Dear Bossip , My husband I have been together for 24 years and married for 18 years. I am 40 years old and we have two daughters, 9 years and 14 years old. We both work independent jobs. I, for some reason, and for the last couple of years, have been taking care of all the bills with my income. If I don’t take care of the bill doesn’t get paid. It is so hard on me because trying to make ends meet is so hard with the bills, and, school activities that need to be paid for also. I pay so much in late fees because some are not on time because I have to choose what needs to be paid on time and that I can take care of now. Every week my husband gets paid and never offers or says what can I do to help with the bills. I mostly have to bring up the money. I will usually say “Can you give me some money this week?” And, his response is mostly “What for?” Or, he says he has things he needs like gas. He gets defensive and if I proceed to say it’s for bills then he gets angry and goes to get his money and throws it at me. I most of the time give it back because I would rather keep the peace. It would be nice if he would know that I take care of everything and if he could just help each week without me asking. I don’t ask most of the time because he makes me feel so bad about it. I had to wait on the house payment this month because I had to pay to put struts and brakes on his truck this last weekend and that was $850. I feel so alone because I have a high demand job that keeps me so busy and to be the only one who truly only cares about keeping the roof over our head and bills paid. My kids and the good Lord are my strength. I have tried to talk about this situation so many times, but he just gets angry and walks away and shuts the bedroom behind him. We get along as long as I don’t ask him for anything. I have been thinking about leaving him even to the point of looking for another place to live. I love my children and they are my everything and I never want them to think this situation is okay. I know their dad loves them, but he is not my partner in helping us financially. It hurts so much. I have even gotten to the point of not being attracted to him anymore. I have been sleeping on the couch for the last 9 months. I do love my husband. Please give me your advice. I’m so tired of walking on eggshells and worrying about this. I am a strong woman I just want to make the best decision for my family. – My Stingy Husband Dear Ms. My Stingy Husband , The number one leading cause of marriages ending in divorce is because of money problems. Couples who fight, argue, and avoid their money problems eventually end up in divorce. See, money leads to every other issue in your marriage, and relationships. It affects your intimacy, and you don’t find yourself attracted to your partner any longer. It makes you bitter, angry, mad, sad, and depressed when you think of all the things you’d like to be doing like going out to the movies, dinner, traveling, or shopping. You find yourself unable to do these things because you have no money, and your partner is not helping you. You grow to resent your partner because they see you struggling, they know the bills have to be paid, they know the rent is due, and unexpected things arise, but, yet, because money is tight, and they want theirs, and they want you to spend yours, it creates this rift between you. This invisible line becomes drawn, and here are you sleeping on the couch, not attracted to your husband, mad, and walking on eggshells because he won’t help you financially. However, he is your husband, and he should be taking care of you and his children making sure you don’t get to the point where you are robbing Peter to pay Paul. He’s stingy, trifling, and a bum. What man will sit up in his own house and watch his own wife struggle just to pay the bills, and he knows he should be helping her? Is that the reason he runs into the bedroom and shuts the door behind because he is a child who can’t face the fact he can’t take care of his own family? What grown a** man runs into the bedroom and slams the door behind them because his wife asks him for money? HUH??? Girl, bye! His a** is the one who needs to be sleeping on the damn sofa. But, let’s take a step back and look at this overall picture. You are the fixer in the relationship. You’re the one that when things get bad, when your back is against the wall, and the bills need to be paid, you will fix the problem, work it out, and then move on to the next task of trying to figure out how to pay the next bill. You become superwoman. Doing everything to keep the household together, and making sure the kids have what they need, they are fed, and you have lights, gas, and water because these are essential to basic living. However, your husband is the avoider, and the stingy mizer. He feels if he avoids the problem that it will magically disappear, that all the bills will somehow stop coming, and you won’t ask him for money. Sorry, but, the bills will never stop coming. And, as the stingy mizer he wants to hold on to his little money, and when you go to him and tell you him need something he has the nerve to question you, and then get mad and throws it at you. Well, isn’t that childish and immature. Isn’t that silly? The next