Tag Archives: the-internet

Ireland Baldwin in Her Bikini of the Day

My good internet friend, 17 year old IRELAND BALDWIN ….who one day will turn 18, not that it matters, considering the hormones in the food have made her 18 many years ago at least in size and ability to get pregnant…it’s just a fact that girls today have more body in their teen year…and more importantly….that girls today have more interest in showing off their bodies…it’s the whole hitting puberty at 7 that made this possible. Thanks Diary Industry. So bikinis are smaller and smaller, bodies are curvier and curvier, and 6 foot 2 Ireland is lookin’ like a lot of fun on a Stand-Up Paddleboard something I assume her boyfriend taught her – since he’s a pro SUPer. You may find me perverted for posting this, but I figure at 17.5, she’s old enough, not to mention I was talking to a group of dad’s in the park this weekend, and they were all freaking out about their teen daughter’s friends who come over to swim during the summer, perving out while pretending to supervise….and they were far more perverted than me… Probably because I have the luxury of having a wife who is so fat she doesn’t say shit about me fucking other girls whenever I want. Unlike those other husbands with the teen daughters, who have opted to put their penis in purgatory – or at least prison….forced to fuck the same pussy daily….Depressing enough to make a dude jerk off to a 17.5 year old…something I won’t be doing because I like my women more experienced and 19…but I’m not gonna judge you for doing cuz we’re all fucking freaks…some of us are just more public about it.

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Ireland Baldwin in Her Bikini of the Day

Hayden Panettiere in Her Bikini of the Day

In case you didn’t realize, since you have no job, friends or family, and all you have is the internet and Role Playing Games, it’s Memorial Day… To some, it is the first day of summer, the internation day for the BBQ, the day girls bust out their bikinis…because it seems like everyone is in their fucking bikinis, including Hayden Panettiere… Making it the official first day of the year for a titty implant reveal…you know all other new implant titty reveals before today were just practice for today…. So here she is having fun with her new friends….

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Hayden Panettiere in Her Bikini of the Day

Emma Watson for W of the Day

Emma Watson is in W MAGAZINE and these are some of the pictures….boring fucking pictures…that luckily are exciting to her fans, because her fans are into Wizards and shit, making them not so into girls, or at least into fucking girls, but more into lusting after them in uncomfortable ways as they LARP….. You know she could be in a clown costume, mascot costume, just the idea that it is Emma Watson…the EMMA WATSON…from Harry Potter….makes them spontaneously ejaculate….I mean as far as they’re concerned they’ve been in a relationship for the last decade and her older familiar face…is all they want to know…and anyway they get it, they are stoked… While I’m more into nude fashion shoots. Call me crazy.

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Emma Watson for W of the Day

Lisandra Mendes in a Bikini for Eve Brazil of the Day

Lisandra Mendes is either Portuguese or Brazilian. I can’t find anything about her on the internet, but in defense of her relevance and importance to the world, I didn’t look that hard. I mean she could be a massive hit in whatever country she’s from for all I know, and she should be, cuz this ethnic body is pro….top notch…and meant to be modeling bikinis…so whoever she is, and whatever she does, let’s hope the evil corporations like Victoria’s Secret abduct her and her family and put her to work, cuz she’s fucking lovely half naked….and if I wasn’t so lazy, I’d totally dig through the internet for more….

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Lisandra Mendes in a Bikini for Eve Brazil of the Day

The Reese Witherspoon Arrest Tapes of the Day

The Reese Witherspoon arrest is a nice example of her true colors, she’s a cunt, but I could have already told you that and I’ve never met her, but more importantly, her pussy actor husband not having her back as he shits himself getting arrested, because his cushy bullshit life doesn’t take well to real situations like getting arrested, and says “I had nothing to do with that”….in a broken voice…because these people, when you strip away their money, can’t handle the simple things in life in a normal way, they think, because we make them think, that they are important, above the law and run the fucking country, even though all they do is play make belief. Fuck em all. I am just bummed she wasn’t sent to county, prison raped, and taught a few lessons of how the world, when you’re not a millionaire celebrity people suck up all the time, works. The worst thing in all this, is that I still think this is a publicity stunt to promote her movie and get her in the news.

