Good men are hard to find. However these celebrity women have let their men run over them like a dirty welcome mat. Here are 9 celebrity women in need of some self esteem.
The rest is here:
Sprung: 9 Celebrity Women Who Let Their Men “Dirty Dog” Them
Posted in Celebrities, Hollywood, Hot Stuff
Tagged appid, caught creepin', celeb news, for your information, Hollywood, men, missing, multi, people ain't isht, shady, side women, smh
Dear Bossip , I am almost 26-years old and have been married to my husband for 5 years. He works night shifts and we hardly do anything together because he’s sleeping during the day because of his work schedule. We have a 3-year old together. Lately, I was having dreams of an ex from years ago. He was my first real boyfriend at age 18. I felt like I really missed him so I contacted him, and we text and talk daily. I miss what we had. I was thinking of an open relationship, but don’t know how to tell my husband. I am so confused. Can you guide me the right way and what do you think I should do? – Confused Woman Dear Ms. Confused Woman , So, let me make sure I’m hearing you correctly: You want to approach your husband and tell him that you want an open relationship because you miss what you had with an ex-boyfriend from when you were 18 years old. Yeah, you do that. I’ll wait on the next letter from you, that’s if you’ll be able to write from your coma. SMDH! Chile, here we go! I swear you folks will displace your emotions and feelings and blame the other person for what they are not doing, and you are a huge contributing factor of what’s the problem in your marriage. You won’t express yourselves, be honest, or truthful with your mates, and you don’t know how to express what you want, need, and desire. You don’t know how to use your words properly. You only create arguments, and when you’re not being heard, you do what you’re doing and that is seek out the attention of another because, “They understand me. They get me.” GROW THE DAMN HELL UP! In reality what is really going on is that you’re missing your husband’s affection and attention. You’re missing the intimacy with your husband because he works nights and is tired when he comes home and sleeps during the day. Therefore, because you won’t express to your husband what you’re feeling, and how it makes you feel undesirable, unwanted, and unloved, you’ve reached out to an ex-boyfriend to fulfill these desires. Instead of going to your husband to fulfill your desires and needs, you want to ask him for an open relationship so you can get what you want. Does that make any logical sense to you? Really? Does it? You’re trying to reenact a relationship from when you were 18-years old. Ma’am, you’re 26-years old, and you’re still thinking about a relationship you had when you were 18-years old. Therein lies the problem. You’re trying to recapture the past to make it your present. Eight years have gone by, yet, you’re still living in the past attempting to make it your present day reality. Sweetie, you’re married with a 3-year old child. Is it worth it to bring in another man into your marriage? Is it worth it to destroy your marriage, unravel what you’re building, and dismantle your family because you want an affair? All because you want intimacy, desire, and to feel loved, wanted, and needed. Wouldn’t it make more sense to go to your husband and say, “Honey, I know you work nights. I appreciate all that you do for our family. You work hard. You go above and beyond to make sure that we won’t go without. You care for us. You take good care of your child. You’re a real man and that is why I married you. However, I want to share with you that lately I’ve been feeling unwanted. I’ve been feeling unneeded, and undesirable. I need some intimate time with you. I want to spend some quality time with you as a family, and feel your presence. I know you’re tired when you get home, but is it possible that you can make an effort to consider my needs, my wants, and my desires. I want to make you feel like a man, and you want you to make me feel like a woman. Can we work on that as a team?” Now, I’m sure your husband would respond positively and would make an effort. But, you’ve got to work together. Hell, the man works nights. He’s tired when he comes home and you’re up and going a hundred miles an hour because you’ve slept and rested your body. He hasn’t had the time to rest and heal his body from an 8 or 12 hour shift. So, work together. Instead of being so dramatic and selfish, and wanting to ask for an open relationship, don’t be surprised if he responds negatively, and splits your damn wig! How about you stop communicating with your ex. You’re a married woman. You have a family. Focus on your family, and building what you’ve signed on for. End the communication and contact before it goes too far and you there is no coming back. You’ll find yourself losing everything – your child, and your husband. So, don’t fall back into your trifling, nasty, and hoe-ish ways. I’m not saying you are, but what you’re describing sounds like it. Communicate openly and honestly with your husband about your needs, desires, and wants. I’m sure you can resolve what you really want and get what you both need. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Continue reading
NY Real Estate Agency Gives Employees Who Get Company Logo Tattoo Raise Would you tattoo your employer’s logo on YOUR BODY for a measly 15% raise???? According to Business Insider: A Brooklyn real estate company has offered employees one of the nuttiest pay incentives we’ve ever heard of –– get a tattoo of the company logo and get a 15% raise. Anthony Lolli, founder of Rapid Realty, came up with the idea after doing business with a tattoo artist last year, ABC News reports. Lolli got a tattoo of the company logo afterward and decided to give employees an incentive to do the same. So far, at least 40 employees have taken him up on the offer. One brave employee, Robert Trezza, had only been working at the company for a month. “My wife was a little concerned, but I said you know what, it was the best commitment that I could think of,” he told ABC2 News. Honestly, we can’t blame these guys for taking the bait in order to put more cash in their pocket. The latest job market report wasn’t that great and employee compensation has hardly kept up with the rising prices of fixed costs like health care and housing. On the positive side, Lolli also offers 15% raises to employees who do a certain amount of charity work, reach certain work-related goals or mentor other workers. Although this all might sound a little ridiculous, at least the logo isn’t all that awful. It’s fairly discreet — two connected Rs in gray and green with the Rapid Realty name. Workers have gotten the tattoos in various places, from their arms to ankles to backs. Hopefully they plan on working for Rapid for some time. It costs upwards of $500 a session for laser tattoo removal, and it usually takes several sessions to complete the job. Lolli’s not the first to float the idea of getting tattoos as a form of company bonding. Jane Pratt, the editor of xojane.com, suggested last year that her staff all get matching XO ink to celebrate the company’s success. Well if that’s not company unity, we don’t know what is! Rapid Realty Continue reading