time he throws money at you take it and pay the bill, then throw his a** out! He’s your husband, and he has two children, yet, he gets an attitude because you ask him to contribute to his household where he utilizes the water, lights, gas, and food. The same place he wants to call home, but he won’t give you money to pay the mortgage/rent, or help with the bills. Does he think those things are free? The hell is wrong with his a**!! Question: What does he do with his money? If he is not spending it on you, or the household, then where does his money go? He couldn’t even afford to put struts and brakes on his own car. Or, he just wanted you to spend all your money while he stuffs his little coin purse, and save his money. But, why? You need to ask him why he feels the need to get angry when you ask him for money? Ask him if he notices you struggling, and juggling to pay the bills. Ask him how does he think the bills are getting paid, food on the table, and the roof over your heads. Ask him!! Therefore, you have two options: 1.) Get into marriage counseling, and financial counseling about your money issues. Talk it out with someone who can help you both address these issues around money, which is leading to your non-existent sex life, and why you are thinking of moving out and leaving him. Money is the underlying issue to everything happening in your marriage. Address it before it festers. 2.) You get a divorce and leave him. Why spend all your money and he lays up and does nothing to help? What type of man will put all this pressure and stress on his wife and kids, and then get upset and angry when you ask him for assistance? You shouldn’t have to ask your own husband to help with the bills, he should come to you with his check, and his money telling you to take care of whatever you need. So, you make the choice before you look up and it’s another 5, 10, 15 years and your still struggling, broke, unhappy, miserable, and sleeping in your car. No ma’am. You come first, and then your kids. Make sure you and your kids are happy. If he is not contributing to your household, making sure you’re okay, happy, satisfied, and peaceful, then, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s selfish, immature, silly, and deserves to be by himself. The hell you look like struggling in your own damn house and you got a grown a** man living there watching from the sideline. No ma’am. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Dear Bossip , I’ve been reading your blog for years. It has inspired me through a lot of tough times. So, I could really use some of your hard hitting advice right now. I’ve been with the same man for 7 years and ‘’m ready to leave. “Eric” and I got together when we were very young. I was 17 and he was 19. We have a 5 year old that will start school in the fall. We share a home and a great group of friends. In the fall of 2010, I found out Eric had slept with another woman. I was heartbroken. So, I confronted him. Then, I packed up his stuff and put it in the closet. He was no longer allowed to share a bedroom or sleep in our bed with me. At the time I thought this was the right thing to do. Taking him back and working it on our relationship was out of the question at the time because I was so angry with him. Four months later, he moves out. Sometime after that we decide to work it out. He moves back in and everything seems back to normal, except we fought more often than before. Eric seemed depressed. He was very unhappy with life always explaining it was not me but what he did to destroy our relationship. Then, one day after work he comes home in tears, with no explanation. Very unlike him. This happen again some weeks later. He told me his Uncle died, and he is going down there to help out his Aunt. I offer to go with him, and he tells me no. After he left, I started getting blocked calls from him. Very unlike him. Something just told me to start snooping around. So, I Google his name. Up pops a baby registry. I was shocked and heartbroken. So, I do a background check on the name of his new baby momma. I get her number, address, and everything about her. So, I call her. I ask for him by name. She asks me who is this? I say “Sara, I’m his fiancé!” CLICK. She hangs up on me. Eric calls me and tells me he has a one month old son. He never told me because he didn’t want to hurt me and he was unsure if he was the father. Isn’t that some BS!?! Just a cop-out. I was livid. I told him I was done. That we were over. He could stay there with her because I already took off his ring. I will never forget how much my heart hurt during those times. I cried every night. Without my little angel I would have never pulled it threw. So, I got myself up, changed my number and e-mail because Eric had been calling and e-mailing non-stop. I also moved out of our home. Everything was in his name. I felt no problem walking away. At that point in my life I had never had a job or even graduate from high-school. I supported Eric through college and in his career. So, when I walked away I had nothing. I got my first job, passed my G.E.D. on my first try and had enrolled in classes at the local community college. Very soon I was out of my now deceased mother’s house and in a little apartment