Rebbeca Martinson, the University of Maryland student who gained web notoriety after her insane sorority e-mail went viral, now has an advice column. And why shouldn’t she? If there’s anyone who knows how to administer tough love or lay the smack down on BroBible readers when needed, it’s R-Mart. In her first effort, Rebecca Martinson offers some advice to female readers about how to get a guy you meet at the bar to text you the following day. Yes, she deploys the CAPS LOCK. And begins with the observation that “to most drunk guys a wet hole is a wet hole.” Becks always cuts to the chase. Below are excerpts from Martinson’s official bro texting guide … “I don’t think a single weekend has gone by during the semester where at least one of my roommates hasn’t moped her way onto one of our couches and begun whining about how some guy she met at the bar or wherever the night before hasn’t texted her yet.” “‘But guys, he bought me, like, six rails!’ Well duh, he was trying to get into your pants.” “There needs to be a public service announcement on E! in the middle of a Kardashians episode that says, ‘ATTENTION: NO SANE MAN GOES TO THE BAR TO NOT TRY TO STICK IT IN. HE IS NOT THERE TO GET TO KNOW YOU. HE IS NOT THERE TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR NEW SHADES OF NAIL POLISH. HE IS THERE TO GIVE YOU THE D FOR FREE!'” In which case, this is how you do it … 1. Only half put out . So I know this sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. Look back at the lovely and informative PSA. Is it mentioned anywhere in there that he’s out trying to find a girl with a lovely personality and who cooks like Paula Deen on a crack binge while simultaneously being Jenna Jameson in the sack? Nope. To most drunk guys a wet hole is a wet hole, and with each cranberry vodka you slurp down you’re both less likely to remember what either of you talked about. You could tell him you won the friggin’ lottery and the morning after he wouldn’t know it. This is why you only partially put out. What comes next? Follow the above link and find out!
Elle Macpherson is the first model I remember jerking off to. Before her it was National Geographic, music videos, the girl who always had hard nipples in my high school, and my Foster Mother who would make me do it while she watched… So she brought light to a very dark place. It was the 80s, she was in Sports Illustrated showing nipples, and for some reason, life finally made sense… Now we are both 30 years older, 30 years more tired, 30 years sloppier and more damaged, but she’s still up to the same Her exposing herself for expensive hotshots, this time a little booty, and me exposing myself, reminding me that somethings never change…and my love for Elle Macpherson or at least masturbting to her…is one of those things…a constant I can count on… These pics were shot by Brian Adams for those of you Canadian Rock fans who wonder what have happened to him since singing love songs about Kevin Costner in Robin Hood…
I’ve been a huge fan of Justin since the beginning. People at school often say I’m obsessed and sometimes judge me for it but I didn’t really care and kept supporting Justin. I went to my first concert on 27 March 2013 and it was amazing, unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to meet him. I never thought about being able to meet Justin because it seemed so unreal and since I was here from the beginning, I expected my chance to get smaller and smaller because Justin kept growing bigger. However, in November 2011 I got diagnosed with cancer. I do not really want to write my Bieber experience about that because that’s over. I’m cured now. Although I went through a really hard time I never gave up and kept going. My hospital told me I was allowed to do a wish at the Make-A-Wish Foundation. For everyone who doesn’t know what that is, the mission of Make-A-Wish International is to grant the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy. When I was told that I could make a wish I didn’t even have to think about it, I wanted to meet Justin Bieber. They came over to my house and asked literally EVERYTHING about me. They said they would try to make my wish come true but I had to be patient. Last May, the Believe tour dates came out and Justin was coming to Holland! I couldn’t believe it, but since Make-A-Wish didn’t guarantee a meet and greet, I didn’t know it I could go to the concert. I bought golden circle tickets and had really good seats! I was really happy about that, however I did