The fact that Hayden Panettiere has this weird cult following of virgin fan boys is weird to me, but not as weird as when I visualize her getting fucked by her 6 foot 6 boxing champion boyfriend, who could have a mico-penis, making it a comical clown car experience, something Hayden the circus freak is probably used to, but who could just easily have a massive cock that breaks her in half, reminding her of a time when her mom used her in a sex ring as a child, the way her vagina likes it. Well, turns out they are getting married…because that’s what people do for some weird reason I’ll never understand, much like how I will never understand how Hayden has a fan base. BUT I FIGURED I’D USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO POST MY HAYDEN PANETTIERE ARCHIVE OF BIKINIS, BRAS, MIDGET JOKES I like making things about myself like that….
I don’t watch TV, so this Aubrey Plaze, from Parks and Recreation is foreign to me….it is not that I don’t understand who she is when she’s talking to me about how much I owe her for beer at the corner store….but that I’ve just never heard of her…. She is apparently some funny girl, something I can’t stand, because I guess I am sexist in the comedy I laugh at, and feel girls aren’t meant to be funny, but instead are meant to laugh at my jokes, and by joke I mean dick, and by laugh I mean while sucking it…. She’s been in some movies, her photoshoot isn’t all that sleazy, but I am sure some of you creeps will masturbate to it just fine, cuz clothed girls with skinny legs being silly is your porn… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima, a couple Brazilian old timers…have come together, yet again, thanks to the management at Victoria’s Secret…who think it is funny to listen to their Portuguese banter on set….or maybe they just like the way their South American asses compliment each other….but whatever the reason it’s all keep all those pesky white girls out of this one…today is fisherman friday….right…cuz all portuguese speaking people are fishermen…even then Brazilian ones….right? And all South Africans have AIDS thanks to losing their virginity to the black farmhand and/or blood diamond. And all the Eastern European ones are communists. And all the Americans get paid too much cuz they already have their citizenship and don’t need to eat shit for a greencard… Whatever the reason behind this glorious union….shit remains a glorious union….of ass TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
Chrissy Teigan is my best friend on social media….and I even signed up to her food blog…because that’s just how tight we are….you see I write her insanity about being a gold digger cuz she’s marrying some Grammy award winning piano playing singer….and she ignores me…but once said something about loving the site…because let’s face it…everyone does….even if she ignores me every time I reach out…. I just assume it’s like we’re an old married couple who have never met..I talk, she ignores…I masturbate to other girls…but still follow her shit…cuz I feel obligated…even if her jokes aren’t that funny…and her focus should be spent on getting naked….something she finally delivered on today…..cuz she posted a pic of her mixed race ass gold digging wannabe comedian ass getting a spray tan…and sharing said spray tan with her followers…cuz she’s open about her life like that…and because she more importantly….she loves any and all attention…that’s what happens to girls who only do SI…but never make the cover of SI….they work harder on building their own brand….which is made easier when financed by some dude she groupied right. Who cares….oh right…I do….she’s lovely….
Two weeks after carrying home the big prizes from the Critics’ Choice and Golden Globe Awards , Argo firmly established its Oscar front-runner status with another one-two punch in the form of the PGA’s Motion Picture Producer of the Year honor and the SAG Award for Outstanding Performance by a Cast. And in a season of confusion and contradiction, that front-runner status gives Argo traction that none of its Best-Picture rivals have. The PGA win was not a surprise, especially after Argo ’s strong showing with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Content-wise, it’s the type of film that charms producers, being a taut political thriller 65% of the time and a stack of insider Hollywood jokes the other 35%. Apart from that, you have The Affleck, and the time has come to love and praise The Affleck . Rejuvenated and relevant again, Ben Affleck is this year’s Oscar story. When the nominations came out, who was the “snubbed” director? It wasn’t Kathryn Bigelow , Paul Thomas Anderson , or Wes Anderson , the three directors whose films appeared on the most end-of-year lists. It was The Affleck, and within 72 hours, The Affleck was redeemed with populist awards broadcast live on the CW and NBC, making Argo the People’s Film and Affleck the Oscar story of the year. For Best Picture prognostication, the PGA Award is a major get. Since it was started in 1989, the Producers Guild has awarded the eventual Best Picture Oscar winner nearly 70 percent of the time, and has been perfect over the past 5 years. Additionally, the PGA uses a preferential ballot just as the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has done since 2009. What this means is that Argo and Affleck do not need to top all ballots, they just need to be agreed upon by most ballots. I don’t have scientific findings to present here, but think about the conversations you’ve had about the Best Picture nominees: Lincoln , Les Misérables, Django Unchained , and Silver Linings Playbook are much more polarizing than the crowd-pleasing Argo . For what it’s worth, Argo also has the highest Rotten Tomatoes score of all the nominees, 96, followed by Zero Dark Thirty , 93, and Amour , 92. The movie’s SAG win was more of a surprise. Argo is not an Actor’s Movie. This is not to say the award was not earned, simply that most of the attention was divided between the flashy Les Mis and the kitchen sink acting of Silver Linings Playbook . But there’s that word: “divided.” The Screen Actors Guild is a massive organization of nearly 160,000 members (though only current on dues are eligible to vote), so while theater types might have leaned toward Les Mis and classically-trained types might have opted for Silver Linings or Lincoln , the one film the Guild ended up agreeing on was Argo and its Affleck-led cast. It was, in a word, the most popular. (Keeping with the populist theme, note how the SAG Awards are the only guild awards that appear on billboards). SAG has a terrible track record with Best Picture. The two top awards aligned less than half of the time since SAG started their awards in 1995. But this is a season when stats mean less than they would normally. The film with the most Oscar nominations is no longer the film to beat. Harvey Weinstein , who put Affleck on the Oscar map with the 1997 movie Goodwill Hunting, is fighting an uphill battle. There’s a legitimate front-runner in town, and it does not have the director’s nomination assumed necessary. (And I’m not talking about Django Unchained .) This season, the Best Picture race is all about tone and attitude, and Argo and its affable director are all about tone and attitude. Affleck is an A-lister once again, charming every room he enters — his jokes won the room at the PGA breakfast Saturday morning — and his film’s recent run of awards-season honors have made its Best Picture prospects impossible to ignore. After months of having several films on the radar, there is finally one at the center of it. John Hendel is a playwright from Los Angeles. Follow John Hendel on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