my baby girl could call home. I was very proud of myself. I had not seen Eric for 3 months at this point. I refused to. He would e-mail my old address every night asking to see us. Finally, I gave in and agreed to meet him at a local park so he could see our daughter. First, I made him have a private conversation at our old house. Eric tried to tell me that was he not sure if the child was his after his baby mama had told him she was pregnant because she was in a relationship when they hooked up. He went down there to take a paternity test and it turned out it was his. He wanted nothing to do with his baby mama and he still loves me very much. I returned his ring. The next day, I let him visit with our daughter. She was so happy to see her father. I felt like a fool for keeping them apart for so long, because no matter what he does to me or himself he will always be our little girl’s father. The next six months are like this, I don’t go back to him. We talk and see each other for our baby. One day, out of the blue, I get a message from his baby mama. She writes, whether her and Eric are together or not she will always be a part of his life because they share a child together. She said that our children are siblings and they should know each other. So, I ignored it. She e-mails again asking for his social security number, his address and any other information to tell child support. I ignore her. I also don’t tell Eric. Since he had the nerve to tell me what goes on between them is none of my business. So, he was pissed when he got the papers, but, oh well. He chose to make a baby with a 28-year old woman, who still lives at home, has no job, and collects welfare. A year later, I fell on hard times. I had lost my job and soon my little apartment that I loved so much. I had no family to turn to. So, I went back to the house I shared with Eric because he offered. He gave me our old bedroom while he slept on the couch. It was weird at first. He was depressed. He would barely talk to me, except to tell me how happy he was to see my face every morning, again. He started to cheer up, began to flirt with me, and bring me presents. Soon, we started kissing, sharing a bed together, doing everything a couple does. I tried to have sex with him several times, but he would not do it. I hadn’t had sex in 2 and a half years. I wanted him again. He is the only man I’ve been with. So, I asked him why and he tells me he contracted herpes after he had a one night stand with a woman he met at conference six months ago. Two weeks later we have sex with condoms. He was shaking the entire time, but I still ended up getting it some months later. I took it okay, I knew the risk I was taking but every time I try to talk to him about it or when I told him I had it he just blames himself. He won’t even talk to me about it because he’s so busy putting himself down and what he did. I told him I wanted to get married again. He avoids the conversation. Now, the real problem is his baby mama. She lives 500 miles away. She told Eric he is required to go down there to see her son once a month. I assumed he had done something like that before we got back together. He goes every 3 to 4 months because it’s impossible for him to go every month and not lose his job. Also, she wants $400 in cash every month. If he agreed to all of this she would stop the child support payments from be removing from his check. So, he did it, but there is still an open case with the court and even though it’s no longer removed from his check he still has to pay child support. I tried telling him not to send her cash, it’s not a good idea, but he does it anyway. He tells me it’s not my business. Since I’ve moved back in he has taken one trip to see his son. I was worried the entire time. She knows we’re together again. Soon after he came back I went through his messages, and he was sending her messages saying he couldn’t wait to see her and she was sending him selfies and telling him how she needs him to be her man. I confronted him. And, he gets mad at me for going through his phone. We work it out, but I tell him no more trips or I’m leaving him. Five months go by and his baby mama is calling and texting more than ever. Three weeks ago he tells me he will be leaving to go see his son for the weekend soon. That he will be sleeping on the couch at her parent’s house. He says it’s just for him to see his son, but I find it hard to believe. We fought almost every day until he left. He never called me when he made it off of the plane, like he said he would. I texted him to call me around 6pm. He texted me saying that he can’t because he is at a wedding. I’m pissed. So, I call and text him saying that he went out there to take her to the wedding and how is he there for his son? He ignores me. The morning he is supposed to come home, he doesn’t. I call him over and over again. No answer. So I call and text her. I tell her she is pathetic for using her son to see my man. He finally calls me and before he says hello I hear him tell her, “I’m going to beat her a** and kick her out of my house!” I tell him off. He tells me he was just mad and didn’t mean it, and that I just caused a lot of problems between them and how I don’t care about his son. He said he