tell my friend there was a chance I couldn’t go with her because maybe I would go with Make-A-Wish. Later Make-A-Wish rang us to tell it was going to happen, although after that I had to wait quite a long time to know the exact date. I was so happy and I told everyone about it. Although I felt sorry for my friend that I couldn’t go to the concert with her. I sold my ticket to her mum so she didn’t have to go alone. At first she was sad and I think a little bit angry at the same time but the night before the concert she won a meet & greet too! Finally on 13 April 2013 at 10 a.m. in the morning, I got picked up in a pink limousine , after that I was allowed to shop at Zara and I got a Nikon camera! We went to a salon and they did my hair and make up which was really pretty. Finally, we went to Geldrome, where the concert would take place. When Justin finally arrived around 9 p.m., the meet and greets started. I was told I had to go last so we had the most time. I saw a lot of girls coming out of the meet and greets including my friends. I had to wait backstage behind a curtain so I shouted at my friends to ask how he looked like, they said it was perfect and what he was wearing. I became even more nervous by then. After waiting a couple of minutes I had to go in line too. Every time someone came out, I saw Justin for a second and my heart almost dropped. They told us we were allowed to take our own pictures and I had no idea how long I could stay there. When it was finally my turn I went in the room and looked Justin in his eyes. He was like, “Hey sweetie” and then everything went so fast. Justin asked me if I wanted to take pictures so I took my iPhone and he was like “Ahh selfies!” We took a picture and he said, “Let me give you a kiss” and he kissed my cheek. After that I gave him my letter and Dutch ‘stroopwafels.’ Justin said, “THESE ARE SO GOOD, I LOVE DUTCH WAFFLES,” and he gave me a hug. Justin then signed my shirt and book and said I could have asked for more but I was satisfied. My mother, my father and my brother were there too because I could take my family. My father and brother gave him a handshake and my mum gave him a hug and wanted a picture as well. It was so cute because my mum always needs to hear what I have to say about Justin and she almost knows as much about him as I do. After that Justin gave me another hug, I said “This feels so good omg,” and he said, “Aw I love you sweetheart.” He had to leave and I held him super tight. I don’t really know what else to say, I got to spend like 5-10 minutes and these moments were probably the most exciting of my life. When Justin looked at me, he looked so deep in my eyes and it was so unreal. Now, my pictures are all over Twitter and Tumblr, which is quite weird because I used to look at these pics from other girls but now it’s ME. I really want to thank Make-A-Wish for this perfect day. I had the time of my life and I seriously will never forget this. Never give up on anything, always be grateful and never say never. -@ Fenntastic_ Visit link: I’ve been a huge fan of Justin since the beginning. People at…
Another day, another sloppy butter-biscuit bish coming for black folks…. MasterChef Contestant Krissi Biasielle Under Fire For Openly Racist Comments Yet another white female in the culinary arts industry is coming under fire for racists comments aimed at black people. And while Paula Deen certainly did the most with her mouthpiece, she doesn’t have anything on MasterChef contestant Krissi Biasiello. via THG Krissi Biasiello may have gone Paula Deen all over Twitter in a pair of ridiculously racist Tweets last year. The Philadelphia Daily News has unearthed a pair of messages allegedly sent from an account previously run by this MasterChef contestant – and they make Deen look like Gandi by comparison. “Why do the 76ers keep coming up in my who to follow,” reads one. “i HATE basketball. NBA = N*ggers Bouncing Around #thatsracist.” Last July, meanwhile, in response to an online poll about sexual habits, Biasiello supposedly wrote: “Better make sure you’re on top when sleeping with a black guy… Otherwise it’s probably rape.” Yeah. Wow. There’s nothing more that needs to be said about those. The account behind these Tweets (@KrissiLoud) has been deleted and Biasiello now writes from @MC4Krissi. No word yet from Fox or anyone at MasterChef regarding these messages and any action that may or may not be taken against Krissi. Must be something in the butter water with these sloppy butter-biscuit bishes. Look for an ” I was hacked, I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” damage control tweet in 5, 4, 3, 2…… Photo Credit: FOX Continue reading →
