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Dear Bossip: My Boyfriend Is Boring & We’re Moving Together, But I’m Not Sure

Posted on January 9, 2015 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I’ve been dating this guy for 3 years and it’s been pretty awesome. But, lately, I’ve been getting tired of him. He’s a really nice guy, but he’s boring. We’re thinking of moving out together within a year, but I don’t know if it’ll be a big mistake. I’m the adventurous type and he’s not willing to do anything fun. And, if we go anywhere (like to the zoo, movies, any adventure, etc.) he’ll complain about how bored he is, and say were blowing all our money away. It’s not even expensive things either, they’re actually pretty cheap. He hates when I hang out with someone else, especially if he’s just home alone. I just feel like if I do break up with him…I won’t find anyone else. Also, the love/spark/passion isn’t there for me. I just feel like it’s good enough. Should I go to a relationship counselor also? He also has jealousy problems and road rage. I don’t know if that helps at all. – Bored Of Him Dear Ms. Bored Of Him , Let me ask this? Is it that he’s always been a boring Debbie Downer who doesn’t like doing things, and has always complained about your dating adventures? I mean, you probably overlooked his negative comments and statements, and just blew them off. You figured he’d change or eventually find some activity fun and engaging. Or, is it that you’ve grown tired of his complaining and negativity, and have opened your eyes and realize that he is not going to change. This is the way he is and you’re simply over him? Honey, relationships run their course. Sometimes people grow apart, and people outgrow each other. You know the saying – “People come into your life for a reason, season, and lifetime.” Is the season over? Has this relationship run its course? Or, more importantly, have you stopped making excuses for his behavior, his negativity, and his jealousy, and you have realized that he is not the man you thought or hoped he would be? And, that is exactly what it sounds like. It sounds like you’ve woken out of your slumber of, “I can’t change him,” and you have reflected over your relationship and began to notice a pattern. He’s boring. He doesn’t enjoy the outings with you. He gets jealous when you leave and you do things without him. And, he has road rage. So, when you began your letter stating your relationship has been awesome, well, sweetie, I was looking for all the awesome parts of it. You went straight for the jugular and mentioned all the things you don’t like. So, does the things you don’t like outweigh the good? I’m concerned that you’re considering moving out with him, and you didn’t talk about being engaged, or plans to marry. You are ready to shack up with someone you feel is “good enough,” and the passion/spark/love isn’t there for you. Girl, does that make any damn sense at all! You are going to hold on to a man you don’t have any passion for, no sparks, and no love, but, because he’s a man and he’s there and it’s been 3 years you’re going to move in with him and hope things change? Next, he’s jealous and has road rage. He has anger issues, and he’s controlling. Call it out, girl! Now, does his road rage frighten you and do you feel endangered when you’re with him? Do you fear he will get into a confrontation and something dangerous will happen? If road rage has a grip on him, and the fact you’ve brought it up, then I am sure you’re thinking or have thought what if it gets out of control and it is directed toward you. Jealousy. This has been ongoing in your relationship. I’m sure you’ve had many arguments, and disagreements due to his jealousy. You’ve put up with it for 3 years. Now, are you willing to continue to put up with it, or are you going to continue to dismiss it? Yes, you can go to a counselor, and discuss your relationship, but the issues are with him. He’s needs to be in therapy. He’s dealing with anger, jealousy, and control. You’re enabling him by allowing him to do it, and you haven’t checked him on it. He only does what he does because you let him. You should have checked all of this early on. Now, it is out of hand, and you’re having second thoughts about where this relationship is going and where it will end up. But, consider these: Why is he jealous when he doesn’t want to go out or do anything? Is he jealous of your friends? Is he jealous another man will take you away from him? Do you think he wants to control you? Has he tried to control you and the relationship? How would you assess his anger, and is it only road rage? Look, if everything you recommend to do as an outing is so boring and money wasting, then ask him to recommend something he would enjoy doing, or ask him to pick something for the two of you to do. Make him responsible for the outing, and the decision making, and then if he complains you will have your answer. If he doesn’t enjoy the event, or activity he’s chosen, then you can’t make him happy, please him, nor can anything else. He’s just boring. Get out of the relationship. Nothing is going to change. He will not become the man you want him to be. He will not grow, mature, or all of a sudden become exciting. You will be miserable, unhappy, and eventually you will start cheating. If the passion, spark, and love is not there, and it’s been 3 years, I’m sorry, this relationship is doomed. End it, and move on with your life. Why spend another 3 months, or 3 years with someone whom is only ‘okay.’ You are passing the time with him. And, it’s not fair to either of you. Stop being so desperate to hold on to a man just so you can say you have a man. There are plenty of men who are adventurous, fun, outgoing, and enjoyable to be around. Your man is not that man. I don’t recommend moving in together. It will be a huge mistake, and I do know that once you move in together his jealousy will increase, and eventually he will start trying to control you. Save yourself from this potential headache and stress. – Terrance Dean Photo source: Shuttershock Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean:  loveandrelationships@bossip.com  Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter:   @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop  (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click  HERE!    