I’ve noted this a few times now, but of all the jokes that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler told during their killer Golden Globes performance , the one that resonated most with me was their jab at Avatar director James Cameron : “I haven’t been following the controversy surrounding Zero Dark Thirty , ” Poehler said name-checking director Kathryn Bigelow . “But when it comes to torture, I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron.” I loved the joke because it was daring — a tough one to pull off in an industry crowd that tends to protect its own even when they may despise that person behind his back. ( Jessica Chastain’s televised gasp said volumes.) Poehler pulled it off beautifully and, in an interview that was posted on Friday in The Huffington Post , she finally revealed the author of the joke. The Parks and Recreation actress and her series co-star and Adam Scott t alked to the site about the movie that they premiered at Sundance, A.C.O.D ., which stands for Adult Children of Divorce, and in the process, Poehler revealed that the Cameron line was the work of 30 Rock writer Sam Means . Here’s the excerpt that appears on HuffPo. You did a great job co-hosting the Golden Globes. Scott: Didn’t she? Poehler: Thank you. I do feel that you may have been taken off the short list for “Avatar 2.” Poehler: [Laughs.] Perhaps! Perhaps. Not just with the James Cameron joke, but anytime you do a joke like that, can there be repercussion? Or do people take that in stride? Poehler: I hope so. There was nothing in that moment that we walked away from feeling bad about. There was never a moment that we walked away going, “Was that too … ” You know, we vetted our own jokes with each other. Tina and I have had a lot of experience doing those kind of jokes, so we know when things feel too “something.” That room was a special kind of room, so we had to think about how to play to that room. So, we didn’t regret anything that we had said or felt like we were coming in a weird way. And if it’s funny, you can get away with a lot, hopefully. Scott: And I was saying before, James Cameron … even he has to appreciate what a beautifully crafted joke that was. Poehler: Written by a gentleman named Sam Means — a writer for “30 Rock.” He wrote that joke. I’m assuming there was no hesitation when you heard that joke. Poehler: Oh, no. It’s a great joke. Good work, Mr. Means. Now, if you happen to notice a non-descript black van following you, here’s a little advice: run. Read More of Movieline’s Golden Globes Coverage: Do The Tommy Lee Jones! 5 Top Golden Globe Moments WATCH: The Best Of Tina Fey & Amy Poehler’s Golden Globes Performance [ Huffington Post ] Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
Emily VanCamp is as glamorous – and devious – as they come on Revenge Season 2 . In real life, the beautiful 26-year-old Canadian actress seems like anything but. “When I take off my makeup, that’s my boyfriend’s favorite,” she tells Women’s Health . “To me, that’s a symbol of a great guy – someone who doesn’t care about [glamorous] stuff.” Her boyfriend, of course, is co-star Josh Bowman, with whom she recently went on a fishing trip in his native England with his father. How’d that go? “I was there in my baseball cap and these crappy fishing clothes,” she explains. “And I remember thinking, this is when I feel 100 percent comfortable – in these dirty clothes with fish guts all over them. I know it probably sounds horrendous.” “I’m at my most confident when I’m in nature and I don’t have to dress up.” When it comes to relationships, she says it’s all about effort and balance. “It’s more about accepting each other as separate people,” she says. “Laugh a lot and be really delicate with the other person’s heart, because sometimes you start to take each other for granted. Always remember, neither of you needs to be there.” “I also like to reflect,” she says. “I need that sort of peace and quiet. It’s something my friends and I laugh about: ‘Oh, Emily’s having a night to herself.’ It centers me.” Check out more Emily VanCamp photos below!
Lindsay Lohan was absolutely destroyed in the original screenplay for Scary Movie 5, although it’s anyone’s guess what material makes the final cut. The working script was obtained by TMZ and boy, are there a lot of jokes at Lindsay’s expense … even her buddy Charlie Sheen gets in on the act. We start it off with them in bed making a sex tape, until she says, “Okay let’s do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning … It’s a driving mishap thing.” “Promise me you won’t drive,” he urges. “That’s very sweet, worrying about me behind the wheel,” she replies. “I’m worried about me. I’m a pedestrian,” Sheen counters. BAM! Oh, and it continues … As they get it on, Charlie keeps being thwarted – first by her sobriety monitor, then her house arrest anklet … then a dog shock collar for orgasm help. At another point, Lindsay SCREAMS in abject terror, but not because of any deranged killer … she’s just watching her own film Herbie: Fully Loaded . In the trailer, this is already changed – to news coverage of her probation being revoked. The jokes go on and on until at one point, Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, “You were driving.” In light of Lindsay’s probation being revoked for lying to police, which could land her in jail for eight months , that must hit pretty close to home. It’s also pretty hilarious. Remember, this movie news is based on the working script, so the trailer may or may not be reflective of the jokes that make the final, theatrical cut.
Really digging the fact she’s not comfortable in front of the camera and not an attention slore… Karrueche Tran (Breezy’s Pooh) Jokes It Up With Interviewer For L.A. Fashion Week Out In Hollyweird youtube blacktreemedia
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