Tag Archives: masturbation

Prince Charles’ Inbred Masturbation Hand of the Day

Posted on March 18, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

You know when you swim in the same exclusive, VIP gene pool for a couple of hundred years, you’re gonna end up with some fucked up genetic disorders. It’s just the way it is and it doesnt change if you take tradition from the backwoods, add a couple of billion dollars, power and palaces, it’s still gonna fuck you up, cuz that’s nature and I guess nature’s way of punishing you people for being elitast cunts… All that to say, maybe Prince William and Kate Middleton will be taking over the thrown sooner than later, cuz no one wants a king with Elephantitis…or at even a fucking weird looking masturbation hand….. This just in… Dear Sir, I can promise you Prince Charles does not have “Elephantitis”. However, he may have Elephantiasis Thank you for your service. Spelling is overrated, as is google, wikipedia and spellcheck that just highlighted google, wikipedia and spellcheck…..Motherfuckers….you best protect your masturbation hand…. FOLLOW ME

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Winona Ryder’s Tits on Daybreak of the Day

Posted on January 19, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I always forget Winona Ryder has breasts, mainly because I always forget who Winona Ryder is. It’s not 1994. Who gives a fuck. If you are in th UK – You can watch her interview by following this link…It will probably make your masturbation to her last a hell of a lot longer…. GO Tipped off by Cosby

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Selena Gomez Starting to Slut it Up of the Day

Posted on January 12, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Here’s a recent photoshoot of Selena Gomez from Instyle. She’s wearing a sheer top. That’s pretty slutty for a teenager. I guess the lie is over and the world knows she’s like all other teenage girls and she puts out….at least she is pretending she doess for the sake of marketing, because both her and Bieber are just tools who had their parents sell their souls to big corporations to make stupid money while showcasing their babies that came out of their uteruses, making everyone feel validated in a way they want to, while making bank Sure, the ride is good for now, but it will be interesting to see what kind of insanely fucked up they become when they turn 20…I like to think this is the start of what’s to come….and no, I’m not talking about your masturbation, I’m talking about Selena Gomez progressively turning slutty…cuz they are gonna be reallly fucked up when people stop caring about them and new teens take their washed up place…. Child stardom is so fun!

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The Many Faces of Cameron Diaz of the Day

Posted on January 11, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

a href=”/cms/u.php?u=67791″> Cameron Diaz brought her long, lean, fit, old lady body I’d fuck, even if it’s not quite what it once was, because it’s better than most old lady bodies I see, maybe because she decided to be vain and not have kids, you know spending her millions on herself, living the good life traveling and partying and fucking various men, while all the other girls she went to high school with live the suburban hell life….but a face can’t always hide the hard living, the thousands of loads it has had dripping off its chin, botched botox, sun damage and a 40th birthday…Not that that doesn’t make her just as erotic as she once was, if anything the experiences that have tainted her ass, make her far more appealing, like choosing the veteran hooker over the fresh faced teenage runaway, only the masturbation version, that is if you can jerk off to a bitch in a red dress, which you can, cuz you grew up on comic books and Green Horney Hornet is all the porn you need….before realizing Seth Rogan is in it….cuz he fucking sucks…

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Halle Berry’s Baby Carrying Ass of the Day

Posted on December 20, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Comments Off on Halle Berry’s Baby Carrying Ass of the Day

I don’t know what possessed me to post these pictures of Halle Berry’s baby carrying ass, but I think it is because I like the contrast between an ass I want to fuck and the baby foot I don’t want to ever be the father of to throw me off and make jerking off to these pics more challenging. Trust me, if I had the opportunity to knock Halle Berry up, I’d be right up there like my fellow Montrealer, but I know that would never really be a reality for me, so on a fantasy level, I like to keep baby feet on any level out of my masturbation, that’s not to say these pcitures are worth jerking off to, if you were capable of jerking off to this you’d be a versatile man, it’s just a nice reminder that there’s more to a nice ass than meets the eye….and that a nice ass can be ruined with a crying baby you know that crawled out of it is in the room as a constant reminder of where that ass has been…. I don’t know what I am getting at here, but I do know it’s a waste of your time. I’d apologize but luckily you aren’t reading.