Dear Bossip , So, I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We both work and go to school, and try our best to take care of our children. But, the man I thought he was has completely took a turn. Last year, June 3, 2012, I found out he had a baby on me. I am 24-years old and he is 25-years old. The other woman is 40-years old, and after getting the complete details of their relationship it was all fun and games. And, it’s a shame because neither one had enough respect for themselves to use protection, but now they have a child that has to go through loops and holes because of their dumb behinds. I also found out that he has had several affairs with other woman. I was 6 month pregnant when I found out and it put me through a lot of stress, and actually so much stress that I delivered a month earlier. I love him and my girls love him, but I am still not over the whole situation and don’t know what to do. I still cry. I still hurt. I try talking to him but it gets nowhere. He says that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, but in my head three kids and then no relationship, all my children are with him, and we love him dearly. He has this other side that is sneaky and he doesn’t care many times it seems. I’m tired and have drained myself a lot with all that he has put me through. I just want to let go because it’s like he is not trying to change or work anything out. I told him that he and his other baby mom do not have to be friends to take care of that child, and I don’t want him in her house or riding around with her. They are not allowed to do anything together because they are not a family, but it drives me crazy because I know he has to converse with her because of the little girl. But, I’m just used to it being me and mine not some whore behind ole lady looking for a young check. Let’s make it clear that she has 9 children with 9 different men. She collects child support checks for a few of them $400-$500 for each, and now she gets $400 from him. She says she doesn’t care for him, but still causes us problems. I just can’t keep tabs on him. I don’t have the energy and time to waste especially if he already knows. I asked myself a thousand times what did I do for him to go out and cheat multiple times with multiple women. I cook. I clean. I take care of the kids. I work. I’m in college. I make sure home is taking care of. We have sex on the regular, and it is great on both parts. You don’t find many young women like me and I feel like he has walked over me. I don’t trust him with her, but I know nothing that goes on with him because he keeps everything in his phone which I’m not even allowed to touch. And, the baby mom is so desperate she will lie for him. I just don’t know, but I’m lost in love and hurt. It’s caused me so much pain. What do I do? I see that you are a very honest person and straight forward and that’s what’s best for me. – Where Do I Go Dear Ms. Where Do I Go , Ma’am, you can cook, clean, take care of the kids, work, go to school, own your own business, run the world, and make love to him every day. But, you cannot make a boy into a man! I’m sorry, but you women taking on the roles of surrogate mothers to these little a** boys, only keeps them in the role of little a** boys. They have not been taught how to be men, or how to act as men and be responsible. So, all you’re doing is becoming a second mother to them, weaning them on your tit, babying them, running after them, scolding them, chastising them, and hoping they will get it together. Sounds familiar? He’s a dog. He’s a cheater. He’s a whore. He’s a liar. He’s a deceiver. These are things you must tell yourself the truth about him. When you see the truth, speak the truth, then you can handle the truth accordingly. It’s important to not be in denial, or tell yourself something that isn’t the reality. Yes, he may have been good to you at one point, and a great father to his children, but how he is treating you and his children with what he is doing, and how he’s going about it only sets you up for doom. And, his children only see their father as a cheater, and a man who stepped out on their mother. So, what lessons will they learn? I swear you folks don’t think about the children in these instances, and the selflessness of your ignorance. And, I get it, you’ve been with your man for six years and have children together. I get it. You’ve invested in him, believed him, and hoped you would build a life with him. Chile, you only get one pity party with me, and then I’m turning on the lights and putting folks out! I’m not going to sit around and boo hoo and weep. No ma’am. Not over a man! Especially a man who’s told you that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Uhm, sweetie, as hard as that is to hear, and as hard it is to walk away from someone you’ve given your time, energy, body, and soul to, you’re going to have to muster the strength to walk away and let him go! Stop holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held! Stop trying to make someone be with you who doesn’t want to be with you! And, if someone wants to walk out of your life, please, please, please give them their luggage, and let them walk out! You say you’re tired. You say that you’re drained. You say that you don’t have the energy to run after him, make him do right, or be the man you want him to be. Then stop. Stop trying to make him the man YOU want. Stop running behind him. Stop giving him your energy, time, or body, and you will replenish yourself. Focus all that energy on yourself and your children. Focus on bringing you and your kid’s joy and happiness. If you keep waiting on him you will wear yourself out, and you will become bitter, angry, and depressed. And, you’re already on the brink because your letter is wreaking of the symptoms. You’re writing bashing him and the other woman. Well, the other woman has nothing to do with this. You don’t know what your man told her. He probably lied to her and didn’t tell her he was in a relationship. They both chose not to use condoms. But, your man knew better. He stepped out his relationship with you. He is the culprit. So, going after her is not going to solve your problems. Get over it, and her! And, as a matter of fact, she is going to be involved in his life for the next 18 years, and collecting a check. So, she is the smart one. You’re the one trying to turn a hoe into a husband! SMDH! Girl, you better get a grip and start collecting the other remaining half of his checks before he gets another woman pregnant and she takes the other half. So, baby girl, you’re going to have devise an exit plan, and it starts today. Today you let him go, and you tell yourself that it’s not worth it to have a boy who is not a man. Why would you want to be in a relationship with a little boy who is still playing games and looking for his momma? You’re not a surrogate, and you didn’t sign up to play one. Since he won’t let you touch his phone, and he doesn’t want you to know what he’s doing, where’s he been, and, he’s sleeping with other women, yet, he is still living with you, then you take his a** to court and apply for child support. Handle your business accordingly, as he is apparently handling his. Then, put him out. Let him go live with his momma, or his other baby momma. But, you cannot take care of him while he is running the streets. Put an end to that –ish today! You are not responsible for raising someone else’s child. And, if you keep running after him, trying to get him to commit to you, and make him do what you want him to do, then you are trying to raise another child. STOP IT! Work on you. Love you enough to walk away. Love your children enough to walk away. Find a spiritual family, or a church to join, and replenish your soul. It’s time to let yourself be nourished in goodness, joy, happiness, and peace. Give to yourself, and you will eventually move on from him. It will take time, but once you do you will look back and wonder what you ever saw in him in the first place. TRUST ME! – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Continue reading