no longer texts or talks to her like that, and that he is just here for his son. Whom I’ve never met, because the only time she lets him see him is at her parent’s house. Eric still has not come home. He is still with her. He refuses to answer my calls, so I stopped trying. I feel like he is asking too much of me by expecting me to trust him with a person he cheated on me with, then punishing me when I can’t. And, now I believe more than ever he is with her, because you don’t tell anyone you will beat your girl for them. He doesn’t consider seeing his son cheating. No matter what he says I know deep down inside he is cheating. I do care if his son has a father, but he has never made an effort to see him without her. He would go to court if this was just about seeing his son. So, that really shows what he cares about. I feel so stupid right now for coming back to him, and letting him give me herpes, but I would be on the street right now if I didn’t. I just want out. I have no money, no one I can stay with, and no job. What should I do? I really need help coming up with a plan. – Still His Stupid Girlfriend Dear Ms. Still His Stupid Girlfriend , O_O I really had to take time to digest this letter, and sit with it. Honey, I made some tea, then some more tea, and then some more tea. Girl, this is just a hot a** mess, and should be a Lifetime movie. The layers of this letter is deep. I simply cannot believe that you intentionally slept with him knowing he had herpes, and then contracted it, and, you still stayed with him. Gulps tea. And, he was supposed to come home, however, he is still in another state with his baby momma, and refuses to accept your calls. WOW! WOW! WOW! Gulps tea. I truly believe that the wedding he was attending was his own. Yes, sweetie, he went down there and married that woman, and now he has to figure out a way to either a.) Tell you and get you out of his house. Or, b.) He continues to play the both of you and he travels back and forth lying to you telling you that he is going to see his son, when in actuality he is going to see his wife. It hurts my heart that you were able to get away from him once before, get your G.E.D., start community college, and you had your own apartment. I’m so sorry that you fell on hard times, and lost your place, but the last and I mean the last place you should have considered going to was back to him. Why go back to all of that drama and mess he put you through? He cheated on you, and lied about it. Hell, not only once, but a number of times he’s cheated on you. The first time he cheated should have been enough. And, after you put him out of the bedroom, and he then moved out four months later, that should have been it. But, you took him back, and then when his uncle died (which I don’t believe), he tells you he doesn’t want you coming with him, and, yet, you find out he got another woman pregnant. He wasn’t going to tell you, you had to dig and find out this information. So, had you not snooped and found this information he would have never told you. Think about it, the entire time she was pregnant, then conceived, and when the child was a month old, he still had not told you. HE WAS NEVER GOING TO TELL YOU! SMDH! But, let’s address the serious matter that he is a hoe. He sleeps around, and has casual sex with women without using any protection. He cheated on you twice that you know of, and the second woman ended up pregnant. Then, when you and he get back together after some time, you learn that he contracted herpes because of some fling he had at a conference. Uhm, ma’am, he is a hoe. And, you should have used common sense to know that he is not to be trusted, or someone whom you should lay with and give yourself to. I don’t care if he was your first, your only, and your last, no d**k, especially tainted d**k is worth risking your life over. Let the d**k go! Look at all the lies he’s told you, then he covers them up and doesn’t tell you. You have to snoop, dig, and pry in order to get the truth out of him, and even then he continues to lie to you. He uses the other woman and his son as a scapegoat, when in reality that is where he wants to be. It’s obvious that he is stringing you and her along because he doesn’t want to pay child support and have the money taken out of his pay check. Therefore, he keeps telling you he loves you, and wants to be with you, and he is telling her the same thing. Even to the point where she has petitioned to have him taken him off child support, and he pays her and agrees to travel once a month or every few months to go see his son. He’s gangsta! He’s a hustler. He’s a con man. He’s a lying piece of –ish, and he’s trapped you and her into his web of lies and game. And, on top of it, he gave you an STD, which I truly don’t understand why you would knowingly sleep with him and put yourself at risk when he has demonstrated and shown you that he doesn’t care about himself, or you. A man who can have casual sex, and not use any protection, is not someone you should ever trust yourself to lay with or be with. If he doesn’t take his own life and health seriously, then he will never ever take your life or health serious as well. So, now that your man has gone and married another woman (I believe that in my