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Jersey Shore Recap: She’s Finally Outta Here!!!

Posted on February 11, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

This week’s Jersey Shore marked the departure of Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola. A permanent exist, we think – and hope – after the fight to end all fights. As much as we aren’t sorry to see her go, we’ll give her this much – she went out in style after a blowout with Ronnie Magro that exceeded even their standards. This comprised most of the memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode, as we’ve broken down, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below: BOILING POINT: Ron wants Sam’s stuff out of here … with her on top of it. Ronnie confronts The Situation for violating guy code. Funny how, like Sammi pointing the finger at JWoww and Snooki, they always blame others. Minus 5 . Able to see the big picture (take note, Ron), Sitch “takes the high road” and apologize to ensure it doesn’t end in a brawl. Plus 4 for his surprising maturity. He hits the boardwalk to cool off, unaware that Sammi is also heading there with Deena, who “loves single Sammi!” Who loves anything Sammi!? Minus 6 . Sam tells Ron that she’s “never been so hurt” in her entire life as she was in Miami. Ron politely tells her he’s done paying for that and to suck it. Plus 8 . “I’m going to go out there and find the hottest guy in this bar and get Ron back for talking to a girl,” says Sam. Minus 5 for sounding like a petulant, whiny b!tch and Minus 12 for the fact that the “hottest guy” may be a homeless man. Plus 11 for JWoww’s porn star getup here: SEXY JWOWW : Snooki likely isn’t the only one with wood. Snooki: “Jenni looks so hot. Like porn star hot. If Roger wasn’t here then I would probably have sex with her.” Snooki may actually be a man. Plus 8 . She actually asks if she can watch, too. Gross. Minus 5 . Roger sums it up nicely: “Awright, let’s go push.” Plus 9 . Ronnie: “What I did in Miami, at least I had enough respect for you to do it when you’re not around.” He’s right, that totally makes it better. Minus 6 . Pauly notes that Ronnie has kind of a temper. That’s like saying Pauly has kind of awesome hair or The Situation kind of has a six pack. Plus 4 . Things boil over between Ronnie and Sammi to the point where they both have to be physically restrained. Minus 5 , because this is just getting sad. Until Ronnie starts TRASHING HER STUFF and threatening to start boning up a storm with girls in the smash room. Now that’s more like it. Plus 27 . Minus 9 for Snooki’s bed/stairway/Vinny schlong analogy, though. SAYING GOODBYE: It’s been real, Sam. Please don’t come back. Sitch: “This was probably the worst fight I’ve ever seen. Like a five-car crash; horrible, but you can’t keep your eyes off it. Plus 10 , ’cause it’s true. Minus 14 for this metaphor by MTV: “Everything is destroyed of mine,” she says. “Everything is broken and ruined.” Her emotions AND her stuff! Get it??! The roommates hug it out as Sammi departs. We’re actually a little bit sad saying farewell to one of the original cast members. Okay, that’s over. Plus 7 . Pauly could have at least hollered “Cab’s Here!” in honor of her exit. Minus 3 . Ronnie: “I miss her and I love her and I definitely regret all the negative $h!t I’ve ever done. Definitely more now than ever.” Aww. But WE don’t! Plus 9 . TOTAL: +25. SEASON TOTAL: +177.

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Jersey Shore Recap: She’s Finally Outta Here!!!

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Jersey Shore Recap: Why is the Ocean Salty?!

