A party at Justin Bieber’s house a couple weeks ago nearly ended in tragedy, as a guest fell unconscious and a friend of the singer’s phoned the authorities. An ambulance was dispatched to the scene but later recalled when the victim stumbled to her feet and was taken home. Now, though, the 911 call made by Bieber’s unnamed pal has surfaced… and it’s raised a few questions concerning what the heck went down on the night of December 13. At first, the security team member tells an operator that someone is “hyperventilating.” Then, he says the person is having a seizure. Then, he changes his story again and say she simply passed out. We may never know what actually happened, but listen in now and try to discern for yourself: Justin Bieber 911 Call: WTF? Of course, Bieber fans have something else to focus on and worry about these days: Did Justin really retire on Christmas Eve ?!?!?!?!?
Did you know that the average woman spends 457 hours shopping in the days leading up to Christmas? Okay, maybe not. But it certainly feels that way to boyfriends and husbands who get dragged along to the mall while their prettier half picks up one item after another after another after another… And now a perfectly named Instagram account (miserable_men/Instagram) has captured some hilarious reactions of those stuck waiting for their wives. Some men sleep. Others text. Others look as if they’d rather be grossed out by Miley Cyrus masturbating than sitting, hopelessly waiting for the torture to end. Click through these images now:
Oh, the hilarious humanity. With all due respect to this Kelly Clarkson Christmas card and this Mena Suvari Christmas card , the Bocks have won the 2013 holiday season. This family has sent out a video card for the occasion, remixing Miley Cyrus’ ” We Can’t Stop ” with lyrics about drinking eggnog and other late-year traditions, all while swaying awkwardly and wearing hideous sweaters. A tambourine even makes an appearance. It’s all as amazing as it sounds and you simply must stop what you are doing and watch the antics now: Family Christmas Card Remixes “We Can’t Stop”
Hotel surveys. No one wants to fill them out, but few people dislike them as much as this customer, who was caught off guard when one was sent to his home. Caught with his pants down, you might say … so to speak: A Reddit user claimed that his friend works at a hotel and received this survey from an unhappy guest … although at least the accommodations got mostly 6/7s. The checkout process could’ve been more timely, however. If this is a joke on the hotel visitor’s part, then very well played. If not, then you have to give him credit for honesty … and wonder what his wife’s comments were. Think he’s as honest with her as he was with the hotel? No word on how the “service” he received in the actual room was worth the price, either. We’d love to see some of the boxes checked off in that survey.
The Internet is a glorious, hilarious place where people ask all of their dumbest questions with absolutely no filter at all. And believe us, there are totally dumb questions. These people also seem never to have heard of Google, which makes it even better. Or worse? You be the judge. This Facebook user wants to get “read” of cats: I have only the following in response: Keep going for more of the dumbest questions people have asked on the Internet. In all fairness, maybe this person has kids. Or nieces and nephews. Or neighbors who are children. Maybe. RIP Jack, who was too dumb to paddle over to the next piece of driftwood and not die! Telling time is not this person’s strong suit. Clocks are tricky, yo! TLC called. There’s a show for this: This person’s giving Jessica Simpson a run for her money: Math fail. Add this site to your bookmarks for the next time you come across one of these gems: Let Me Google That For You
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi have revealed their 2013 Christmas Card – and it’s BOUND to make you laugh. In a clip that will air Monday, Ellen shows off a photo that would make James Franco and Seth Rogen proud, as she presents an image of herself on a motorcycle and wife Portia de Rossi sitting across from her, topless, prepared to seriously make out. Yes, it’s a parody of the infamous Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Bound 2 music video . “People have been talking about the Kardashian’s card so much, Portia and I did a card this year and… it was actually inspired by Kim and Kanye’s music video, if you saw it,” Ellen tells the audience in the following clip. Watch now and then be sure to check out the 2013 Kardashian family Christmas card . Ellen DeGeneres Christmas Card Reveal Seriously, how awesome is Ellen DeGeneres?!?
Elan Gale, a TV producer whose credits include The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, got into an epic beef with a passenger on his flight on Thanksgiving. He live-Tweeted the whole thing, from before takeoff until after landing, and every passive-aggressive (or actually aggressive) barb is documented. The airline feud for the ages played out in real time at Gale’s @theyearofelan Twitter handle, and we’ve posted it in full below for your enjoyment. Elan Gale Airline Twitter Fight The saga began as the pair’s US Airways flight to Phoenix was delayed at takeoff, and Elan started sharing his co-passenger’s idiotic reactions. Soon, he decided to engage her, and while he was certainly antagonistic, it’s hard to feel a lot of sympathy for “Diane” after you see her responses. Every line below is a Tweet from Elan. You gotta read this, it’s worth it … Our flight is delayed. A woman on here is very upset because she has Thanksgiving plans. She is the only one obviously. Praying for her She’s telling the flight attendants that it is Thanksgiving. She wants them to know she wants to have dinner with her family The male flight attendant said “I understand ma’am. I’m looking forward to seeing my family too.” She responded “This isn’t about you” Her family is very important to her, she says. Her family has a special recipe for stuffing. She needs to be there to help. It is crucial She has a connecting flight. Why doesn’t anyone understand she has a connecting flight? Why do people not understand her needs? “Today is Thanksgiving! I’m supposed to be with my family. NOT with you people I barely know!” She had to sit down because we took off. She has been muttering “about DAMN time” and I can hear her breathing from 5 rows back I sent the lady a glass of wine and a note: She’s pushing her call button a lot The male flight attendant is giving me the “let’s just pretend this never happened” face. Shaking his head a lot He gave me two little bottles of vodka but he won’t hand them to her. He says I have to