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THG Week in Review: April 3-9, 2010

Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip’s Week in Review. Here our staff reflects on the past seven days in Hollywood gossip, celebrity news and rumors. Highlights from April 3-9 include … Dr. Conrad Murray’s defense in the Michael Jackson case will be that the singer killed himself by injecting a lethal dose of Propofol while Murray left the room. Conrad plans to attack the cops’ MJ’s evidence on multiple fronts . Tiger Woods’ return to golf at The Masters featured a couple of good rounds (so far), a controversial new Nike ad , some funny banners, and a new mistress (from long ago, but just revealed) by the name of Raychel Coudriet . Kate Gosselin made headlines for another bad effort on Dancing with the Stars (she was not eliminated, though Tony Dovolani wants her gone), a new reality show , as well as a brewing custody lawsuit from d-bag Jon Gosselin. Someone with a plane and too much free time rips Tiger Woods. Former NFL star Tiki Barber split with his wife Ginny following an affair with Traci Lynn Johnson , an intern he had an affair with for two years. Bruce Bereford-Redman, a former producer on Survivor , was detained in the death of his wife . An extramarital affair he had may be related. Nicolette Sheridan is suing Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry for assault , battery, gender discrimination and wrongful termination. Ann Kelly alleges a scandalous affair with Bruce Springsteen. Roseanne Barr decided she’d slam the Catholic Church. Say it ain’t so, guys! He hates parents, but the planet belongs to Justin Bieber . Word has it these guys may have considerable endowments. American Idol shockingly ousted, then saved Michael Lynche . Is Lin Yu Chun the next Susan Boyle? The Taiwanese one? Robert Pattinson may portray the late rocker Kurt Cobain. Sarah Palin is goin’ rogue, and nuclear , on the President. Michael Lohan. Kate Major. Gross. Couple news: Rihanna and Matt Kemp are officially dating, as are Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne; Gerard Butler may be dating Laurie Chelowa ; Jennifer Love Hewitt’s new victim may be John Asher ; Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy have broken up; A pair of Gossip Girl couples reportedly split. Wedding and baby news: Elizabeth Taylor is engaged to Jason Winters , who will be her ninth husband; Diablo Cody is married and pregnant; Michael Lohan and Kate Major just got engaged and are already looking to procreate so hard . Robin Thicke and Paula Patton welcomed a son. Don’t forget to follow The Hollywood Gossip on Twitter for all the latest news, celebrity gossip, rumors, commentary and humor as it happens, 24/7/365!

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THG Week in Review: April 3-9, 2010

Jennifer Love Hewitt Reminds Us That Fat Chicks Like Their Shoes of the Day

There is a study that fatter girls are hooked on buying shoes because it is the one thing on their body that doesn’t change sizes. It’s like if bitch is a size 7 in high school, she’s usually gonna be a size 7 in her 40s, even if her pantsize has gone from a size 0 to a “I wear elastic waistband pants I buy at the fat chick store cuz they don’t make shit in my size anymore”, like my wife. So they go shopping for shoes cuz other than eating buffets, it is the only way they feel good about themselves when shopping and here are some pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt showing off her shoes, the only thing she’s got left, you know now that she’s on her way back to obesity. Pics via PacificCoastNews

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Reminds Us That Fat Chicks Like Their Shoes of the Day

Pap Idol: Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt went from party of two, to party of one… But that hasn’t stopped the star from hitting up the town to promote her new self-help book, “The Day I Shot Cupid.” J.Love cut her long locks and has been spotted on the circuit in everything from basic black to bright pink. So cute and casual… She’ll always be our girl next door! Related Links: J. Love Denies Breakup Haircut

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Pap Idol: Jennifer Love Hewitt

J. Loves Yoga, Ice Cream And Her Own Book

Jennifer Love Hewitt reveals how she gets over a guy. “Yoga, 72 hours of ice cream… it’s all good!” Well, we guess one balances out the other. The 31-year-old actress, who recently split with her Ghost Whisperer co-star Jamie Kennedy after dating for twelve months, didn’t pass up the opportunity to plug her new self-help book, “The Day I Shot Cupid.” Adding: “I’m reading my own book! I wrote it just in time.” Funny how it works out like that, isn’t it? Related Links: J. Love Denies Breakup Haircut

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J. Loves Yoga, Ice Cream And Her Own Book

Jennifer Love Hewitt: I’ll Be Okay!