Posted on February 4, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Snooki met a new juicehead, Pauly D made amends with his stalker, Ronnie bled out of a major orifice and broke up with Sam, again, on last night’s Jersey Shore. Perhaps most notable, though, was Snooki’s marine biology expertise. Thanks to Nicole Polizzi, we now know why the ocean is salty. Nasty whale sperm, obvi. This and many other memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night are broken down by THG, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below: SPECIAL EXAM: This is what it’s like for viewers watching Sammi onscreen. Things are good in the Jersey Shore house. It’s just the calm before the storm, but there’s actually no drama or active feud as the episode commences! Plus 8 . But, as Ronnie put it after a night of drinking ended with him puking like a madman as usual, it’s always “one step forward and two step backs.” Minus 5 . We’ve seen people on Jersey Shore getting probed a lot, but never like this. Plus 4 . Despite assurances that “I’ve dranken a lot more than I drank tonight,” Ron’s arse swells to the point that we’re treated to the haunting visual above. Minus 11 . Snooki fell asleep with the dogs. A more apt scenario may never transpire. Plus 7 . Deena: “It’s not Halloween. I’m not handing out candy for free. You need a golden ticket to get in these drawers.” They give those out for free, though. Minus 7 . The girls try on outfits at the sex shop. JWoww looks right at home. Plus 5 . Snooki’s exercise regimen: Masturbating all day. Snooki . Gross. Minus 3 . The Situation sums up Sammi perfectly as such: “We’re waiting for Sam, who’s straightening her hair… whose hair is already straight! Come on man! The only thing that needs to be straightened out is her brain.” Plus 17 . NEW JUICEHEAD : Jeff Miranda woos Snooki hard. We are finally introduced to douchebag Jeff Miranda , who briefly dated and tried to use Snooki for approximately 15 minutes last summer. Minus 9 . Fortunately, even Snooki’s alcohol-ransacked brain picked up on some warning signs, namely the fact that he may or may not be engaged. Plus 7 . Ronnie to Sammi: “Bitch, I cook you breakfast every morning when I get up and you don’t do (bleep) for me.” Minus 4 . Ronnie to MTV cameras: “What don’t I do for Sam, except wipe her ass and for her and breathe for her?” Minus 14 . “Hell has to be just like this.” – Vin. Or heaven? A fine line, indeed. Plus 3 . “We have no shame when we talk about sex.” – Snooki. Or anything. Minus 5 . Snooki reveals that she hates the ocean, then encourages us to Google why it’s so salty, then – spoiler alert – reveals it’s all the whale sperm. Plus 10 . ALL SMILES: Does Pauly D ever NOT look like this?! Sam to Ron: “You wanna just break up?” “That’s your answer to every problem,” Ronnie tells her. “Whatever, dude.” Breakup #190 commences … Plus 8 . Ron to Sam: “I’m the reason you’re still here. I’m the reason you got through Miami.” LOLOLOL … and wanted to leave Miami and kill herself. Minus 5 . Danielle the Stalker was back, but this time Pauly called a truce and brought her back to the house. To be mocked, sure, but still, a truce is a truce. Plus 9 . Pauly busts out the “I Love Jewish Girls” shirt. Funny, but scripted. Minus 5 . Deena: “Face down, ass up. That’s the way I have a good time.” At least she’s come to grips with this and embraced it for the amusement of all. Plus 7 . Sammi just wants “Closure, bro.” She’s worse than a rectal exam. Minus 6 . TOTAL: +9. SEASON TOTAL: +152.

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Jersey Shore Recap: Why is the Ocean Salty?!

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Nicki Minaj on Abusive Father: Scary!

Posted on January 28, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Nicki Minaj says she just wants to be remembered . For this 26-year old hip hop star, though, the only memory she has of her childhood is one in which she worried about the actions of her drug-addicted father. “All of my young and teenage early years, we lived in fear that my mother would be killed by my father,” Minaj told The Sun this week. “It was ridiculous. It made me act out to guys and be evil to them when I was growing up.” Nicki Minaj – Moment 4 Life Saying the experience made her “tough,” Nicki describes her father as “violent, physically and verbally.” Things only improved when her brother grew up and stood up to their dad. “I will cry about something, but I never let anything stop me,” Minaj says of how her childhood has shaped her. “I can’t be like my mom. I know I can cut ties and still make it. She didn’t cut ties when I felt like she should have.” While critics take issue with Minaj’s attitude, she only cares about those on Twitter who have thanked her for telling her story and giving them hope that they can also overcome obstacles. She says: “That makes me feel good. If these girls walk around thinking they are the baddest thing on the planet, I am happy. That’s my manifesto. That’s my mission statement.”

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Nicki Minaj on Abusive Father: Scary!

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Jersey Shore Recap: Sound the Grenade Whistle!

