Tag Archives: kate upton

Madison Beer Jailbait in her Bikini of the Day

I have been seeing a bunch of sites posting paparazzi pics of Madison Beer. Since I am desensitized to bikini pics, and since I see hot girls in bikinis pretty much all the fucking time, mostly no names and fame whores, I just blew it off, but after the fifth or sixth time seeing her in her bikini over the holidays, I realized, shit those are some tits, so I decided to look into who she was….and it turns out she was born in March 1999. I remember December 1999…it was Y2K…I was 29 years old.. Luckily, I am used to fucking with younger girls, not this young, my cut off is 19, because younger girls are just not old, bitter, angry, sloppy, seen better days girls, they are instead built differently thanks to the hormones in the food, they talk smarter thanks to growing up on the internet with access to information, they don’t do romance, or love, or seduction…but they do fuck, I mean…they grew up on porn…making them interesting, complex, and fun to fuck from TINDER… That said, the lesson of 2016, that I’ve learned is that in two or three years, ….I will have sex with someone born in the 2000s.. that’s a crazy concept, like the people of the 80s imagining flying cars in 2015…..never did I think, that 1999 New Years Day that “a girl I will fuck in 18 years will be born this year”… Not that it matters, what matters is that Madison Beer exists, mainly because Bieber posted one of her videos on his social media..and boom…a career at 16….because Biber likes them at 16…and so does James Franco..not that it matters, what maters is that this girl’s body is absurd…criminal…literally…and thanks to Kate Upton, and the lessons she has taught us, we can hope…she doesn’t grow into her what look lik emassive boobs…but could be Victoria’s Secret Boobs…which they probably are, but either way, 16 isn’t what it used to be….and this weird child love for the paparazzi should be illegal.. The post Madison Beer Jailbait in her Bikini of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Madison Beer Jailbait in her Bikini of the Day

The Royals in 2015: Look Back On Their Year!

It was a year that the royal family will look back on fondly, as records were broken and new life was welcomed into the world. On May 2nd, Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana was born inside the Lindo Wing at St. Mary's Hospital in London.   Just 10 hours later, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge wrapped the little girl in a soft ivory bonnet (a gift from nanny Maria Borrallo's Spanish mother), and took her back to Kensington Palace. Since her birth, the public has been treated to photos of Charlotte and her big brother, George, from the infant's christening to the family's first Christmas card together.   When the Duke and Duchess pay an official visit to India in the spring, royal fans hope that they'll bring along their two children. In other royal happenings, Her Majesty surpassed Queen Victoria as the longest-reigning British monarch in history, a milestone that she told others she'd prefer not to make a fuss over.   Check out what else happened over this past year in Windsorville in the slideshow below. 1. A Princess Is Born Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge made her arrival into the world at 8:34 am local time on May 2nd, weighing 8 lbs., 3 oz. Per tradition, a sign was posted at the gates of Buckingham Palace declaring the news. 2. Prince George Dabbles In Vintage When Prince William carried his son, Prince George on to Buckingham Palace’s balcony for the 2015 Trooping of the Colour, something about George’s outfit looked very familiar. In fact, Kensington Palace confirmed that William wore the exact same thing to the parade in 1984. According to What Kate’s Kids Wore, the outfit may be older than that; Charles wore something very similar in a 1950 photo of Cecil Beaton. 3. One Is Happy And Glorious At about 5:30 local time on September 9th, 2015, Queen Elizabeth II became the longest-reigning British monarch in history, surpassing her great-great grandmother, Queen Victoria. Her Majesty carried on an engagement that day, treating it as business as usual. “Many, including you First Minister, have also kindly noted another significance attaching to today, although it is not one to which I have ever aspired,” the Queen told crowds at Edinburgh Waverley Train Station in Scotland. “Inevitably, a long life can pass by many milestones. My own is no exception. But I thank you all and the many others at home and overseas for your touching messages of great kindness.” 4. Well, This is Awkward The Sun releaved family footage of the Queen, the Queen Mother, Princess Margaret and Edward VIII in 1933 making a Nazi salute. “Most people will see these pictures in their proper context and time,” a palace source told the Daily Mail of the footage. “This is a family playing and momentarily referencing a gesture many would have seen from contemporary news reels. No one at that time had any sense how it would evolve. To imply anything else is misleading and dishonest.” 5. What Smells? Prince George held his baby sister, Charlotte as the Duchess of Cambridge took the first official photos of the Princess at the family’s Norfolk home. 6. Prince Harry’s Remarkable Work After ending his ten-year career with the army in June, Prince Harry focused his efforts on charitable endeavors. One of them was supporting a 1,000-mile trek through the UK for Walking With The Wounded, an organization that focuses on helping wounded vets recover from their injuries. In this particular shot, Harry embraced a vet who gave him a dog tag belonging to her fallen comrade. It was a touching moment between the two, and signified Harry’s dedication to the cause. View Slideshow