Dear Bossip , I have been married for three years. We are both in our late 20’s and are having the worst problems. When we first married I lost my father, and my husband was semi there for me. But, there were warning signs of him not being the one. He would drink every weekend so much that he wouldn’t come home the next day and never could tell me where he was. Women showed up at our door saying they slept with him, but I was so grief stricken I believed him and not them. I felt if we got married things would change between us. NOT! Things got worst. He would party every weekend, not come home, and I would find text messages and phone calls in the early mornings to other women. I left him for about two weeks during our year and half of marriage. He changed a little. But, it was also going into wintertime so of course he wanted to stay home. For these past three years of our marriage he has been in and out of jobs. So, I have had the only income. Yes, he cooked and worked around the house, but all that stopped this past year. His father passed away unexpectedly. It was like my husband’s life was turned upside down. He was raised by his father from ages 11-18. They were extremely close. Now, my husband has been left with all this money from insurance and acts like he could care less about me or this marriage. He says he has other things to worry about. I have been finding him texting other women, confirmed he has met up with a few of them. But, I have no confirmation he has slept with any of them. He says it’s due to my mouth, and if I would stop talking so much he would be around more. Yes, I have a mouth sharper than a razor. My tongue can cut through knives. But, I only lash out because I am hurt. I am hurt from the physical abuse, the cheating, the lying, and the emotional abuse. I know he has a lot of issues. And, I have always been known to want to save the world. I know he can be the man I need him to be. He has potential and I can see it in him. But, he said he will never change. This is who he was when I married him. I want to help him, I love him. I think I just don’t want to give up on the marriage since I am so young. And, maybe if he seeks counseling maybe he can change for the better. What do I do? – In love with Mr. Wrong Dear Ms. In Love With Mr. Wrong , Chile, I truly don’t get you people. Why are you all so against marriage counseling prior to getting married, and even after? Don’t they still offer those classes and sessions for couples who are considering walking down the aisle? Isn’t it still possible for folks to meet with their pastors and get some spiritual and marriage counseling so couples can see if they are the right match, and any issues or concerns can be resolved before marrying? Honey, y’all will meet someone one week, and by next week you’re planning the marriage. You don’t know anything about each other except that the sex is off the chain. And, all of a sudden you’re in love and can see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. Get the freak out here with that bull-ish!!! And, some of you women around here with this “savior complex,” and want to save the damn world need a damn reality check. The hell! You’re not superwoman. You’re not even supergirl. You want to save someone else’s life, but your life is a horrid mess. The hell you look like trying to help someone else when you need some damn help yourself? If you’re spiritually, mentally, and emotionally broken then how the hell can you be of some assistance and help to someone else? How about saving your own damn selves, and working on you and your low self-esteem. Peep the video, “Worry About Yourself!” Please take heed and follow the instructions of this little girl. She’s got more sense than some of you grown a** women! Here’s the sad part: You’re trying to build him into the man you want him to be. Well, what about the man he already is, and the man HE wants to be? Have you thought about what he wants and who he wants to become? And, then you sit your simple self up here and say, “He has potential and I can see it in him.” Uhm, sweetie, I’ve said this a thousand times, STOP DATING THE POTENTIAL IN PEOPLE. You women get so caught up in the potential of a man, and who you see him becoming, but if that is not his vision, or idea, or dream, or desire, then he will never be your potential, or the man you want him to be. STOP IT! Who he is today, he will be tomorrow. It’s as simple as that. And, if you have proof that your husband is cheating on you with other women, either texting, staying out late, and random women showing up at your door claiming they slept with him, then why are you sitting your dumba** over there waiting for some actual physical proof? Leave his a**!!! In the three years you’ve been together your husband has consistently been seeking out other women, texting and having relations, and he has been physically, mentally, and verbally abusive, then in what year do you think he will change, ma’am? If his behavior has been consistent for three years then I want you to take a look at your marriage and your husband and you tell me what is consistent about him? Because I see it. Chile, you better change your mantra from “Change we can believe in,” to “Change made me leave!” I’m a firm believer that some folks don’t belong together. Yes, you can love someone, but you don’t have to be with them to love them. You can love someone from a distance and maintain your sanity and health. Some people do more harm when they are with you, than apart. Look, your marriage is poisonous. You both are hurting one another and going on these vicious attacks to get one over on the other person. Hurt people hurt people. And, it’s clear that you’re both hurting. And, you don’t know how to resolve the issues and problems other than attack one another because you don’t see one another as your partner, or spouse, but as some random person who is out to personally attack and destroy you. You are his wife, and he is your husband. If you and he are serious about saving your marriage, then explore a professional licensed marriage counselor. You both have some unresolved issues and a counselor, or therapist, can help you address them. If he is unwilling, and he continues with his behavior, which to me shows his lack of respect, and love for you, then you should explore divorcing him. He clearly is, and does not take into consideration your feelings, and emotions. And, if he’s particularly physically and verbally abusive, then definitely leave his a**! No one should put up with a spouse who calls them out of their name and puts their hands on them. Be the change you want and deserve. Stop waiting on him to change. You teach people how to treat you, and if someone continues to berate and demean you, then you taught them how to treat you. And, both you and I know that you don’t deserve to be treated any ole’ kind of way. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: After Three Years Of Marriage I Think I Married Mr. Wrong
