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Marc Jacobs Is the Best Thing Ever to Happen for Gay Liberation

Posted on February 17, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The power gays are always trying to whitewash the gay world to convince mainstream culture we’re “normal.” What they really need is a poster boy like Marc Jacobs . He is attractive, successful, talented, and gayer than a lube-stained bathhouse. Yes, gay men and women are still second class citizens in this country, and to try to get our marriage rights, the Human Rights Campaign and the other gay organizations are always trying to make America comfortable with people of the same gender getting married and raising a test-tube baby. They think that if middle America sees that all gays are as boring as Uncle Boyd going to a church pancake breakfast that they will accept the culture at large and embrace our issues. This is wrong. The problem isn’t getting everyone to like the Uncle Boyds, it’s trying to get them to love the glitter-throwing, thong-wearing, show-tune lisping fabulousness of Aunt Martin. How are we going to do this? With Marc Jacobs. Everyone loves his clothes and his handbags, and we know this because fat ladies from Florida buy up his knock-offs in Chinatown. They love him so much that they put up with all of his crazy tomfoolery. Sure, he may be wrong about banning celebrities from his fashion show but he is totally right about running around in a skirt , posing like a pretty princess on vacation, and standing by his husbear when he poses naked and talks about his penis size in a smutty gay magazine. The latest dust up is over a picture of a naked male go-go boy dancing at the afterparty for Jacob’s fashion week presentation. Robert Duffy , the CEO of Marc Jacobs (the company, not the man) tweeted it to the world and then had to take it down. It wasn’t because he was worried that everyone would find out Marc was chillin’ with strippers, but because the dancer’s wife wasn’t happy about it. That’s because no one cares that gay ass Marc Jacobs got teabagged after showing the world his latest batch of gorgeous frocks. The great sham of the gay movement is that it is trying to convince the hetero society that we are just like them. Sure, there are many gay men and women living boring lives in the suburbs trying to raise some babies, but still, we are not like them. We will never be like them, and trying to hide it is only going to make them suspect us and hate us even more. So, instead of putting on a stuffed suit, let’s all grab one of Jacobs’ skirts and head out on the town. When the world gets used to the faggiest of the tribe, getting them to vote for the rights of Uncle Boyd down the street is going to be a snap.

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Prognosticating Project Runway Based on Today’s Fashion Show