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Dear Bossip: My Boyfriend Is Boring & We’re Moving Together, But I’m Not Sure

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Dear Bossip: We Met Once 4 Years Ago, But I Can’t Seem To Let Him Go

Posted on November 18, 2014 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I’ve known my friend for 4 years now. This past March he said that out of respect of his girlfriend he doesn’t talk to other females a lot. I have a lot of feelings for him ever since the day I met him. I met him on a trip back in 2010. He lived in Detroit and I was in Arizona. We always stayed in touch through calls. I only met him that one time on that trip and saw him another time while speaking with him thru Skype. We’ve never dated. He’s told me throughout our friendship of the chicks he’s been with and had sex with. Being that we never dated, I tried to not let it get to me because we never were together. Until, we talked about some day being together. He said that I was the only female that he’s ever thought of marrying. He’s told me not to wait for him, but then he said he wanted me to. I told him that’s not fair and you can’t do that. He’s told me that he knows that. When I met him he was 24 years old, and I was 30 years old. I think a lot of him has a lot of growing up to do, or if it’s me making an excuse for him. I’ve always listened when he told me of his failed relationships.  I’m not sure with him dating now if it’s going to be another failed one. In the past, every time when we haven’t spoken in a while he would ask if I’m dating. I know he was asking to see if I was still available and checking my dating status. In a way, I’m kind of waiting for him, but I know if someone else comes available I would move on with that person, but I just haven’t found that one yet. So, in the meantime I’m still thinking about this dude. I miss him so much. I care about him so much, and, I think about him all the time. I care enough about him to let him go. In the meantime, I have been doing my own thing, changing me, and exercising. I’ve moved to ATL. I’m working and doing what I need to do. I don’t know if I will ever hear from him again. I don’t text, or call.  I’ve deleted his number. I’m on the verge of changing my number and to never hear from him again, but it’s hard just getting rid of someone you took the time to know, and I’ve made the investment in trying to know that person. I don’t want to lose him, but then I don’t want to keep falling in the same thing where we start talking again as friends and then he tells me he can’t talk to me because out of respect of dating again. I don’t have time for that. My feelings are already involved, so I don’t want it to keep getting deeper and deeper. – Holding On Dear Ms. Holding On , Did I miss something? How can you miss something you’ve never had? (Sips tea) You met him once. He lives in another state. You’ve only communicated once on SKYPE. You keep in touch via text messages and phone calls. You’ve never dated, yet, he tells you about all the women he’s been with, and how he’s living his life. However, you’re holding on to feelings and emotions for this guy because….????? I’m confused. You are now a 34 year old woman who met a man once in 2010, yet, you think and feel there is something there between you and he, but you haven’t seen him again in four years!!?!!  What the hell is he filling your head with? You didn’t even touch or see the d**k, and, yet, you’re already hooked. Damn! And, this is where I don’t understand your logic – He’s told you that he can’t and won’t talk to you out of respect for his girlfriend, which have been many, and you’re waiting on him for what reason again? But, hold on, he does this every time he’s in a relationship!?! What are you waiting on him for? He’s not interested in being with you. He’s not interested in you being his girlfriend. And, that line with him saying that you’re the one woman he would marry is some bull-ish! If he wanted you then he would be with you. He would move, transition, and be right there with you. Any man who wants to be with woman will make the provisions to be with her despite the space, or time. He wouldn’t string you along for four years playing with your heart and emotions making you believe something that will never manifest. But, it’s really your fault. Your desperation is sad and pathetic. You seriously have this imaginary relationship going on with him that you have created, and continue to maintain. You have a false sense of reality, and have concocted this fantasy relationship with someone you’ve only seen once. You’ve decided to invest in someone whom you only talk with via text message and random calls here and there. No woman in her right mind would continue or even fathom the idea of maintaining a relationship with someone they met once, and who lived across the damn country! You live in your head and not in the real world. Ma’am, get out of your head! Not once in the four years of knowing him, which you barely know him, and in talking with him on the phone has he stated that he would make the trip to visit you. Not once did he offer to send for you, the woman he said he would marry. Instead, he’s told you that he can’t engage or communicate with you because he’s with someone else. He’s told you that you shouldn’t wait for him. He’s basically telling you that you are a damn fool to be waiting on him and should not waste any energy trying to have something with him because it is not going to happen. So, since you’ve already deleted his number, and you haven’t heard from him since March, then go ahead and change your number. I can guarantee you that you will not hear from him. He is not going to call you. He is not thinking of you. He is not interested in you. Keep doing you, and live your life. Move on. Maintain your exercise regime and make the best of living in a new city. There are plenty of available, attractive, smart, intelligent, and career-minded men in your area. It’s been four years of holding on to nothing that manifested. It’s time for you to have some fun, enjoy yourself, and date. Make friends, go out, and live your life. You’ve started a new journey, now make it complete by deleting him out of it, so that new doors of opportunities can pour in. – Terrance Dean Photo source: Shutterstock Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean:  loveandrelationships@bossip.com  Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter:   @ terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop  (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!        

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Dear Bossip: We Met Once 4 Years Ago, But I Can’t Seem To Let Him Go

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Dear Bossip: I Reconnected With An Ex & Had His Child, But When It Was Time To Step Up, He Stepped Out