Posted in Celebrities, Hollywood, Hot Stuff
Tagged Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity News, House, lost, Love, Marriage, medium, men, Relationships, Sex, stars, TMZ, wife, women
Hey guys, this is my Bieber experience. It seems so surreal to look back on something that happened just a couple days ago and realize I met such a huge part of my life. I met Justin Drew Bieber on 21/2/2013 at Manchester MEN Arena with meet & greet tickets. A lot of people think to get meet and greets, you have to be rich but you don’t, I started saving for my tickets before Christmas 2012 to make sure I had enough money. I worked 4 times a week and saved every penny I earned. It doesn’t just come from nowhere. On Thursday, the day of the concert, my mum drove my friends Lizzie, Molly and myself down to Manchester which is over a 4 hour drive from where. When we arrived at around 11:45 a.m. we booked into our hotel which we could see the arena from and dropped our bags in. We headed straight for the Lowry Hotel where Justin had stayed while on the My World Tour hoping to catch a glimpse of him (he didn’t end up staying there which kinda sucks). While we were there, we happened to catch sight of Cody Simpson getting off his bus and he waved over at us. At around 2:30 p.m. we headed back to the hotel to get ready to book in for the meet and greet at 4. We waited in the queue before getting our wristbands to meet Justin. While we were waiting to be taken the waiting area we saw Kenny and shouted his name. He looked over, smiling big and waved at us! At around 5:20 p.m. I heard the voice of an angel call, “I’m here!” from behind the curtain and I could feel my eyes starting to water. I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t cry and just be ‘another fan’. I made loads of conversation with the host while we were waiting and he promised to give Justin the scrapbook we made him. We waited at the curtain and I could see Justin taking photos with the people before us, so I went to put my bag down but the guy taking the photos said, “No, keep your stuff” even though we’d just been told to drop them haha. I was first to go over to him and said, “Hiya” and he pulled me in for a hug and said, “Hey.” That one word literally made my stomach do flips! Then my friend Lizzie walked over and stood on Justin’s other side, giving him a hug. My other friend, Molly, was the last in and went over to say hi but just stood in front of him all cute and shocked. I mean, I get it, it’s Justin Drew Bieber. So Justin showed her where to stand and said, “Right here, right here,” smiling. He then made sure we were ready and said “Ready? 1, 2, 3.” Then the camera clicked twice and our turn was almost over! We quickly shouted, “I love you!” to Justin and he called back, “I love you too.” HE LOVES US. As we were leaving I’d noticed that Fredo was standing next to the photographer so I shouted “FREDO! HI” and waved at him really big even though he was literally touching distance away. He waved and smiled back and wait for it.. HE FREAKING WINKED AT ME! My eyes widened and the smirk on his face, omg. Then we all left the meet and greet room and I literally just burst into tears. I was like sobbing for a good 10 minutes then we were led into the arena where we could take our seats. The concert was unbelievable. We saw Dan Kanter watching Carly do her thing from the side and he smiled at all of us in our section and when Carly was on. Justin was perfect and the amount of times he looked over at us can’t even be counted on two hands , it was incredible. You can see how grateful he is in everything he does, you could see he was tired but he pulled through like a trouper and I’m so proud to call him my idol. I can’t say that Justin pulled me to the side and kissed me on the cheek or that I hung out with the crew for like half an hour but I met my idol and I got a photograph with him – which I never thought would happen. It’s easier for me to say you’ll meet Justin when I’ve already met him but I promise you, if you stay positive and believe that you will meet him, you will. 21/2/2013 – the day I met Justin Drew Bieber and all of my dreams came true. -Lauren (@lbiebergarrigos) Continued here: Hey guys, this is my Bieber experience. It seems so surreal to…
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Hey guys, this is my Bieber experience. It seems so surreal to…
Dear Bossip , I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now and I am pregnant. We connected instantly and love each other a lot. We are both happy about the baby and spending our lives together just sounds amazing. My issue is that he smokes weed every day. He has done so for about 4 years and says he “wants to quit.” Let me inform you that this “man” cannot hold a job due to failing drug tests. We have yet to go on a first date because he “never has money.” He has anger issues and is rarely positive. He had a job for about a week then got fired because his drug test came back tampered with. He says he wants a job but can’t quit the weed. It is so bad that one day me, him, his friend, and his friend’s girl went riding around. His friend saw a guy selling roses on the street and got his girlfriend one. I said, “awww,” hoping he would do the same. Nope, he instead says, “Man, why would you do that? You make me look bad. You know this is my re-up money for weed.” So, apparently $5 is too much to spend on me. He never has money for me, but always has money for weed. I want to go to movies and out to eat, just basic romance. Romance doesn’t exist here! I fear the weed is making his anger worse. Our arguments don’t seem like arguments they seem like him telling me what I am doing “wrong” and his harsh words make me cry. I am starting to think that I decided to have a child with the wrong guy and I don’t know what to do. He is incredibly selfish and I think I am figuring this out when it’s too late. We’re about to have a child and I don’t want him to pick weed over my child because that is just ridiculous and I hope he has more sense. I need some advice please. – In Love With A Weed Head Dear Ms. In Love With A Weed Head , You’ve been dating a man for 9 months, and you’re already pregnant!?! Sigh! Here we go with this backwards asinine bull-ish, yet, again! Ladies and gentlemen, and all you tax payers out there this is where and what your money benefits. This is the support that you contribute to each