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Snooki & JWoww, a half-hour Jersey Shore spinoff, premiered on MTV last night. It was … exactly what you think it was. Snooki and JWoww just livin’ life! Of course, we already knew the main storyline coming in, given that the gals are bona fide celebrity gossip staples at this point – Snook’s preggers. Still, not everything about the show, in which the Shore stars move into a Jersey City, N.J., apartment, was telegraphed. Some of it was even funny. Let’s break it down, THG +/- style! JWoww, on prepping to put her partying ways behind her and settle down: “I’m ’bout to hit 30 in a coupla years, and that’s it.” Girl, you’re 26. Minus 9 . The scene in which Snooki tells Jenni she’s pregnant and engaged was evidently not staged, as JWoww is SURE Nicole is kidding and it’s a joke. Plus 50 . “Instead of life throwing me a curveball, it threw me a spermball … obviously.” – Snooki . Clearly written for her by MTV, but still, nice one! Plus 8 . “Jionni proposed and I’m engaged,” Nicole Polizzi insists. “I swear!” “No, you’re not,” Jenni Farley says. “You would’ve told me!!” She just did! Minus 1 . “Like, who lives in a firehouse?” says Snooki, re: their new digs. Firemen, or reality stars basically. Either way, looks like a pretty cool place, so Plus 5 . JWoww isn’t sad about Snooki about being pregnant, just about being late for their apartment hunting and leaving her sitting on a stoop alone. Minus 5 . Plus 20 for the guy ogling the pair out of a car window. Addresses the prospect of paying utilities herself, Snooki wonders why she even needs electricity, and appears not to be joking. Oye. Minus 28 . JWoww tells Roger, “I just don’t want to be, like, that girl at 45 years old, being like ‘Damn, I wish I lived by the city with my girlfriend.'” We doubt anyone said that in reference to Jersey City specifically, but point taken. Plus 4 . “I will always be there for Jenni, no matter what,” says Snook. “She can lift my spirits at the drop of a hat,” says J. Major love-fest alert! Plus 10 . JWoww really has to go to the bathroom while they’re touring an apartment, and the place has no toilet paper. Anyone wondering why, per chance? “She has her period,” Snooki tells the broker. Minus 47 for that over-share. Farley eventually grabs the paper bag used to hold a bagel she bought for Snooki, in case anyone were curious how this would be resolved. Minus 9 . JWoww tells Snooki what she would have done had the bathroom not been functional (because that happens). “That’s disgusting,” she says of JWoww’s answer. “You’ve done worse,” Jenni notes. “Yeah, that’s true,” Snooki confesses. These two really are kinda cute together as BFFs. Plus 10 . EPISODE TOTAL: +8 .

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Snooki & JWoww Recap: When Life Throws You a Spermball