The Saturday Night Live cupboard just got a bit more bare. With Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg already out , and Jason Sudeikis also considering an exit, Splitsider confirms that Abby Elliott will not return for Season 38 of the iconic sketch show. Elliott joined the cast in 2008. She is responsible for such hilarious impressions as Angelina Jolie, Rachael Maddow, Anna Faris, Meryl Streep and Khloe Kardashian . The comedian also cracked us up last season in Quirky Girl With Zooey Deschanel (above). We’ll miss her.
Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to Penelope Scotland Disick on July 8. Us Weekly has photos of the one-month old to prove it. But apparently the love and joy of having a second child – along with the six figures she raked in for posing with Penelope on the cover of a tabloid – aren’t enough for Kourtney. She says she may share the event with the world. Yes, we’re serious… If you think this photo of Kourtney Kardashian is wild… “We haven’t decided if we’ll show this birth on TV,” Kardashian says in that same issue of Us Weekly . “But Scott taped footage, and some other people were recording too.” Would E! really let this happen? Would viewers want it to happen? Try to hold down your lunch and sound off now: Would you watch Kourtney Kardashian give birth?
David Rakoff, an award-winning author best known for his dark humor and cynical outlook on life, passed away today after a long battle with cancer. He was 47. Rakoff wrote for The New York Times and Newsweek , among other publications, and his essay collection “Half Empty” won the Thurber Prize for American Humor. He also penned the bestselling books “Don’t Get Too Comfortable” and “Fraud.” Rakoff’s death was confirmed by Doubleday and Anchor Books. “The world is a little less kind and a little less beautiful today,” his longtime editor, Bill Thomas, said in a statement, adding: “There were hundreds of reasons to love David. He was of course incredibly charming, witty and learned, a brilliant raconteur with the quickest mind imaginable, but most of all he was a generous soul. Though his life was cut infuriatingly short, it was rich beyond measure.” Doubleday will publish Rakoff’s final piece in 2013, a work titled “Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die; Cherish, Perish.”
For whatever (hilarious) reason, the Kim Kardashian sex tape is back in the news. A new Star Magazine report swears Kris Jenner played an integral role in the release of her daughter’s naked video with Ray J in 2007, as an insider tells the tabloid: “Kris was totally involved in arranging the sale of Kim’s tape… The video already existed, and Kris was there every step of the way as a middleman brought in to market it to an adult entertainment company.”
Penn State football uniforms will look different in 2012. The iconic navy blue jerseys will feature player names on the back for the first time, along with blue ribbons to support victims of child abuse. The decision to add names was made “in recognition of (their) resolve and dedication to the team and the university,” according to a statement. The blue ribbons speak for themselves. Penn State uniforms have been widely known for their simple design and lack of a name across the back, but this is a different program now. Coach Bill O’Brien said in May that the uniforms wouldn’t change from the design favored by Joe Paterno, but apparently had a change of heart. The fallout from the Jerry Sandusky scandal was immense as a committee found Joe Paterno and Penn State culpable as well as the child molester himself. The university’s statue of the coaching legend, now deceased, has been torn down. In 2012, the uniforms will further signal a new era at PSU.
Apparently Kanye West and his ” Perfect Bitch ” can actually do something aside from pose for the paparazzi. In a new spot for the MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye and Kim Kardashian are actually seen interacting for the first time (for marketing purposes, of course), as they appear opposite comedian/event host Kevin Hart. The subject of the commercial? Threesomes and couple nicknames, of course. Topics very close to Kim’s heart. Watch now and learn what moniker Hart wants to give the three, along with the way in which the conversation somehow turns to white hoods and KKK. Does this make you want to watch the VMAs on September 6? Or bludgeon your TV screen with a sledge hammer?
Troublesome as the Octomom porn may be for us to stomach, don’t expect Orange County Child Protective Services (CPS) to come a-knockin’. In fact, she claims they’re all for it! “They’re on my side – they’re supporters,” Nadya Suleman reportedly told a Fox News interviewer, recalling when she told CPS about it. “It’s ironic. Once I talked with a CPS worker in regards to the adult stuff, she was like, ‘Are you really doing that?’ Well, more power to you!'” “It’s not illegal. It was almost like a green light, like, ‘Do what you need to do to take care of your family.’ They were supportive. It was funny.” Funny is not the world a lot of people would choose … but is this even true? Would a CPS employee possibly say that to Nadya Suleman ? Terry Lynn Fisher of the Orange County Social Services Agency (which oversees CPS) “cannot address specific aid recipients” but says: “The Social Services Agency makes every effort to help children be safe in their own homes with their own families whenever possible. The law allows a wide latitude in parenting styles and in parenting vocations. I don’t think that anybody would ever want it any other way . So as long as children remain free from harm or danger, where there’s no imminent risk of harm or danger, the Social Services Agency would not become involved.” It’s all good in other words. Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised. If they haven’t taken her kids away by now, how’s one porno gonna sway them. Nadya Suleman: Should she lose her kids? Would you hit it?
Season two of The X Factor is just over a month away, and Simon Cowell’s revamped competition is missing one key element: a host. The show has struggled to find a replacement for Steve Jones, who was dumped following a lackluster opening season. With producers reportedly seeking a male and a female to take the Brit’s place, Khloe Kardashian has moved toward the top of the list for the latter position. And now multiple sources confirm that Glee star Kevin McHale is also under consideration for the gig.
Some of you are undoubtedly throwing up your hands and saying “Duh, everybody knows THAT” right now, but hey, it’s a slow news day. Star magazine is reporting the “shocking” news that Kim Kardashian really did get famous just by lying there- -her mother Kris Jenner allegedly orchestrated the whole thing. A “source”, who passed a polygraph test ( whatever that’s worth ), tells Star : “ Kris was totally involved in arranging the sale of Kim’s tape. The video already existed, and Kris was there every step of the way as a middleman to market it to an adult entertainment company. ” What proof do they have of these allegations? “I saw Kris Jenner’s signature on the contract; I believe she got somewhere between $250,000 and $500,000 for the original deal with the middleman. Everything she does in this world, every decision she makes on her daughters’ behalf, is based on greed and publicity, and has nothing to do with her family’s stability or happiness.” In other news, water is wet, the Pope is Catholic, and Jennifer Connelly has a great rack. Enjoy the fruit of Kris Jenner ‘s daughter-pimping labors with the SKINfamous 2007 Kim Kardashian Sex Tape right here at MrSkin.com!
I know that Kim Kardashian’s booty is her livelihood, she’s made a whole lot of money off that thing, but it’s beginning to get a little out of hand. Here she is trying to get to her car in a hail of flashbulbs, with that big old thing stuffed into a pair of really hard working spandex pants. Don’t get me wrong, I love a big booty as much as the next guy, but I’m not sure spandex is supposed to be stretched to the point where it’s see through. I kind of like it.
