Tag Archives: table-border

Anne Trainen Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

Meet Anne Trainen . I’m 99% sure that my latest Insta-find is from the Netherlands. Mostly because when I did my usual Google Search for her name it turned up a whole bunch of gibberish, like the results were written by the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. Anyway, otherwise, I don’t know too much about Anne here that you can’t already see with your own two eyes — like that she’s got a banging body and takes some A+ selfies. But luckily, you don’t really need to know much more than that, so just go ahead and enjoy. » view all 11 photos

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Anne Trainen Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

Anastasia Martzipanova Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

I know it probably feels like I say this every day at this point, but this time, I mean it: I just found my new favorite Russian. Her name’s  Anastasia Martzipanova , and after a quick 30-45 second scroll through her Instagram , I’m convinced that the two of us are meant to be together. She’s got everything I look for in a woman: a great booty, a terrific set of funbags, and yeah, that’s pretty much it. What more do you really need? » view all 12 photos

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Anastasia Martzipanova Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

Ariel Winter’s Booty Show

I don’t know who this dude is getting a handful of Ariel Winter ‘s booty in her latest Instagram bikini picture, but I guess that’s her new boyfriend. And I’m not going to lie, I’m getting a little jealous here. Not only am I never going to be able to get within groping distance of Ariel’s bikini booty, but I don’t think I’d be able to pick her up either. She’s not exactly light. And I’m not exactly buff. Guess I’d better go do a few more forearm reps just in case. Continue reading

Better Luck Next Time

Got to love a dude who trolls a criminal!

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Better Luck Next Time

Christie Brinkley Still Works A Swimsuit Good

According to my sources over at Google,  Christie Brinkley is still 63-freaking-years-old. But come on, that’s got to be wrong. Because according to my eyes, she’s got to be at least 20 years younger. I mean, just look at this photoshoot she did for SI’s 2017 Swimsuit Issue and try to tell me Christie doesn’t look better than most Instagram hotties half her age. But whatever. I may not be able to explain it, but I can definitely still enjoy it. » view all 15 photos

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Christie Brinkley Still Works A Swimsuit Good

Rich Kid Wannabe Model Ava Sambora Works It In A Bikini

I know I usually like to rag on rich kid models and point out how they’re only landing modeling contracts because of their famous parents. But let’s get real here: Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora aren’t exactly A-listers anymore, and Galore Magazine isn’t Vogue . So instead of getting cynical about this latest beach photoshoot from Ava Sambora , let’s just enjoy it for what it is: more pictures of another hot nobody/wannabe in a bikini. And those always work for me. Continue reading

Alexis Ren’s Sweet Booty Action

I’m still waiting for  Alexis Ren to realize that me and her are meant to be together, but until that happens, I guess I’m just going to have to keep drooling over her photoshoots. And you guys can feel free to join me. I’m not possessive or anything. So here’s the latest set of bikini pictures from my new favorite Insta-hottie. Enjoy. I know I will.

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Alexis Ren’s Sweet Booty Action

Instagram Model Oksana Rykova Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

You guys know I’ve had a serious thing for hot Russians lately (I’m just trying to get on Donald Trump’s good side). And I thought I’d found my new Russian crush in  Oksana Rykova . But turns out the Insta-hottie’s actually from Montreal. Hmm. Do they still do mail-order brides from Canada? I bet I wouldn’t have to pay as much for shipping and handling, at least. get it @j.crvz A video posted by Oksana (@oksana_rykova) on Apr 26, 2016 at 1:40pm PDT » view all 12 photos

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Instagram Model Oksana Rykova Would Make A Great Super Naughty Mail-Order Bride

Tanya Mityushina Will Blow Your Pants Off!

I have to look at pictures of a lot of hot models for this gig — I know, it’s a tough job, but hey, somebody’s got to do it — and in my professional opinion,  Tanya Mityushina here is hands down one of the hottest. I mean, not only does this blonde Russian babe have a killer body, but she also seems to have discovered a genius new way to wear a pair of cut-off jeans. Here’s hoping the trend catches on. » view all 15 photos Continue reading

Tanya Mityushina Will Blow Your Pants Off!

I have to look at pictures of a lot of hot models for this gig — I know, it’s a tough job, but hey, somebody’s got to do it — and in my professional opinion,  Tanya Mityushina here is hands down one of the hottest. I mean, not only does this blonde Russian babe have a killer body, but she also seems to have discovered a genius new way to wear a pair of cut-off jeans. Here’s hoping the trend catches on. » view all 15 photos Continue reading