As far as I am concerned…this is the new Harlem Shake…it is the new Twerk….is is the latest dance craze that perverts everywhere should be masturbating to….it is the Michelle Obama getting down with some big booty Hispanic chick on TV….to endorse making fat kids move….but all I’m seeing is sex….gyrating sex…..and I am so into it….Shake-a-dat-ass First Lady….so ready for the sex tape to drop…hopefully co-starring a little Hugo Chavez (RIP MOTHERFUCKER) pre-cancer politically leader gangbang….cuz isn’t that the whole point of the First Lady??? To lure in enemy leaders?!
In hilarious news….Melissa King, the Miss Teen Delaware girl who did a porno to finance her Miss Teen USA International Contest…and who is denying being in the porn…despite the porn company having her on camera reading her release for…and stating her name for the camera…a porn trick to have proof they aren’t shooting under age girls…but instead 18 year old idiots who have a dream and go the easiest route to get to that dream…even when that route takes away their dream….but opens new opportunities now that everyone knows her name….but not opportunities that involve doing porn for that original company….because they said she was a shitty fuck….maybe cuz she had a deer in headlights look of fear on her face the whole time she was getting fucked….but I’d still watch her fuck on camera again…I am supportive like that and believe the first time is always the worst… Oh and the joke in all this…or what people think the joke is…is that she got paid 1500 dollars to do the scene…which is pretty much industry standard, even on the high end of industry standard…and everyone is writing about how shocking that is…when I thought she did it for 500 dollars…cuz that’s all I pay the girls from Craigslist to be in my porno movies… There’s a total confusion when it comes to porn, everyday girls think girls get paid millions and the girls who do it for 1000 bucks a scene think they are famous….when all they are are girls fucking on camera like so many girls who fuck on camera… This Melissa King just has an edge cuz she had the foresight to get involved in a pageant, to create scandal and really make her porn choices count….and I commend her for that…. I broke this story thanks to my friend/insider in Delaware…I beat all the mainstream media including the local Delaware papers to it….I got no credit for it…but it was my Lewinsky…..So if you want to see her porn scene Follow THis LINK
Her name is Melissa King….She is Miss Teen Delaware 2013….I didn’t bother reading her bio ….but I did watch this video of her talking about being in foster care and how hard it is to make money for gymnastics….. Which I guess is why she did this porn…..you know broken home, need for money, craving fame, hoping a scandal that propels her to the mainstream like she was Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian….because girls these days don’t view porn the same as they once did…..they figure it’s an easy way to get noticed and make moves and one day star on a reality show…. Porn may not have the same stigma and more and more young hot girls may all wanna be porn famous…cuz they wanna compete with the girls the guys they like jerk off to….but I still love watching them perform…so I say thank god for that….and thank god for Miss Teen Delaware not doing their background checks…cuz she was doing porn in June, 3 months after turning 18, and 5 months before being crowned….hilarious…..making me think she’s more a porn chick using beauty pageants to get publicity….and not the other way around….. TO SEE HER PORN CLIP FOLLOW THIS LINK
Hey girl, did you know Los Angeles is big enough for two Ryan Goslings ? Meet Richie Calhoun, the adult actor who’s the porn industry’s go-to Gosling equivalent since he starred in the XXX parody of The Notebook , Diary of Love. Calhoun — at present, a smart blonde with big blue eyes, a degree from a top-15 U.S. News & World Report college and an address in L.A.’s very hip Echo Park neighborhood — is such a perfect match for Gosling’s lover/fighter/poet shtick that he was asked to play him again for the adult remake of Crazy Stupid Love (aka Crazy in Love ). “I understand, yes, that from a certain perspective it’s a huge compliment,” says Calhoun of being cast as the porn doppelganger for womankind’s dreamiest hunk of man meat. So the former improv comedian took the job seriously, studying The Notebook to mimic the way Gosling kisses, cries, and—yes—even dangles from a Ferris wheel. “I watched for the way he pauses during a speech, where he would look when he was talking. Just the simple little things that I needed to do to have some kind of vague resemblance to his character.” Then he boned his very own Rachel McAdams , starlet Presley Hart. No other man in Hollywood is as physically linked to Baby Goose , so in honor of the most romantic week of the year, Movieline seized the chance to ask Calhoun about Gosling’s seduction secrets and the probability of getting sex-drenched remakes of Drive and The Mickey Mouse Club. Alas, Gosling’s latest