Posted on August 13, 2014 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I am having a few issues. I was with my ex for 8 years off and on. We started dating at 15, and fell in puppy love. This was something so new to both of us we just enjoyed the feeling of being around each other. Things changed and he started being sneaky and I quickly found out. He was the quarterback, so he had an ego that he was “the –ish.” He fell victim to girls wanting him. There were a few incidents like me seeing contacts and receiving phone calls, but I overlooked it all because I loved him. Two years after we got together we went off to college. Both were in state so, we were not too far from each other. I noticed he started to change and I even received anonymous message saying he was cheating. My grandmother died in 2009 and instead of him being there for me he hung up in my face to go see about another female friend that was supposedly in an accident. After this we were separated for about a year. I dated and we kept in touch via text or phone call from time to time. We ended up getting back together and two years later I got pregnant. He immediately changed and stopped answering my calls. It hurt so bad to be with someone for so long to do me like that. So, I went on with my life and had an abortion. He never even called to see if I kept the baby or not. He went on social media and made post referring to the unborn child and making pokes at me. So, we got into an argument on Twitter because I’m not one to let someone trash my name. He started to text my phone from a new number saying he missed me, which I didn’t discover was him until two months later. He asked me to meet up. I was looking for closure so I agreed. We met up for drinks and talked it over and he apologized. We then started dating again. A few months after getting back together I got pregnant. I discussed my goals for the baby and the future and he agreed. He quit his job and didn’t work for 3 months. Once the baby got here he started going to the casino and gambling his money away. My baby is 5 months old and he has yet to put $5 to the side. I make good money for my age, but I still stay with my mother. I thought we agreed we would find our own home, but he can’t save money. I asked him to step up or step out. Guess what he did….he stepped out! Once again running from his responsibility because he can’t be a man. I’m so tired of this bull-ish. I know how to leave when I’m not treated right, which is why I broke it off every time. I do not want to have another man raise my child, but I think that’s what’s going to happen. Can you give me advice? I’m tired of going back because I see temporary change. – Ready To Hop Off The Rollercoaster Dear Ms. Ready To Hop Off The Rollercoaster , Ma’am, hop off the rollercoaster. Simply, just hop off and stay off. He’s irresponsible, silly, and immature. He doesn’t know how to be a man, therefore, he cannot and will not be the parent you want him to be. Nor, will he be the man you need him to be in the relationship you desire. You can’t make him do something he is incapable of doing and being. You can’t make this be the relationship you desire, want, or need. He simply cannot provide you with the support, nurturing, love, or care that you or your child need. Therefore, leave. Get out. And, stop wishing and hoping for something that will never be. Why would you want to be with a man who did not support or be there for you when your grandmother died? Why would you want to be with a man who abandoned you while you were pregnant, and didn’t even call to see if you had the baby? Why would you want to be with a man who would poke fun at you and your unborn child on social media, and then trash you at the same time? He’s a boy. And, you’re wasting your time trying to turn a boy into a man. It’s not going to happen. I mean what man you know would up and quit his job after he learned his wife, or girlfriend was having a baby? What kind of sense does that make? And, he is gambling his money away at the casino?!? He’s a dumba**, and he doesn’t have his priorities in order. That is why when you asked him to step up or step out, he stepped out. He took the cowardly way out, and didn’t want to own up to his responsibilities. So, he his lame a** walked away and left you with his child to raise. Yes, you are going to have raise the child without him. So, instead of sulking and hoping he will get his –ish together, you have to make adult decisions that are in the best interest of you and your child. He does not, and is not a part of this plan. It’s time to get into action and put on your big girl panties. You put his a** on child support. He wants to walk away, then let him walk away knowing he will still have responsibilities he has to take care of. Then, you petition the court for full custody of your child. You find resources, organizations, and groups that can help build you, and get you into programs, and in finishing school. You continue to work, and take care of your child, and if you meet another man, then you take your time and date. Get to know him, and watch for any signs or patterns that are reminiscent of your ex. You don’t want to repeat bad behaviors and dating habits. You can’t continue being a volunteer victim to a man who has repeatedly shown you who he is. You have to let go of the victim mentality. You can’t be a victim when you know and keep allowing him to do all of these horrible things to you, yet, you keep taking him back. He is consistent in that he doesn’t want to be a father, a man, or your partner. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Plain and simple. He wants to hang out, party, and run the streets. Then, let him. Stop worrying about him, and stop fretting over him. You have to take care of you, and your child. You are not a victim. Be strong, and be encouraged. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean :  loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!    

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Dear Bossip: I Reconnected With An Ex & Had His Child, But When It Was Time To Step Up, He Stepped Out

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Dear Bossip: My Husband Has Continued Communicating With An Ex-Mutual “Friend” Who Solicited Him Despite My Wishes