Following a couple major, recent events in her life, Jennifer Love Hewitt is minus one boyfriend and a lot of hair . Soon after her break-up with Jaime Kennedy, the actress chopped off many inches of her locks, likely in an attempt to start anew. However, a bit of weird timing will make that difficult: Hewitt’s relationship-themed book, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m a Love-aholic , went on sale today. “It’s not the ideal situation, but the thing I’m really happy about is that I never say in the book that I know how to find perfect love or how to be in the perfect relationship,” she told USA Today . “I’m thrust back into the dating world as the book is coming out, so I feel more than ever that people will know I’m kind of with them in the trenches.” Despite break-ups with John Mayer, Carson Daly, Ross McCall and now Kennedy, JLH isn’t through hoping for the best: “I’m a hopeless romantic. I love love. My middle name is Love. Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. I want to have a family and children. I am a sucker for every romantic comedy that comes out.” We’ll assume she means every romantic comedy except The Ugly Truth . “You can allow yourself 72 hours of wallowing time,” the actress says. “Then you’ve got to get into the gym, stop eating the ice cream and move on.” Or you could grieve will fellow recent dumpee Kim Kardashian, preferably by prancing around topless on video. Just sayin.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt: I’ll Be Okay!

Jenni Farley Because She’s Top Heavy

I’m pretty ashamed of myself for giving this useless Jersey Shore chick Jenni Farley any attention, but her boobs are absolutely massive and I can’t look away. It’s a good thing I can’t look away from her tits because word on the street is that her face is pretty busted. Those things are like a couple of boxing speed bags, I just want to punch them…. With my testicles. Have fun. Remember, don’t look at her face.

Amazing Fat Chick Story of the Day

Here’s a 550 pound woman getting paid to hit 1000 pounds. She’s some idiot who thinks there are no health risks to being a fucking pig of a woman but more importantly, she’s pretty much an internet pornstar who takes pictures of herself in her panties and people pay to see the shit. Now she’s addicted to the fame like she was Lindsay Lohan and now she’s trying to get more attention and her fans are sending her food to make her fucking fatter. I am married to a fat chick, it’s a disgusting fucking thing that I write about daily, so I will never understand the fetish, but can only assume her fans are black dudes….

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Amazing Fat Chick Story of the Day

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Getting Fat Again of the Day

Jennifer Love Hewitt is playing with fire. She recently broke up with Jamie Kennedy Experiment and now she’s out getting fried chicken or whatever kind of chicken this chicken place serves cuz I know isn’t skinless chicken in a low fat salad chicken…She came so far in her happiness with Jamie Kennedy Experiment…he put her to work because I guess he was a fan and she shed the pounds and started looking more like her small-headed busty on a skinny frame self, but now they’ve split and she’s hit the fast food to eat her emotions…and shit’s a real tragedy. I really thought she had another run in her, another chance to get jerked off too, but I guess people are just gonna have to stick with the blue tank top in Can’t Hardly Wait, since it’s done. On a sidenote, Jamie Kennedy was in Montreal for the comedy festival a few years ago and I know at least 4 girls who were his groupie and hooked up with him and I couldn’t really understand why, dude’s so second rate, but it turns out if a motherfucker is on TV that’s all it takes to get pussy…so if you’re smart, you’ll start going to auditions for TV commercials looking for useless, fat, virgins who smell like cum, cuz even that will be enough to get a girl wet, she just has to notice you. Remember that and remember I always give the good advice…. Pics via Fame

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Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Getting Fat Again of the Day

Amanda Seyfried Is Not A Very Good Flasher

Here’s Amanda Seyfried trying to show off her potential, by potential I mean boobies, by flashing the paparazzi the other night in her blue dress. It’s not working. As uncomfortable as it is for me to admit this, I’ve seen my fair share of flashers over the years, apparently a lot of sex offenders lived in my neighborhood, but this is not how you go about it. First of all the trench coat should be an ugly shade of shit brown, you should be wearing nothing but a pair of black socks and some dress shoes and you’re supposed to at least give me a heads up by asking for the time. Amateur. Although, the fact that she doesn’t have a penis is a big plus.

Party Of One…

We spotted newly single Jennifer Love Hewitt making a Koo Koo Roo run in Toluca Lake.