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The Royals in 2015: Look Back On Their Year!

Lauren Conrad, Kendall Jenner & More: Star Sightings 12.21.2015

Stars were either hoppin on and off planes, or doing some last-minute shopping before Christmas Day. Lauren Conrad showed off her new red hair, while Ryan Phillippe brought the gun show to a meeting in West Hollywood. OK bye. 1. Lauren Conrad Changes Her Hair Color Lauren Conrad shared a photo of her new red hair on Instagram on December 20th, 2015. 2. Caitlyn Jenner at LAX Caitlyn Jenner arrives at Los Angeles International Airport on December 18th, 2015. 3. Lisa Vanderpump Dines at PUMP Lisa Vanderpump took one of her dogs to PUMP Restaurant in West Hollywood, CA on December 20th, 2015. 4. Kate Upton Does Some Holiday Shopping at The Grove Kate Upton shops at The Grove in Los Angeles on December 21st, 2015. 5. Niall Horan: BC Sports Personality Of The Year Awards Niall Horan on the red carpet before the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award at Odyssey Arena on December 20, 2015 in Belfast, Northern Ireland. 6. Bai Ling Poses For The Camera Bai Ling held an impromptu photoshoot on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles on December 18th, 2015. View Slideshow

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Lauren Conrad, Kendall Jenner & More: Star Sightings 12.21.2015

Skin Links 12.1.15

It’s impossible for Mr. Skin to be everywhere at once, so sometimes he turns to his friends on the internet to bring you the latest Skin approved stories from around the web! Joanna Krupa braless in a see-through little black dress ( taxidrivermovie.com ) Emma Watson’s left nipple—AT LAST—in Porter Magazine ( drunkenstepfather.com ) Summer St. Claire strips out of her lingerie for bathtime ( egotasticallstars.com ) Darcie Dolce examines her naked body in the mirror ( boobieblog.com ) Australian model Jessica Hart’s pokies in a bikini ( thenipslip.com ) The kids will go nuts for this rollicking and fun new Batman v Superman trailer ( doubleviking.com ) Abigail Ratchford recreates Kate Upton’s bikini popsicle photo ( steakwood.com ) It’s always the season for a naked witch ( fleshbot.com )

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Skin Links 12.1.15

Kate Upton or Amy Schumer Playing Some Tennis Porn of the Day

Kate Upton is not porn to me. I didn’t like her when she was big and 18, busty as fuck, with a body I knew would catch up with her tits by 20, because I’ve seen hot girls fall apart since I was 18 and realized the hot girl in my class was no longer hot…or that the girl with tits at 14 was no longer the hot one….and I knew that by 30…when the metabolism actually slows down…Kate Upton is fucking done… But tennis is porn to me, so anytime a girl in her skirt hits the ball, making those sex sounds, I get excited… Now mixing the two, a doughy Kate Upton, all hanging over her outfit….and tennis, a sport I love girls playing…is not necesarily something you can jerk off to…even if she’s got big tits… But it is something you can laugh to…and laughing is good for the soul on Thanksigiving… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Kate Upton or Amy Schumer Playing Some Tennis Porn of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Kate Upton or Amy Schumer Playing Some Tennis Porn of the Day

Even a Dog with Balls Won’t Look at Kate Upton’s Ass of the Day

I make fun of Kate Upton for being the most overrated, pig of a model, who is plus sized but in denial..because for some reason the industry forces some girls to starve themselves, other girls to call themselves plus sized, yet Kate Upton, who is huge, even monster sized, gets the cover of magazines like Vogue, and is jerked off to by many because she’s got huge doughy tits, that match her doughy body, but that are so doughy, people eat them up like cookie dough, that’s probably what they are made of….despite her not even being hot… She’s in movies, she’s rich as fuck…and she’s gross…especially in her leggings…that even a dog, who normally eats garbage and panties, sniffing old periods and yeast infections on the laps of women everywhere…but wants nothing to do with this… I guess in a lot of ways…this dog is the oracle…it just gets it.. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Even a Dog with Balls Won’t Look at Kate Upton’s Ass of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Even a Dog with Balls Won’t Look at Kate Upton’s Ass of the Day

