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Medicated Pete’s Last Day

Click to Download Howard said that it’s Medicated Pete’s last day today. He said ti’s the end of his internship. He said he thinks that Pete is freaking out. Howard said he heard that they want him out of there because he’s creeping people out. He stands and stares at people in the lobby there. Howard said even if they could extend his internship they want him out of there. He said that it’s the upper management that wants him out. Howard said he apparently stares at the other show guests out in the lobby. Howard heard that Pete got choked up on the show last night. Pete said he did. Howard said Gary told him that Pete is basically useless back in the office. He said Gary told him he can leave when the show is over because he doesn’t have anything for him to do. Gary said he loves Pete but there isn’t much they have for him to do back there. Gary said having him around is keeping him in the way there. He said he likes having Pete around though. Gary said Pete doesn’t know where to be so he wanders around like bumper pool. He knocks into stuff as he wanders the halls. Gary said he has things for Pete to do but not all that much. Gary asked Pete what his day consists of. Pete said he answers phones a couple of times. This morning he said he hasn’t done much. Howard said he sits around listening to dance music during the show. He’s not even listening to the show. He waits to be called in on the air and then goes home. Gary said that one of their old assistants is the one who found Pete. She said that Pete used to hang out in the library. Pete spends the whole day there at the library according to that woman. Gary said they ended up hiring Pete. Howard said Pete is going to have to surrender his name ”Medicated Pete” and leave there as just ”Pete.” Howard said Pete must be wondering what to do with the rest of his life. Pete said he’s going to be pawning stuff on the beach now. Howard said he heard that Pete’s nickname is bedbug because he latches on to people. Pete said that’s right. Ronnie said that Pete walks around the whole building and stares at people. He just wanders around to places he shouldn’t be going. He said Pete was down there at the ”other place” where he shouldn’t be. Howard asked Pete what he was doing up there. Pete said he doesn’t know. He said he can’t rationalize it. Pete said he knows a guy from NFL radio up there so that’s why he goes up. Ronnie said he wanders every hall up there though so he has to tell him to come back. Ronnie said he tells him to stay away from some of the areas down there. Howard asked if Pete ever goes to the law offices and other parts of the building. Pete said he stays there in the SIRIUS compound. Ronnie said he also says goodbye like 18 times. He said he’ll leave and then come back and then leave again. He said that Pete waits out there in the lobby waiting to go on the Wrap Up Show and thing like that. Ronnie said that the receptionist can’t figure out how to get rid of him either. Howard said he’s going to be fucked when he leaves there. Howard asked if he can retire on the Medicated Pete app money. Pete said he has gotten some money off of that. He said he probably made about 3-400 dollars. Robin said that’s not bad. Gary asked how Pete makes money. Pete said he gets disability because of his Tourettes. Howard said he thinks he could get a job in a restaurant or something. Pete said he could spit on some hamburgers. Ronnie said he could stock shelves at a store or something. He doesn’t think he could work a register or anything. Howard said that’s why the library is so great because they can’t kick him out of there. Ronnie said he should get a job there at the library. Howard said Pete must be worried that his girlfriend is going to break up now that he’s not on the show. Pete said he’ll probably get booted to the curb. Howard said that chick is going to get sick of Pete bed bugging on to her. Ronnie asked what he was doing the rest of the week when he wasn’t working there. Pete said he’s trying to find something. Howard said that it’s been a pleasure having him there. He said he thinks Pete is a good dude. Pete thanked them for everything. Robin told him to stay in touch. Howard said maybe they can help him out with something. Robin said he can be part of the Wack Pack now. Howard said he should make an Amazon wish list so they can buy him stuff like Eric the Midget. Howard asked Pete if he wanted to say goodbye like Simon Cowell did on Idol. Pete said it’s been nice getting to know them and he appreciates them having him on. He said it was very nice of him. Howard said he took one look at Pete and knew he had to get him on the air. Howard said it felt weird to say goodbye to Pete. Robin said she was hoping the day would never come. Howard said the same thing and thanked Robin for saying that. Howard told Pete to call in like Jeff the Drunk once in a while. He told him to just not ask for money. Howard let Pete go and Pete kept turning around to say goodbye. Robin said she’s never seen Pete like that. Howard said he’s upset today. Robin said that Pete kept turning to Gary and saying ”bus” and bursting out laughing. Howard played a prank call the guys made using clips of Medicated Pete asking a ton of questions that the guy on the other end didn’t understand. Howard said that JD is upset that Pete is leaving because they left him alone. JD said that he’s only there two days a week so he’s not going to miss him. Howard said JD was kind of cool when Pete was around. Howard said JD actually didn’t like Pete. JD said it’s not that he didn’t like him. He said Pete is funny at times but today he was just alright. JD said Pete is weird. He said he stares at people and it’s just weird. Will came in and said that JD got really upset with him when he invited Pete to a party. He said JD thought he was cooler than Pete and didn’t think Pete should be there. JD said he knew it was out of a joke that he was invited. Howard imagined JD asking why they invited ”that nerd” to the party. Howard and Fred goofed on JD about that whole thing for a few minutes. Howard said that JD should have taken Pete under his nerdy wing. Howard let JD go after that. Howard said he had to take a break after that.

