I have been a huge fan, endorser, supporter of this Farrah Abraham Teen Mom sex tape since the beginning. Partially because I love all sex tapes that involve people who aren’t officially pornstars, but also because it was fucking hot. I posted the Exclusive Clip Of Her Squirting As much as she’s hated, or crying for attention, or has shitty implants and a bad face. And as much as people are mocking her and laughing at her cheap attempts to get attention. I honestly think the whole thing was fantastic. But maybe I just like
Just this morning, I was thinking to myself, what model would I want to have sex with given the opportunity to have sex with her, and this Emily Ratajkowski babe came to mind, something that never happens….making me ask myself “where has she been”, because for a minute, her awesome tits were everywhere, from GQ to Alan Thicke from Growing Pain’s son’s music videos, and she was really making moves….moves I expect will land her in SI Swimsuit this year, every girl’s dream, even if this girl can do so much more…..and all of a sudden, these new pics for some bathing suit company appeared in my inbox. Emily Ratatatatatatatatatatakowski and me are connected at the soul, she just doesn’t know it, but maybe all the love poetry I mail her will help inform her….. Sure, she’s not showing off her tits, but this body and face is spectacular, even when clothed, and I’m just glad it happened….unlike how I felt when I get hot sauce on my dick last night and shit just burnt for hours….even if it was the most stimulation I’ve had all week…thanks to the lost city of shit that is my wife’s pussy…and it’s weak muscles that can’t grab on and let me know how horrible my life is with every thrust. ALl this to say, Emily Ratajkowski is perfect, she’s won at life and I’m in love.
Miranda Kerr, finally free from the devil at Victoria’s Secret, has done a photoshoot for V Magazine, and decided to post it to her social media, all bootyful and amazing….because guess what, there is life after the oppressor, corporate demon that has you locked down in prison….cuz when you look like Miranda Kerr, lots of other people will want to pay you to get half naked, and even if they don’t, you can just take selfies like everyone else…Yay…
Sometimes I wonder where my life went wrong when posting catalog pics of some SI Swimsuit model getting paid thousands of dollars to get into swimsuits for some swimsuit brand because they figure if they book her, next year’s cover girl, now while she’s affordable…people everywhere will be posting and talking about their brand like they are Victoria’s Secret. Unfortunately, I don’t remember what the name of the brand is, not that it really matters, because the objective here is to look at Nina Agdal’s body while appreciating that she doesn’t look as DOWNS as she normally does. I guess she’s been working on making less retard lookin’ facial expressions…or maybe, just maybe her body is good enough for me to ignore…. Who cares.
Apparently, while the world was distracted by the insane decision by People Magazine to make Gwyneth Paltrow the number one most beautiful person in the world, a lie staged by Publicists and marketing people, in what we can all agree was an ad campaign for Iron Man 3, I mean if you put a 100 million dollars into a fucking movie, what’s an extra couple million to put the star of the movie in everyone’s mind, in a way that doesn’t seem like an ad. It helps sell tickets…Amanda Seyfried, my favorite little pop tart, young heart throb, Disney star turned naked in indy films, annoying in shitty romantic comedy films, boring in papaprazzi pics, but hot all around, never trying too hard….was in the issue too, dressed like a show girl, and shit got me excited so I’m posting the pics here….it’s kinda what I do.
Hilary Duff celebrated mother’s day by showing off her mom body in a bikini and I don’t think it was anything really worth celebrating…but that the same time…I love bikinis, and shit wasn’t so bad. I mean I don’t understand why the blogs are celebrating her sex appeal, as far as I’m concerned she’s got none…and this stuff by Hilary Duff is what you’d find at a thrift shop, all used and abused, far more tired, all for sale at a discount, rather than the prestine stuff by Hilary Duff available at Sears back when she mattered…. But I am sure her virgin loser fans are still into this, even if her arms are bigger, her ass bigger, her gut bigger, her vagina bigger….because bigger might not be better, but if you ask that dude who fucked that fat chick Saturday night cuz she was the last one standing in the bar and the only one willing to go home with him, bigger is better than nothing. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
Brazilian redhead Cintia Dicker reminds me that I want to fuck a redhead, because I never have…I’ve always been creeped out by them and their pale skin, bright pink vaginas, and clashing orange pubic hair. In fact the one time I tried to fuck a redhead, I gagged, but I’m older now, and shit is like the forbidden fruit I want to taste….even if redheads are not real humans…
Brazilian redhead Cintia Dicker reminds me that I want to fuck a redhead, because I never have…I’ve always been creeped out by them and their pale skin, bright pink vaginas, and clashing orange pubic hair. In fact the one time I tried to fuck a redhead, I gagged, but I’m older now, and shit is like the forbidden fruit I want to taste….even if redheads are not real humans…
Michea Crawford used to live in Montreal. We have a lot of mutual friends. I don’t think I’ve ever met her, which is probably a good thing, because if I did, I’d probably want to pull a Cleveland on her and make her my child bride, all locked in my basement. She’s just that perfect. Seriously. She’s got this amazing face, this amazing body, and is the kind of girl I would like to write my love about in my diary. You know the kind of girl I spend my entire life mourning never knowing, but feeling like a better man, knowing that we may have been in the same room at least once in our lives….forever connected at the soul….despite her not knowing who I am…kinda thing. All this to say, I am convinced she’s the next big thing in modeling, if she plays her cards right and hustles proper, there is no reason why she can’t be an SI Swimsuit girl or a Victoria’s Secret girl….I mean she’s as hot as those bitches…but I wouldn’t be too bummed if she kept up these nipple filled photoshoots for the rest of time…they are fun to stare at and fall in love with all over again. Michea Crawford for president.
Mom Adriana Lima is modeling for Victoria’s Secret, because why the fuck not, they pay her a lot of money, she’s contractually obliged and as long as it’s from this angle, no one sees the remnants of the natural disaster that happened to her pussy and stomach thanks to child birth….and despite hating moms and everything that comes with them…despite being a stepfather…I can always appreciate good ass in a small bikini…It’s my theme song…and she’s lookin’ good enough for me. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK
