As a general rule, text messages are pretty funny. Take the time Justin Bieber told Selena Gomez to keep her talentless p–sy away from him . Or take these 19 Text Message Fails by Mom . Or take the following amazing exchange, in which one girl complains to her friend that some shady dude on the bus is looking over her shoulder and reading her phone messages. What awesomely evil plan does the friend come up with? We should plot a fake murder and see how he reacts! And that’s exactly what they do. Flip through the following screen grabs to see the plot unfold and to learn how the snooper responds… Fake Murder Text Messages 1. So it begins…
The rumor is that Selena Gomez is getting fucked by Bieber again. I like to think it’s more got to do with her having a tour to promote. It’s always good to keep people talking and wondering about your life because it means you’re still relevant…I mean I am not even sure these two ever fucked, Bieber’s been off fucking groupies and pornstars since he was 11, and Selena, well, she’s probably up to the same thing because kids these days grew up on porn and are all fucking freaks…which I endorse fully…I just assume it’s always been good for both their business… That said, I don’t give a fuck who or what Selena Gomez is fucking, I just like when her bloated from LUPUS steroid treatment that makes her look like a chipmunk face, is busting out of her bikini top…because I am a grown ass man, why the fuck else would I even acknowledge Selena Gomez exists…cuz of her music, or cuz I’m a fan of her acting…shut the fuck up….look at her bikini top.
Selena Gomez is totally back together with Justin Bieber … and back in a bikini for her latest Instagram photo inviting widespread ogling and celebrity gossip attention. Hey, it clearly works. Consider us hooked, lined and sinkered. One day after hitting the zoo on a date with her on-again beau, Gomez posted this sultry pic, rocking double braids, round sunglasses and a strapless bikini. Is it hot in here or is it just us? (The A/C is out, so …) Selena captioned her selfie, “Soy valiante,” which translates to “I am brave” in Spanish. Certainly brave to take on Bieliebers and their Ignore Justin Project . Whatever his fans think, or her family thinks, the two are definitely getting hot and heavy lately, doing dinner, a movie and likely each other last weekend. Selena and Justin showed major PDA in public, even holding hands in front of moviegoers, showing that they are more head over heels than ever before. Or at least more than any point previously in 2014. “Selena made Justin promise that they won’t hide their relationship and that instead, they’ll go out together as much as possible,” says a Jelena insider. “Selena thinks this will change Justin and also make [haters] change their tune. They’ll show each other how much they love each other to the world.” She’ll also show off her body early and often on Instagram, as she’s proven, and no one in their right mind is going to criticize that choice. No one. Selena Gomez Instagram Photos 1. Selena Gomez Bikini Instagram Photo Selena Gomez rocks a bikini in this Instagram photo. She says in the caption that she is “taking” her “power” back.
There’s nothing quite like staring at pictures of food porn right before lunch to make your usual lunch seem boring, but thanks to Instagram, you can do that every day if you’d like. Or you can use the pictures you’re about to see as inspiration to bust out of your rut and try something more adventurous. Wait, are we talking about real porn or food porn? Both. The answer is both. 13 Essential Food Porn Instagram Accounts 1. Alice Gao Alice Gao’s Instagram is full of her iPhone snaps of life in New York City, including amazing shots of food. Follow her at @alice_gao. #Foodporn has taken Instagram by storm with nearly 3 MILLION photos already tagged. Instagram’s users are eager to share their food photos with the world. Some are clearly better than others, of course. In fact, they’re so much better that entire accounts exist on Instagram solely for the sharing of food photography. Some are used as advertisements for websites while others serve as microblogs allowing the account owners to share their exploits and creations with the world. We’ve painstakingly taken the time to cull 13 of the best food porn photographers on Instagram. Flip through the gallery above and then go follow them all! And don’t forget to follow You Did Not Eat That , who routinely calls out people who use food as props in their photography. Uhhh…wait a minute… 15 Best You Did Not Eat That Instagram Posts 1. Kourtney Kardashian vs. That Fried Thing on a Fork Kourtney Kardashian IS pregnant, so MAYBE she ate that fried thing on a fork. But probably not.
