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REVIEW: Enjoyably Over-The-Top ‘Breaking Dawn – Part 2’ Lacks A Certain Je Ne Suck Quoi

Whether you’re a devoted Twihard, an absolute hater or someone who’s still just completely bewildered by  Stephenie Meyer ‘s oeuvre, you must give the  Twilight saga this — these stories are incredible, unabashed distillations of teenage (or just teenage-at-heart) female fantasy. Male equivalents, like, say, most superhero stories, have come to dominate the mainstream and fill the summer blockbuster schedule to such an extent that the  Twilight  films are striking simply in how very different they are. And how crazily well they target certain girlish pleasure centers with their themes of eternal romance, playing house with the advantages of unlimited vampiric wealth, and being the one that everyone wants without even trying . The wildest though hardly the best chapter of the series, franchise closer  Breaking Dawn — Part 2 will also be basically bulletproof in terms of box office. That leaves the film free to indulge in the giddy insanity that also colored  Part 1 , with its bruising, bed-breaking sex, accelerated monstrous pregnancy and Cronenbergian birth sequence. Like its predecessor,  Part 2  was directed by  Bill Condon . It picks up with Bella ( Kristen Stewart ) freshly vampirized by her husband Edward ( Robert Pattinson ) after the difficult birth of their daughter Renesmee  — initially a CG-enhanced infant and, later, Mackenzie Foy — and skips the surreal, semi-metaphorical treatments of sex and fecundity for more movie-friendly but less interesting action. Renesmee, you see, is aging rapidly, moving from baby to adorable little girl at an unusual rate — and when she’s spotted bounding high in the air the way only a mini half-immortal can, she’s mistaken for a child vampire, the creation of which is against the rules. The sinister Volturi, led by Aro (Michael Sheen, in a performance that goes beyond camp to a higher, gigglier level), prepare to descend on Forks, Washington to dole out punishment, while the Cullens, prompted by one of Alice’s (Ashley Greene) visions, go about gathering allies to their side from covens around the globe. Breaking Dawn — Part 2 ends with a credit sequence for the entire series, including actors who don’t appear in this installment, and watching Anna Kendrick and other actors who played Bella’s classmates flash on screen, it’s hard to think back to when the series was merely a dreamy supernatural high school drama. With its hybrid offspring, soulmate-bonding with babies, international array of bloodsuckers (including Lee Pace as a character I’m choosing to call Revolutionary War Vampire) and an outrageous battle sequence in the snow in which heads are popped off bodies like caps off of beer bottles, this film is very far from the normalcy of Edward and Bella meeting in biology class, or from anything that makes sense. PHOTOS: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson & Co. Premiere ‘Breaking Dawn 2’ At this point in the franchise our central couple is, after much pining and love triangulation, a done deal, and while the two obviously have troubles to deal with, they’re no longer of the impossible-romance variety. Bella and Edward are irrevocably in this together as they prepare to face a threat to their family and their home, which may be why this installment lacks the irresistibly overheated melodramatics of the earlier chapters. With clumsy CGI and awkwardly choreographed fights, these films have never handled action well, but it’s the main focus of the latter half of  Breaking Dawn — Part 2 . It’s Jacob ( Taylor Lautner ) — who obligingly doffs his shirt under cheerily contrived circumstances not far into the film — who’s left to carry the torch for difficult love stories by imprinting on and forever hovering around Renesmee, which is actually creepier when she becomes a girl than when he’s mooning over an infant. There’s no way for this development not to read as ridiculous, and the way Lautner chooses “mildly pained” from his limited array of expressions appears to indicate he agrees as he lingers near his potential child bride. Of course, a lot of  Breaking Dawn — Part 2 is ridiculous, often knowingly so, with its winking moments of fan service and a gigantic array of characters, many of them signaling their cultural identity with amusing broadness. (The Amazonian vampires were entertaining, but it’s the gothy Romanians who really won me over). The film actually packs in so many new characters and explorations of superpowers (Bella, it turns out, is a “Shield”) that it feels like it’s just trying to avoid having to deal with its protagonists, unsure of what to do with them now that they’re together and married. Aside from a tastefully shot sex scene and one closing affirmation of devotion, the film plays down their relationship now that it’s not plagued with reasons the two can’t be together. And there have been so many. As ludicrous and enjoyably over-the-top as  Breaking Dawn — Part 2  can be, it’s not a terribly satisfactory capper to the Twilight   franchise because it sets aside the strange undercurrents of desire and danger that defined the series and made it such a hair-tearing conundrum for feminists mystified by the appeal of its passive blank of a heroine. Bella’s an empowered badass in this last installment, wielding newborn strength while showing unusual self-control and learning to use her new abilities — and that’s why things feel off. Bella’s foremost qualities in this series come through in her being protected, being rescued, being adored — she’s a fantasy of finally being recognized as precious after always having been undervalued. And as Bella and Edward ride off into the glittery sunset together to live in their fancy cottage with their walk-in closets and mutant child, it’s nice to see Bella holding her own, but also a curious final twist on the  Twilight saga’s darkest appeal — the lure of being the thing that is fought over. READ MORE ON TWILIGHT : The ‘Twilight’ Scream-O-Meter: Notes From The ‘Breaking Dawn 2’ Premiere Taylor Lautner On Jacob And Renesmee’s ‘Breaking Dawn’ May-December Relationship: ‘I Was Worried About It’ Follow Alison Willmore on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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REVIEW: Enjoyably Over-The-Top ‘Breaking Dawn – Part 2’ Lacks A Certain Je Ne Suck Quoi

