Phew. That was a close one, folks. It took a healthy diet, the money to afford a personal trainer and the removal of a baby from her womb, but Kourtney Kardashian has finally got her bikini body back. Oh, happy day! The latest issue of Life & Style is dedicated to this breaking news, as various bikini photos of the reality star grace the tabloid’s pages. “Her figure is amazing,” an insider gushes to the magazine, adding that Kourtney is a Size 2 again. How did she achieve her weight loss goal? In three words: Easy Salmon Recipe . In a couple more: calorie control. When she was breastfeeding Mason, Kourtney admits she “craved sweets” and “ate a box of Nilla Wafers a day.” But she’s avoided this same dangerous fate while nursing Penelope. And the results are incredible, sources confirm. “Kourtney really has no fat on her body,” the friend tells Life & Style . “She looks great!” That my be true. But she is still stuck with Scott Disick in her bed.
Wooooooow Government Declines To Press Criminal Charges Against HSBC Bank Following Admission Of Money Laundering To Drug Cartels Think the alleged U.S. “war on drugs” applies just as much to corrupt corporations that make millions as it does to everyday piff-puffers? Well, you might want to think again. A recent settlement to the tune of $1.9 million between the U.S. Assistant Attorney General and big ballin’ financial giant HSBC has more than a few fans of that ooooo-wee giving the government a mean side-eye. via Rolling Stone If you’ve ever been arrested on a drug charge, if you’ve ever spent even a day in jail for having a stem of marijuana in your pocket or “drug paraphernalia” in your gym bag, Assistant Attorney General and longtime Bill Clinton pal Lanny Breuer has a message for you: Bite me. Breuer this week signed off on a settlement deal with the British banking giant HSBC that is the ultimate insult to every ordinary person who’s ever had his life altered by a narcotics charge. Despite the fact that HSBC admitted to laundering billions of dollars for Colombian and Mexican drug cartels (among others) and violating a host of important banking laws (from the Bank Secrecy Act to the Trading With the Enemy Act), Breuer and his Justice Department elected not to pursue criminal prosecutions of the bank, opting instead for a “record” financial settlement of $1.9 billion, which as one analyst noted is about five weeks of income for the bank. The banks’ laundering transactions were so brazen that the NSA probably could have spotted them from space. Breuer admitted that drug dealers would sometimes come to HSBC’s Mexican branches and “deposit hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash, in a single day, into a single account, using boxes designed to fit the precise dimensions of the teller windows.” This is a shady azz situation if we’ve ever heard of it. People get popped and sent to drop the soap everyday for wayyyyy less than what this money-hungry company managed to pull off AND admit to….and they barely get a slap on the wrist?? That’s that isht we don’t like!
Lindsay Lohan needs professional help like whoa and wants to see a psychiatrist to keep her out of jail (and for her general well being), but reportedly lacks the money to do so. Someone apparently doesn’t have good health insurance. “Lindsay is overwhelmed at the prospect of going back to jail and believes that a psychiatrist can help her through this trying time of her life,” says a Lohan insider. “However, Lindsay has a huge problem … she literally has no money.” How is that possible, you ask? Well, the IRS seized her bank accounts for one … and the cost of therapy is expensive if you’re hurting financially, which she is. “Her health insurance would only pay about 20 percent of the mental health bills, and the doctors that she wants to see charge $250-300 an hour,” the insider added. Fair enough, but Lohan is said to have earned $2 MILLION over the past 12 months. Where does that money go? Isn’t she working a lot? So many unanswered questions. This news comes on the heels of a report that Lohan is so broke she can’t pay $8,000 in rent – and money woes aren’t the extent of her problems, either. Lindsay’s probation, related to her shoplifting conviction, was formally revoked last Wednesday morning, after she was charged with lying to cops after her June car crash. “Prosecutors are going after Lindsay with a vengeance this time because of her flagrant disregard for the law,” the source previously said of the 26-year-old actress. “The LA City Attorney’s office will present evidence to Commissioner Jane Godfrey that Lindsay has a long storied history of lying to cops and of general lack of respect.” Lindsay’s agents and managers “just wish she would have taken these steps to take accountability for her life before her back was against the wall. Lindsay is her own worst enemy.” Her spiritual adviser will pen a letter urging a judge to sentence her to counseling instead of eight months in jail … but if she can’t pay for it, what’s the point? Jail’s rent free, as far as we know. Taxpayer dollars at work, babe! Lindsay Lohan: Lock ‘er up? Yes, that train wreck brat will never learn otherwise! No, quit trying to make an example out of her, haters! View Poll »
And yes, it’s actually a decent discount this time.. Walmart To Cut Prices For iPhone And iPad During The Holiday Season If you were hoping to get your hands on an iphone or ipad sometime soom without making it rain with your rent money, you just might be in luck. Walmart recently announced plans to sell the gotta-have gadgets at a discounted price during the holiday season. via CNN Money If you’re looking for the cheapest iPhone or iPad that isn’t used, Wal-Mart is the first place you should turn this holiday season. The retail giant announced plans Friday to offer the 16 GB iPhone 5 for $127 (normally $189.97) and the 16GB iPhone 4S for $47 (normally $87.97), along with a two-year contract. They’ll also sell the third-generation iPad for $399. While it was reported elsewhere that Wal-Mart is discounting the recently announced fourth-generation iPad, a Wal-Mart spokesperson confirmed with CNNMoney that it is, in fact, the third-generation model, which has a less powerful CPU. See? You really DIDN’T have to join the Black Friday stampede of animalistic people thirsting for discounted goods.