We know that Justin Bieber loves weed . No one would deny that (including the Biebs himself). What we didn’t know is the extent of the pop star’s fondness for Mary Jane. According to Radar Online, Bieber smokes so much pot that he’s had his Mercedes van converted into a “weed bunker on wheels,” specially equipped with stash spots and airtight rooms for clambaking. Bieber was reportedly joined by Selena Gomez and some friends on a recent trip to the Knott’s Berry Farm in Buena Vista, California, and onlookers say Justin and his crew took full advantage of the drug bus before entering the family-friendly theme park: “They hotboxed and drank Heinekens from the fridge Justin keeps in the van,” says a source who was on board. “There was no bong or anything, just Justin rolling his own burrito-sized joints. I mean f–king huge!” Selena was joined by friends including backup dancer Charity Baroni and Francia Raisa of The Secret Life of the American Teenager – all of whom reportedly took part in the partying: “Everyone smoked, including Selena,” says the insider. “We smoked at least six joints and were high as a kite by the time we rolled into Knott’s.” While Justin’s love of booze and pot is well known, Selena did a stint in rehab recently and was believed to be drug free. 23 Reasons Justin Bieber Needs to Get Punched 1. He Can’t Keep His Shirt On Yeah. Selfies like this work if you’re Matthew McConaughey. Not Justin Bieber. Also, Matthew McConaughey would never post selfies like this because he doesn’t need to constantly beg for attention or prove to himself that he’s cool.
This seems like totally normal fat chick with breast implant behavior, it’s like strap yourself into the hourglass figure you want, by shaping your fat and making it deposit in all the “right places” that still make you look fat, just freakish, because your waist is 23 inches, and the rest of you is 500 fucking pounds of donuts…weird. If you don’t like that kind of horror – here’s Tim Burton’s 1982 version of Hansel and Gretel…that aired on some Disney Channel on halloween 1983…
Selena Gomez is doing some vocal training, because I guess you can never be too good, not that Selena Gomez is that good, I wouldn’t know I’ve never seen or heard any of her shit…which I like to think is good thing… I like to assume that her stage Mother coordinated this, since kids are lazy as fuck, and she doesn’t want the money that she could have used on her college fund but rather spent on moving to LA, to stage mom proper, putting in work, and sucking the right exec dick to get her in at Disney, the happiest place on earth to the people they market to, and the best vocational program in the entertainment industry, if you want to be in the entertainment industry, where they churn out starlets… I am posting it because I find it kind of sweet and erotic, like a gentle whisper I can jerk off to because I am a high concept masturbator, and hardcore fucking doesn’t do it for me. I need black and white creepy erotica filled with face wide enough for even the biggest load…
Selena Gomez is doing some vocal training, because I guess you can never be too good, not that Selena Gomez is that good, I wouldn’t know I’ve never seen or heard any of her shit…which I like to think is good thing… I like to assume that her stage Mother coordinated this, since kids are lazy as fuck, and she doesn’t want the money that she could have used on her college fund but rather spent on moving to LA, to stage mom proper, putting in work, and sucking the right exec dick to get her in at Disney, the happiest place on earth to the people they market to, and the best vocational program in the entertainment industry, if you want to be in the entertainment industry, where they churn out starlets… I am posting it because I find it kind of sweet and erotic, like a gentle whisper I can jerk off to because I am a high concept masturbator, and hardcore fucking doesn’t do it for me. I need black and white creepy erotica filled with face wide enough for even the biggest load…
In a new Instagram video, Selena Gomez is seen repeating “I will always love you.” Is she talking about Justin Bieber? I wouldn’t be so sure! Here’s why.
We hate to be the ones to break it to you, but most readers will never wake up alongside Justin Bieber. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t see what the singer looks like in the morning, thanks to a new Instagram photo just posted by the superstar. “I got that sleep I was looking for,” Bieber Tweeted along with the following shot, perhaps making a subtle reference to the DUI plea bargain he has reportedly reached. It means Bieber will not serve any jail time or be placed on probation. Those are both worthy reasons to sleep well in our minds. Elsewhere on Instagram this week, Justin posted an intimate picture of himself and Selena Gomez , writing that her love for her was ” unconditional .” He then deleted the image, causing mass confusion among his fan base. The guy can be an enigma, but a hot enigma! Here are many more Instagram photos of the young man: Justin Bieber Instagram Photos 1. The Biebs on Instagram Justin Bieber posted this photo on “Instagram.” He included with it a simple, one-word caption of “Night.”
