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‘Empire’ Recap: It’s Looking Like Andre Is Really Going To Die

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Source: FOX / Getty Tonight’s episode of Empire gives us a tiny bit of reprieve from the drama and the inevitable tearjerker episode that will be the season finale. Kai and Jamal are preparing to get married. This wedding is a big deal for network TV. Anyway, let’s fast forward a bit. Now, we find Cookie, Lucious, Hakeem and Dre at home spending quality time together, and Damon Crosswalks in with the painting. You know, Cookie and Lucious wedding painting. Lucious said his broker said it was nowhere to be found so he’s wondering how Damon Cross found it. But this is Damon Cross, so here we are. Jamal, completely oblivious to who Damon Cross really is, thinks he did a good thing and is so moved that he invites him to the wedding. Next, we’re at Jamal’s bachelor party. Jamal, Becky, Andre and Hakeem are having fun until Kingsley walks in. It turns out, Andre invited him because life is short and since Kingsley is the oldest now, he has to step up to the plate and take care of his brothers. That’s exactly what Andre explains to Kingsley and his other brothers, who are giving Kingsley the side eye but decide not to make a scene. Andre’s newfound peace with Kingsley is the crux of this scene. Now it’s the actual wedding day. The feds start harassing Lucious again. They bring him into custody and try to get him to flip on Damon Cross. They have evidence that Damon’s off-shore Panama money is all over Empire’s books. Plus, we all know that Lucious would like to get the tour going again, but he’s not intimidated by her so he steps out and heads to his son’s wedding. Meanwhile, Cookie is at the church preparing for the wedding. Damon Cross stops by the church talking about how he misses her, yatta yatta. She tells him to leave and he does, but then she notices that Jamal heard the entire conversation. Jamal is already nervous because he thinks Lucious isn’t coming to give him away and he’s pissed at his mom. Cookie explains that nothing happened he just supported her through Andre’s sickness. Jamal foolishly tells her to tell Lucious but we all know that’s not going to go over well so that’s that. Lucious finally shows up late, due to the feds but what’s important is, he manages to put some of his homophobia aside to give Jamal away. The ceremony is beautiful and the reception is all fun and games. Kingsley is even there and it seems like even Cookie is starting to kind of like him. Speaking of Cookie, she finds out that Terry is pregnant. Dre doesn’t know yet but Terry tells Cookie that she doesn’t want him to know right now. Then, Lucious finds Andre in a room sitting alone and this is where the bad news comes back. Andre’s cancer treatments have been going well but he’s still dying. The chemo drugs he took destroyed his heart and the damage isn’t reversible without an entirely new heart but a transplant probably won’t happen for him because he’s not stable enough. He only has a couple of weeks to live but he wants to end his own life. Lucious tells him that Lyons don’t give up and that’s not how he’s going to go out. You know how that goes. But Dre said what he said and wants to die on his terms. At this point, it looks like Dre really is going to die, which is unfortunate. This show does tend to throw us curveballs so we can still hold on to that 1% of hope because honestly if Andre dies, it would be a waste of a character arc. Plus, why does everything bad just seem to happen to him? Anyway, we’ll find out what happens next week. RELATED POSTS ‘Empire’ Recap: Lucious Tries To Make Things Right With Kingsley ‘Empire’ Recap: The Cookie Lyon Plot Twist We Didn’t See Coming

‘Empire’ Recap: It’s Looking Like Andre Is Really Going To Die

Fed-Up Future Tries To Come For Wendy Williams’ Financial Wig…But There’s One BIG Problem On Pluto