Kanye West’s ‘Cruel Winter’ Vid A Fake

We were duped too. A video thought to be linked to Kanye West ‘s Cruel Winter release is, in fact, not his. Director Austin Christianson, who has worked with Wiz Khalifa and Rihanna, said the trailer was made outside of the artist’s G.O.O.D. Music or his label, Def Jam. Late last week, a video circulated via YouTube that appeared to be a follow-up of West’s Cruel Summer project . According to Fuse , the video is actually a concept that had been made public with the aim to work with West and was only intended for him to see, though it made its way into the press around the world. “Without getting into many details, I will say that the trailer was independently made and the video is essentially a concept trailer… It’s used for pitching an idea and/or concept to a client,” Christianson told Fuse. “With that said, the video was being used for pitching purposes and it’s naturally intended only for the client to see.” Apparently Christianson had opted to work with West and decided to reach out to him in a not-so-private way. The brouhaha ramped up when Def Jam denied involvement and the trailer was removed. For his part, West’s crowd has not referenced the fake Cruel Winter trailer and hasn’t even confirmed if one is in the offing. [Source: Pitchfork ]

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Kanye West’s ‘Cruel Winter’ Vid A Fake

On October 21st 2012 I was fortunate enough to meet my very own…

On October 21 st 2012 I was fortunate enough to meet my very own idol, Justin Bieber . To start, I want to explain that I did not buy meet and greets passes, and I only had lower level seats (which were very good!) It all started this summer when my dad met Dan Kanter, and sure enough they are now friends. They were at a concert for a Phish show, and my dad saw Dan . He immediately ran over to him and began chatting him up and telling him how much I loved Justin, and how I have been a fan since before he was very mainstream. After talking for a while about this and that, Dan asked if we had tickets to any of the shows on the Believe Tour and in fact we did and then things happened and here we are now. Now fast forward to the day of the concert, we had been roaming around Milwaukee the whole day and having fun talking to fans. I even saw Kenny on a Segway! I was also interviewed for a Milwaukee website/newspaper and I am at 0:15 in the video, note it was very windy outside.  He asked me what Justin meant to me and how long I had been there, and I had been there since around noon. After getting merchandise and talking to more fans, the meet and greet line was forming, and I decided to walk around some more and then get in line because I didn’t want to be first at all. We got in line and then my dad called Dan and he said he would come and meet us inside the building. We jumped the line and got inside and finally, I saw Dan. I immediately ran up to him and gave him a hug and told him how happy and blessed I was to be having this opportunity. Dan was honestly one of the nicest and coolest guys I have ever me t. We small talked about things and he told me that when I’m meeting Justin to try to engage him in to the conversation. After many more thank you’s and talking with Dan, we all got our wristbands and walked to the line. After an hour wait, I was next in line and to say I was excited would be an understatement. I was shaking already and about to break down crying. I had planned out what I was going to say to Justin. I saw Kenny who was standing about a foot away from me and I smiled at him and said, “Hi Kenny!” He looked at me and smiled, and then went back to talking to whoever he was speaking to before. A minute or so passed and then they announced “NEXT GROUP” and I went in with my group, which was my mom, dad, and I. They pulled back the black surrounded curtain area and I saw him standing there, looking