Posted on February 12, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

That’s right, Lifetime did the unthinkable and showed 10 of the 11 remaining designers collections in Bryant Park today. So, who is going to actually be a real finalist and who is going to win? Let’s figure it out. The whole point of having a Project Runway show during Fashion Week is to try to guess who is going to be the eventual winner of the show. That means that you may run across some spoilery info that you didn’t want to know. If you’re one of those spoiler crybabies, stop reading now and go click on a post about Harold Ford instead. As usual, the show was like a class reunion for former Runway contestants and it was great to see some of our old favorites (and some whose names we don’t even remember) in the flesh. There were a few B-list celebrities: Abigail Breslin , Rachel Zoe , Nigel Barker who was walking around trying to figure out why Tyra Banks wasn’t there and what the hell happened to America’s Next Top Model . The guest judge is Faith Hill, who joined Heidi Klum , Michael Kors , and Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Marie Claire Magazine in the front row right next to Harvey Weinstein. The only designer that hasn’t been eliminated on the show who didn’t show a collection is Mya. Does that mean she is the next to go? Did she get disqualified or otherwise so shamed herself the producers didn’t want her dirty clothes in their presentation? Who knows. Here are the collections in the order in which they appeared today. They were each 10 looks, so the number of dresses is no indicator of whether or not they made it to the finals. I was hoping to spot who had to make the surprise 11th look (!!) the night before the big tent and spoil this whole thing, but Lifetime is smarter than me. It must be the lady vitamins. There was lots of purple, blue, tweed, cap sleeves, big shoulders, and prints. While I picked the finalists, I also ranked the collections based on how good they were compared with each other, but that doesn’t indicate the order in which I think they’re going to get kicked out. So, without further ado: the clothes. These are photos I took from my seventh-row perch (right behind Nicholas from last season), so forgive the quality. We’ll be replacing them with professional shots once they move on the photo wires. Jay Inspiration : He didn’t say. The Look : Lots of separates, volume at the hips and shoulders. Tweed, muted purple, separates, a gorgeous scalloped cocktail dress, and a final red dress that didn’t match anything at all. Will He Be a Finalist? : Possibly. Why : Everything was extraordinarily well-made and tasteful. Jay has had a strong showing all season (including a win), and had one of the better presentations. Rank : 5 Janeane Inspiration : “Things that grow but are not alive” and crystals The Look : Very Forever 21 with simple separates, loose flowy tops, cap sleeves. Cohesive, but bland. Will He Be a Finalist? : No way. Why : She was the worst of the bunch, and her skills on the show haven’t been much better. Rank : 10 Jonathan Inspiration : “A study in volume and things that fly.” The Look : Gorgeous detailed tops that were big at the neck. Gold and rust colors, prints that looked like fire. Tweed leotard crotches that can only be described as diaperish. Will He Be a Finalist? : No. Why : The work was too spotty. Some great pieces, but the super short leotard look was disastrous. I wanted to like this more, but he really was out shown. Rank : 8 Anthony (aka Suzanne Sugarbaker) Inspiration : The rough economy and that people “just gotta keep movin’.” The Look : Surprisingly well-made dresses in sparkly colors. Lots of silver, paillettes, lots of ruffled skirts. The prom-queen glam that we’re used to seeing from Anthony. The only misstep was a Joan Crawford gown that was fitted around the waist and flared out at the bottom that made the model’s skinny ass look like a soccer ball. Will He Be a Finalist? : Yes. Why : He’s great TV and he’s been improving on the show. I was seriously wowed by his collection, possibly because I always have low expectations for Suzanne. Rank : 2 Jesse Inspiration : Film noir, crime novels, “women on the run.” The Look : Retro throwbacks in grey, forrest green, and black. The boogie woogey bugle girl from company tweed. WWII hats. A little silly, but intricate garments that were finely crafted. Will He Be a Finalist? : No. Why : His inspiration wasn’t processed enough and it looked like too much retread. Maybe it was the hats? Rank : 6 Seth Aaron Inspiration : ’40s Russian military. The Look : Bondage Ninotchka with a pom-pom on her head. High necks, black and white stripes, structured layers of fabric, yellow scotch tape plaid, tiny polka dot prints, cap sleeves, and a final purple dress that had no connection to anything that came before it. Will He Be a Finalist? : No. Why : Seth Aaron was surprisingly impressive today, but he hasn’t been that great on the show and the judges don’t seem to admire his aesthetic. Rank : 7 Emilio Inspiration : “Color Me Bad” (we assume he doesn’t mean the ’90s R&B group) The Look : Bold colors, very chic and very Marc Jacobs. Lots of coats with a wonderful almost floral print beneath it, wonderful red, blue, and black knits. A metallic gold flowey Donna Summer disco spectacular for the finale that somehow managed to fit. Will He Be a Finalist? : He should be, but no. Why : His collection was sound and he’s been great on the show, but something about his demeanor said that he was pissed he wasn’t in the finals. He was wearing a hoodie and jeans, barely spoke when he came out to introduce his collection and looked gruff the whole time. If he’s not a finalist with this collection, he’s been robbed. Rank : 2 Mila Inspiration : Shadows. The Look : Exactly the ’60s mod retread you’d expect from Mila. Lots of black, and black and white combinations with muted purple thrown in. Patent leather, V-shaped patters, lots of wonderful texture. Will He Be a Finalist? : Yes. Why : Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Marie Claire Magazine loves her and she regularly churns out great clothes. This collection was a bit underwhelming though, and a little too dark. Strangely enough, the best outfit of the whole bunch was on Mila herself. Rank : 4 Ben Inspiration : Ray Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles . The Look : A progression from washed out white to totally red. Earth tones with pops of a strange blue color. Lots of pants with what appeared to be bright blue kneepads. Strange configurations of fabric and crazy patterns. Will He Be a Finalist? : No. Why : The collection was a bit of a mess. Also, Ben said it was a “very emotional day” and was almost crying. We take that to mean he was sad he had to show a collection that wasn’t in the finals. Rank : 9 Amy Inspiration : Photographical digital printing and pleating. The Look : That about sums it up. Her first look was this insane burka-like silouette of a pleated skirt that started right below the model’s eyes and continued down her whole body. Tons of pleats, piles of pleats. Black and white Rorschach prints, puse accents and knits, handkerchief skirts, and a shockingly awesome simple black dress with a back that billowed in and out like a sea urchin underwater. Will He Be a Finalist? : Yes. Why : Amy is consistently great and her line, while a bit daffy was the best of the bunch. She had a clear point of view. The judges always reward innovation and crazy concepts, so she should take home the top prize. That is, unless Faith Hill insists on someone more safe. Rank : 1

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Alexander McQueen Is Dead

Posted on February 11, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Forty-year-old British fashion designer Alexander McQueen has committed suicide . This is truly tragic.

