Sasha Cohen is some Olympic figure skater who loves being in her bikini. This time she’s spiced it up with some YOGA poses in her bikini. Which is convenient, cuz I’ve been masturbating to Yoga girls on Instagram for the last month. It is my new hardcore porn, because there’s something nice about a contained body in spandex doing poses that are unnatural but amazing…especially when fantasizing about fucking them in that pose… So like this was figure skating on a Sunday when hungover, with all the panty flashing, camel toe and athleiticism, and I’d be willing to jerk off to it…fit, tight, bendy….awesome. Time to join the Yoga for the health benefits, but more importantly to stare at farting, tight asses.
The surf might be up for Taylor Swift. According to Life & Style sources, the singer is “falling fast” for John John Lawrence, a native of Hawaii and a professional surfer. Swift, who has embarked on her Red tour and has not been linked to a love interest in weeks, went out of her way to contact Florence, the tabloid alleges, and the two have been “text-messaging” for a couple weeks. Just how serious is the relationship? Not very, the source says: “I don’t think they’ve hung out yet. They’ve just been chatting.” Expect that to change soon, however, Taylor is afraid of ending up alone in a bathtub and is unafraid to admit she is looking for love.
I used to hate this Audrina Patridge chick. You know, when she had a job on a hit show and thought she was at the top of her game. She was overexposed in all kinds of magazines, turning down Playboy offers despite her fake tits, because she though that it was only going to get better for her… But now that it hasn’t, seeing her unemployed and paying the paparazzi to follow her on the beach, cuz she still has a hot body, all in efforts to have one more go at things, is almost desperate and depressing and that’s an aphrodisiac for me…especially since she’s got a hot body. I guess this post is a little reminder to us all that she lives….not that we care. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
I used to hate this Audrina Patridge chick. You know, when she had a job on a hit show and thought she was at the top of her game. She was overexposed in all kinds of magazines, turning down Playboy offers despite her fake tits, because she though that it was only going to get better for her… But now that it hasn’t, seeing her unemployed and paying the paparazzi to follow her on the beach, cuz she still has a hot body, all in efforts to have one more go at things, is almost desperate and depressing and that’s an aphrodisiac for me…especially since she’s got a hot body. I guess this post is a little reminder to us all that she lives….not that we care. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
Barbara Palvin is the 18 year old Hungarian model who is signed to Victoria’s Secret like some kind of sex worker who just turned legal and was sold off to the suitor with the deepest pockets, but luckily her contract isn’t exclusive, and she gets to venture out into fashion and explore editorial shots like this one, that speaks to me, because she looks like either some gutter street kid under the bridge after a punk show, willing to suck dick for some heroin….and a trailer park, white trash wife who strips and sucks dick to pay for the cans of soup for the kids she neglects at home, and both are fetishes of mine…making this a winning fucking shoot! To See Some Pics of Barbara Palvin At Australia Fashion Week – That Aren’t As Hot as her Crackwhore for Fashion Look – But Still Hot FOLLOW THIS LINK
Barbara Palvin is the 18 year old Hungarian model who is signed to Victoria’s Secret like some kind of sex worker who just turned legal and was sold off to the suitor with the deepest pockets, but luckily her contract isn’t exclusive, and she gets to venture out into fashion and explore editorial shots like this one, that speaks to me, because she looks like either some gutter street kid under the bridge after a punk show, willing to suck dick for some heroin….and a trailer park, white trash wife who strips and sucks dick to pay for the cans of soup for the kids she neglects at home, and both are fetishes of mine…making this a winning fucking shoot! To See Some Pics of Barbara Palvin At Australia Fashion Week – That Aren’t As Hot as her Crackwhore for Fashion Look – But Still Hot FOLLOW THIS LINK
Lindsay Lohan? Not thrilled to be posing for a new mug shot apparently. The star was booked today by the Santa Monica, Calif., Police Department, after pleading no contest to reckless driving and lying to a police officer. Behold, the latest in a LONG line of Lindsay Lohan booking photos: Even though Lindsay Lohan’s plea deal allowed her to escape jail (she’s off to rehab soon), it required to appear within seven days to be processed. Which she duly did, after hitting up nightclubs Monday night obvi. Sexy makeup? Check. Disheveled, hot mess hair? Check. Meticulously groomed eyebrows? Oh yeah. Fatigued, hung over, strung-out, rage-filled b!tch-stare? Legendary. Compare it to some of her past modeling work:
I watched this on mute, so that is probably way I don’t want to phusically remove her from my computer screen via her fake hair, fake tits…you know a cunt punch straight through my computer screen…. So my perspective is just tight bodied busty girl who pretends she’s 18, cooking, without all her nonsense jokes….and that’s a good thing…possibly even a fetish…cuz girls cooking, now that they are all independent and shit, is pretty much fantasy, especially where I live. Ridiculous, looking good, I appreciate her hustle. It’s a lot of fun….and my pug liked it too. What a horrible, unhealthy, disgusting meal…but when made by a haggard stripper on a quest for fame…I would love to eat it…. TO SEE HER DOING HER BIKINI CAR WASH FOLLOW THIS LINK Videos Mexican Weather Girl Cameltoe of the Day In Mexican weather girl news, here is a clip from one of our finest, even if I haven’t been to Mexico in 4 decades, I’m still fucking Mexican people, showing her camel toe on the job. I figure it’s just typical Mexican vagina behavior, you know hungry for tight pants, while waiting to be off the air to fill the void with semen, in efforts to have 15 kids to make the new pope proud. They start young, they keep it Catholic, but at least they give us a glimpse into their vaginas world, before it is too late and they are too fat to bother with. Making me a fan of this thickness and her pussy lips.
In Mexican weather girl news, here is a clip from one of our finest, even if I haven’t been to Mexico in 4 decades, I’m still fucking Mexican people, showing her camel toe on the job. I figure it’s just typical Mexican vagina behavior, you know hungry for tight pants, while waiting to be off the air to fill the void with semen, in efforts to have 15 kids to make the new pope proud. They start young, they keep it Catholic, but at least they give us a glimpse into their vaginas world, before it is too late and they are too fat to bother with. Making me a fan of this thickness and her pussy lips.
So in case you blacked out early or you’re still too hungover to remember what happened, it was St. Patty’s Day two days ago. And to celebrate, Playboy Playmates Valerie Mason , Kelley Thompson , Leola Bell and Rainy Day hosted a St. Patrick’s Day party at Tabu nightclub in Las Vegas — which I guarantee was 20x better than whatever Irish pub you stumbled into the other day. I just have one question though: where are the painted-on green bikinis? This isn’t very festive. » view all 13 photos Photos: WENN.com