do it myself I’m going to do it Oh my God I did it I walked as if I was going to the bathroom and I leaned over and put them on her tray table and walked away Oh my God She just stared at me like REALLY hard. She was breathing through her teeth and I think she just couldn’t believe I was doing that I’m not going to lie I am shaking this is so terrifying she is so angry at me it’s kind of incredible I don’t really know what to do now I’m afraid to get out of my seat. This is like being on a roller coaster I’m scared and super excited The male flight attendant just handed me a note from 7A: This means war Well I don’t know what I’m going to so next but I’ve got two hours left on this flight and I’m going to retaliate Diane is in her late 40s or early 50s. She is wearing mom jeans and a studded belt and she is wearing a medical mask over her idiot face I cannot believe there are “Diane” apologists in this world. You’re with me or you’re against me! I’m writing a note as we speak I’m considering balling it up and putting it in my mouth and spitting it into her tray table as I walk by but I haven’t decided yet I just walked by her and said “I’ll be back shortly.” Then I stopped and took this picture and smiled at her: I have delivered the note My response to “Diane” in 7A: I can hear her breathing Diane has responded #TeamElan #7A #DianeCanEatMyD: I am working on my response at the moment Diane has received yet another note from me. She does not look pleased #7A #TeamElan #DianeCanEatMyD My final (I think) note to Diane in 7A: I have landed in Phoenix. No sight of authorities yet Well, “Diane” just slapped me She walked right up to me and slapped me immediately in the face The gate agent for the next flight actually grabbed her and held her back. He asked me if I wanted to have the airport police come over I said “no” She turned to the gate agent and said “Am I going to make my flight to Sacramento?” He said “no” I laughed. And then the gate agent said “Are you sure you don’t want to talk to the police? You can if you want to” And I said “No. It’s okay. I understand. But I do have a note for her.” And I handed it to her and I walked away The note said… “Diane, allow me to introduce myself. I am TheYearOfElan…” “Look me up online. Read every tweet. Read every response. And maybe next time you’ll be nice to people who are just trying to help”
This week, Jimmy Kimmel aired the fifth edition of “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” on his late night show. If you haven’t seen it, well, the name says it all. People love to throw shade on Twitter. It’s kind of unreal. Which may explain why many of the celebrities reading Tweets about themselves can’t deal. From John Krasinski, Nick Offerman and Amy Poehler to Sharon Stone, Kevin James, Aaron Paul and Julia Louis-Dreyfus … everyone gets hated on! Watch all those stars and others react to the Tweets in the hilarious segment below, then ponder the future of a society where people write this stuff to them: Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, Volume 5
Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici are getting married January 26, and The Bachelor lovebirds believe that this will be a magical affair. Live on ABC. “We’ve been wedding planning all week and it will be the most beautiful wedding you’ve ever seen,” the Dallas, Tex., native told Life & Style on Friday. “We want the ceremony to be traditional and special and the reception to be a big party. We’ve got her family and my family coming together to have a blast.” With Juan Pablo Galavis set to take the reins from Sean this winter (see The Bachelor spoilers for the details on his season), Lowe is set to make history. Only a select few stars from the reality franchise have tied the knot with their final rose recipients. It’s a rare thing, and it’s not a small feat in this era. Who else will be having a blast at the epic Bachelor wedding soiree? “I’ve got several guys who were on the show with me … John Wolfner, Charlie Grogan, Ari Luyendyk, Jr. and Jef Holm,” he shared of his guest list. Catherine Giudici , too, is keeping it in the “family” with “a ton of girls that were actually on my season that she became close with. It’s going to be fun.” When asked if he’s nervous about the wedding be aired on national TV, Sean Lowe said that all he cares about is taking the next step with Catherine. “I want to marry this woman! I’m not really too concerned about the fact that millions of people may be watching,” he said. “I just want to marry her.” Sounds like a recipe for a happy life together to us.
Officials from the L.A. County Coroner’s office may exhume the body of actress Brittany Murphy in light of recent reports about her death, but have not. Yet. Brittany Murphy to Be Exhumed? Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter says he has not been “presented with … the toxicology reports Brittany Murphy’s father (Angelo Bertolotti) had done.” “If there was an indication her death wasn’t from natural causes, we would probably exhume the body,” says Winter, adding that it’s not his call alone. “Her father could also have the body exhumed privately, without a court order.” Winter said if the coroner was to exhume the star’s body under the belief that Brittany Murphy was poisoned , his office would in fact need a court order. Fingernails and more hair samples could be available if the body is exhumed. In 2010, the Coroner concluded Murphy’s death was an accident caused by a combination of pneumonia, an iron deficiency and “multiple drug intoxication.” A report commissioned by Murphy’s father possibly revealed otherwise. Brittany Murphy Cause of Death: Poison? The presence of heavy metals in Brittany it says, were “2-9 times higher than the levels identified by the World Health Organization as being considered ‘high.'” Her husband, Simon Monjack , died months later, also under suspicious circumstances. Heavy metals are commonly found in rat poison and insecticides. Addiction specialist Dr. Damon Raskin tells Fox News that he examined the findings and found the “results seem very suspicious for foul play.” “Other than lab error, there is no other good medical explanation for these abnormal levels … therefore, some type of poisoning is clearly a possibility.” L.A. physician Dr. Shilpi Agarwal said it was unlikely that Murphy had this in her system without being given supplements or unintentionally ingesting them. However, forensic pathologist Dr. Michael Baden said the results were “interesting, but not evidence of foul play .” He offered an alternate theory. “The grouping of heavy metals is more suggestive of hair product use – dyes, soaps, heat, etc. – than of rat poison,” Baden said, so it’s still unclear.