Posted on April 21, 2014 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I’m such a HUGE fan and I need your advice and help. My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We started dating in 2002. During that time, we both had a mutual friend that was a female, and I actually considered her to be a friend. Then, 2 years into our relationship, he told me that she was sending him flirty and sexy texts and trying to get him to come to her house. Initially, he lied to me about it, but I caught him in a lie, which caused him to show me the messages. He said that he didn’t reciprocate any of those feelings back to her, but I was always skeptical.  As time progressed, she and I rarely spoke to each other due to this situation. However, her and my husband acted as if nothing happened.  He knows how I feel about him and her communicating, but he still does it. About 2 months ago, we got into a huge fight because I found out he started following her on Instagram.  Then, he had the balls to say that she didn’t do anything to me for me to dislike her, and this pissed me off so bad because I felt like he was defending her.  To me, it was so disrespectful and disgusting. I honestly thought about leaving his ass for this, but I thought about our 2 kids and how it would affect them. I want our marriage to work out so badly, but I will leave his ass with a quickness if he continues to feel like this woman isn’t an issue.  Please help me because I’m about to fire his a**! – Confused and Pissed Dear Ms. Confused and Pissed , You have every right to be angry and disgusted by your husband’s inconsiderate and nonchalant behavior. He clearly doesn’t get why you are upset that he is still communicating with a woman who has crossed the line and practically propositioned him to sleep with her. He can play dumb all he wants, but you knock some sense into his head. And, one thing you clearly have to know is that woman is not your friend, and she never was! She is trifling, and she knows it. And, your husband is just as trifling for sitting up there talking about he doesn’t see what the big deal is and dismissing your feelings and requests to stop communicating with her. He would get a big huge awakening when he came home from work and the house was empty. Now follow that on Instagram! Ma’am, I agree with you that he is dead a** wrong for continuing to keep in contact with her, and he is dead a** wrong for following her on Instagram. You explicitly made it known that you don’t appreciate what transpired between them, and he knows that you don’t want them communicating with one another, but he continues to do so. Therefore, he doesn’t respect you, and he doesn’t respect your feelings and wishes. Why not? Why is he ignoring you? What is he getting out of this? What attention is he seeking from her? He is getting a rise out of you, and he knows it, but at the cost of your marriage? Why? I bet it’s because your husband likes the attention. He enjoys the fact that another woman is interested in him. He finds it flattering because it plays into his ego and machismo. And, he probably doesn’t feel he is doing anything wrong because he said that he didn’t reciprocate any of the feelings she has for him and he didn’t respond to her texts. So, in his mind, he didn’t do anything, and doesn’t think there is no need for concern. That’s some bull-ish! If he didn’t reciprocate her feelings, or respond to the texts, then, why did he lie about it and try to cover it up when you confronted him the first time? Ole’ busted a**! I find it bizarre that he said she didn’t do anything to you for you not to like her. Oh, really? So, it’s okay and appropriate to send flirtatious text messages to a friend’s spouse? And, it’s okay to invite them over to your house, and they are doing all of this behind the friend’s back? Yeah, he is getting off on this. Ask your husband would he mind if his best friend was sending you flirty and sexy text messages? Ask your husband would he mind if his best friend invited you over to his house alone, and he didn’t tell your husband about it? There is clearly a double standard, and your husband is trying to belittle your feelings, and emotions. I’m sure he feels that because nothing happened then you’re making it more than it is. You are exacerbating this situation. But, he has to know that he is married. He has to honor you, your requests, and your feelings. He is playing a dangerous game, and if it doesn’t end then she will do more damage to your marriage than you can imagine. You put your foot down with him and get him right together! You put a stop to all of this –ish today! You sit with your husband and you explain to him why it’s inappropriate what she did, and why she did it. You explain to him that he is married and he should not be entertaining any woman, especially one that is clearly crossing the line. You explain to him how it makes you feel, what it does to you, and what it is doing to your marriage. You let him know how it hurts you that he is ignoring your requests when you have asked him to stop this behavior, and how you feel disrespected that he is not listening to you and honoring you as his wife. You then tell him he needs to cut it off with her, or else there will be consequences to pay. There will be repercussions if he does not end this childish antics, and his need to have his ego stroked, or some woman boosting his head. There are boundaries between married couples and “so-called friends.” You and he should have a conversation over boundaries, and what’s appropriate and what’s inappropriate. You have to communicate what you are not going to put up with, and how he needs to honor your requests as his wife. There is respect on both ends. There can be no dismissing of your feelings or emotions. There can be no dismissing of your requests. Your marriage is not a dictatorship, and he can do whatever he wants. There is a line, and limit. You set the tone. If he doesn’t get it together, then there will be hell and high water to pay. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean :  loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! – See more at: http://bossip.com/948516/dear-bossip-i-was-dating-a-great-guy-but-he-died-in-a-car-accident-now-my-ex-wants-to-reconnect/#sthash.4pnS8eGk.dpuf Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! – See more at: http://bossip.com/949233/dear-bossip-my-boyfriend-revealed-he-was-molested-by-a-pastor-then-i-noticed-he-had-tranny-friends-online-he-visited-gay-websites/#sthash.tVCIFbzY.dpuf    

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Dear Bossip: I’m In A Committed 9 Year Relationship, But I’m Sleeping With An Older Married Man That I Work With

