stop her from getting with the likes of me…when really she should have been with far less attractive men…but Penelope Cruz got her through it…like she is getting through me…with this hot…red…glamour shoot for Campari…. I want to dirty up this high quality, high production loveliness with my genitals….and she is not even naked or not a 40 year old mom….
People hate on Cindy Crawford every time I post on how amazing she is…but I have seen her in person…and it turns out that she’s fucking amazing…we exchanged smiles…made eye contact…as she entered her hotel years ago….and probably thought I was a homeless guy…or someone with downs syndrome down on his luck who needed a little pick me up…when in reality…all I needed was for her to sit on my face… That said…she’s in December’s Shape…and I love her….even though historically…I hate old bitches….
I’m done MOURNING HIS FAKE RELATIONSHIP WITH SELENA GOMEZ The latest in Beiber fake relationships because has to be gay….is that his new girlfriend is the 18 year old young blood Victoria’s Secret is trying to make famous…. Barbara Palvin …. Now, I’ve been following her instagram for a few months now…and prior to her becoming a huge fucking deal…back when she only had one VS shoot in her garter belt…she was posting non stop pics of her and her little local BF…who I guess was her high school sweetheart…but like all fame whores who become famous…you gotta leave that in the past…and jump on opportunities like banging your favorite pop star now that you have access…and the whole thing is all controlled by their management cuz they all want as much exposure as possible…when all I want is for her to expose more of her genitals… It is all lies…bullshit…and it doesn’t matter…its’ just another excuse to post a bikini and lingerie model in her teens…cuz I don’t care who she is fucking for fame….or cuz of her model fame…I just care that she’s fucking….
Disney bought Lucas Films for 4 billion dollars because George Lucas wasn’t rich enough to begin with…and they are releasing a bunch of new movies for all you Star Wars nerds…but you don’t need me to tell you that…you’ve probably been masturbating to it the last 24 hours…. Here’s a trailer for Episode 7…..it is exactly what you’d expect…. So now all you Star Wars nerds may end up getting slamming your genitals raw into raw…you know grinding that shit off…
Unfortunately…I saw the first 5 minutes of the MTV Movie Awards…that were as interesting as an hour long commercial for every movie made last year targeted at 16 year olds could be. Russell Brand wasn’t funny….if anything he was annoying and people in the audience…even the people paid to be in the audience didn’t even laugh as his miserable jokes… The highlight of the first 5 minutes of the MTV Movie awards….were when Mila Kunis walked out, someone yelled at her, probably that she looks fucking fat as shit, all bloated as fuck….only to have Marky Mark and the funky bunch, who thinks he is a tough guy cuz he trains for shitty movies where he plays a boxer….to step up and threaten him….in what was not even dramatic enough to be interesting, unless you are like me, and wish you had he opportunity to heckle Mila Kunis…ideally with my genitals and her mouth…cuz fat or not…I’d still celebrate National Donut Day, 3 days late, only clit.