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Alexander McQueen Is Dead

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A Guided Tour of John and Rielle’s Future Love Den

Posted on February 10, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The National Enquirer says John Edwards proposed to Rielle Hunter and is buying a $3.5M beach house. Now that we’ve found the real estate listing, a guide to the custom mahogany cabinetry (that’s yuppie for “marital bliss”) that lies ahead. The Enquirer ‘s print edition included two photos from this listing with Bald Head Island Real Estate (which is, according to its website, is the only real estate firm serving the North Carolina beach community), which is the only Bald Head property currently listed for $3.5 million. Since John will likely support Elizabeth and Rielle’s lives for the rest of his life, moving in with the one of those women who doesn’t want him castrated (perhaps the only woman in America who still likes him) makes sense. When you lose this much for a woman, you have to at least try to make it work with her. My only question is whether our “Bald Head” jokes should focus on John’s hair or his gigundo penis . Onward to the tour! If you’d like to see these images on one page, click here . 15 Cape Fear (L#1025) Trail is a 4000-ft. ocean- and riverfront mansion boasting five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a whirlpool, an elevator, intercoms (fun for the kids!), central vacuum (fun for the maid!), and a wet bar. Community amenities include a boat dock, beach club, canoe pier, tennis courts, and a golf course. Bald Head Island’s PR team describes local “homesites”: Planners and designers have established a Bald Head Island aesthetic, reminiscent of a style called the “Architecture of the American Summer,” characterized by deep roof overhangs, wide porches and traditional cedar siding. Deep roof overhangs = better shadows in which to hide from paparazzi. With floor-to-ceiling windows and a patio, the master bedroom’s abundant natural light will make shooting daytime sex tapes a dream. Cannabis-themed rug sold separately. Here we see the Great Room and its vaulted “Cathedral Ceiling,” for when you’re ready to repent for living in sin. The “Gourmet Kitchen” includes mahogany custom cabinets, granite counters, a sub-zero refrigerator, wine cooler, double ovens, and maple hardwood floors. It’s like living inside the trunk of a huge redwood tree. The cheery dining room is large enough for whenever your first wife’s kids stop hating you. The master bathroom features ceramic tiles and a gleaming white whirlpool, which Frances Quinn will stain blue with Manic Panic when she reaches her inevitable teenage rebellion. Speaking of little Quinn, here are her picks for nursery. The multi-use space is bathed with the bright light of shame. Here’s the satellite view, revealing the lucky duck neighbor with the swimming pool and how far you have to walk to get to the ocean. At least they have a nice dock… This will probably get super hot in the sun, forcing John and Rielle to race down it screaming “ooh! aah! ouch!”, pumping their knees high so as to maximize the distance between their feet and the ground, as though they are Lipizanner horses. No matter how many times you burn your feet on the dock, you will never think to bring shoes. That’s just the way it is. Let us conclude with a clip from one of the Bald Head Island PR team’s video promos . (Which are very effective. I am completely sold on their “pre-fab Martha’s Vineyard of the South” aesthetic.) The island is personified as a female who “giggles when the ocean waves tickle her shoulder.” It would seem the future Mrs. John Edwards has found paradise at last.

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Sarah Palin’s 2012 Map to Victory