Posted on April 2, 2014 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , Well, my dilemma is I am committing adultery with a married man. Hold on it gets better. Not only am I being a jezebel, but I am also in a “committed” relationship. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 8 going on 9 years now. I’m 22 years old, and my boyfriend is 24 years old. My married side piece is 39 years old. My relationship with my boyfriend obviously has not been a piece of cake. I know real love takes hard work and determination and I was under no pretense that it would be a fairytale. My boyfriend and I have very strong-minded personalities when together. So, I believe that is what attributes to the on and off part of our relationship. While I love him, there are times where I don’t want to be in his company, and I nitpick about the things he does. Sounds normal enough, right? Well, my boyfriend is a a**hole for a lack of a better word. No, he is not like an a**hole. Nor is it that he has tendencies of one. He is one completely through on through. That’s the bad side of him. Over the years I have grown immune to it because that’s a part of his personality. You might wonder why I’m attracted to him and have been in a relationship so long with such an a**hole. Well, the answer is because he is my high school sweetheart. We have grown with each other. He has gotten to see the changes in me and vise versa. I do see myself marrying him and having children and the whole house, dog, and white picket fence dream. He is the love of my life, but I’m cheating on him, with a married man, who has children, and he is 17 years my senior. And, his oldest child is 2 years younger than me. Yes, hella ratchet. My married side piece denies he is married, but he wears a band on his left finger, so I’m not naive to his lies. He claims that his “wife” bought him the ring, but he never proposed to her and he never signed a marriage license. I don’t believe it, but it’s not my problem. What troubles me is that 1). I’m 2 years older than his oldest child. I feel like that’s high on my creep radar. 2). We work together. So, I’m all about keeping it on the hush, but he keeps finding ways to show me attention. And, I believe that some people are getting suspicious. 3). So far, I have been good at hiding my infidelity from my boyfriend, but I’m afraid of what will happen when I decided to end this messy side romance. My side piece knows where I live. And, he does give off the vibes of being a creep. 4). I know I’m dead wrong for cheating with a married man that is so much older, but honestly I didn’t find out about his true background until after the first time we did something. Before, he didn’t wear a ring and he was very secretive about his home life. I was originally under the impression that he was single and he had a child. I didn’t question it because I didn’t want to know more. Again, none of my business, but on the flip side I haven’t told him about my boyfriend. And, I don’t plan on it either. Like I said, he seems like a creep, so I definitely wouldn’t want him trying to blow up my spot because he’s butt hurt. I know I’m a bit of a creep myself for being attracted to someone 17 years my senior, but in my defense he is gorgeous for his age. Like fine wine. Send me some advice. – Got Some Trouble Dear Ms. Got Some Trouble , Ratchet a** bird! Ugh! I can’t. I swear some of you young girls are trapped in the abysmal dark hole of ignorance, and stupidity. Basically, as my grandmother would say, “These fast tail girls who are hot in the pants.” Let’s get something real clear. You are not in a committed relationship. You do not love your boyfriend, and he is not the love of your life. If he was, then you wouldn’t be cheating on him. I don’t care if he’s your high school sweetheart, and he’s an a**hole, and you’ve spent nearly 9 years off and on with him dealing with his a**hole ways. Despite the things you don’t like about him, and what you nitpick with him about, he does not deserve what you are doing to him. If you don’t want to be with him, then just leave. If you are tired of his a**hole ways, then leave. You don’t cheat! You’re complaining about him, then you sit up here and say, “But, I’m immune to it.” Huh? And, then you go on to say we’ve grown on each other, and that he’s seen the changes in you and vice versa. Your dumba** obviously have not changed. You’ve gotten worse if you’re cheating on him. With your silly a**! Now, for the class, what do you call a woman, or man, who is in a committed relationship, yet, steps out on their relationship and sleeps with someone they work with, and continues the affair despite knowing the person is married? But, hold up, you then say that you can see yourself marrying him, having kids, the dog, and the white picket fence. Really? Really! You can barely stand being around him most times, and when –ish hits the fan, you feel that in order to resolve your issues it’s okay to cheat with someone you work with. Girl, I swear your common sense level is as bright as the donkey grazing on the side of the road. Why are you cheating? What is it about this older man that you find appealing, other than he is fine like wine for his age? (Silly a** bird) Why do you feel you can’t talk with your boyfriend, and reconcile what is bothering you, or him? What are you lacking in your relationship that you feel you need to go outside of it and cheat? What are you getting out of this? You claim you know that relationships take hard work and determination, and you’re talking about marrying your boyfriend, yet, you’re cheating on him. So, what determination and hard work have you invested in resolving your issues and problems? I do hope that your married side piece blows up your spot. I do hope that he rides over to your house and he and your boyfriend meet one another. I do hope your co-workers find out about your side piece and someone tells him about your boyfriend. I do hope that your boyfriend discovers you are cheating on him, and dumps your a**! You are young, silly, childish, and immature. You don’t know anything about relationships, love, and respecting other people’s emotions, or feelings. You’re using your boyfriend to cover up your own insecurities, and your own faults of self-worthlessness. You don’t love yourself because if you did, then you wouldn’t be cheating on your boyfriend, and, you wouldn’t allow yourself to lay down with an older man and allow yourself to subjected as a side piece hoe. You don’t care about anyone else, and are using others for your own demise and destruction. You’re only using the older man because you feel you can manipulate and deceive him to get what you want. You want attention. You want to be loved, wanted and needed. You want to escape into a world and hide from your problems and issues. You have low-self esteem, no self-worth, and you don’t respect yourself or your body. You claim you didn’t know the older man was married, but now that you know you still continue the infidelity with a married man, and who happens to have children at home. Did you, or do you think about his wife, and his family and how this will affect them if they find out what’s going on? Do you care if you destroy this man’s home? Does it even bother you that you are sleeping with another woman’s husband? Lawd, lawd, lawd, I hope she finds out and comes up to the job whoop both of y’all a**es! And, yes, he is low down and trifling for cheating on his wife, and sleeping around. But, you don’t have to be the one he is stepping out with, and spreading your legs wide for him. My advice is that you end the side piece relationship. It is not going to fair well if it goes on longer. His wife is going to find out, and/or, your boyfriend is going to find out. And, it won’t be pretty. Besides, you don’t –ish where you sleep or work! Office romances are detrimental to the workplace, and to all involved. Next, you come clean with your boyfriend and resolve your issues. Yes, tell him you’ve been cheating on him with a married man in the office, and why you’ve been doing it. What are you missing, and what you want at home? Why are you cheating, and what drove you to seek the bed of another man? You have to be honest with him and resolve your issues now before they get bigger and deeper, though they already are. Look, you can sit up here and claim you love him, and he’s your high school sweetheart, but in the end, we know you don’t love him, and you don’t want to be with him. If you did, then you would be working on your so-called committed relationship with him. If you have problems with his personality, and there is something you don’t like, then you discuss it, get into therapy, and work on your issues together. You don’t step outside of your relationship and cheat. And, if you’re considering marrying him, and building a life with him, then you must know that there will be some trying moments, times, and challenges in your marriage. If you can’t handle them now while you’re dating, then you will do what you’re currently doing, and that is seeking solace in another man’s arms and bed. So, you’re not ready for marriage, and you’re not ready for the long haul. You’re only out for yourself and what you can get. Separate from your boyfriend and spend the time working on you, and getting yourself together. You need to resolve the issues you’re dealing with, and what’s really at the core of your cheating. If you don’t, then this mess is going to blow up in your face, and you’re going to be left alone, without either man, picking up the pieces. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean :  loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean and “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!       Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! – See more at: http://bossip.com/939635/dear-bossip-hes-seems-like-a-wonderful-man-but-his-sexual-fetish-has-me-suspect-about-his-sexuality/#sthash.6lKtwpCP.dpuf Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE! – See more at: http://bossip.com/939635/dear-bossip-hes-seems-like-a-wonderful-man-but-his-sexual-fetish-has-me-suspect-about-his-sexuality/#sthash.6lKtwpCP.dpuf

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Dear Bossip: I’m In A Committed 9 Year Relationship, But I’m Sleeping With An Older Married Man That I Work With

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Taj Tells Demoted Manager ‘Kiss My Azz!’ – SWV Reunited [Video]

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

And Coko tells Taj her husband could be creepin’!