Even a Dog with Balls Won’t Look at Kate Upton’s Ass of the Day

I make fun of Kate Upton for being the most overrated, pig of a model, who is plus sized but in denial..because for some reason the industry forces some girls to starve themselves, other girls to call themselves plus sized, yet Kate Upton, who is huge, even monster sized, gets the cover of magazines like Vogue, and is jerked off to by many because she’s got huge doughy tits, that match her doughy body, but that are so doughy, people eat them up like cookie dough, that’s probably what they are made of….despite her not even being hot… She’s in movies, she’s rich as fuck…and she’s gross…especially in her leggings…that even a dog, who normally eats garbage and panties, sniffing old periods and yeast infections on the laps of women everywhere…but wants nothing to do with this… I guess in a lot of ways…this dog is the oracle…it just gets it.. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Even a Dog with Balls Won’t Look at Kate Upton’s Ass of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Even a Dog with Balls Won’t Look at Kate Upton’s Ass of the Day

Julianne Hough Bikini Lizard of the Day

Julianne Hough showed off her stripper body…that’s not stripper enough because she’s used her professional dancing all fucking wrong…you’re supposed to go to auditions, fail because no one needs fucking dancers, except maybe Cruise ships and Vegas shows….forcing you to strip to pay off student loans.. But some fucking asshole came up with “Dancing With the Stars”…giving a platform for her to use her dancing….leaving the getting naked for money for cokeheads like Ryan Seacrest and his micropenis that all up her ass like she was Simon Cowell.. Either way, she posted that tainted by Seacrest body in a bikini and the highlight is her friend….Arielle Vanderberg…. So here’s her friend’s Pussy in a Yoga Pose. The post Julianne Hough Bikini Lizard of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Julianne Hough Bikini Lizard of the Day

Hannah Ferguson Boring for Bride Magazine of the Day

Hannah Ferguson is boring as fuck…and I guess I just wanted to bring that point home with these pictures from some wedding bullshit she probably got paid too much to participate in….despite being interchangeable in terms of talent with thousands of other girls… But I guess she’s a Victoria’s Secret model, and part of that is doing other campaigns to increase exposure and thus promote the brand indirectly or being booked by other campaigns because they see her as some kind of celebrity…even though they don’t show her entire body, just her tits, which is standard practice for secret fat girls….who don’t want you to know the rest of them is Kate Upton-like…and they big tits are less about genetics and more about cream filled donuts…donuts that are a preview of their future with rich guys they are trying to be knocked up by… Here she is for panties..because let’s give Hannah Ferguson some love, she’s 45 years old and finally is making it, let’s give her a round of applause… TO SEE THE REST OF THE LINGERIE PICS CLICK HERE The post Hannah Ferguson Boring for Bride Magazine of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Hannah Ferguson Boring for Bride Magazine of the Day

Kate Upton Pretending She’s Working Out of the Day

This is the most hysterical, insane picture, set by her PR team…so fucking staged that it is a fucking joke….it’s almost more staged than any paparazzi set of pics I’ve ever really seen and I’ve been doing this forever… I mean, she’s rich, her husband or boyfriend who cheats on her and leaks her nudes is rich….they have gyms in their houses, and at their hotels, and they can train anywhere…. But girl, who is ripped apart like she rips apart the pizza and cake she devours, before and after the gym….on the daily for being a top model, not being considered a plus sized model when her body caught up to her tits…and has since gone onto acting in movies…despite having no talent…because you don’t need talent…when you have big tits… She’s a monster, but people still humor her…and I guess this is her way of showing the world she’s fit…full squat…let’s call the paparazzi because clearly, based on everything about her…it doesn’t happen too often and it should be news….now where are all the donuts? hiding in her stomach? right.. . TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE The post Kate Upton Pretending She’s Working Out of the Day appeared first on DrunkenStepfather .

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Kate Upton Pretending She’s Working Out of the Day