Tag Archives: Lieutenant

Joe Wiesenthal at Business Insider posted a sourced report noting that the New York Times ‘ David Paterson story is really big. Big enough to merit the governor’s resignation once published. Paterson’s deputy communications director Marissa Shoenstein spun the following: Via email – There is absolutely zero truth to these rumors. The governor is not resigning Reached by phone, Shorenstein also noted that: The story isn’t coming out “any time soon.” It’s a “profile” that’s going to be running in the Metro section of the New York Times . A few Times writers are bylined on the piece, who Shorenstein says they’ve been in contact and cooperating with over it. Finally, when asked whether or not anything that’s going to be written in the forthcoming Times piece on Gov. Paterson could be described as “scandalous, a ‘bombshell,’ or anything that might find itself in the public’s general interest,” Shorenstein gave a flat-out deinal: “No.” So what the hell is in this thing? Commenters have ideas. Runner Up: “He’s not really blind .” “Perhaps they’ve discovered that he has no idea how to govern .” ” I call banking kickbacks . That, or he wrote a cheque for a hooker like Jerry Springer.” “He first became Lieutenant Governor when Eliot Spitzer hired him for sex? ” “I’m guessing that he’s a masturbator .” ” It’s a hot li’l female , the Cuomo team is workin’ overtime, and he will not resign.” “He’s a hardcore Warcraft player who got a little too into erotic role playing as a female blood elf mage. Expect some pretty disgusting screenshots from Goldshire .” ” He’s a third-party in the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter sex tape.” “Basically it’s that he is actually a Belgian-born white dude named Tim Kimberly and he was once a paid assassin for Opus Dei .” “Unless the “bombshell” Paterson news involves either of the two philias — pedophilia, necrophilia — or active drug-dealing to under-age children, serial murder, cannibalism, or dog fighting, I’m not going to give a shit .” And finally, our winner: ” He’s really Fred Armisen .” Wow. Just…wow. More as we get it, but in the mean time, the Paterson camp is firm in their stance of noting that there’s nothing any of us should care about in this thing.

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Gov. David Paterson Spokeswoman Denies NYT Resignation-Profile Bombshell