RG2 says Rob Parker was just trying to “stir things up” with his comments regarding Robert Griffin III’s race “situation.” Via ProFootballTalk: Robert Griffin III has yet to specifically respond to Rob Parker’s bizarre rant regarding RG3′s refusal to be defined by his race. Griffin’s father, however, has. “He needs to define what ‘one of us’ is,” Robert Griffin Jr. told Jim Corbett of USA Today. “That guy needs to define that. I wouldn’t say it’s racism. I would just say some people put things out there about people so they can stir things up. “Robert is in really good shape on who he is, where he needs to get to in order to seek the goals he has in life . . . so I don’t take offense.” RG2 hit the nail on the head when he said “stir things up.” Parker’s comments flowed directly from ESPN’s desire to “embrace debate” via the only aspect of the now-defunct Cold Pizza show that was even remotely interesting. Comments like Parker’s don’t pop up out of thin air. Every segment of First Take is planned, with producers finding topics on which the on-air personalities either genuinely disagree or can be coaxed into disagreeing. As MDS pointed out last night, the segment in question started with RG3′s comments regarding his desire to not be identified by race. The producers picked the subject. The producers knew — or at least should have known — what Parker was going to say. The entire excursion is a product of the format, which ESPN president John Skipper recently defended in an interview with SportsBusiness Journal. “It’s just another show,” Skipper said of First Take. “It’s not journalism. Nobody goes, ‘Gee, look how awful it is that CBS does these awful reality shows. Doesn’t that taint their great news organization?’ We have seven networks. There’s 8,760 hours per year. We’re programming 50-60,000 hours per year. . . . But people say, ‘Gee, that awful debate that you’re doing, how can the great SportsCenter coexist with the debate of First Take. I don’t know, how do infomercials coexist with the great journalism they’re doing someplace else?” First of all, when has anyone recently accused SportsCenter of being “great”? Second, the CBS reality shows aren’t filmed on a set that looks a lot like the set of the CBS Evening News. Third, Skipper has done quite well for himself, considering that he is unable to come up extemporaneously with any quality synonyms for the word “awful.” Finally, infomercials rarely include content that the network later must acknowledge was inappropriate. Thoughts??
SMH Man Robs A Bank Wearing A Mitt Romney Mask The election might be over, but Money Mitt isn’t out of the limelight just yet. Although, he may want to be given the latest ridiculousness attached to his name……and his face. via NBC News A man wearing what appears to be a Mitt Romney mask robbed a Virginia bank yesterday — the same bank hit by a robber in a Hillary Clinton mask two years ago. But that’s not the only reason the FBI is calling the holdup unusual. The robbery at a Wells Fargo in Sterling was not the standard grab-and-go. The gun-wielding robber, wearing the mask and a Florida State sweatshirt, got money from one teller, but apparently that wasn’t enough. He went teller to teller until he took from all five. People really need to get hobbies. Legal ones. SMH.
Hugh Grant must be a talented actor because when he’s simply being himself, he comes off as a serious a-hole. The source? None other than Jon Stewart , the anchor of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, for my money, a more trusted news source than CNN. The website Third Beat is reporting comments that Stewart made on Friday while being interviewed by his Comedy Central colleague Stephen Colbert at a fundraiser for the Montclair Film Festival in New Jersey. During this candid chat, Stewart revealed that his least favorite guest of all time is Grant, who apparently has not been on the show since 2009 thanks to his hostile off-camera behavior. And Stewart vowed to “never” have him on again. A clip of that appearance which ET.com posted is below (via Comedy Central), and what’s remarkable is that on-camera, Grant comes off like the smug-but-charming rake that he often plays in movies (and the Murdoch phone-hacking scandal). He needles Stewart, but the interplay seems good natured. The situation was much more unpleasant behind the scenes, however. Although Stewart explained that Daily Show producers have dealt with “dictators on the show,” Grant was “giving everyone shit the whole time, and he’s a big pain in the ass.” The actor, who was appearing on the show to promote his film with Sarah Jessica Parker , Did You Hear About the Morgans? also angrily complained about the film clip that played during his segment, despite the fact that it had been supplied by the film’s publicist. Stewart told Colbert that Grant groused, “What is that clip? It’s a terrible clip.” It’s unclear whether Stewart said the following directly to Grant or as an aside to Colbert, but the Daily Show anchor’s response was, “Well, then make a better fucking movie.” Reps for Stewart and Grant did not respond by post time. [ Third Beat , ET.com ] Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.
Money for Hurricane Sandy relief was not the only thing raised in Madison Square Garden last night. So were many eyebrows in response to Kanye West’s attire. Despite performances by The Rolling Stones ; Roger Waters and Eddie Vedder ; Bon Jovi and many others, the rapper was the talk of Twitter not long after his performance. But not for anything he said or sang. For the leather skirt he wore: The outfit has already inspired a Twitter account (@KanyesSkirt), as well as questions over whether West raided the wardrobe of Kim Kardashian . What do you think of the attire on Kanye? So hot! So very not! View Poll »