Posted on January 28, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The gang invented a new means of extracting grenades, Deena revealed her inner freak, Sammi and Ronnie came to blows (again), Snooki bought a stripper pole and so much more in an epic night of Jersey Shore debauchery. Just when you think they can’t outdo themselves once again … THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night’s installment of the MTV show, as always, in its trademark +/- recap below: SOUND THE ALARM: Vinny rescues The Situation. It’s more like a Grenade Horn, but the Grenade Whistle is a fitting prop for a group of guys so dedicated to extracting the less-attractive females. Plus 8 . Of course, they could simply not bring said females back home, so … Minus 7 . Vinny sounds the grenade whistle to rescue Sitch. What are friends for? Plus 4 . The Situation goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie and lets it slip to Sammi that Ronnie is talking to JWoww. What an instigator. Minus 6 . Snooki and Jenni bring home a couple of bitches. Pomeranians, looks like. Plus 5 . Snooki’s biggest fear after buying a stripper pole: “Wait, is it going to say ‘stripper pole’ on my credit card? Because my dad will f*%king freak.” Yes he still pays the bill. One of many new challenges for her to face on the spinoff. Minus 9 . Vinny, on his new love interest’s family showing up at the house: “What is this, ‘Romeo and Juliet’? The Capulets and the f*%king whatever?” Plus 23 . As JWoww and Roger hit it off, Tom’s no doubt plotting a nude pic release. Minus 3 . ROGER WOOS J-WOWW : She looks pretty smitten, too. Ronnie relaxes on the bed, fully satisfied and low-key, after dumping all of Sam’s possessions on the floor in a fit of rage. This is a stable relationship. Plus 27 . Minus 6 for this awesome exchange, BRO: Sammi: Don’t you touch anybody. Ronnie: I didn’t touch anybody like that. Sammi: I saw it, you f*%king idiot. Ronnie: On who? Sammi: You. Ronnie: On who did I touch like that? Sammi: You tell me, bro. You f*%king did it. But Plus 7 for Ronnie’s retort: “I hope you have a f*%king book for the apology you have to f*%kin’ write me in the morning… cry all you f*%kin’ want, your tears don’t mean s**t to me. Your tears mean d!ck to me, just so you know.” Ron WEEPS to JWoww about wanting to be happy. Get a GRIP dog. Minus 9 . “I don’t get an apology… or I’m sorry, not a hug or nothin’… I get a piece a pizza, not a f*%kin’ protein shake, pizza, of all things… REALLY?!” Really. Plus 3 . PUNCHED, DRUNK: Sammi lets Ronnie have it right in the kisser. Says wise Deena: “Karma’s a b!tch, literally.” Literally, it’s nothing. Minus 9 . Deena lets her freak flag fly pretty hard. She is into some kinky stuff. Salad-tossing, possibly. The Sitch won’t engage in activities with her lips now. Plus 10 . When a girl (JWoww) actually says “get it in” … eh, good for her. Minus only 1 . JWoww should really be in PR with all the spinning she’s doing on this. Plus 6 . The music fades out over the image of Ronnie and Sammi in bed. Man, these two are irritating. The same $h!t, over and over. Miserable people. Minus 11 . At least there was a punch thrown. Maybe they’ll both be indicted soon. Plus 15 . JWoww and Sam make up. For how long? Give it a couple of hours. Minus 8 . TOTAL: +39. SEASON TOTAL: +143.

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Jersey Shore Recap: Sound the Grenade Whistle!

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Jersey Shore Recap: If I Were Sober, I’d Be Bored

Posted on January 21, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Last night on Jersey Shore, Snooki got sprung from the can but soon reverted to her old ways, while Ronnie’s doppelganger was discovered at the club and JWoww’s relationship problems with Tom Lippolis reached a tipping point. A relatively tame episode after Snooki’s epic bender , but a good one. As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night’s installment of the MTV show in its trademark +/- recap below: WHAT A QUACK: Snooki’s dad relays his disappointment. He’s disappointed, but Snooki’s dad takes the whole thing pretty well. Guess when your daughter once sold alcohol at a party at your house, and a trashed guest crashed his car and died on the way home, you’ve seen worse. Minus 12 . When her father goes off on her with the tried and true “I’m not mad, just disappointed” bit, she says “It’s not like I killed someone.” This time . Plus 8 . His lecture was a real deterrent for at least 12 hours. Minus 4 . Wait, was JWoww wearing a “Free Snooki” tank top? Plus 7 . JWoww and Tom argue via the duck. It’s only going to get worse. Minus 4 . Ronnie and Sammi are sound asleep and therefore silent. Niiiiice! Plus 5 . They’ll wake up at some point between now and the end of time. Minus 5 . Deena tags along with the guys and fits in well, complimenting a girl’s chest, letting a girl do a shot off her stomach, allowing a girl to grind on her ass and so on. They may want to rename their crew MVPD. Plus 10 . FUN WITH FLIP VIDEOS : What else is that thing good for? JWOWW, Pauly D and Vinny shoot flip-cam videos. See above. Plus 9 . Snooki gem #1: “Every time I get really excited, like if we go to a club, I have to poop my pants. If we go to a party, I have to poop my pants, if I go on a date, I have to poop my pants.” So Snooki and fecal waste are inseparable. Minus 7 . Snooki gem #2: “This is the things I think I’m addicted to: Bronzer, boys and alcohol. I’m f@#ked up.” Yes, this is pretty much the things, Snook. Plus 6 . Fake Ronnie is just as much of a sleaze as Real Ronnie. Minus 4 . Plus 8 for Vinny’s line in which he says getting to “hang out with Ron while he’s with Sam” is the best of both worlds, though. Funny and likely true. (DUCK) CALLING IT OFF: JWoww and Tom break up. Deena and Dean get in the tub and molest each other. The next day, Sammi says, “Men are pigs.” Deena: “He [indecipherable] last night, so.” Huh? Eh, Plus 5 . Real Ron on JWoww hypocrisy: “She sees her ex-boyfriend, then calls her boyfriend, but I’m the dirtbag? She’s just a shady bitch.” He’s way worse. Minus 6 . JWoww ends it with Tom Lippolis , saying he basically drove her into the arms of Roger Williams. Plus 8 , since unlike Sam, she clearly means the word “done.” Dude stole JWoww nude pictures ! Dirtbag. Minus 7 . Plus 13 for Snooki and JWoww’s friendship. They may be trashy at times (or all the time), but there is a genuineness that we really relate to and appreciate. On Jersey Shore After Dark , JWoww says Tom was an abusive control freak who “threw her down the stairs” because he found clothes in her luggage that weren’t “acceptable.” Does she wear anything that is acceptable? It’s JWoww! Minus 10 . Bonus Plus 7 for an episode generally free of Sammi opening her mouth, and for a little breather from The Situation’s antics, much as we love the guy. TOTAL: +27. SEASON TOTAL: +104.

