Tag Archives: masturbation

A Still from Shakira’s New Music VIdeo of the Day

Shakira’s last video was masturbated to everywhere. Seriously, it had so many views on Youtube that there was no way a gang of fucking perverts didn’t have shit on repeat. I think more people saw that video than are actually on the interent daily, it’s lik every Internet user saw the shit 18 times and that’s just not fucking normal, so I can assume that since she’s slutted out to get our attention again after years of being off the radar and already having us hooked, her next video will be some romantic bullshit for the girls to jerk off to, cuz girls look for different things in their masturbation, like emotion, while all I want is to see her South American booty bounce….and she’s already done that…. Either way, here’s a still from the shoot with Rafael Nadal. He plays tennis and I am not even sure that’s Shakira….but they say it is so let’s just pretend…. Pics via Bauer

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A Still from Shakira’s New Music VIdeo of the Day

Mischa Barton…Lookin’ Good Sweetheart of the Day

I don’t really know what’s going on here. We’ve established bitch has given up on life without actually giving up on life and further proof wasn’t really needed to demonstrate how hurting she actually is but I just couldn’t help myself…I guess this is like a goodbye to all the masturbation material she has provided over the years, even though the only scene worth masturbating to over the years was the under the bed as the dead, puke covered girl who fucked with her dad enough to piss off her mom in the Sixth Sense….

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Mischa Barton…Lookin’ Good Sweetheart of the Day

New York Gov. David Paterson’s Scandalous, Sexxy, Spanish Fly Steakhouse Dinner: Cheating?

Hot and meaty: The New York Post is claiming an exclusive on Governor David Paterson having a wildly flirty, inappropriate dinner with a young, pretty Latin woman in a Jersey steakhouse that’s suggestive of an affair.

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New York Gov. David Paterson’s Scandalous, Sexxy, Spanish Fly Steakhouse Dinner: Cheating?

What’s Tiger Doing in Sex Rehab? Benoit Denizet-Lewis Knows

NYT-approved literary sex addict Benoit Denizet-Lewis has a source at the Mississippi sex rehab clinic Tiger Woods is supposedly at. And he’s definitely there, says Benoit, who apparently becomes a tabloid reporter when sex addiction is at stake.

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What’s Tiger Doing in Sex Rehab? Benoit Denizet-Lewis Knows

Olivia Wilde Is Looking Mighty Tasty

It looks like Olivia Wilde has decided to choose between being a hottie or a nottie and brought her best face forward at the Fox All-Star Party the other night. Finally! This girl has been confusing my masturbation memory banks for at least a year now so I’m glad we can finally move on to bigger and better things. Speaking of bigger and better, House is doing well, I think Fox should give her a boobie bonus

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Olivia Wilde Is Looking Mighty Tasty

In Existence: Carrie Prejean Nude Photo, Sex Tapes Galore

For the record: we don’t care that Carrie Prejean is against gay marriage. We find that stance close-minded and cruel, but she’s entitled to the opinion.

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In Existence: Carrie Prejean Nude Photo, Sex Tapes Galore

Palin Will Again Enrage Liberals in 140 Characters or Less

Hey liberal elites: Have you for the last few months wanted to get angry about something Sarah Palin wrote, but couldn’t find the time/energy to read complete sentences made of real words? You’re in luck.

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Palin Will Again Enrage Liberals in 140 Characters or Less

Carrie Prejeans Explains the Real Reason TMZ Didn’t Post Her Sex Tape: It’s Underage Porn

Of all the excuses and explanations Carrie Prejean made for her sex tape on Hannity last night, only one—that she was a teenager when she made the video—makes sense. For TMZ, that is. When the news broke that TMZ had a Carrie Prejean sex tape, but was making the magnanimous editorial decision not to air the “racy” video, the only possible explanations were either 1.

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Carrie Prejeans Explains the Real Reason TMZ Didn’t Post Her Sex Tape: It’s Underage Porn

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Jerk-Off Crystal for Bros

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