Tag Archives: topless

Kate Upton’s Boobs in Slow Motion for a Trailer of the Day

I am sure I posted the behind the scenes paparazzi pics of this movie, because I remember seeing them, but feel a little uninterested in looking for Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton on the beach, but I don’t mind posting the edited footage of Kate Upton’s tits on the beach, not because I like her awkward shitty ass body and shitty acting….or even because I like her tits…but because you do…and I’m accommodating like that…I mean if anything this is a massive fucking Judd Apatow joke…thanks to an Sports Illustrated swimsuit joke….the worst….but tits…sloppy or not…are tits…

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Kate Upton’s Boobs in Slow Motion for a Trailer of the Day

Top 10 Short Haired Hotties

The pretty pixies on the Top 10 Short Haired Hotties have no long locks to obscure their topless scenes. Their hair may be short, but you’ll be growing long!

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Top 10 Short Haired Hotties

Tricia Helfer in her Bikini for Instagram of the Day

Tricia Helfer is some Canadian actress who nerds love because she was hired for some low budget Canadian show that for some reason nerds bought into…because she was the discount bargain basement actor that fit into their budget…. Which teaches us all a valuable lesson, that sometimes buying the bootleg version of what you want, you know the sale item, no name brand version isn’t always that bad an option, especially when it comes to women, because there’s the expensive ones that cost money and have attitude and the ones willing to do shit for a warm shower all eager and shit…and when it’s all said and done, in both cases you get the same outcome…aids….or an orgasm…or a wife you can’t get rid of…or in the case of Battlestar Gallatica, a girl you turned semi-famous. Here are her bikini pics from vacation.

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Tricia Helfer in her Bikini for Instagram of the Day

Sara Sampaio for Free People of the Day

Sara Sampaio is a greasy Portuguese fish eating model who is modelling for Free People in bikinis…and shit is about as exciting as bikini catalog pictures go, which is not exciting at all. They are all the same… If anything, the random fame whore attention seeking sluts on Instagram are more interesting and have more compelling pictures than this…but because Sara Sampaio is a Victoria’s Secret model, I am going to pretend that them lending her out to other companies that they probably manufacture for, is more important than the amateur models looking for this kind of campaign…because..that’s what the media wants me to do…I blame the illuminati.

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Sara Sampaio for Free People of the Day

Naomi Watts Does Bathing Suits of the Day

These bathing suit pics of Naomi Watts would be far more interesting if she wasn’t 100 fucking years old… I mean we can all celebrate her 100 year old mom body in a form fitting one piece like shit’s a fucking masterpiece…even when it’s not… We can be like “OMG, for a mom of two Live Schreiber babies, she’s not all that bad”…but that’s like saying for a fat chick, she’s not that bad…or for an amputee, she’s not that bad…or for a serial killer, she’s not that bad…or for a herpes ridden aids infected hooker, she’s not that bad… It’s always fucking bad…at least when comparing her now…to what was… Sure it could be worse…but this that great… TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Naomi Watts Does Bathing Suits of the Day

DrunkenSweatshop X Gordon Holdon Collab T-Shirt of the Day

“NUNS LOVE JESUS A LOT” is the name of this perfectly timed T-Shirt designed by artist Gordon Holden for DrunkenStepfather.com, because it is Jesus’ birthday in a week and what better way to celebrate it than to have a couple ladies who devoted their life to him, licking what could be an ice cream cone, or a candy cane, or really a Jesus statue…but you’d never know, since we censored it! We had stepGIRL MACBUD model it on her recent vacation in MIAMI…. TO GET ONE OF THE MOST OFFENSIVE AND INSANE SHIRTS OF THE YEAR CLICK HERE

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DrunkenSweatshop X Gordon Holdon Collab T-Shirt of the Day

Brooklyn Decker’s Nipple Slip on Photoshoot of the Day

Andy Roddick’s wife who I like to think, at least based on her average at best body, and handicapped looking water head, is only a bikini model because of serious scamming…that comes with having pro athlete boyfriends… There are a lot of hot girls in the world, a lot of tall hot bitches in the world, a lot of tall hot bitches with rocking’ fit bikini bodies and nice round tits in the world…the fact that a handful are singled out has got to be some Illuminati shit…or maybe just old school, era before instagram, when everyday babes were never seen, and the handpicked girls who fucked the right people were the ones published and once published…they became the ones that mattered to the world… Either way, we can all agree Brooklyn Decker doesn’t matter…but her nipple slip on set of a bikini shoot, I doubt she’s even getting paid for, matters enough for me….not because nipples are a big deal, but because I like looking at them. TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Brooklyn Decker’s Nipple Slip on Photoshoot of the Day

Wicked Temptation Lingerie is the Gift Idea of the Day

You don’t need to support a multi-billion dollar company that is bullying all the independents out of business with big budget infomercials promoting their products this time of year to know that one of the hottest, most important gifts for both you and your significant other is lingerie. Our friends at WICKED TEMPTATIONS prove that you have options…and they do that by giving us a lot of creative products…for a lot of creative adventures…that all start with what she’s wearing underneath her X-Mas Nighty…it helps Santa come to town. So buy yourself, your love, your mom, anyone you want to help out some WICKED TEMPTATION …it is our gift idea of the day – and when it is modelled on our stepGIRLS you know why…. PHOTOS SHOT BY THE AMAZING, TALENTED, BEAUTIFUL JULIEN ARCHAMBEAULT TO SEE THE REST OF THE VERY MERRY GIFT GUIDE CLICK HERE

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Wicked Temptation Lingerie is the Gift Idea of the Day

Isabela Soncini Bikini Catalog Model of the Day

Isabela Soncini is the Bikini Catalog model of the day, posing in shit that’s hardly interesting, but still in a bikini, making that totally OK, because sometimes porn is just boring and repetitive and all we need is a little bikini model erotica to get our fire started, in this world that is all about gaping spread vaginas – but that doesn’t need to be.

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Isabela Soncini Bikini Catalog Model of the Day

Alyssa Miller is A Boring Catalog Model of the Day

Alyssa Miller is some girl who Sports Illustrated created thanks to dating the photographer’s son, probably a strategic move, like dating Jake Gyllenhaal, even though Gyllenhaal is gay, because you only live once and you might as well get as much exposure as possible..you know make the fucking moves when the opportunity presents itself, even if it requires using your vagina as collateral because otherwise some other girl is going to do it and get all that could have been yours…Get money, fuck bitches.

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Alyssa Miller is A Boring Catalog Model of the Day