year to help pay for. Ms. Honey, you barely know this man, and you’re up here talking about y’all are so in love. In the beginning of your letter you’re saying how you both are excited about the baby, and how spending your lives together sounds amazing. Bwahahahahahahaha! Uhm, sweetie, notice that by the end of your letter you’re expressing regret that you’ve decided to have a child with the wrong guy, and you don’t know what to do. He’s selfish and your arguments are of him telling you what you did wrong and his harsh words make you cry. Now, I may not be a rocket scientist, but, err, uhm, I do know this — if in one letter, you go from being in love and excited about having a baby to regret over your decision and the uncertainty of your future together, then by my math and calculations you’re not as happy as you say you are, and you’re hoping things will turn around, but you know they won’t, therefore, you’re considering if going through with this entire relationship will end up with you being another statistic as a BABY MOMMA TO A NO-GOOD TRIFLING ABSENTEE FATHER. And, my answer is, yes, you’re correct in your assumption. Now, let me see if I can get this short yellow bus to pick you up and bring you to my school, The Women’s Academy For Transformation From Donkey To Lady . I’m holding a spot especially for you! Ma’am, by reading your letter, and from what you shared about him and his weed habit, as well as his behaviors, I’m surmising that he may have a mental health problem. Now, I’m not a specialist, psychiatrist, or expert, but from what you’ve described about his erratic behavior, mood swings, anger issues, inability to hold a job, and his need for weed every day all day is a typical sign of someone who is self-medicating themselves who suffers from a mental health issue that he may not have been diagnosed. But, again, I’m speculating based on the information you provided. Also, he has an addiction. That is certain. He is addicted to drugs, and if you can’t see that, and refuse to believe that he is, then you are just as in denial as he is. And, you are an enabler, along with his family and friends. Yes, all of you are playing a part of his drug addiction by allowing him to continue to use drugs, yet, no one is stepping in to help him see this, or even offer treatment. You all sit by and say, “Well, it’s just weed. So, what he smokes every day. He’s not hurting anyone.” Despite what you think or heard, marijuana is a drug. And, if your man is using every day, and he is using his money, the very little he has, to buy it, and he is unable to maintain a job, and his behavior is affected when he is not using, then HE HAS A DRUG PROBLEM! If he will prefer to buy drugs over food, or even to take you out and do nice things with you, HE HAS A DRUG PROBLEM! If he refuses to stop using in the efforts of maintaining and holding a job longer than a week, HE HAS A DRUG PROBLEM! And, if you think that he will choose weed over his child, then you are absolutely correct. HE WILL CHOOSE WEED OVER HIS OWN CHILD BECAUSE HE HAS A DRUG PROBLEM! No, he is not a winner. No, you did not choose wisely with this man as a mate. No, you are not a priority to him, nor will your child. He will choose weed over you and his child every time. He is not fit to be a father. He is not suitable as a mate. He is not worthy to waste your time investing in this relationship because for the short 9 months you’ve been together, he has been consistent in one thing, and one thing only – buying and smoking weed every day. This is what you’ve known about him the entire time you’ve been with him, yet, YOU decided to overlook this and procreate with him. Why? I don’t know. The –ish people do for love, for a man, and for a relationship baffles me every day when I open my inbox and read the letters. So, what woman in her right mind would continue to lay with a man, and have unprotected sex with a man who has no job, cannot maintain a job, and who smokes weed every day? Oh, yeah, that woman is you, and I’m certain that you are not in your right mind. Something is clearly wrong with you. At some point you have to take responsibility for your actions. You have to take responsibility for your part in all of this. You allow him to talk down to you, berate you, and make you feel bad. You allow him to buy weed every day, yet, he has no job, and the little money he gets, which is probably from you, helps him to get high and not take responsibility for his life, or the life he has helped to create with you. Therefore, he is not, will not, and cannot be accountable. He has no respect for you, nor are you are priority to him. If he will not buy a $5 rose for you now, he will not spend $5 in the future on you, or his child. If he won’t take you out to dinner, movie, or do simple things, he will not do it later. And, he won’t even spend time with his child once the child is here. If he won’t stop smoking weed to maintain and keep a job now, then he will not stop smoking weed when the child is born to help take care of his responsibility. He has shown you who he is. Believe him. And, I believe that his only responsibility is to make sure he gets his weed every day to drown out whatever misery, pain, or mental/emotional challenge he has. You will be another statistic of a baby momma dealing with a no-good trifling man who won’t pay child support, or help care for his child. And, you will become bitter and angry because you will feel that he is doing you wrong. The cycle continues, and will repeat, yet again. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: He Won’t Spend $5 On Me Because He Smokes Every Day & Can’t Maintain A Job & I’m Pregnant
Posted in Celebrities, Hollywood, Hot Stuff
Tagged books, Celebrity Gossip, Hollywood, medium, men, mma, Relationships, Sex, TMZ
Dear Bossip , I am a single mother to a one year old boy. Promising myself that I won’t have to sing the “single black mama” song for the rest of my life, I continued with med school and recently graduated. During this time, I met the man of my dreams. He’s open, generous, kind, understanding and forgiving. Besides the fact that I love him, I have never met another human being like him in my life. He is truly the type of person that no one can speak ill of. When we met, I had vowed celibacy, maybe that it why things were different this time around. I got to know him in every single way without being intimate with him. He accepts me, faults and all and the reason I am writing you is because I whole heartedly want to be able to do the same for him. About a month after we began dating, we were having a conversation about sexual transmitted diseases. He randomly adds to the conversation that gay men are not allowed to give blood being of the risks of HIV. At first I thought, “How horrible, gay men are people too and not all gays should be assumed to have HIV.” However, my second thought was, “Why would you be concerned about gay men being able to give blood unless you were gay?” Without even knowing I blurted out, “Are you gay?” He answered no. I then asked, “Are you bisexual?” He again answered no. I left his apartment that night feeling very uneasy. The next day he said he wanted to talk. While we