flick, Gangster Squad did so poorly at the box office that it won’t get a vintage-styled XXX salute. But Calhoun isn’t waiting around to see if The Place Beyond The Pines rates a remake. Ever the heat-seeking missile, he recently dyed his hair red to play the Sergeant Brody character in the porn parody of Homeland , which just picked up three Golden Globes . Movieline: Are you aware that Calhoun, the last name you chose for your career, is the same last name of Ryan Gosling’s character, Noah Calhoun, in The Notebook ? Was that a subliminal way to get women to like you? Calhoun: I’m aware of that now. I was not aware of that at the time. You’ll have to take my word on it. The origins of my last name were sort of random. I just like that name and I think it has a masculine sound to it with out being too bludgeony, too blunt. When I discovered [that it was the same as Gosling’s character], I realized that people would wonder what you’re wondering, and I don’t care. If you had done it on purpose, it’d have been brilliant. Yeah, but it’s not the tone I was going for with the name. I didn’t choose Timberlake or Swayze or Bieber — although people wanted me to choose Bieber and I thought about it, to tell you the truth. I considered it very seriously just because it would be provocative and funny. But ultimately, I realized that there would be a lot of under-aged girls searching for “Bieber” and I just wanted to play fair. Had you seen The Notebook before you were cast? I hadn’t. I wasn’t necessarily avoiding it, I just don’t watch a lot of movies. So I watched it once for research. I didn’t cry, although I did find it emotionally affecting. I was paying a lot more attention to Ryan Gosling’s mannerisms, so my appreciation of it was probably blunted. Could you see why that role is such a crazy turn-on for women? Sure. I could understand why that’s true of almost every role he’s taken. He does a very good job with his choice of projects: he’s a complete dick who’s actually the sweetest guy on earth. That’s pretty much every movie he’s ever been in. I think that’s a recipe for success in becoming a heartthrob—if that’s your goal. Diary of Love uses some of the same names of characters in The Notebook and even some of the same dialogue. What is the legality of that? Well, it’s certainly an area of the law that is evolving. There are parodies, and then there are remakes or homages. I think when you slip into homage, certain parody-related laws don’t apply anymore. It’s tricky. Tell me about shooting some of the iconic scenes: “Say I’m a bird!” or your big breakdown in the rain where you tell Presley you wrote her a letter every day for 365 days. I think that Presley leaps onto me probably ten times in the movie. We did a lot of that at construction sites, at the beach—those were easy to shoot. Then I had to start talking and it got harder. For the bird scene, we just marched out onto the beach and found a random hunk of beach that we could use. We got this shot where a train almost hit us. The rain scene was cool because that was actually at the end of the whole thing. We’d been shooting all day and we were hurrying because the light was changing and we were making fake rain. It was cold and we were freezing and wet. We couldn’t stand still—we were just freaking out and jumping around—so that added a lot of energy. Does your version of The Notebook envision the kind of sex those characters would have had? I think the dynamic that Presley and I have is slightly different than theirs. You’d probably get closer to the real thing if you did an animated version, though I would say Tommy Pistol [the star of Horat: The Sexual Learnings of America for Make Benefit Beautiful Nation of Kaksuckistan ] does an amazing job of getting inside his characters. I think there’s a certain similarity between me and Ryan Gosling and people can project fantasies onto whatever they’re watching. But I think, ultimately, every sex dynamic you watch is unique to those people. I wouldn’t presume to say it’s like watching Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams having sex. Did you know they were a real-life couple when they shot the movie? I didn’t know that! I think that’s charming. That’s a great move for producers and directors to try to engineer something like that. If it works, then you’ve got a legendary romance movie on your hands. You’ve also shot the Ryan Gosling role for Crazy in Love , in the porn parody of Crazy, Stupid, Love . Did you do the Dirty Dancing lift? No, we didn’t! And actually, lifting my partner in it would have been easy as pie. The Ryan Gosling/Emma Stone storyline in the porn is minimized compared to the older couple’s story, Steve Carell and Julianne Moore . Our romance didn’t occupy that much of the space, but I think the best parts of the film are Gosling as a foil to Carell—they’re sort of both ridiculous, and shooting those with Steven St. Croix were really fun. Okay, I can see how you could play the Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love and pull off being sexy. But how do you