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Bella Thorne’s Funbags Are Back On Snapchat

Good news! After that lame photoshoot from earlier in the week , it looks like Bella Thorne ‘s gotten back to doing what she does best: showing off her funbags and dancing around on Snapchat. I don’t know if Bella actually sees any money from all this hard work she’s been doing, but if you ask me, she should really consider getting her Snapchat sponsored by Kleenex or something, because I bet sales have been going through the roof. Enjoy.

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Bella Thorne’s Funbags Are Back On Snapchat

Selena Gomez’s Tongue Action On Instagram

If you’ve been paying any attention to the site the past few months, you probably don’t need me to remind you how hot  Selena Gomez has been looking. She’s gone from boring pop star to pants-meltingly hot Instagram thirst trap practically overnight. And best of all, now it looks like she’s close to mastering every professional Insta-hottie’s signature move: sexy tongue action. I’m telling you guys, if Selena keeps practicing, she could become an all-time great. We’re talking Hottie Hall of Fame here.

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Selena Gomez’s Tongue Action On Instagram

Candice Swanepoel Works It Real Good

Here’s the latest photoshoot from Victoria’s Secret stunner Candice Swanepoel , and you know, this is probably one of my favorite themes for a modeling shoot. And no, I’m not talking about Candice’s booty, although it is hard to beat that. I mean the whole “artsy black-and-white” thing. If you ask me, it really classes up those lingerie pictures. Now, speaking of classy, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go lock myself in a Starbucks bathroom for a few minutes. Enjoy. » view all 11 photos

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Candice Swanepoel Works It Real Good

Selena Gomez’s Hottie Potential

I don’t know what’s gotten into  Selena Gomez lately. Who knows, maybe she finally read all those posts I wrote saying how she needed to up her hotness game. There’s always a first time for everything, right? Anyway, point is, between spreading it on Snapchat and going full see-through , Selena’s finally starting to live up to her hottie potential these days. And it’s about damn time. Enjoy!

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Selena Gomez’s Hottie Potential

Bella Thorne’s Orange Tongue Photoshoot

It’s time to take a break from our regularly-scheduled programming — AKA Bella Thorne shaking her booty on Snapchat — for some “professional” “modeling” pictures from the hardest-working hottie on social media. AKA some lazy, boring photoshoot for some brand that’s probably paying Bella way too much money for about 10 minutes of work. They didn’t even take the time to Photoshop it so her tongue wasn’t bright orange. But hey, at least now I learned Bella eats Cheetos at work too. I always knew we were meant for each other! I’m sure she’s already got an assistant for it, but if Bella ever needs someone to lick the orange dust of her fingers, let me know. I have years of relevant work experience.

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Bella Thorne’s Orange Tongue Photoshoot

Katrina Bowden In A Little Bikini

I can’t remember the last time I did a post on Katrina Bowden , but used to be, this hottie was hands down one of my favorite blondes on TV. I don’t know what she’s been up to ever since 30 Rock went off the air, but hopefully this bikini photoshoot is the start of a promising second career as a professional model  five-alarm pants fire. Fingers crossed!

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Katrina Bowden In A Little Bikini

Ariel Winter Works It With Her Friends

You know how every group of girls always has that one less attractive friend to make them all look better or thinner or whatever? Well, after checking out these shots of Ariel Winter and her friends on social media, I’m pretty sure Ariel must only hang out with girls with smaller funbags, because maybe it’s just an optical illusion, but hers are looking huge here. Either way, me and the Little Tuna definitely approve.

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Ariel Winter Works It With Her Friends

Sarah Hyland Gets Her Nipple Game On

I feel like I’ve spent years trying to convince  Sarah Hyland that she needs to get serious about this whole Instagram thing if she wants to keep her 15 minutes of fame going once Modern Family ‘s over. (Her co-star Ariel Winter definitely knows what’s up.) And I’m happy to report that it looks like she’s finally listening, because she just posted some pretty hot selfies. Now, unfortunately it looks like she covered up the good stuff with one of those damn emojis, but that’s OK. I’m sure she’ll get the hang of #freeingthenipple eventually. Fingers crossed, anyway.

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Sarah Hyland Gets Her Nipple Game On

Miley Cyrus Does One Love

OK, so this one is a little tricky for me. In case you didn’t hear, Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande performed as part of a big, star-studded charity benefit concert for Manchester last night, and it’s a little tough to make jokes about that, because it’s a great cause. It’s also difficult, because every time I try to whip out the Little Tuna, they cut to a shot of someone in the audience tearing up. And normally I don’t cry until afterwards. So I don’t know, maybe we should just move it along?

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Miley Cyrus Does One Love

Emily Ratajkowski Could Use My Hands

Here’s Emily Ratajkowski getting dirty over the weekend with a few friends. And you know, I’ve been doing posts on Emily long enough now that I like to think we’re friends. OK, so yes, I know we’ve never actually met and/or talked, but I’m willing to pretend she’s a real “actress” whenever she does a movie. And if that doesn’t make me a good friend, I don’t know what would. So next time she needs a hand (or two), just call me. I’d do anything for my friends. Especially if it involves grabbing a handful of Emily Ratajkowski’s sweet booty.

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Emily Ratajkowski Could Use My Hands