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Jersey Shore Recap: If I Were Sober, I’d Be Bored

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Pauly D, Ronnie, Vinny — Never Before Seen Face-Off

Posted on January 10, 2011 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Filed under: Pauly D , Vinny Guadagnino , Ronnie Ortiz-Magro , Jersey Shore TMZ has obtained the only video known to exist where you can see Miley Cyrus ‘ voice coming from the mouths of Pauly D , Vinny , and Ronnie from ” Jersey Shore ” … without the use of hallucinogenics. The video was shot last July at a booth on the… Read more

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Pauly D, Ronnie, Vinny — Never Before Seen Face-Off

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David Schwimmer and Zoe Buckman: Expecting!

Posted on December 23, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

David Schwimmer and Zoe Buckman just got married . Now they’re totally having a kid. How awesome is that? The Friends alum, who secretly wed the photographer in June is going to be a father for the first time and the pair “couldn’t be more thrilled,” his rep tells Us . Schwimmer met Buckman when he was in London directing the 2007 romantic comedy Run, Fatboy, Run; she later relocated to L.A. to be with the actor. According to a Schwimmer pal, Buckman is already “four to five months” along in her pregnancy. “They’re in London for the holidays,” the insider adds. Congratulations to the happy couple!

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Pauly D to Star in Jersey Shore Spinoff

Posted on December 23, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Jersey Shore star Pauly D, a.k.a. DJ Pauly D, a.k.a. Rhode Island’s most famous DJ, a.k.a. Paul DelVecchio, is a man who needs no introduction. It’s little surprise, then, that he just landed his own MTV spinoff series, beating out co-stars Snooki, The Situation and JWoww for that honor. “At the heart of Jersey Shore is the unique, genuine cast and Pauly D embodies both qualities,” said Chris Linn, Executive V.P. of Programming. Next year, this DJ gets to spin … off! Pauly D recently closed the series option deal after filming a pilot for 495 Productions, the company behind Jersey Shore , this past September. “He’s distinguished himself onscreen as the fun-loving, well-coiffed and dependable guy you can’t help but want to hang out with,” Linn says. “We know viewers are curious about his life away from the Jersey Shore and we look forward to exploring new possibilities around that.” Before his spinoff hits the air, Pauly will appear with his cohorts this winter. Check out the Jersey Shore Season 3 trailer for a preview!

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Pauly D Mobbed on College Campus, Cops Called

Posted on November 18, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Comments Off on Pauly D Mobbed on College Campus, Cops Called

Filed under: Pauly D , Jersey Shore , TV , Celebrity Justice Hell broke loose at the University of Rhode Island last night when Pauly D was spotted on campus — because so many students chased after the guy, that cops had to help the ” Jersey Shore ” star escape. Pauly — who’s from Rhode Island — was on campus… Read more

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‘Jersey Shore’ — The Strike Is Ovah!

Posted on July 20, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Filed under: Snooki , The Situation , Pauly D , JWOWW , MTV , TV Finally … peace in Seaside Heights — because MTV has officially announced that the ” Jersey Shore ” cast is all set for Season 3 … with one big-ass exception. Sources connected to the show tell TMZ Angelina will not be returning to “Jersey” … but… Read more

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‘Jersey Shore’ — The Strike Is Ovah!

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