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Ashley Greene in a Solid Publicity Stunt of the Day

Posted on September 29, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Comments Off on Ashley Greene in a Solid Publicity Stunt of the Day

From Twilight to movies with Miley Cyrus to the Jonas Brothers, this twat knows what to attach herself to to get buzz, just go for the two biggest and overhyped things 15 year old girls are masturbating to, because that way she doesn’t have to get naked for anyone but Joe Jonas, provided he’s not gay and just frotning’ to get press too….So that she can continue to be boring as fuck as she walks around fully clothed not giving me boners, even when her vagina is eager as it tries to eat her thick denim jeans… I hate this bitch, she fucking sucks and I hate you and all your 15 year old friends and family who make her think she’s got staying power…puttin her in this lazy, stagnant, plateau of boring… This is some serious fake love…let’s just hope the end comes up faster than she realizes, leaving her with roles that require her naked, cuz I’m ready for her to redeem herself with nudity, trying to get back to where she once was….cuz wherever she’s at now makes me wanna take a nap…

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Zsa Zsa Gabour is Easy of the Day

Posted on July 20, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

For those of you who have jerked off to Zsa Zsa Gabour back when she was young and hot, whether it was in reruns or looking at old pics, cuz you like your masturbation to have history, or whether you are old enough to have jerked off when the shit was happening, you know like Miss Hungary beauty contest in 1936, or her other acting gigs through the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s, cuz she was the hottest immigrant pussy who married many times cuz she was the kind of immingrant pussy people liked to pass around…this is for you….only instead of jerking off to her hot tits she is known for, you can jerk off to rape fantasies of having your way with her cuz she looks a little too weak to run….but you better act fast cuz she may die before you cum. Pics via Fame

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Ashley Green’s Titties in a Tank Top of the Day

Posted on June 25, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Everyone’s freaking out about this Ashley Green bitch, so I figured I’d post these boring pictures of her cleavage in her tank top cuz I know at least one of you weirdos is jerking off to these right now and as much as that depresses me, because you should never be able to get off to anything that isn’t naked, otherwise you are on the verge of and as awkward as it is that I some how managed to get involved in your masturbation even if it is not directly involved in it, it’s more than I want to be…. Pics via Fame

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Kristen Stewart is Horrible Looking of the Day

Posted on March 2, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

I think I should be putting Kristen Stewart on the death watch because she looks like she’s on some kind of drugs and is about to fucking die. I know this grimey disgusting stinky pussy look is her thing, but I have seen gutter street kids yelling at the brick wall while trying to clean out their crack pipe, look better and healthier than this…. I knew she was not all that good looking to begin with and that she was cast in Twilight so that all the ugly girls of America wouldn’t feel alienated by her looks and could relate and fantasize to the love story that made them all have their first teen orgasm ever, making Twilight actually pornographic material designed for teenage girls…. while taking an already ugly thing and give up on it turning it into some kind of greasy wreck of a thing you’d expect to find in a gutter, unhealthy and skinny and week makes Kristen Stewart actually pornographic material for me…but that’s just because I like my masturbation to involve girls who are ugly enough to be attainable and weak enough to be unable to run when I’ve got them cornered…I’m a romantic like that. Pics via PacificCoastNews

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Britney Spears Scary Tits Need a Bra of the Day

Posted on March 1, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Britney Spears has some wild-style nipples. It’s like they are all over the fucking place in some real sloppy fucking mess, making the rumor of her having implants a serious fucking joke, unless she did have implants and got them removed, leaving her tits this saggy, empty bag in desparate need of getting filled. I really can’t imagine anyone being able to jerk off to this shit, but then again, that’s probably giving you a little too much credit, cuz if there is a will there’s a way. I will say that these are the kind of tits, if you do jerk off to, you end up really questionning yourself with shit like “did I really just cum to that?”. “What’s wrong with me?”, “Has it got so bad that I got no standards in my masturbation too?”….kinda thing… But I guess it is Britney and here are the pics… Bonus that’s not really a bonus – some pictures of her ass crack…. Pics via Fame

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