heart), and he refuses to answer your calls or texts, then it’s time to put a plan into place. You find a shelter, a good friend, or call human services and ask for resources for women who have no place to go and need assistance. Get on public assistance if you have to. You’re going to have to stop being a victim, and start over again. You’ve done it before, and you can do it again. Stop relying on him. He is unreliable. He is a liar. He is deceptive, and he doesn’t respect or love you. Stop thinking you need him, and stop making the excuse for him that he should be there for his daughter. Clearly he doesn’t want to be there, otherwise, he would man up and do what he needs to and be present in her life. He’s told you to stay out of his business, and stop interfering with him and his baby momma. You are not his wife. You are the side chick living in his house. Which is why he told her that he is going to beat your a** and put you out of his house. You have not stake, no claim, no nothing to him or that house. Get out of this relationship before he destroys more of you. Go to a shelter if you have to, let go of the pride and ego and work on saving you and your daughter. Make sure you find a doctor to get treatment for your herpes, and begin a regimen for medication. You have to take care of you and your daughter. Stop calling him and texting him. He doesn’t want to be bothered. He doesn’t want to talk to you. Stop trying to make this relationship work when it is clearly over. Stop calling the other woman and threatening her, she is caught up in his lies and bull-ish just like you are. Who knows what he is telling her about you, and what lies he’s telling her. Besides, you notice that she doesn’t call you. Therefore, stop calling her. You’ve got to think of your own well-being and that of your daughter. Stop obsessing over a man who doesn’t give a damn about you. Rebuild your life, your self-esteem and self-worth. It’s time to invest all that energy into you and your daughter. Invest in your education, get your degree and begin working again. Find a job, somebody is hiring. Find a church or spiritual center to rebuild and nourish your spirit, and soul. Build friendships, supporters, and reinforcements that encourage you. LET HIM GO! He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t love you. Leave today. Not tomorrow, but today. Make the calls and start planning. Honey, you are better than me, because I would pack all my stuff and leave. And, when I left, I would leave the doors wide open. BOOM! BAM! POW! – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Dear Bossip , I’ve been with my boyfriend, on and off, all through high school. We’re both under 20 years of age and have an apartment together. I guess everything is fading because every other week or month he’s been asking me would I like to go back home, like I just can. I moved away from my family, but me and my family aren’t that close anyway. And, I’ve been getting frustrated with him about that, but lately he told me he’s not physically nor sexually attracted to me anymore. Quiet honestly, I’m not attracted to myself; I’m not saying this because I feel bad or anything. I know I’m not looking my best, but how can I when I’m young and pay bills? I can’t even by myself a new hair bow. I need a makeover, or sweepstakes. But, it’s not that easy because the apartment and bills are in my name and we have a savings account together. He’s controlling, and I’m tired of that, too. It’s always he can say and do whatever, but I can’t and he’s overly insecure. If you seen him you wouldn’t think that because he’s very good looking. I don’t know. I really need some advice. It’s not easy not having anyone to talk to. I’ve also felt that I was pulling away from him because my interest has been on girls lately. But, also, because I feel like I’m too good to keep putting up with this after all I’ve done and continue to do. Is our high school romance over? Please let me know. – Ms. Trying To Get Me Good Dear Ms. Trying To Get Me Good , Yes, the high school romance is over. You are no longer lovebirds living under the protection and roofs of your parents, sneaking out with each other on the weekdays and week nights to meet up and talk about your dreams and fantasies. You are no longer in high school, meeting at your locker in between classes, kissing and feeling one another up, and making plans to skip school. Nope. Those days are long gone. You both decided you wanted to be adults, and play grown-ups, and move out on your own and live in your high school sweetheart bliss. Welp, you did and it’s not so pretty is it? Life is hard, and it’s tough. Life is full of paying bills, going to work, and being responsible adults. It’s not about laying up and laying around your loved one all day, and not having a worry in a world. It’s about taking care of yourselves, feeding yourselves, and struggling to keep the lights on, the water, paying car notes, your phones, and traveling back and forth to work. Welcome to adulthood. Welcome to being independent and living on your own. Now, because –ish has hit the fan, and the reality has set in for him, he is ready to bail out and call it quits. He’s ready to run home and go back to the safety net he once had. He’s