Lucy Mecklenburgh is some UK chick on some show that gets a lot of attention called The Only Way is Essex, which seems to be about a gang of trashy sluts who want to be Glamour Models, but I could be wrong, because let’s face it, I don’t care enough to find out, what I do care enough about is to stare at her tight body on the beach in a mesh top showing nipples, because let’s face it, I wasn’t breast fed as a child and love all tits, even if they are from the UK, the land of fat, grey skinned girls who make these average looking pussies famous for being hot, even when not hot. Like fucking the least fat girl out of a group of fat girls…if you know what I mean. To See The Rest of the Pics FOLLOW THIS LINK
Olympic figure skater Sasha Cohen as at some dude named Victor Weir-Voronov’s pool party this past weekend, and like most pool parties, she got into a bikini, only at this party, she decided to pose for a group shot like a fucking boss, you know at the right angle to show off her fit round ass an ass she clearly knew she had, because most girls in bikinis who aren’t so confident about their ass posing, usually have a sarong or towel or oversized t-shirt to compensate, even when their asses aren’t half bad. All this to say, this is just another example of athletic girls in to fitness because it is their livelihood, squatting their way into an ass I’d like to chip my tooth on. Seriously, I love fit booty, and this one blows my fucking mind, unlike trying to masturbate to figure skating back when it was on the only channel I had, because along with tennis and swimming, the camel toe and panty flash is there, but so hard to time right your orgasm to right…
Bikini model Miranda Kerr posted these bikini pics to her Instagram…. I am guessing she’s hired a publicist now that her gig with Victoria’s Secret is up and she’s out there trying to promote herself as hard as she can so that all her riding Victoria’s Secret marketing budget to become a celebrity the last 6 years doesn’t go to fucking waste. You know, because she’s at her peak and can either ride the status quo as she slowly gets fatter and older. Or she can break free and create her own destiny, that will either collapse and she has enough money to still live the good life with her rich actor husband, or work and she will make a name for herself as someone who isn’t just a Victoria’s Secret model, whether through acting or modelling, just anything that isn’t Victoria’s Secret. So she’s been out there posting all kinds of pics from shoots, that are all a lot like her Victoria’s Secret shit, but I guess we should give her time to find her own style and sound. Like when she WENT OFF AND GOT NAKED FOR VOGUE … She’s even gone on Fox and Friends to show off her flexibility to the Republicans….What won’t this girl do… There is hope….
I don’t know about you, but I hate all the negativity going around the world today. It’s like when you turn on the news, or hit any website everyone is hating, and as a professional critic, who is confused as a hater, when really I don’t care, sometimes I think it’s okay to celebrate people and their stunts…that may not pan out how they wanted them to pan out, you know a fail at the task at hand, while in turn are just a fucking win. If this girl made the roof to pool jump as she wanted to, no one would know she did, it would never hit the internet, so the fact that she didn’t make it, is why we do. So call it a fail, I see it as a hit not a miss, and anything involving pain and bikinis work for me.
I am not a fan of January Jones . I mean sure I appreciate any bitch who has an unwanted pregnancy and doesn’t sell out the sperm donor involved, because that’s just decent of her, I mean if I knocked up a pitch, I’d want her to pretend it never happened and raise it like it was a fatherless bastard, because it is, even if I live down the street, or hall, just don’t get me involved. I guess I also tend to like any girl who is hyped up because of her tits, you know give her one reason to matter, and make that reason be her bra size. It’s just a perfect level of objectification that makes things feel like old times, when women were nothing by the host body of tits and pussy. But based on this topless scene, it turns out that January Jones’ tits were just hollywood movie magic….and are in fact not anything worth celebrating. I mean how can tits people made a big deal about for so long turn out to be such a disappointment, this is worse than bringing home big tits, to find out it was all bra…because the girl you brought home with you was punished and will live with the stain that is having had sex with you forever, while January Jones just keeps on making the big bucks to support her single mother household. I get it, she breast fed, lost the baby weight, and all that other bullshit, but these half empty sandwich bags of asymmetrical flesh, are the fucking worst…I mean those nipples are a whole lot of weirdness going on…what a shame…get implants. Here’s the clip. Here are the pics…I think I see bush…which saves this whole scene…cuz I fucking love bush….
Natalia Vodianova is a pretty major Russian model who never had to do the whole mail order bride or cam girl shit, because she’s in her 30s, and managed to escape that shit thanks to being one of the hottest fucking models around. One who can live the billionaire life, without having to THis shoot isn’t naked, or really all that exciting, but she looks good, especially in those Debbie Does Dallas style shorts that remind me of masturbating in the 80s, when she was growing up, and luckily that’s enough. It just amazes me that she’s got 3 kids….but still looks like this. It’s almost unnatural and I’d almost hate to see the condition of her pussy, and by hate, I mean I’d love give it a full examination with my mouth.
Natalia Vodianova is a pretty major Russian model who never had to do the whole mail order bride or cam girl shit, because she’s in her 30s, and managed to escape that shit thanks to being one of the hottest fucking models around. One who can live the billionaire life, without having to THis shoot isn’t naked, or really all that exciting, but she looks good, especially in those Debbie Does Dallas style shorts that remind me of masturbating in the 80s, when she was growing up, and luckily that’s enough. It just amazes me that she’s got 3 kids….but still looks like this. It’s almost unnatural and I’d almost hate to see the condition of her pussy, and by hate, I mean I’d love give it a full examination with my mouth.
Champagne Facials are an amazing and highly popular trend that Mel B is probably too old to be participating in…. But the one very valuable lesson I have learned from my trip to Florida, is that old ladies like to have fun, especially when they are recently divorced and living off their rich husband’s alimony and child support and spend a lot of time tanning, wearing bikinis and working out. I’m talking seeing moms and daughters at the beach, in matching bikinis, almost equally hot, only to hit the bar at the end of the day, to get wasted together, collectively looking for cock. I mean the kind of women who would mud wrestle or wet t-shirt if the option was there, because really, we only live once, who gives a fuck. So today, seeing Mel B holding on with Champagne facials, in a bikini, has a whole new meaning… TO SEE HER IN A RED BIKINI IN MALIBU FOLLOW THIS LINK
SARA SAMPAIR is some Portuguese model who you may or may not know from the Victoria’s Secret catalog you are subscribed to since the 90s under a fake chick name, that still comes to your door every month, and that you re-visit when you’re bored of porn and feel like reliving 1992, but you probably wouldn’t recognize her, because despite being awesome, fit and amazing in a bikini, all their models are shot the same, in the same pose, and it’s hard to really tell them apart…until today, today she’s posing for L’Officiel Turkey, in a bikini, that is so different than WHEN SHE MODELS THIS , it’s like we’re looking at a whole new person… THat said, I kinda PREFER WHEN SHE’S CLIMBING THE MODEL LADDER NAKED