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Medicated Pete’s Last Day

Bitter Mystery Talent Attacks Paramount on Twitter

Some anonymous Hollywood creative has taken to Twitter to air his/her grievances against Paramount. “Not since we released Breakfast At Tiffany ‘s has Paramount been prouder to bring yellow face 2 cinemas with our fantastic The Last Airbender ,” wrote the person behind @ParamountFilms, who also has an unusual infatuation with Anchorman 2 . “We just got Scientology to put up the full budget for Mission Impossible 4 . Maybe it’s time to get your thetans checked @ghostpanther,” they tweeted yesterday, referencing director Adam McKay. Later: “Yes, we @ Paramount R planning 2 remake every movie in our library. So while we won’t give U Anchorman 2 , we will give U the remake in 2015.” Hmm. I have my money on Paul Rudd. You? [ @ParamountFilms via Deadline ]

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Bitter Mystery Talent Attacks Paramount on Twitter

‘Glee’ Recap: Madonna Invades William McKinley High

Sue Sylvester takes center stage during the all-Madonna episode. By Jean Bentley Lea Michele, Amber Riley, Jenna Ushkowitz and Chris Colfer in “Glee” Photo: FOX Tuesday’s (April 20) all-Madonna episode of “Glee” imparted an important lesson: Even the almighty Material Girl can be upstaged by the power of Sue Sylvester. From her shot-for-shot remake of Madonna’s “Vogue” music video to her extra-acerbic insults of Will Schuester’s hair, the Cheerios coach was just on. At most high schools, Madonna songs blaring at high volume over the loudspeaker would prove to be a bit distracting. Then again, most schools aren’t William McKinley High, where Sue blackmailed Principal Figgins into playing her idol’s music full blast to inspire the students to be more independent and powerful. (This also, conveniently, allowed as many Madonna songs as possible to be squeezed into the 44-minute episode.) Sue had her Cheerios harness Madge’s power by encouraging them to troll the middle school for younger boyfriends and abandon their last names. She also choreographed a routine to “Ray of Light” involving stilts (not creepy — in fact, amazing) and hurled her greatest one-liner yet: “Sloppy freak-show babies. Somewhere in the English countryside in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping.” Following Sue’s lead, Will made New Directions brainstorm Madonna numbers in an attempt to empower the female glee clubbers and discourage the guys’ misogynistic tendencies. This brilliant idea struck him when he overheard Rachel asking the female gleeks for hypothetical romantic advice after her new boyfriend tried to get her to do it after a Wiggles concert. (Remember, Rachel and Vocal Adrenaline’s Jesse St. James are secretly dating.) Unfortunately, guidance counselor Emma was no help. As we learned last week, she’s a virgin, too, but she did have some pretty hilarious sex-education brochures. After Rachel’s girl-power-y “Express Yourself,” her duet with Finn on the “Borderline/ Open Your Heart” mash-up, and a clandestine meeting with Jesse in the Steven Sondheim biography section of the library, where he apologized for pressuring her, she decided she would have sex with Jesse after all. But Rachel wasn’t the only character contemplating losing her virginity: Emma took to heart Sue’s quip that she wasn’t powerful enough to have Madonna piped into her office and told Will it was on. Foreplay would start at 7:30 sharp. And Santana decided Finn was the younger, inferior man she needed in order to emulate Madonna. The resulting (and inevitable) “Like a Virgin” extravaganza followed the three couples on their sexual adventures and was perhaps the best “Glee” number yet, as far as integrating the song and choreography into the plot and allowing multiple characters to sing solos. All six shared vocal duties — even Santana! And she sounded great. Still, it turns out that not all the couples went through with the deed. Although she told Finn the next day that she did it, Rachel didn’t actually leave the bathroom, even as Jesse implored her to “Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.” Jesse’s solution: transferring to McKinley to prove how much he respected Rachel. Finn, on the other hand, lied and said he didn’t do it when he actually did. Emma chickened out and ran home barefoot. She and Will decided Monday that they’d readdress their sexual chemistry after his divorce was official and she got help for her OCD. Kurt and Mercedes made the Sue Sylvester “Vogue” video as a multimedia presentation for their New Directions Madonna song (it’s almost indescribably amazing), and they were rewarded for their hard work in the form of positions as the Cheerios’ new lead singers, roles they debuted with a cover of the Madonna/ Justin Timberlake duet “4 Minutes.” Closing out the episode was a take on “What It Feels Like for a Girl” from the boys and a show-stopping “Like a Prayer,” complete with gospel choir, from the whole gang. Did the all-Madonna episode live up to its hype? Sound off in the comments!