Posted on February 10, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

It’s national campaign stat-porn season again! Number muncher Nate Silver posted some of his magic maps this morning . These maps explain how Sarah Palin could be the 2012 Republican nominee for President! That reddish line from the northwest through the deep South presents Palin’s best shot at the nomination, according to Silver. Basically she has to win either Iowa or South Carolina (or both!) in order to have a shot. But she does well with rural, non-college educated voters who care about terror and God. And that’s an important part of the GOP base! But the most important part of the GOP base is rich people who don’t want to pay taxes. And they will ensure that the nominee is Mitt Romney. He has the organization and the money and, most importantly, he came in second in 2008. That’s how the Republican nomination process works. Huckabee has an outside chance, but for some reason he is intensely hated by many of the GOP money people. Pawlenty is increasingly hated in his home state of Minnesota, but he might end up the least offensive “normal guy” backup choice. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin’s organization is a joke. Pam Pryor, a former RNC senior adviser, leads Palin’s political action committee and is orchestrating her outreach to social conservatives. Randy Scheunenmann remains her policy maestro, with informal assistance from his Orion Strategies colleague Michael Goldfarb, the former Weekly Standard writer and McCain campaign rapid responder. (Goldfarb did not return an e-mail seeking comment about his future in Palin’s world.) Fred Malek is perhaps the single Washington establishment figure that Palin turns to. Michael Goldfarb is a liability. Pam Pryor is an experienced evangelical adviser to Republicans but she hasn’t ever worked for a major candidate. Scheunenmann—one of Ahmad Chalabi’s men in Washington and lobbyist for the Republic of Georgia—was nearly fired from the McCain campaign (along with Goldfarb) for undermining and backstabbing. Fred Malek once counted Jews in the Department of Labor for Richard Nixon. As Dave Weigel pointed out, Huckbaee, Pawlenty, and Romney have bigger and better teams in place. Palin’s PAC can raise substantial amounts of money without much trouble, thanks to her high profile and intense fanbase, but they’re already famous for spending more money on her book than they did on candidates and their most recent fundraising letter has already been mocked for a grammatical error. And, obviously, Palin could surround herself with trained and experienced professionals, but she hates trained and experienced professionals, and the moral of her own stupid book is that she chafes at attempts to make her act like a grown-up. She could very well end up with the Republican nomination, but that would take a series of fluke victories and lucky breaks, and those have not traditionally been deciding factors in the GOP nomination process. But she is definitely kooky enough to give it a go, for which we should all be thankful. Because it will be hilarious.

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We Fully Support the Betty White Resurgence Movement

Posted on February 10, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Betty White , 88, is having a moment. She has movie roles, a Facebook campaign, and a popular ad when most actresses her age only have cataracts. Why do we support this comeback? Because it is free of irony and nostalgia. You can’t swing a handbag these days without hitting Betty White. Aside from a wonderful supporting turn in rom-com hit The Proposal , she also has a Facebook group 125,000 people strong trying to convince the powers that be she should host Saturday Night Live . Then her Snickers ad during the Super Bowl scored the best numbers in the important corporate competition during the big game. More people are talking more about her than Drew Brees—whoever that clown is. We couldn’t be happier for this bawdy dame. That’s right, the love for Betty White is an actual, real, sincere thing. Usually these types of comebacks are rooted in the irony of great things gone by like, “Oh, man, let’s get Eric Estrada to make a cameo in our movie because his show is old and was cool when we were kids, but he’s such a bad actor that it will make this thing awesome, dude.” That’s not the case with Betty. Of course people remember her from her hit shows like The Golden Girls and The Mary Tyler Moore Show , but that is not why she’s being trotted out for a second go-round. The reason she has connected to modern audience is that she is the grandmotherly type that we all love, but she’s happy to subvert that by telling dirty jokes at the William Shatner roast , playing a bitchy version of herself on Ugly Betty , and calling herself a whore on George Lopez . These recent feats are why everyone wants more Betty—not to relive her past glories but because she is doing something totally hip and now. Like many good things in pop culture, this something that the gays have known about for years but everyone else is finally getting hip to. It’s like the great new neighborhood we discovered and cleaned up and the straights come in and pay too much money for apartments after we have replaced all the “checks cashed” parlors and pawn shops with cute restaurants and boutique home decor stores. The gays have a special place in their hearts for both the show The Golden Girls and the actresses that played them and we have single-handedly kept the reruns on the air all this time. Not only have the girls always supported their causes, but we always knew that they were still rife for great comedy. Unlike when our neighborhoods are taken over, we’re happy that the rest of the world has discovered this little treasure with a blonde perm, an infectious smile, and the mouth of a truck driver on his second day of sobriety. Yes, Betty White would be a brilliant choice to host Saturday Night Live . Not only is she a comedic veteran with excellent timing and a wonderfully daffy new persona, but she is two things we rarely see these days: game and in on her own joke. We have a feeling that she would do just about anything from pretending to smoke weed with Andy Samberg to checking out Justin Timberlake ‘s dick in a box. And can you imagine what she would do in a skit with Kristen Wiig ? Amazing! Please give Betty this gig, and any other jobs out there Hollywood can dream up. The world is lousy with ironic posturing and snide resurgences, but this bit of sincere goodwill toward a star is refreshing. We don’t have many years left with Ms. White, but maybe if we keep her busy, she’ll stick around for a bit longer. [ Image via Getty ]