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Taj Tells Demoted Manager ‘Kiss My Azz!’ – SWV Reunited [Video]

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Dear Bossip: I Treated Him Horribly In The Past, But I’ve Been Trying To Reconnect & He Stands Me Up

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I don’t even know where to start, but I guess the short end of the stick is can a man you have hurt in the past forgive you or look at you romantically ever again? Back in 2005 I met a guy when I was home on winter break from college. I didn’t see him as anything serious (he wasn’t the best looking guy) and we had sex (great ongoing sex). I very slowly began to like him as a person and in that process he was sort of over me as we never moved passed sex. I remember times he would try a get me pregnant and in a conversation I said, “I don’t want a baby by you.” He repeated what I said and he replied like wow in a, “Damn, bish, that was a low blow way.” I said it harshly because I was hurt and wanted to hurt his feelings. I said hurtful things to him over the years in anger. (All shots at his semi failing music career attempts). I’m grown and mature now so the beautiful things I saw then in him are still there. I wanted to reconnect when I moved back to our home town. We talked for hours and I told him I wanted to meet up so I can kiss him. We met up, had a passionate kiss, and now he is avoiding me like the plague; and in a very bitter hurtful way. Like responding to my messages weeks later, setting up times to have sex and never showing up. I asked him flat out if he wanted me to stop contacting him and he said no. Hurt people, hurt people and I get I said some pretty ugly things, but why even have any contact with me to begin with if all you set out to do is play me like a fool. I’m not hurt by his actions, just very annoyed that I won’t get any of his very very very good penis anymore. Should I give up? Is he ever going to forgive me, move on, and really reconcile with me? – Feeling Played Dear Ms. Feeling Played , Yup, you have played yourself and are continuing to play yourself, and pay back is a bish! And, I don’t blame him. He got you feigning (In my Jodeci voice). LOL! No, he doesn’t want you to stop contacting him, begging for the d**k, looking to link up, and blowing up his phone with messages every other day. Nope, he doesn’t want you to stop because you are playing yourself. You are the fool. Every time he gets your messages begging for some time with him, and you leaving messages telling him that you’re hungry for his man meat, he gets to laugh and tell all his boys about you. It’s his bragging rights. And, he feels why should he waste his time on someone like you when you played him way to the left and sh****ed on his dreams, his looks, and all the spiteful things you did to him. Now, let some common sense sink into your thick skull, and think about this: He is setting up dates with you to have sex, then, he doesn’t show up, and when you leave him messages he responds weeks later. Let’s see here, I don’t know of a man who will set up a night of sex with anyone and then bail on them without a follow-up call, not unless he wanted to prove a point. Or, unless he wants to get revenge, and to see how long you will continue to play yourself. So, yeah, uhm, sweetie, who’s the thirsty one, now? Chile, you running after the d**k like a feign. LMBAO! This is a lesson learned that once you get some good d**k you don’t play it to the left, dog him, and be spiteful toward him. You keep that man and treat him right, despite how he looks and what you’re going through. That is your rainy day, snowy day, can’t get a hold of your main boo, or the lonely nights you need some good loving d**k. What’s sad is that though you said you have grown and are mature, however, you’re still acting like a little a** girl. You claim you see the beautiful things in him, and he’s a good person, yet, you only call him when you want sex. The fact that time went by, and because you were coming home from school and want to reconnect with him, well, that doesn’t mean he wants to reconnect with you. You treated that man like he was nothing, as if he was beneath you. You only used him for sex, and though he may have had feelings for you, it was you who shot him down, and made him feel like he wasn’t good enough for you. And, you acted as if you were doing him a favor by having sex with him. Oh, yeah, by the way, you never said if you apologized to him when you spoke with him. SMDH! Why didn’t you apologize? Are you too good for that, too? So, yeah, he may have some resentment. He may be feeling some type of way. You bruised his ego. You destroyed his pride. Now, why would you think anyone would want to reconnect and start again with you? You left him with a bitter and bad experience. That’s all he remembers of you, the treatment you gave him, and the things you said to him. If you are not feeling any type of way about his non-responses to your messages, or standing you up, but, you claim you are annoyed, then it’s obvious that you have not grown. You still think of yourself as better than him because how dare he stand you up, and how dare he not respond to your messages immediately. Doesn’t he know who you are? You are doing him a favor, right? Please go have several seats in the thirst chair! You owe him an apology. You should ask him to forgive you for the way you treated him. Let him know that you were in a bad place, and you are sorry for how you treated him, and why you took it out on him. It’s time to be a bigger woman, own up to your mistakes, flaws, and ratchet behavior. You were horrible to him, and you need to acknowledge that and let him know that. It’s time to grow up, and take responsibility for your actions, and stop using people for your own benefit. And, to be honest, you really don’t want to reconnect with him because he’s a great guy. You just want his very very very good penis, as you said. Tell the truth, and be honest with yourself, and with him. He may accept your apology, and he may forgive you, but he will never forget. The way he is treating you is indicative of how you treated him. Please stop begging, and asking him to come over and spend time with you, because he is not going to. You are playing yourself. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!       Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! – See more at: http://bossip.com/907684/dear-bossip-for-five-years-ive-handled-all-his-affairs-credit-taxes-money-but-he-wont-marry-me/#sthash.c6l03tTw.dpuf