were in school, I’d asked him if he ever slept with anyone in the school and he told me he didn’t want to talk about it. I pressed him and he said he was involved in a horrible love triangle that would’ve ruined his career but he refused to tell me anymore. Well, today he was ready to tell me the whole story. He was sleeping with a girl who wanted to be his girlfriend. They were good friends with another couple in the school. My boyfriend began “hooking up” with his friend’s boyfriend. He had a sexual relationship with him, but he says he has never had sex with a man. Long story short, all parties are made aware of the undercover relationship. Both females involved are scorned (understandably) and tell everyone in the school, essentially outing both men who no one knew were gay before. When I found out I was heartbroken, angry and embarrassed, I felt as if I had been dating a gay man and no one felt the need to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey, you know he’s gay right?” He says that he is bisexual but prefers women. He tried to explain that his attraction to men differs from that of his attraction to women. I don’t know how I managed to get over it, but I did. It took time, and a lot of Googling, but I eventually accepted it, or so I thought. I recently met his parents and we are supposed to be taking our first vacation together later this summer. He has yet to meet my family and son. I don’t know if I mentioned that I am African and he is Jewish. At first I thought this was the reason I have been hesitant to bring him home, and also the fact that my family is crazy, old school and will ruin a relationship they don’t approve of. But, lately I have been thinking maybe it’s because I have a bisexual boyfriend. Am I afraid he will be improper with my son? Am I afraid that his openness about his sexuality will cause my family to disown me? Can we get married if I’m Christian? How will that work? I have all of these questions. I feel like I am at a point in the relationship where if I cannot see myself spending my life with him I should not drag it out. BUT I sincerely care for him, and minus his bisexuality, he would be perfect. I don’t know what to do. – Sexuality Obsolete Dear Ms. Sexuality Obsolete , So, let me get this straight (no pun intended) LOL! Your man is bisexual, but he did not come out forthright to disclose this information to you until you pressed him about it? And, when you did question him, he lied, then eventually told you the truth? And, though you say you’ve gotten over his sexual preference, you’re considering marriage with a man who is bisexual, and you’re wondering if your religion will impact your lives? Girl, you obviously missed the short yellow bus this morning. I’m going to call them and have them swing back through and wait for you. I swear these letters get better and better every day. Well, let me ask you this – What do you stand to gain in marrying a man who is bisexual? He has revealed to you, that though he prefers women, he has an attraction for men. So, are you going to throw on a strap-on and bang him out? What happens when he feels the need to satisfy his attraction for men, and need some stiff loving? What happens when he’s out and about, or gone for long extended periods of time, or you’re gone for long extended periods of time, and he wants to get his man meat satisfaction? How is he supposed to shut off the part of him that has an attraction for men just because he marries you? No matter what you think, hope, or want to love him enough to be with just you, he has a desire to be with men. There is nothing you can do to make him only want and desire just you. He’s going to fulfill his desires for men, regardless of what he tells you. Unfortunately, you don’t have the necessary equipment to satisfy his long dong desires. Now, being the educated, smart, intelligent woman that you say that you are, I’m concerned that you would put yourself in this situation knowing all this information about his bisexuality and, yet, you will continue the relationship. Obviously, there is something missing within you that you feel he is the only man that can bring you love, happiness, joy, and monogamy. So, ask yourself, “What am I missing within myself? Why do I feel the need to be with a man who is bisexual and needs the comfort, and pleasure from another man? While I’m giving him 100% of me, I will only be getting 50% of him. Is that enough for me? And, when he comes to me and tells me that he is desiring a man and needs to satisfy his desires am I strong enough to let him get his back blown out and come back home to me?” But, this is a sidebar question: You say that you completed medical school and your boyfriend randomly adds to the conversation that gay men are not allowed to give blood being of the risks of HIV. And, at first you thought, “How horrible, gay men are people too and not all gays should be assumed to have HIV.” Uhm, hmmm, if you just finished medical school wouldn’t that be something you learn in school? How could you not know that bit of information? I’m just asking because that seems so odd that you, someone who has finished medical school, would not know. (Giving you the side eye) What medical school did you attend? (Lips pursed rolling eyes) Anyway, there is nothing that can come of your relationship with this man. He is bisexual. He will never be completely yours. He has a desire and attraction for men. He will step out and get his fill regardless of how strong he tells you that he is or wants to deny himself. He’s lying. Just like he lied to you when you asked him about his sexuality. He has no problem lying, and if he did it once he’ll do it again. You say that you’re wondering and are afraid that he will be improper with your son. Then, you need not be with this man. Besides, him being bisexual has nothing to do with pedophilia. He has an attraction for men, not little boys. Therefore, please educate yourself. And, again, if you’re thinking he’s going to do something with your son, and this will always be on your mind, then why even entertain continuing the relationship, let alone marriage? SMDH! Chile, I swear you’re not as educated as you think you are. Did that short yellow bus arrive yet? Next, you’re afraid that his openness about his sexuality will cause your family to disown you. Uhm, you think! Of course they will disown you. They will be giving you the side eye, and probably will knock some damn sense into your head. They will never accept him. That’s the truth of the matter. Can you get married if you’re Christian? How will that work? It won’t. Ma’am, he’s Jewish. If he’s traditional Jewish, you will have to convert. Otherwise, this will not work. But, let me wrap this up. You say that you care for him, minus his bisexuality. Well, boo boo, that is a part of him. You can’t ignore it and hope it goes away. It’s not. Therefore, by my deductions and calculations this relationship is not going to work, last, or endure. Why drag this out? Honey, get out and move on. Otherwise, you’re going to find yourself like his ex-girlfriend and discover your man is sleeping with your best friend’s boyfriend. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: I’m Christian, He’s Jewish & I Want To Marry Him, But He’s Bisexual