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The Jay Leno Show: 2009-2010

Posted on February 9, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

The Jay Leno Show died today. It was five months old. Tonight, a half-dead zombie version of the show briefly rose from its deathbed to celebrate its own demise. This was about as fun as you would expect. The Jay Leno Show ‘s cause of death has been the subject of much controversy in past weeks. But all signs tonight pointed to the failure of that most vital of organs: The host. “This show was supposed to last 2 years, but my sentence was reduced to five months for good behavior,” gasped Leno. “Five months! Do you realize guys on viagra had erections that lasted longer than that?” The audience’s laughter could not hide the underlying horror; if you’re going to have a zombie stagger around telling jokes on stage, at least make them good jokes! A short video was played in honor of the deceased. It was celebrity-studded and about as funny as someone drawing a dick on a roadside cross which marks the site of a bus crash. There could have been no more fitting tribute to The Jay Leno Show . Ashton Kutcher delivered a eulogy: “I felt like it was fitting that I came on the last show to reveal that the whole Tonight Show /earlier show thing was a punk.” As did Bob Costas : “The Last ’10@10’ huh? Kind of like being involved in the last broadcast of a Clipper’s season, isn’t it?” And just to make sure we didn’t miss it too much , the show included one final installment in the worst comedy bit in all of television: “Beer Pong Shot at of the Week.” And with that, The Jay Leno Show passed away. The final Jay Leno Show was not a tearful goodbye; it was a smirking retreat. Which is fitting, since nobody’s crying over its demise. We’ve all heard how NBC mad scientists are even now working feverishly in their hilltop fortress to breath monstrous new life into the show’s purifying corpse. Quickly, fellow TV-watchers! Our only hope is to draw and quarter this abomination and scatter its parts to very ends of the earth! Dear God. Do you hear that? We’re too late… The Tonight Show with Jay Leno . It’s… it’s… It’s alive!

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The Jay Leno Show: 2009-2010

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Undercover Boss: Advertainment’s Fourth Wave

Posted on February 8, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

So we assume you saw Undercover Boss last night, CBS’ big new reality show that got the plum post-Super Bowl spot? Amazing, was it not? Televised entertainment has now completed its long, winding journey into becoming 100% corporate propaganda. In Undercover Boss , a CEO goes undercover in his own company to get the real scoop on how hard it is…to work for his own company. Last night’s premiere featured Larry O’Donnell, COO of the thoroughly unglamorous, dirty, occasionally union-busting multibillion-dollar trash company Waste Management . Larry met many hardworking employees in heartstring-tugging situations, and was able to help them, by vowing to form a committee to address their concerns about their shitty jobs! CONSIDER: In the olden days of television, companies would sponsor an entire block of programming—The Colgate Variety Hour, or whatever. In return for their name on the show and some in-show plugs, the audience got about an hour of entertainment content. THEN, the 30-second commercial reigned. In return for minutes-long blocks of commercial content, consumers got (more) minutes-long blocks of uninterrupted entertainment. THEN, Tivo came along. Many advertisers moved towards product placement —they paid to have their products and branding messages integrated into the shows themselves. The 30-second ads remained! So, in return for the same lengthy advertising breaks, consumers got a bit of advertorial-type entertainment content. AND NOW, with the advent of Undercover Boss, we find we have come to a new stage in television: An entire prime-time show that is, in effect, an hour-long corporate public relations message, broadcast to a far larger audience than the corporation could ever hope to reach itself, courtesy of one of our nation’s premiere television networks. Can you even begin to imagine the amount of money that an unsexy company like Waste Management, for chrissake, would have had to spend to buy an amount of media exposure equal to a full hour of prime time directly after the Super Bowl ? It quite literally could not have been purchased with all the money in Waste Management’s coffers! But, in exchange for what was no doubt hand-and-foot service from Waste Management’s PR team in setting up logistics and tracking down appropriately engaging employees for the boss to interact with, CBS gives the company an advertainment opportunity unparalleled anywhere else on television. SO, The deal for you, the television viewer is now this: in return for sitting through lengthy blocks of ads, you are treated to one hour of a trash company’s employee morale-boosting video, writ large. Waste Management played it well: they had the boss admit some mistakes and act humble. Future participants should take notes. This is the best deal corporate America ‘s gotten on CBS since the network dropped that 60 Minutes tobacco story . Don’t fuck this up, guys.

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The iPad Tweet That Enraged Steve Jobs?