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The Reese Witherspoon Arrest Tapes of the Day

The Reese Witherspoon Arrest Tapes of the Day

The Reese Witherspoon arrest is a nice example of her true colors, she’s a cunt, but I could have already told you that and I’ve never met her, but more importantly, her pussy actor husband not having her back as he shits himself getting arrested, because his cushy bullshit life doesn’t take well to real situations like getting arrested, and says “I had nothing to do with that”….in a broken voice…because these people, when you strip away their money, can’t handle the simple things in life in a normal way, they think, because we make them think, that they are important, above the law and run the fucking country, even though all they do is play make belief. Fuck em all. I am just bummed she wasn’t sent to county, prison raped, and taught a few lessons of how the world, when you’re not a millionaire celebrity people suck up all the time, works. The worst thing in all this, is that I still think this is a publicity stunt to promote her movie and get her in the news.

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The Reese Witherspoon Arrest Tapes of the Day

Dita Von Teese Fetish Vine of the Day

Dita Von Teese was a gutter fetish model before she got “famous” on the internet, landing some Playboy shit that turned her into a Jenny McCarthy, star fucking, mainstream version of a pin-up model, in an era when Burlesque made a comeback, well she posted one of her earlier clips, ballerina feet in pie, and I had no choice but to post it, because it’s a ridiculous fetish, and more importantly, any girl can do this at home for some extra money, without feeling like a gutter hooker, even if like Dita Von Teese, you are.

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Dita Von Teese Fetish Vine of the Day

Adriana Lima in Boring Victoria’s Secret Underwear Pics of the Day

I hate Victoria’s Secret in terms of the evil corporate brand, the shitty product offering, the played out, repetitive creative direction of their photoshoots, but I like their choice in models, even when old an fat, and moms cuz like a good Catholic, they don’t use condoms, but then again who really does. My love for model, carries through into my everyday life. I only talk to tall skinny girls. And the good thing about tall skinny girls, other than them not being fat, is the likelihood that they have done some level of modeling – usually low level because let’s face it they are talking to me. And the nice thing about low level modeling, is that it means titty pics from photoshoots and the nice thing about the internet, and being this good at the internet, you know cuz I work it daily, is that I can easily find that shit…I just need a name. I mean I guess I could just try to sleep with them, instead of stalking them on the internet, for nude pics, but that requires work and I hate work, if I liked worked, I probably would have a job other than stalking pics of babes that I don’t get paid to do….like these pics of Adriana Lima…. I’m glad we took this journey together.

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Adriana Lima in Boring Victoria’s Secret Underwear Pics of the Day

Kate Upton Modeling in Bazaar with Wild Animals of the Day

There’s always something funny about seeing Kate Upton modeling that I call obesity. She’s massive, sloppy, chubby, but she’s got skinny legs and big tits, to make her weird bulbous cartoon like torso a little less offensive than it actually is. She gets so much hype and represents all that is wrong with the internet, you know because without the internet, she’d be working the Walmart cash, but with the internet, and it’s gang of virgin losers, she’s on the cover of magazines, cuz people celebrate her and the mainstream media figure they should do, even though I know, that they know, that she’s Anna Nicole Smith a few years before becoming Anna Nicole Smith…. Here she is with wild animals, cuz she’s a farm animal, for Harper’s Bazaar.

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Kate Upton Modeling in Bazaar with Wild Animals of the Day

Kate Upton Modeling in Bazaar with Wild Animals of the Day

There’s always something funny about seeing Kate Upton modeling that I call obesity. She’s massive, sloppy, chubby, but she’s got skinny legs and big tits, to make her weird bulbous cartoon like torso a little less offensive than it actually is. She gets so much hype and represents all that is wrong with the internet, you know because without the internet, she’d be working the Walmart cash, but with the internet, and it’s gang of virgin losers, she’s on the cover of magazines, cuz people celebrate her and the mainstream media figure they should do, even though I know, that they know, that she’s Anna Nicole Smith a few years before becoming Anna Nicole Smith…. Here she is with wild animals, cuz she’s a farm animal, for Harper’s Bazaar.

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Kate Upton Modeling in Bazaar with Wild Animals of the Day