manage it when you’re playing the Steve Carell character? Well, he is sexier than Steve Carell. That’s the way porn works. Someone might not have a fantasy about the Penguin from Batman having sex with Catwoman. But if you make that porn movie, then he’s a little slimmer, he’s got abs, [but] he’s still the Penguin. True, but it’s perilous. I saw a still of James Deen dressed as Quagmire in the Family Guy porn parody, and now I’ll never be able to find him attractive in anything. In an adaptation of Drop Dead Gorgeous , I played the creepy judge with the comb-over and the Member’s Only jacket, and it was the same thing. My character is not sexy in the original—and he’s not really sexy in this film—until suddenly the sex scene, and then hopefully it’s sexy. To tell you the truth, I think you can do certain things to try to ensure that you’re projecting a sexy image versus a comedic image, but comedians do serious roles and then they go back to comedy and nobody goes, “I don’t find him funny anymore!” Interestingly, Ryan Gosling is one of the few Hollywood actors to shoot a sex scene that was deemed too hot by the censors: the NC-17 Blue Valentine . I haven’t seen Blue Valentine , I should check it out. Who’s the girl? Michelle Williams. I’m on board. Good work, sir. What other Ryan Gosling films would make good XXX features? They’ll probably do Drive . But I guess it would be hard to do all the driving sequences on a porn budget. He came of age doing the Mickey Mouse Club in the same generation as Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. Would you want to play Gosling in a porn parody of that? I don’t know that that’s mainstream enough to make a lucrative porn movie. I would think not. Furthermore, there are difficulties creating pornography that portrays anyone under 18. You could do the Smurfs because everyone assumes the Smurfs are adults, but if you did Goonies , you would have to age up the characters because you can’t portray 14-year-olds in braces having sex with each other. You’d have to make them 18 and in college. How good of a pick-up line is, “Hey girl”? I think it works just fine. I think a pick-up is everything that’s not that: whether a person is attracted to you and the rest of your dementia that would sell the line or not. But say, “Hey girl,” and then just don’t have anything else prepared—that’s a good way to do it. How do you react to being called Baby Goose? Baby Goose! That’s funny. That’s his nickname. Whose nickname!? Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling’s! I thought you were calling me a baby Gosling. I think that’s a really funny nickname. If a girl whispered that in your ear, how would you react? Am I having sex with her at the time? I wouldn’t mind. I think most people are flattered to be told by people of the opposite sex that they look like someone, if they can hear in their voice that they find them attractive. Even if it’s, “You look like John C. Reilly !” and then they kind of swoon a little. Okay, I’ll take that. I don’t know if it works the same with girls in the reverse direction, but guys, we know how to take a compliment. We’re like: “Fine. If it turns you on, that’s your business.” Do you have aspirations to cross over into mainstream acting like Sasha Grey and James Deen? Not in particular, no. Working on television for a corporation like ABC or Disney sounds like a nightmare. There’s a certain behavior contract that is formed in something like that. You can try to work a bad boy angle like Colin Farrell who just does whatever the fuck he wants. But though I like acting and acting is fun, it’s not as important to me as I think it should be for someone who’s an actor -actor. On top of that, what doesn’t appeal to me is the public scrutiny and the expectation of good behavior. I have no interest in behaving. Amy Nicholson is a critic, playwright and editor. Her interests include hot dogs, standard poodles, Bruce Willis, and comedies about the utter futility of existence. Follow Amy Nicholson on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .
I have a constant debate with CANNON SHOW about this Pornstar Christie Mack, cuz he always says she’s the hottest girl in the porn game…and I just don’t really give a fuck cuz I am desensitized to this shit….but I will say this is probably the biggest day in her life…I mean at least since this SMOKING BLOWJOB or this FACIAL …because Rihanna….Bad Girl RiRi on Instagram…just posted her ass on her instagram…and if that’s not a sign of reaching the top of the porn game…I don’t know what is….this makes all the daddy issues, being molested as a kid, and whatever else went wrong to make her a broken porn chick….worth it… I just hope one day Rihanna notices me…because this just made Christy Mack a household name and more importantly a household pussy, it’s a major fucking co-sign…this is bigger than being Bree Olson getting slammed by Charlie Sheen….which lead to her retirement from porn…that will inspire her return to porn…as that was a retard porn chick move…kinda what porn chicks are known for.