Katherine Jackson Allegedy Revealed Husband Joe’s Cheating Ways At Grandson’s Wedding It’s no secret that Joe Jackson, father of the late Michael Jackson, has been a rolling stone throughout his 63-year marriage to MJ’s mother Katherine with jumpoffs galore and even an illegitamite child, but the rumor mill is swirling with talk that ish hit the fan something serious recently at Taj Jackson’s wedding. Mama Katherine allegedly became fed up with Joe bragging about ‘all that he’s done for the family’ during the wedding reception and decided put his dirty-dog ways on blizzy blast in front of everyone. via Globe Magazine Michael Jackson’s furious mom Katherine allegedly exploded on her cheating husband Joe at a family wedding – ordering the love rat to leave the celebration and return to his 50-years-YOUNGER mistress say sources. “Go back to Vegas and your Asian bimbo!” Katherine, 83, raged, according to a source. “I don’t want you here! I’m done!” The shocking meltdown reportedly took place at the wedding of their grandson Taj, with stunned guests attending the event at the Jackson family’s Encino, Calif., mansion. “Katherine’s just fed up with Joe and his lying and cheating ways,” says the insider. “She’s put up with his antics for decades, but she just couldn’t hold back any longer. The blow-up came after Joe strolled into the wedding boasting that HE was responsible for all the family’s success. “He was bragging, ‘All this is because of me. You should be grateful for everything I’ve done for this family,’” says the source. “His comments flipped a switch in Katherine, and she just went off and let him have it for about 10 minutes. “All the raw emotions and deep hurt she has stored for years came gushing out.” Joe stayed at the bash celebrating the nuptials of Tito’s 39-year-old son with his beautiful bride Tayana, but he and Katherine had little to do with each other after that. If this is true, we’d say mama Katherine was well with in her rights to go H.A.M. on Joe after putting up with his creepin’ ways for all of those years. 63, to be exact! SMH.
When Glee Season 5 kicks off on September 19, four familiar faces will not be around to welcome viewers back to the Fox musical comedy. The network announced today (via TV Line) that the following actors/actresses will not return as series regulars: Heather Morris (Brittany) Mark Salling (Puck) Amber Riley (Mercedes) Harry Shum, Jr. (Mike) In related news, Dianna Agron – who scarcely appeared as Quinn on Glee Season 4 – is not slated to make any appearances at all in 2013-2014. It is possible that any or all of the aforementioned quartet may pop up for at least one or two episodes, but it’s too early to know for sure at the moment. Earlier this week, Fox announced its fall premiere calendar .
Amanda Bynes has officially issued her raunchiest Tweet yet – rapper Mac Miller being the lucky recipient – in yet another epic social media outburst. Last night, unprompted as always, Bynes went off about her love for plastic surgery, her renewed hatred for Drake and her apparent love of Mac Miller. Bynes, who heroically had plastic surgery to fix the “webbing” between her eyes, started off by sharing how much she hearts going under the knife. “I Love Surgery,” she wrote, adding that it was SUCH a resounding success that “I Plan On Having Surgery On My Whole Face Straight Up.” Noted. But she wasn’t done. Not even close. “Twitter Is High School For Adults,” she wrote, then proved just how true that is by saying on-off celebrity crush Drake “looks like an ugly old woman. “The only person uglier than @drake is his mom,” Bynes quipped. Ouch. Of course, she’s always hot and cold with Drizzy, adding: “I Know I Love Drake Because If He Got Parkinson’s Or Got Into Some Sort Of Accident & He Looked Different He’d Still Be The Only One I Want.” Hmm. Tuesday, she said Drake had Down Syndrome . Now Parkinson’s? Girl clearly gives a lot of thought to the Canadian rapper and serious disabilities. Anyway … as if that plus a Drake’s mom BURN didn’t give THG enough material, things got even weirder this morning when Miller tweeted at Amanda. “@AmandaBynes please murder my vagina ,” the young “Knock Knock” rapper wrote, in reference to her now-infamous Tweet to Drake. Bynes is game, apparently. She responded in kind: “@MacMiller hop on my dick.” Yes … this really happened .