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‘Glee’ Recap: Madonna Invades William McKinley High

Library of Congress Takes Your Tweets

The US Library of Congress has acquired Twitter's entire public archive back through March 2006. You are all basically published authors now. Congrats! View

Happy Birthday, Carrie Underwood!

One of the best young singers on the planet celebrates a birthday on this 10th day of March. No, not Miley Cyrus. No, not Justin Bieber (that was last week). We’re talking about Carrie Underwood, American Idol winner turned American country sensation and universal cutie. She’s 27 today. Happy birthday, Carrie! On top of being a terrific talent with 10 million-plus record sales to her name, the product of Checotah, Oklahoma, is smart, sexy and even down to earth. What a combination! Birthday girl Carrie Underwood smiles. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com] Having recently made her TV debut (and contributed to our library of great How I Met Your Mother quotes ), Carrie will soon appear in her first film, Soul Surfer . We have no doubt she’ll do great. In honor of her birthday, we put together a tribute of Carrie Underwood photos . Click to enlarge and send her your greetings!

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Happy Birthday, Carrie Underwood!

Charles Pearson Arrested For Stalking Dr. Drew Pinsky

Apparent nut job Charles Pearson has been apprehended for allegedly stalking quasi-celebrity Dr. Drew Pinsky. We know, Dr. Drew Pinsky has a stalker? Most stalking articles involve hot girls getting stalked ( Audrina Patridge ), pretending to be stalked (Tila Tequila) or doing the stalking ( Vienna Girardi ). This one? Just plain weird. Pearson was booked for felony stalking after he was arrested at Pierce College in Woodland Hills. Dr. Drew’s security team pinpointed his location there. The reason? He posted said location on his own site. Take note, young readers. Don’t post incriminating info online, especially if you’re stalking Dr. Drew. Pearson’s bail has been set at $150,000. Here’s his mug shot … Dr. Drew is no longer at risk from this stable individual . Dr. Drew’s team of cyber-security experts monitored and ultimately nabbed the alleged stalker yesterday after he made his location at the college available. Pinsky’s peeps spotted the post and immediately contacted cops at the Pasadena Police Department … who then alerted sheriff’s deputies at the college. Sources say a number of police officers and school security showed up to the library shortly after, cleared out a bunch of people and moved on Pearson. He was supposedly cooperative, at least. Guy sounds like a troubled fella in need of help. His ex, Sandra Obagi, obtained a restraining order in 2007, claiming he threatened her life, allegedly saying: “I have guns and I’m not afraid to use them.”

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Charles Pearson Arrested For Stalking Dr. Drew Pinsky

New York Times Sitting on Paterson Swinging Bombshell?

There’s a big New York Times takedown of our wacky governor on the way, according to The Observer’s John Koblin .

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New York Times Sitting on Paterson Swinging Bombshell?

Real Housewives of Orange County: Marriage, Californian Style

If you’ve ever been to one of those awful gator parks in Florida, the ones off the highway, then you’ve seen this show before: A bunch of ancient scaly things laying about, moving only occasionally to viciously snap at something. It’s too bad there aren’t any alligators in Orange County, because if there were we could just set them loose and they’d devour these horrible women and we could move on with our lives.

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Real Housewives of Orange County: Marriage, Californian Style

Asher Roth Visits MTV’s “Silent Library” Tonight!

During each episode of MTV’s “Silent Library,” six friends watch in silence as one of their team members is put under extreme and harebrained situations such as having spitballs hurled them or sipping some of the vilest concoctions ever mixed together. When the team successfully c… Continue reading

Stephen Hawking & the Omnipotent Fishgod

In what is becoming to be one of the worst misuses of science since electronics ended up in Sammy the Singing Sea Bass, defenders of “Intelligent Design” increasingly abuse both words and the anthropic principle to “prove” the existence of God. Many of our greatest scientists have been asking why does the universe appear to be “fine-tuned” for life?

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Stephen Hawking & the Omnipotent Fishgod