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Dear Bossip: I Treated Him Horribly In The Past, But I’ve Been Trying To Reconnect & He Stands Me Up

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Dear Bossip: Initially He Wanted A Relationship & I Wanted To Take Things Slow, Now I Want More & He’s Taking It Slow

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I met a guy 9 months ago and after a few weeks of spending time together he suggested that we become a couple. I assumed it was too fast and wanted to take things slow, but he claimed that he knew what he wanted. We were at his house one day and before I knew it one thing led to the other. Now, I am confused because I developed feelings for him that were so intense after we became intimate. We still talk and spend time together, but it’s all on me now. After telling him how I felt, he swore it was all in my head. I never intended to develop those feelings that were so intense, but because we were already intimate he expected it all the time. I felt that our relationship was becoming only based on sex so I told him I needed a break. After a few months I decided that I missed him and was a little horny so again it became that all we were intimate, and again I cut him off. A few months later he called me and said he wanted to spend time with me and that he missed me. I told him no and that I wanted more. I wanted a commitment. This has been confusing because we are always finding our way back to each other. This weekend I called him again and explained that I missed him and that I was ready for a commitment. He said we should take things day by day and see where it goes. As usual we ended up in the bed. What confused me even more was that although he said let’s take it day by day he took the condom off and for the first time we did not use protection. I am not on birth control so I am very worried. I think I am in love with him and I do not want to be with anyone else. I feel that I should have committed to him when he asked initially, but I didn’t. My friends say that I should just give him time and I am willing to do that, but I want him so badly now and I am hoping that I am not pregnant. Please Advise. – Lost and Confused Dear Ms. Lost and Confused , Yes, you are lost and confused. See, you playing games and nobody has time to play these childish a** games with you. Either you want a relationship or you don’t. Either you want a commitment or you don’t. And, why the hell are you having unprotected sex!!?!! I don’t get it. You’re not on birth control, and you felt so comfortable with him that you allowed him to lay up in you raw? Where is your damn common sense? It’s obvious you don’t have any. You’re just like you signed your letter LOST AND CONFUSED! You and this back and forth with this guy. Sheesh! No wonder he says he wants to take it day by day. You don’t know what you want. So, instead of committing to you, he is simply following your lead, and giving you exactly what you want – SEX. You have defined and shaped this relationship into what it is. It is based on sex because that is what you want. You keep saying you want a commitment, however, when you are together it only results in a sexual relationship. You’re both complicit in this, but, early on he told you that he wanted a relationship and you are the one who said no. Now, if this guy was ready to commit and be a relationship, and then you say no, but you continue sleeping with him, then what do you think he will expect and think of you and the relationship? He will assume that that’s all you want. You keep ending things with him, but, yet you keep coming back for sex. Hmmmm….do you see this pattern? You keep saying that you want more with him, yet, every time YOU take a break from him, when you two get back together it involves sex. So, if every time you take a break, to figure things out, to get yourself together, to find out who you are and what you want, he just sits back and waits on you to call because you always do. Or, he will call you. And, you begin this pattern again. The real question you should be asking is what do you want? What is it about him that you are reluctant to commit to?  You say you want a commitment, but, when you are together it’s all on you. Well, don’t you think this could be because your relationship is a back and forth, up and down rollercoaster ride. One minute things are intense and you really want to be with him, sexing him, and ready to commit, and the next you want a break because it’s too intense, and you don’t want it to be sexual. That is confusing. There is something holding you back. There is something about him that’s keeping you from being honest and truthful with him, and yourself. So, what is it? Early on he told you that he knew what he wanted, and it was to be with you. He was ready for a relationship. But, you told him no. You told him that you wanted to take things slow, but you continued to sleep with him. So, why did you want to take things slow? What red flag did you notice? What’s going on in your life, or with you that you not ready to commit to a relationship? Are you sure you want to be with him, or do you just want him for sex and are afraid to say that? At some point you’re going to have to be real with yourself, tell yourself the truth, and be honest with both you and he. Eventually, he will get tired of this game, and while you’re trying to figure out what you want, and if you’re really ready to commit to him, he will find himself another woman who is ready, and she will gladly take him off your hands. I suggest you make a list of his attributes. What do you like about him. What do you enjoy about him. What is he bringing to the table that enhances you, empowers you, uplifts you, and inspires you. Then make a list of things you don’t like about him. What is that annoying thing, or red flag about him that prevents you from really committing to him. If your positives outweigh the negatives, then you and he should sit down and really discuss what you both want from a relationship. What expectations do you both have, and can either of you commit to those expectations. If the list has more negatives, then he is not the man for you. If that red flag is persistent, then take heed and move on. Stop playing this game of lost and confused. He is not doing anything, it’s you who is bringing all this confusion and drama to the relationship. He is only following your lead. Be real with yourself about what you want, what you need, and what it is you want from him. If he can’t give you that, then it’s time to end this back and forth, and move on from him. Because the only thing you have with him right now is a steady sexual relationship. And, if you want a sexual relationship, then be honest about it. Tell yourself and him the truth that is what you want. But, don’t be having raw and unprotected sex with him. Use protection always. And, if you continue this sexual relationship with him, then you and he should get tested together. Don’t allow yourself to play this dangerous game of unprotected sex with someone else – Terrance Dean   Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!       