perfect as always. Justin was standing there fixing his hair and he looked amazing; he was wearing black skinnies, a black long sleeved shirt, black jacket, and some very nice jewelry . I walked in and I just stopped in my tracks, my legs wouldn’t move, at all. I just looked at him, and then he looked up and gave me the most amazing smile that I had ever seen in my whole life. I blanked and  forget everything that I was going to say to him. I finally got my legs to move themselves and I walked over to him and stood right next to him. I was standing next to my idol that I have been waiting four long years to meet. “Hi hun, how are you?” Justin said very calmly to me, and I replied with a “Hi” because that is all that would come out. Then Justin started coughing, so I backed away so he would have his privacy. Then when he was done, he looked down at me and then took my waist and pulled me in to him very swiftly. They took a picture and I honestly don’t even remember taking a picture at all, let alone looking at a camera. I was about to walk out and he pulled me in to a hug, and when I was hugging him all I could think was that he smelt so freaking amazing and that he gave the best hugs in the world. I finally got a few more words out, but only in a whisper. I said “I love you Justin” and then I started crying with what he said next. He looked at me, his eyes were so gorgeous and he whispered back to me “I love you too” and with that I had to leave and when I was walking out I said “Thank you so much” To no one in particular and Justin himself replied to me and said “Thank you sweetheart.” That was hands down the best moment of my life, and after walking out I started balling my eyes out and it was uncontrollable. The thing about Bieber fans is that they are truly happy for you when you meet Justin, unlike other fan bases that would be jealous. I walked outside by myself so I could get some air and try to stop hyperventilating I was greeted with man girls asking “How was it, how was it” and “I am so happy for you” and many hugs. It was the greatest feeling to know that they were truly happy for you and that you could share your now, priceless story with them. The concert was utterly flawless and amazing in all ways, Justin preformed with grace and beauty like he always did. My favorite was when he sang Believe it was so emotional for all of the fans, and there was not many dry eyes in the whole arena. To say the least October 21, 2012 was the best day of my life and I could have never asked for anymore. Special thanks to Dan Kanter, because I would have never been in his position or had this opportunity if it hadn’t been for you, and I am so thankful for it. – Shae (@BiebsGotSwagg96) The rest is here: On October 21st 2012 I was fortunate enough to meet my very own…

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On October 21st 2012 I was fortunate enough to meet my very own…

Hate It Or Love It?!?! Minnesota’s Hip-Hop “Sensation” Y.N. Rich Kids “Hot Cheetos And Takis” [Music Video]

These kids must be EATING! North Side Kids “Hot Cheetos And Takis” Ok, so we’re admittedly a lil’ late to this party, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know a banger when we hear one! According to The Village Voice Surely you’ve heard of “Hot Cheetos and Takis,” the banger from the Y.N.RichKids, by now? The song, a product of the Minneapolis North Community YMCA’s Beats and Rhymes Program, is as infectious as its titular snacks are artificially flavored, with what appears to be a bunch of community school-educated pre-teens spitting the ode to the convenience store staples. It’s also sincerely one of the best rap songs of this summer. It’s actually really nice to see little kids rapping about little kid isht, as opposed to Chief Keefin’ (yes, he’s a verb now) and rappin’ about guns and killing people. So without further ado… Image via YouTube