Dear Bossip , The question I have is how can I tell when my girlfriend is in denial? She has this guy that’s a friend, so she says. They have been friends for like 7 months. She says they have never done anything, but she tells me she goes to his house and sits in his room and waits on him to come out the shower and she says she watches him get dressed. I didn’t believe what I heard. And, she says nothing is going on. Just yesterday I found a condom wrapper on her bathroom floor. So, when I asked her about it she started laughing, talking about I put it there from the last time I was there. I know that wasn’t true. I don’t even use Trojan’s. So, the other morning she gets a bunch of clothes in the mail from UPS from her friend. I feel like I’m in competition with this guy. – Is She In Denial Dear Mr. Is She In Denial , (* *) Blank stare at you and this email. Uhm, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but homie, you’re the one in denial. She clearly has game and is running it on you and her “friend.” Now, come on, bruh, what woman is claiming a man as a friend that she’s only known for 7 months? (Come, let me help you off that yellow bus. You’re holding up traffic.) And, for real, for real, she is sitting in his house, in his room, and waits for him to come out of the shower and watches him get dressed. But, they haven’t done anything? LMBAO! You’re just as gullible as you want to be, aren’t you? Naw, they are not having sex, he is banging her, and they may not be doing it at his house, but they sure as hell are doing it at her house. You found a condom wrapper on the bathroom floor and it’s a brand you don’t use, and she starts laughing claiming you put it there. (In my Fred Sanford voice – “You big dummy!”) If you don’t use Trojan condoms and it’s on your girlfriend’s bathroom floor, then how do you think it got there? I’ll wait for your response. Now, if you found a condom wrapper (no condom inside) on your girlfriend’s bathroom floor, where do you think it came from if you don’t use Trojan’s, and where is the condom? Again, I’ll wait for your response. Okay, I’m back. Sorry it’s taking me some time to answer your letter but there was this yellow bus sitting in the middle of the road and this boy was refusing to get off. He kept banging his head on the seat mumbling something about his girlfriend and her “friend.” Now your woman has received a UPS package filled with clothes from her “friend.” I don’t know what she is lacing her vagina walls with, but whatever it is it obviously has you delusional, deranged, and diluted. Look, Mr. Is She In Denial , let me wrap this up. It’s obvious your girl got another man and is playing the both of you. Her game is so tight that she got you believing imaginary tales of her being friends with another man, and watching him get dressed as he gets out of the shower. (* *) Blank stare. Chile, miss me and that train ride. If she is friends with him, then ask her to have all three of you go hang out. Tell her to introduce you to her friend. As a matter of fact, confront them when you do go out about the clothes he sent her and why he sent them, if he is her friend. Maybe he works at Macy’s and got a great discount. LMBAO! And, if you got the condom wrapper put it on the table and ask him if he forgot it the last time he was at her house. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t with you people. Boy, you really are silly and whipped on that girl’s coochie. She must have put it on you something awful. I suggest you get out of the relationship, move on, and stop being in denial about her situation with her “friend.” He’s not her friend. Well, maybe a friend with benefits. She is getting something from the both of you, and you’re stupid enough to continue giving it to her. Homie, you’re being played! Get your underwear from out your a** and man up. Stop being hooked on coochie and get hooked on reality! – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: I Think My Girl’s Male Friend Is More Than A Friend
Posted in Celebrities, Hollywood, Hot Stuff
Tagged athletes & hoes, black celebrity gossip, books, celeb news, Condom, dating, Entourage, men, Relationships, sex and relationships, ups, yellow
Dear Bossip , One of my good friends’ mutual friend befriended me on Facebook about two years ago. He thought I was beautiful and wanted to carry a conversation with me. I thought he was cute but didn’t really care to entertain him; plus I was in an on and off relationship. Still, we exchanged numbers and texted. It wasn’t deep but it helped pass the time. During the time his college was 4 hours from mine. I had no intentions on ever seeing him and just wanted to keep him at a distance. Later, something happened that made me lose interest so I left it alone. He would hit me up once in a blue, but for the most part I left it alone. Last summer his father died so he moved back in with his mom to help her out. I hit him up to give my condolences and to let him know that I was here. People always say I’m here when someone dies, but I really meant it because I lost my father a few years ago. Anyways our conversations picked up again. I had just gotten out of my 4 year on and off again relationship and wasn’t looking for anything. I expressed that very firmly. The more we talked the deeper it got and of course I caught feelings. I fought it and gave my all not to give in but his words got me. I’d like to think I’m a very strong woman, but I put my guard down. He said he was willing to be just my friend until I was ready. I never felt like I would be ready. The timing wasn’t good. In 6 months I’m leaving to spend 2 ½ years teaching sick kids in Africa. But, again, I was just passing time. Soon our text messages turned into 4-5 hour phone calls almost every night. He made me laugh harder than anyone and we had so much in common. He told his family and friends about me and he was always on my mind. I even took a 2 ½ hour drive to see him one day. The chemistry was too real. I couldn’t deny it. I never slept with him, but it did get hot and heavy. (I told him I had a three month rule). Any way, he was supposed to come spend the weekend with me later on that month. I went out and bought all of this food because I love to cook. I was so excited to see him. He told me he would be at my house at 9 that night, only 9 came and went. Around 10:30 I got a text message saying that he couldn’t make it because of the drive and not having gas money. WTF!? I was pissed. I didn’t even get a phone call! He ended up calling me later, but I was too upset to pick up. We talked about it two days later and I let him know why I was disappointed. I wanted to believe in him. We all make mistakes so I let it go. At a later time I had some errands to run in his home town so I took that 2 ½ hour drive again and we had planned to meet up. To make a long story short he ended up flaking again. First time shame on you, the second time shame on me. And, with me there is no third time. It’s been two months and since then I’ve deleted his number and he’s called once and texted once. No apology or voicemail. I didn’t fall in