We weren’t kidding when we said that players tugging on each others’ swimsuits was a common sight in women’s water polo. Speaking of, the porn tube site XHamster has conveniently collected 66 water polo nip slips from the London games and beyond for your torch-tugging pleasure. Live XXX Girls , indeed! See the other 65 water polo nip slips over at XHamster.com
This 50 Shades of Grey movie is playing out in a very interesting way. Supposedly it’s the sexiest thing since naked women with sliced bread, but hot young starlet after hot young starlet has had her name publicly associated with the project, only to deny any involvement. Elizabeth Olsen , at least, has a good reason. The Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) star says she doesn’t want to be in the 50 Shades movie not because it’s too racy, but because it’s lame. Forget “mommy porn” and just watch porn porn, she says: ” All of a sudden, this book has become a sensation because the women reading it haven’t had access to this kind of thing before. I was talking to a guy who was making a joke about it, saying, ‘Clearly, these women just need to watch porn’. In a way, he’s right. ” So don’t take it from us, take it from Elizabeth Olsen — watching Mr. Skin’s Horny Hot Hardcore Clips playlist is good for you, so click away, ladies (and gents)!
We’ve seen Belladonna in some compromising positions over the years- including the last time she said she was going to retire from porn , then changed her mind less than a month later . Now the AVN Hall-of-Famer known for her outrageous anal antics has once again announced that she will hang up her dildos (on camera, anyway) and retire from porn…for good. Early last week, Belladonna announced on Twitter that ” I am no longer interested in having sex on camera. That chapter of my life is finished. I’m ready for my next challenge. ” What will that challenge be, exactly? She went on to clarify: ” The things I will be spending my time doing are: aerial silks, school, acting, dancing and of course being the best mother I can be. I haven’t had sex on camera since January and have been thinking about this transition for sometime now. ” We’ll see if she ends up with her foot in her mouth this time around. Skin Central saw her do that in a video once… See Belladonna in action in nude pics and clips, including Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge (2008), right here at MrSkin.com
We love Judy McGuire . Not like we “love” Krispy Kremes or girls who wear cutoffs so short the pockets hang out the bottom, but like we love oxygen. Or water. Or unscented hand lotion (the scented kind is just weird). In other words, we need Judy McGuire in our lives. Judy is the fantastically funny (and filthy) author behind Soft Skull Press’s The Official Book of Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll Lists , which compiles everything from Ozzy Osbourne’s cure for athlete’s foot (cocaine, obviously) to 8 bands named after man-milk (Pearl Jam, anyone?). It’s a perfect companion for the nightstand, the knapsack or next to the porcelain throne- anywhere where a quick fix of hilarity would be appreciated. Judy is also a noted sexpert who dishes out advice for the Seattle Weekly ‘s Dategirl column, hosts The Mike & Judy Show with fellow Skinterviewee Mike Edison , wrote the compendium of nightmare dates How Not to Date , and gives a killer faux photo-booth BJ, as demonstrated at left. We talked to Judy at her home in New York City, where she provided her (s)expert opinion on Animal House , making peace between wives and porn, and which list was just too filthy to make the cut (hint: lots of lube is involved). More after the jump!
Hey Virgin Loser Nerds….here’s porno that is designed for you…even if not accurate to the Avengers you have on your bed sheets that prevent you from getting laid….it is Avengers XXX and it is put out by my friends a VIVID …more importantly this porn parody looks amazing! I know what you’re thinking, pornography is the devil’s work, at least according to a very drunk Christian man I met this past year in Las Vegas at the AVN awards, who happened to be in Vegas for unrelated business at the Gun show….He was the kind of guy who felt pornography tempted us to want to do bad things with other women, and that shit ruins families….I tried to explain to him that if he wasn’t a virgin when he got married, and if he wasn’t guilt stricken cuz he slept in the same bed as his wife before they were married, something he wished didn’t happen because it made his wife unpure, but knew God would forgive him for, and if he took his own advice that Jesus forgives all his followers, even murderers, he’d realize that fucking these temptations is fantastic, as long as you take a minute before you die, to beg for Jesus’s forgiveness…It works for me…cuz I’m not the weird oppressed angry drunk freak scared of getting boners….I’m the motherfucker with the boner looking for a place to stick it…. I figure if you’re on this site, you are a chronic masturbator, and this kinda thing nicely balances your porn addiction and your comic book addiction, two things that make your social awkwardness both possible and tolerable…. TO SEE THE NSFW VERSION FOLLOW THIS LINK