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Hate It Or Love It?!?! Minnesota’s Hip-Hop “Sensation” Y.N. Rich Kids “Hot Cheetos And Takis” [Music Video]

Anderson Cooper Live Canceled

“I am very proud of the work that our terrific staff has put into launching and sustaining our show for two seasons,” Cooper, 45, said in a statement. “I look forward to doing more great shows this season, and though I#39;m sorry we won#39;t be continuing, I have truly enjoyed it.” The cancelation, set to take effect after the summer of 2013, is more of a testament to the market than a reflection on the veteran journalist, an anonymous studio executive explained to The Times. Even changes to th

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Anderson Cooper Live Canceled

Anderson Cooper Talk Show: Canceled!

The Silver Fox has been caged. As first reported by The New York Times , Warner Brothers has given the axe to Anderson, effective at the conclusion of Season 2; the final episode of this talk show will air in the summer of 2013. Said Anderson Cooper in a statement: “I am very proud of the work that our terrific staff has put into launching and sustaining our show for two seasons. I am also grateful to Telepictures for giving me the opportunity, and indebted to viewers, who have responded so positively. I look forward to doing more great shows this season, and though I’m sorry we won’t be continuing, I have truly enjoyed it.” On recent episodes of the gabfest, Cooper has slammed Bristol Palin and Star Jones .

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Anderson Cooper Talk Show: Canceled!

Avril Lavigne Ex-Husband Dresses as Future Avril Lavigne Husband For Halloween

Avril Lavigne’s ex-husband Deryck Whibley and his girlfriend Ari Cooper dressed as Avril and her fiance, Nickelback singer, for Halloween. And cross dressed. Here are some of the weirder celebrity Halloween costumes we’ve seen … Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger got engaged this summer; few knew they were even dating. For Halloween, Deryck was Avril, and Ari was Chad. The above photo was Tweeted. The really funny part? Kroeger saw the pic and Tweeted back to the Sum 41 frontman: “Hey Deryck loved the costumes! we were going to dress up as you guys this year but all the parties had celebrity themes haha! -CK” Deryck Whibley? Served.

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Avril Lavigne Ex-Husband Dresses as Future Avril Lavigne Husband For Halloween

Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria Break up

The former Desperate Housewives star, 37, and New York Jets quarterback, Mark Sanchez, 25, have ended their brief relationship. “Eva and Mark split amicably and remain friends,” the insider said, who were spotted frequently together over the summer. “There is no drama.” A rep for Longoria is not commenting.

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Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria Break up

Jeremy Bieber Nude Pics: Full-Frontal and In Existence?!?

Rumors of Justin Bieber nude photos floating around the Internet have been debunked. But the same cannot yet be said for naked pictures of Jeremy Bieber, as Radar Online actually reports shots of Bieber’s father in the buff are on sale to the highest bidder. The images were allegedly taken many years ago, and it’s clear the elder Bieber was in on the shoot. ” Jeremy was purposely posing in all the photos, and he’s completely naked showing full-frontal,” a source tells Radar. “They look like they were taken for a Playgirl -type magazine or something.” Ummm… hot? We guess? Jeremy and Bieber’s mother have been divorced for years, but the 19-year old remains close with his dad. The two got matching Jesus tattoos on their torsos in the summer of 2011. Do you wanna see Jeremy Bieber naked?

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Jeremy Bieber Nude Pics: Full-Frontal and In Existence?!?

Big Tex: On Fire!

Poor Big Tex. The affable, famous 52-foot State Fair of Texas mascot caught on fire at Fair Park in Dallas this morning. Take a look at the big fella before and after … Wearing size 70 boots and a 75-gallon hat, Big Tex had been an institution since 1952. Alas, he will not make it to see 61. But Tex will rise again! The Mayor of Dallas has apparently promised to resurrect the mascot for 2013: “We’ll rebuild him and make him better than ever for the 21st Century.”

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Big Tex: On Fire!