Posted on February 8, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

There was inevitably some cultural friction when Apple’s secretive CEO took his new iPad around to New York’s professionally indiscreet media . Exhibit A is a single tweet from a Wall Street Journal editor, which purportedly made Steve Jobs go ballistic: The Journal ‘s online executive editor Alan Murray quickly deleted the Feb. 4 tweet, which, it is now obvious, was issued during Apple CEO Jobs’ show-and-tell with select Journal staff. A tipster told us the deletion ultimately traces back to a furious Jobs. We asked Murray for comment, and he wrote back “I would love to talk about this, but can’t.” In a later email, he added: I will say that Apple’s general paranoia about news coverage is truly extraordinary— but that’s not telling you anything you didn’t already know. Indeed, Apple is a notoriously tight-lipped company, particularly under Jobs, and is constantly trying to control the flow of news about its product. Apple sued a teenaged blogger who published scoops about unreleased products; it lied about Jobs’ health problems; Jobs called a New York Times columnist a ” slime bucket ” for writing about said health problems; and an employee of key Apple contractor Foxconn had his apartment illegally searched after losing an iPhone prototype (he later committed suicide amid intense pressure from his employer). If Jobs did give Murray a tongue lashing — his withering verbal abuse is infamous — the editor can console himself with the knowledge that this is is an especially touchy time of year for the paranoiac. And not just because of the pressures of shepherding and unveiling a new product. At Jobs’ meeting at the Times , the CEO was mostly on point, painting a utopian picture of happy future world awash in iPads. But at one juncture in the meeting, we hear, he took a detour, telling assembled newspaper staff that he gets tons of hate mail from people whenever he launches a new product — people who have never even used it, including angry Apple “fans.” Jobs reportedly described the mail as “really nasty stuff… [things] like ‘Fuck you and your family.'” It sounds like Jobs has been fighting this sort of backlash his whole career, judging from this 1994 Rolling Stone interview: “I’ve always been attracted to the more revolutionary changes. I don’t know why. Because they’re harder. They’re much more stressful emotionally. And you usually go through a period where everybody tells you that you’ve completely failed.” Of course, “fuck you and your family” sound less like fanboys than regretful stock speculators. That’s the sort of e-note to go ballistic over. (Updates: Added background on Apple secrecy, R olling Stone quote.)

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Fabulously Snobby Divorce Scandal of the Week: Niall Ferguson’s Fatwa Mistress Two-Step

Posted on February 8, 2010 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Harvard professor, hedge-fund millionaire, and ” court historian for the imperial American hard right ” Niall Ferguson is leaving his wife for a feminist filmmaker he met at the Time 100 party. Sex! Scandal! Murderous Muslim clerics! This story has it all. Ferguson (whose career highs include defending colonialism and parlaying books about the Rothschild dynasty into a lucrative Rothschild-endorsed hedge fund career) is divorcing his wife of sixteen years, former editor and Condé Nasty Susan Douglas , reports The Daily Mail . Niall’s new lovah: Somali-born filmmaker Ayaan Hirsi Ali . After meeting at a party for Time ‘s 100 Most Influential People in the World, Niall and Ayaan launched into the most glamorously snobby, geopolitically thrilling forbidden love since Cleopatra and both Roman triumvirates: Just two weeks ago they attended the Jaipur Literary Festival in India where they were photographed kissing in the opulent surroundings of the spectacular Diggi Palace. Ms Hirsi Ali had been flown to the event secretly. She has been the subject of threats from Muslim extremists since writing the script for the movie Submission , which was critical of Islam. …[ Time art editor Belinda] Luscombe, a friend of Ms Hirsi Ali, said: “I think [the Time 100 party] is where they met for the first time. In all the years I have known Ayaan, she’s never had a boyfriend. She’s gorgeous, but with a fatwa, it’s tricky to find guys. ” Other people who come up in this story: Henry Kissinger and British historian Sir Alistair Horne (who knew of the affair before it went public), a member of Parliament, and seven other mistresses. Now check out this ridiculous quote: “There was a point when it was not impossible for me to get $100,000 for a one-hour speech at some extravagant hedge-fund manager conference in an exotic location,”  Ferguson recalled. …and this one: Says a friend: “Niall has a fair few enemies who feel he has got above his station, but Sue always stood by him. The marriage was fine for 13 years, then when Niall went to America, it all started to go wrong .” Always the wayward colonies. Final question: Who were his seven other mistresses? Is Henry Kissinger the keeper of those secrets, too? [ DailyMail ]

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