Future Calls Wendy Williams Broke But Finds Out He’s Broker Future is juggling baby mamas these days and giving them hilariously petty ultimatums via social media , which is, of course, sending tongues wagging. One such tongue, unsurprisingly, belongs to Wendy Williams. The notorious tea-spiller sounded off on Future’s dealings with his stable of child-bearers earlier today. It appears that Future got an earful of what she had to say…and we think we’re safe in assuming he didn’t like what he heard too much, because next thing you know, he posts this: Thank God I’m richer than Wendy Williams. There’s only one problem…it appears that Future actually doesn’t have more money than Wendy Williams. In fact, it’s not even close. Messy social media users decided to look up the rapper’s net worth and compare it to that of the equally messy talk show host. And, well… Sheesh. Future’s $30 million compared to Wendy’s $60 million. As you can see, Future called the figures a lie and tried to Plutosplain them away at the same damn time. So…something isn’t adding up quite correctly. Well, no wonder Wendy runs her mouth on every issue out there so much! It apparently pays VERY handsomely…even more than trap rapping and knocking up everyone in sight. Splash/WENN/Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for Cantor Fitzgerald/Prince Williams/WireImage

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Fed-Up Future Tries To Come For Wendy Williams’ Financial Wig…But There’s One BIG Problem On Pluto

Snooki & JWoww Recap: When Life Throws You a Spermball

Snooki & JWoww, a half-hour Jersey Shore spinoff, premiered on MTV last night. It was … exactly what you think it was. Snooki and JWoww just livin’ life! Of course, we already knew the main storyline coming in, given that the gals are bona fide celebrity gossip staples at this point – Snook’s preggers. Still, not everything about the show, in which the Shore stars move into a Jersey City, N.J., apartment, was telegraphed. Some of it was even funny. Let’s break it down, THG +/- style! JWoww, on prepping to put her partying ways behind her and settle down: “I’m ’bout to hit 30 in a coupla years, and that’s it.” Girl, you’re 26. Minus 9 . The scene in which Snooki tells Jenni she’s pregnant and engaged was evidently not staged, as JWoww is SURE Nicole is kidding and it’s a joke. Plus 50 . “Instead of life throwing me a curveball, it threw me a spermball … obviously.” – Snooki . Clearly written for her by MTV, but still, nice one! Plus 8 . “Jionni proposed and I’m engaged,” Nicole Polizzi insists. “I swear!” “No, you’re not,” Jenni Farley says. “You would’ve told me!!” She just did! Minus 1 . “Like, who lives in a firehouse?” says Snooki, re: their new digs. Firemen, or reality stars basically. Either way, looks like a pretty cool place, so Plus 5 . JWoww isn’t sad about Snooki about being pregnant, just about being late for their apartment hunting and leaving her sitting on a stoop alone. Minus 5 . Plus 20 for the guy ogling the pair out of a car window. Addresses the prospect of paying utilities herself, Snooki wonders why she even needs electricity, and appears not to be joking. Oye. Minus 28 . JWoww tells Roger, “I just don’t want to be, like, that girl at 45 years old, being like ‘Damn, I wish I lived by the city with my girlfriend.'” We doubt anyone said that in reference to Jersey City specifically, but point taken. Plus 4 . “I will always be there for Jenni, no matter what,” says Snook. “She can lift my spirits at the drop of a hat,” says J. Major love-fest alert! Plus 10 . JWoww really has to go to the bathroom while they’re touring an apartment, and the place has no toilet paper. Anyone wondering why, per chance? “She has her period,” Snooki tells the broker. Minus 47 for that over-share. Farley eventually grabs the paper bag used to hold a bagel she bought for Snooki, in case anyone were curious how this would be resolved. Minus 9 . JWoww tells Snooki what she would have done had the bathroom not been functional (because that happens). “That’s disgusting,” she says of JWoww’s answer. “You’ve done worse,” Jenni notes. “Yeah, that’s true,” Snooki confesses. These two really are kinda cute together as BFFs. Plus 10 . EPISODE TOTAL: +8 .

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Snooki & JWoww Recap: When Life Throws You a Spermball

Agents Try, Fail to Sell Lil Wayne’s Condo

The Florida housing market is bad enough. We don’t envy anyone trying to sell a place there – especially the Miami real estate agents with Lil Wayne’s listing

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Agents Try, Fail to Sell Lil Wayne’s Condo