love with him, but I liked him enough to put my guard down. Who spends 5 hours on the phone everyday with someone if they don’t care about you!? Why waste your time and introduce me to your sister and tell your family about me if you had intentions on being an a**? Am I crazy? Did I do something wrong? I’m a 2-year old college graduate with 3 jobs (the epitome of Miss Independent). I’m strong, beautiful, and very intelligent, but how could I be so dumb? How did the perfect guy end up being a wolf in sheep’s clothing? – Confused About His Behavior Dear Ms. Confused About His Behavior , Welp! Lesson learned. Don’t fret over it. Don’t get your panties into a bunch. And, definitely don’t let it consume you. He showed you his a** and thank the lord you didn’t bend over to kiss it. Who knows why he did what he did. There are lots of reasons. And, only he knows why. But, I wouldn’t let it bother me because you didn’t lose out on anything. You didn’t have sex with him. Thank goodness. And, the only thing you invested in was hours of conversation of your time. Please thank your lucky stars that you did not invest any large amount of money, resources, or sexual liaisons with him. Then you would be even angrier. But, let’s look at a few clues that lead to his silly and immature behaviors. 1.) You are not the first, nor will be the last girl he finds cute or beautiful on Facebook and want to have conversation with. Girl, most men peruse Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram stalking women’s profiles. All of these online sites make it easy for men (especially sexual predators) to have free access to your life. All the photos of that you post, and what you’re doing, and who you’re hanging with provides many men with insights into your psyche. And, the games begin. They are hunting for p***y. They make these elaborate schemes of playing on women’s emotions and feelings hoping one of them will be easy enough to get into his bed, and he can lay claim he blew your back out. And, you ladies make it easy for them because you put all your business out there. All a man has to do is read your status updates, read your timelines, and voila, you’ve given him insights to your life and world. SMDH! Y’all gon’ learn tuhday! 2.) Notice that in the beginning that he was keeping it light and easy. Just as you were. Any man who is really and genuinely interested in a woman will make every attempt in getting to know her. He will not only text, but call, SKYPE, and make attempts on visiting you. His conversation is not primarily on sex, and when you’re going to let him hit. He’s really interested in you, and getting to know you. But, men are good at deception. They will play your game, however, once you laid the 3-month rule on him, he hit the ground running. He thought you would be an easy lay. And, when you didn’t put out, he lost interest. You should be so lucky, and glad you stuck to your guns. Don’t every compromise yourself for a one-night stand. 3.) Don’t ever. EVER! EVER! Make the first move by driving to a man’s house and he’s made no attempts to come see you. The thirst is heavy and strong if you drive to a man’s house first. If you go to his home first, and you drive long distances, or fly across country, uhm, he feels and thinks that he’s going to get some. He thinks you’re going to spread your legs for him because only a woman who is vulnerable, weak, and d**k hungry will drive or fly to go see a man first. Ladies, if he’s interested in you, and getting to know you, then he has to be the one who makes the first move, and in coming to see you. He has to make the effort in coming to you. And, meet in a mutual public place. Do not go to his house. Do not invite him to yours. I don’t care how long you’ve been texting, or talking on the phone. I don’t care how comfortable you may feel. You don’t know him as well as you think you do. You’re playing with your life inviting strangers into your home. 4.) When his dad died, you became his shoulder to lean on. You became a voice and person to confide in. When people lose a loved one, especially a parent, they become vulnerable. They want someone they can talk to and someone they feel they connect with. And, what comes next with someone who is vulnerable, SEX! Their guard is down. They want to feel wanted. They want to be comforted. And, sex is an easy and accessible way inside their lives. He wanted sex. He wanted you to really show you cared for him by laying with him. And, you were like, “Oh, no ma’am. I’m not an easy chick. And, that you weren’t cheap.” Once you didn’t give up the goods, he became disinterested. You were not worth the investment in getting to know further. Again, be glad he walked out of your life. Be thankful that he showed you who he really was. 5.) The first time he flaked when he was supposed to come see you, and by 9pm when he didn’t arrive, and you didn’t get a text from him until 10:30pm with him saying he wasn’t coming because he didn’t have any gas money, that let’s me know that he had no intention on coming at all. Why wait an 1 ½ later to text. He didn’t even call. He texted you. Girl, puhlease. He doesn’t deserve any more conversation after that. Yeah, he may have really wanted to come, but he had the entire day to come up on some gas money for the drive to your house. But, I don’t buy it. A man who is interested in any woman will find the means and ways to get to the woman he wants to be with. Trust me! Then, you give him another opportunity when you had to go to his city and he flaked again. Girl, no! NO! NO! NO! NO! (In my Destiny’s Child voice). Lastly, when you revealed to him that you were going to South Africa for 2 ½ years, and on top of that, you have a 3-month rule before having sex, and you leave in six months, chile, ain’t nobody got time for that! He wanted to hit it before you left, and keep it moving. He isn’t nor wasn’t invested in anything longer with you. And, you shouldn’t be thinking of anything long-term either. You’re not going to be here. So, why invest in something with someone and you’re going to be gone for 2 ½ years? That doesn’t make any sense. Look, this is a lesson learned. He’s not worth your time, presence, or friendship. Delete him as you’ve already done from all your social media sites, and keep his number deleted. As a matter of fact, put DNA (Do Not Answer) next to his number so that way when he calls or texts again, you’ll know better than to answer. Also, you’re young. You’re leaving to go to South Africa for 2 ½ years to make a difference in other’s lives. That should be your focus. You don’t have time for a relationship with some lowlife bum with childish games. Girl, go be your greatness, and commit yourself to the power and inspiration that you are. You’re going to do great things in this world, and you need a great man beside you. Hell, you may find a prince or king while in South Africa. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15), and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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Dear Bossip: He Led Me To Believe He Was Interested & When I Told Him My 3-Month Rule He Changed
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