In Mexican weather girl news, here is a clip from one of our finest, even if I haven’t been to Mexico in 4 decades, I’m still fucking Mexican people, showing her camel toe on the job. I figure it’s just typical Mexican vagina behavior, you know hungry for tight pants, while waiting to be off the air to fill the void with semen, in efforts to have 15 kids to make the new pope proud. They start young, they keep it Catholic, but at least they give us a glimpse into their vaginas world, before it is too late and they are too fat to bother with. Making me a fan of this thickness and her pussy lips.
Raving has gone mainstream. It has lost its soul of illegal parties where ugly people have drug overdoses, while massaging each other in fun fur, or dancing to bad music all night. I used to go to those parties because being an alcoholic pervert, it was a good place to drink until 10 am surrounded by underage girls on E who were into gettin’ down and they always smelled like shit. Now all the suburban mall shoppers the real ravers of the 90s would probably hate, are eating this raver shit up, they are even dropping the word PLUR, like they went back to 1997 and raided all the socially awkward nerd freaks who needed to be bullied in their raver cloud. The good thing about things going mainstream, isn’t that the DJs now make 100k a night, it is that the quality of pussy involved in it, running to see their favorite dubstep or techno or house DJ, like a gang of gays on poppers….is that the pussy is hotter than it bottom feeding disgusting it used to be. I mean sure there were always babes at clubs, and big scale parties, so maybe this is nothing new….but the college girls who would be normally doing a wet t-shirt contest at a frat party are into this now and that’s kinda weird to me. Here are the best, (first) 40 pics I found of crackhead girls half naked club girls in Miami, for the Ultra Music Festival, dancing to shitty DJs who get paid more than the Rolling Stones, because they are trendy and mainstream. They probably smell like 24 hours of sweaty dancing in their vaginas and I like that cuz when I used to go to raves, the girls were fucking meth scabbed, fat, and not the hot girls who were shopping at the gap. Here are some girls havin’ some fun…
I’ve been a fan of these SFW / PG Porn videos and pictures since I fist saw the crude MS Paint sketches over porn pics a long time ago. Whether the PG Porn is just a comedic take on porn….or if it is a take on acts that happen on a porn set….or if it is an animation over actual porn…shit’s funny and worth watching Here are the best 3 PG Porn videos I found today…but keep in mind…I didn’t look too hard. 3- THis one is straight from Diesel Jeans and it’s a pretty genius marketing campaign that isn’t necessarily original, cuz PG porn has been going on for a while, but it is pretty fucking funny regardless. 2- Here’s SFW Porn with Jenna Haze, that is pretty much real porn, but without the sex. Turning the porn into a rock opera musical. 1- The freaks over at GGW break down some classic porn stunts from Creampies, Squirts, and Salad Tossing….with a couple of babes…clever enough for me to watch cuz the girls are in bikinis….
Her name is Jessica Sutta, you’ve probably never heard of her. She is an ex-Pussycat doll, who is now taking a shot at her own Solo career. You know up on some Beyonce shit, only the low budget version, because no one knows who the fuck Jessica Sutta is. More importantly, based on the way she looks, sloppy body, hard face and all. She’s probably pushing 40. She is in Miami at the Ultra Music Festival, where she’s going to be premiering some of her life changing shitty club music, and obviously she took the opportunity to get some paparazzi bikini time, because what the fuck else is she gonna do to promote her senior citizen home tour. Take what you can get and luckily, thanks to the bikini, I have no problem staring. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
NUTS is pretty much a titty fetish magazine that pretends to be a men’s magazine in efforts to get advertisers. A strategy that works. Their latest amazing journalism is the “Best New Boobs” issue. Which I assume features new boobs, boobs you have never seen, or that are new to the boob scene. This Stacey Poole chick is just ridiculously busty though. I am talking medically and structurally not sound. So big it doesn’t make sense and makes me think their is something wrong with her in a freak of nature shit and I’m loving it. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FROM THE SHOOT FOLLOW THIS LINK
Shiri Appleby, who is currently pregnant, is really putting a lot of effort into getting noticed in the celebrity world. She had a taste of fame in the 90s, or whenever that show Roswell was on, and she’s coming back for more. This time, doing it the right way, which is also the bottom feeding, attention seeking, hooker way, that is actually pretty easy to pull off. Here are the 10 steps to getting famous when already in LA, and already semi established because you’ve had a recurring role on a TV show at one point or another in your career, even if it was a fucking decade ago. Step 1 – Hire the paparazzi to take pics of you in your bikini on the beach even if you are pregnant . Pregnancy is counter productive to this whole step by step thing, but if rich sperm comes around, take it, and smear it on your cervix as best as you can. It is a better retirement plan than love level celebrity. Step 2 – Leak a nude pic , pretend it isn’t you like you were that fat girl Kat Deeley, or Vanessa Hudgens or the countless other girls who were in movies, but in backseat roles who needed to step up for themselves and scream “Look at me I’m Here” Step 3- Get cast on a really popular show, even if you don’t get paid. Especially if that show has a nude monster of a woman in it, I am talking a real ditch pig who shouldn’t even be naked when she’s alone and showering, let alone nude on TV. Even the most desperate of people wouldn’t be eager to fuck her, or fantasize about her on TV. But she wrote the show so the producers (Judd Appatow) give her the chance to feed that ego like she was Gaga. You know, always the ugly one, finally making a stand while the hot girls she envied are busy being hot. While she’s finally sexualized herself like she was hot, because ultimately, it is her fucking show. More importantly, Girls and Lesbians relate to ugly girls more than they do to hot girls, because girls are all insecure. Step 4 – Get naked on that really popular show, a show that empowers women, even if you don’t get paid, because anything is better than the ditch pig who normally gets naked in the show, making you, even if you’re the hottest, you’re fucking hotter than that thing Lena Dunham. (I watched the clip until the point where she said “I can love your dick and not be a whore” and realized this shit is not for me. It is written by girls and represents everything I hate. Low quality, obvious commentary, fake edgy, fuck yourself Lena Dunham for producing this empowering crap, that is just crap.) Step 5 – Repeat until people who aren’t the virgin losers who love you, never forget you, because Roswell was their life, notice. Shiri Appleby got this formula down. Let’s see what happens.
It is the Ultra music festival in Miami….which is essentially just a group of party kids taking over Miami during Spring Break…to party like idiots for a few days…to the “best” DJs and rappers in the fucking world….and these dude decided to head out there with a jar of Nutella and a few 20 dollar bills to spread in a booty of a willing girl….and lick it off cuz girls will do do anything for either a video camera or…..20 bucks….. This may be ridiculous….but the real question I have in all this is why am I not the dude making videos like this…I’ve failed myself….
Miley Cyrus is going through a real hard time right now….you know her fiance of a few months, who I assume she was marrying for citizenship purposes, you know to keep the Australian around….since getting married at 12 years old is a horrible idea…unless it is to fuck immigration laws up….so she’s taken her young, fit body and lesbian haircut to some retreat to deal with the pain in her heart now that he’s fled back to Australia….and I’m a little disappointed…I thought her body was better than this…I was expecting a Miley bikini to blow my fucking mind…while the only thing that has blown my mind is coming to terms with the fact that I know anything about her relationship status….I know more about her love life than I do about the size, shape, dimensions of her labia….and that’s fucking weird. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
Retired Glamour model…turned bodybuilder….is back…to Glamour Modeling…because being a pro body builder, not only takes away all your sex appeal you career and fake tits are based on….but also doesn’t pay the motherfucking bills…the fact that she retired, when she’s an attention seeking hooker, is just comical, because based on her look, what the fuck else is she gonna do with herself to pay her bills…I mean if it’s not topless modeling and it’s not porn…she might as well not exist… So I’m glad to see this shoot, that’s actually kinda hardcore for the Lad Mags….who are pushing the limits of what they are allowed to do before being considered smut…and I’m pretty into it…especially when it involves this clown lookin’ throwback model who keeps comin’ back to this life…cuz it is all she knows….and feels like home…. I’m into it….
Miranda Kerr, like all hookers, is peddling some bullshit, that she probably gets a percentage of sales on, because why the fuck not use you celebrity like you were Diddy and branch out in everything to push the 100,000,000 dollar mark….cuz getting paid 10 million a year to just pose for Victoria’s Secret, isn’t challenging enough, and when you’re a model the window is only so big…that you gotta plan for a retirement…and who the fuck cares…it involves her posting pics of herself in the shower in a bikini like we are in High School….at a party…where the girls aren’t quite ready to throw down…but are interested in the concept of showering with you…at least that’s how it played out for me….but now, if a shower opportunity arrises amongst friends…I don’t do this PG shit…I demand nudity…the way showers are meant to be had… I also thew in some Vogue Australia pics cuz she’s lovely to look at….