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Dear Bossip: Initially He Wanted A Relationship & I Wanted To Take Things Slow, Now I Want More & He’s Taking It Slow

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*Exclusive Rumor Control* Kandi Burruss (RHOA) Clarifies Fiance Todd’s Cheating Rumors [Video]

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Kandi Burruss, of Real Housewives Of Atlanta, stopped by the Bossip office in NY to clear up the recent rumors about her boyfriend freeloading and cheating.

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*Exclusive Rumor Control* Kandi Burruss (RHOA) Clarifies Fiance Todd’s Cheating Rumors [Video]

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Dear Bossip: My Boyfriend Has Bad Hygiene And It Has Caused Me Trips To The OB/GYN

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Benny Hollywood| Leave a comment

Dear Bossip , I’ve read so many reader letters that I decided to ask a question of my own. While in college, I dated a guy that I met through a mutual friend. I initially wasn’t interested, but he pursued me and eventually won me over. It wasn’t until we became sexually active that I realized he had disgusting personal hygiene. After going down on me, I noticed that I had a strange odor “down there” and went to go see my OB/GYN. She said I had Bacterial Vaginosis, which is an infection and sometimes could be considered a STD. I was treated, but every time my boyfriend went down on me, it happened again. I ended up with at least 3 other BV infections. My OB/GYN told me that I had to tell my boyfriend about his dental hygiene and how it was affecting me, but I couldn’t find the words. So, I tried an experiment. I hid his toothbrush to see if he would notice. After at least 2 days, he never mentioned it and never replaced it. I was disgusted. We eventually ended up breaking up for other reasons. Fast forward to today, we have been back in contact and currently are in a long distance relationship. He came to visit me and his dental hygiene is improved, but still nowhere near what it needs to be. On top of that, he wears clothes with stains on them, coughs with his mouth wide open and doesn’t wash his hands! He explains it as, “I’m a real man.” His family says that he’s been doing questionable things with his hygiene for years. How in the world do I address this topic? – Germaphobe Dear Ms. Germaphobe , Ma’am! Why are you in a relationship with a “man” who refuses to take care of his personal hygiene? You will open and spread your legs to a man who is giving you diseases, and infecting your body with his bad breath and unsanitary ways, but won’t say anything to him about it? Does that make any logical sense? I’m thinking there’s something suspect and questionable about you! There is no way in hell I would lay down with someone for a second and third time and they are causing damage and harm to my body. Hell to the naw! And, no, he is not a “real man,” with his old nasty a**! A real man will wash his a**, brush his teeth, floss, use deodorant, have some decorum, and table manners. A real man doesn’t walk around with stains on his clothes, coughing with his mouth wide open, and not washing his hands. That is just nasty and trifling. How can you sleep with this man? If he is doing all of this, then, I am certain he is not properly washing his behind. And, I can only imagine that he doesn’t wear clean underwear, socks, and, nor does he wash his neck, ears, and underarms. How can he walk around for two days without brushing his teeth? Who does that? No wonder he has halitosis, and is infecting your vaginal area. And, what I don’t understand is that you ended up with three BV infections due to your boyfriend’s bad breath, and personal hygiene regimen, and you didn’t say anything to him about it? HUH!!!!????!!!! This man is infecting your body, causing damage to your vaginal area, and the only thing you do is try an experiment by hiding his toothbrush? What the hell? But, hold up! You break up and are now back in a relationship with him, and you still haven’t addressed his hygiene? I swear d**k is a dangerous drug. Women will put their bodies, and lives at risk for some piece of a man. You will jeopardize your health, well-being, and doing more damage to your vaginal area all because you want a man. SMDH! You have to be honest and tell this man the truth. Stop putting yourself at risk. It’s not worth it. What happens when you keep getting BV infections, and it does some serious damage to your vaginal area, and it prevents you from having children? Then what? What happens when it becomes incurable? Either you respect yourself, your body, and your well-being, or you continue to put yourself at risk. Is he worth it? Hell naw! It’s obvious he is not going to change. He feels being nasty, trifling, dirty, and not washing as signs of being a real man. He has a warped idea and sensibility of what a real man is. Therefore, I can only imagine how he treats you, and what he thinks of women. So, today, when you call or have a SKYPE session with him, I want you to be as gentle as you can be, and you explain to him what his personal hygiene has done to you. Share with him what your doctor has told you about his hygiene, and in order to move forward there will need to be some drastic changes in his personal hygiene. Share articles with him from Men’s Health, or other men’s magazines that have articles on how men can take care of themselves healthily and still be a “man.” Let him know it’s okay to be clean, and to practice a daily hygienic routine that not only helps him, but also will help your relationship. Share with him how it makes you feel to have a man who looks sharp, clean, and put together. A man with fresh breath, and a clean after shower smell. I’m sure he wouldn’t want a woman who didn’t take care of herself, or wasn’t about keeping herself clean. If he doesn’t make the changes, and he is combative, or argumentative about his cleanliness, and hygiene, then perhaps you will need to reconsider your relationship. If he is not willing to take care of himself, and take care of his own personal hygiene, then, he doesn’t think much of you. A man who won’t take care of himself will not be able to take care of you. – Terrance Dean Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below! Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean : loveandrelationships@bossip.com Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter : @terrancedean “LIKE” Terrance Dean on Facebook , click  HERE! Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!        

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Dear Bossip: My Boyfriend Has Bad Hygiene And It Has Caused Me Trips To The OB/GYN

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