figured out that life is not kind. It’s not hanging out in the streets and not worrying if food will be on the table and in the fridge when he comes home. He has to work. Be a man. And, take care of his responsibilities. And, you have become part of his responsibility. No longer is it just about him, or just about you. It’s the two of you in this together. So, now what do you do? Do you give up and run back home? Unfortunately, you say you can’t go home because you’re not close with your family. What will you do, or what can you do? Well, it will suck if he just up and leaves you and returns home. That is why he keeps asking you if you would like to go back home. The reality is that he wants to go back and home. And, because you can’t he is frustrated. He is angry. And, you are part of his frustration and anger. And, this puts a strain on your relationship and his feelings for you where he no longer finds you attractive physically or sexually. He wants out and feels obligated to stay. SMH! You have options. And, you need to strongly consider them. The first is let him go home. Let him leave, and end this relationship. He is not about this life, and you can’t afford to take care of him emotionally or mentally, nor be in this unhealthy relationship where he resents you. Why be with someone who doesn’t find you physically or sexually attractive? Why be with someone who resents you, and wants to control you? It’s not worth your sanity, health, and well-being. Let him go, wish him well, and figure out how you can either stay in this apartment by yourself, or you find a smaller studio apartment that you can afford. It’s time to look out for you! The next option is that you both return home to your parent’s homes. Yes, that means you will have to learn how to work on your relationship with your parent/s, and resolve the matter as an adult. No more arguing, no more talking back, and no more bucking their rules. I know it’s hard being a young adult living with your parent/s, and you think you know it all. Well, apparently that hasn’t worked out for you because look at your situation. At some point, you have to grow up, and start to take responsibility for your part and what you contribute to the dissention in the relationship. Sit down, talk, and work it out. Whatever is going on at home, you can talk about it. Learn to listen, and learn how to better communicate with one another. Being at home will allow you the opportunity to continue working, save some money, and you can give yourself 6 months to a year to earn enough money to move into another smaller and more affordable apartment alone. Yes, alone. The relationship with your boyfriend is over. It’s time to focus on you, building you, and taking care of yourself. And, also get back into school. Having an education, and empowering yourself will pay off in the long run so you won’t end up in this same rut. The final option is that you and your boyfriend can reassess your situation, get into couple’s counseling, and find an apartment that is more affordable to your income. There are some issues and challenges you both face and need to address. You have problems at home, and with your family that you bringing into this relationship. He resents you, and is unhappy in this situation, and has emotionally, mentally, and physically shut down from you. You see the layers that is being created simply because neither of you are not ready for the types of responsibilities you’re taking on, and you’re both under 20 years of age? You’re also complicating matters with your sexuality, and questioning whether you want to be with girls. You don’t find yourself pretty or attractive. You give all your power over to him, and you allow him to dictate to you what you can and cannot do. If you remain in this relationship, and in this situation it will only get worse. He will become verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and then physically abusive. And, you will stay because you feel you have no place to go, nowhere to turn, and no one to talk to. You have the power to change this situation, and this circumstance. Think of you. Think of what you desire and what you want out of life. If it means ending it with him, then end it. If it means you struggle on your own without him, then it’s better to struggle alone than with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. The worst thing you can do is try to make someone stay with you who doesn’t want to be with you, or force something that is no longer working. If he wants to leave, then let him leave. Hell, help him pack, and wish him well. He is doing you a favor. And, I’m sure there are some programs, centers, and groups that can assist you in finding an apartment, a better job, and getting into college, either community college, or a trade school. Find a spiritual foundation, church, or center where you can go and talk to someone, and also a place where you can get motivated and inspired. Surround yourself with positive reinforcements. You can reclaim your life, and your power, but you have to be willing to do it. So, look at your options, and welcome to the real world. Welcome to life. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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