Tag Archives: underwear

Socially Awkward Nerd Recruits Kate Upton for Prom of the Day

Autistic/Apsergers weirdos get away with a lot, because if I was to make a video requesting Kate Upton come to my PROM, the police would be at my fucking door, seizing my computers and questioning my intentions for her tits.. But get a jewish weirdo, who is likey good at math, humiliating himself on the internet, because this is his brand of nerd humor, and with being a nerd who is always mocked for being a weirdo, is comfortable in his own skin, even though he shouldn’t be…. And it goes semi viral, she finds it cuter than my video inserting objects in my asshole in a bathtub full of burgers, cuz her belly makes me think she can never turn down burgers. Either way, I’m just shocked that weirdo high school kids are exactly the same as always, you’d think they’d evolve into a different kind of weird. This whole thing, and all the bad jokes, makes me uncomfortable, I’m just posting it to put the pressure on Upton to show up an go through with this, cuz every pre-mature ejaculator deserves a chance. His multi million dollar inheritance and the babes who will be thrown his way, coupled with his dad booking Rihanna for his Bar Mitzvah, aren’t enough winning for this loser. How about some Kate Upton in the only shoot she’s done that I’ve found her hot….the Nipples getting out of the pool for GQ

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Socially Awkward Nerd Recruits Kate Upton for Prom of the Day

Beyonce in Shape but Not in Shape of the Day

Beyonce is a shape…round….but not in Shape….despite being featured in Shape. I know that is a confusing statement, that I can translate for you, since I wrote it. Beyonce is fat, sloppy, a mom and photoshopped for a magazine called Shape…that is about fitness, and people who are actually in Shape, but I guess they make exceptions when it comes to big A-Lister powerhouses, because it sells copies. Especially when controversial. I hate how she’s trying to be a sex pot, trying to compete with Rihanna who makes her husband more money than god, something we can assume has led to Beyonce stepping up her game, by stripping down her clothes and as much as I generally love that desperation. I’m not digging this, but I’m still willing to try jerking off to it, to challenge my masturbation abilities. It’s not self rape if I cum…but even if I cum, Beyonce is still the fucking devil.

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Beyonce in Shape but Not in Shape of the Day

Jennifer Love Hewitt Half Naked for a Stndrd Magazine of the Day

This whole Jennifer Love Hewitt deciding to get in shape and find her sex appeal at 35 is really strange to me….I guess what happened was that her ego couldn’t handle being laughed at in her late 20s and early 30s when she constantly got dumped from her boyfriends/fiances as she progressively got fatter….and she had to prove us all wrong…and remind us what her life in the industry is all about…but it would have been such a better strategy, if she was playing the role of the hooker when she was 22, you know when we really would want to see her half naked…but instead she was in high demand and the most she’d give us was some cleavage, like some good little christian…. I guess the life lesson is….if you forget about busty babes, they’ll turn fat and come back harder than ever to prove that they haven’t lost whatever they once had….and I guess I can’t complain about that….but I am sure I can find a way…like focusing on her being chubby, not toned even after photoshop at her best angles, without showing off her cankles…and 100 fucking years old….but I’m still into her being a fragment of what was….

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Half Naked for a Stndrd Magazine of the Day

Maryna Linchuk Amazing Tits for 25 Magazine of the Day

Straight from the slums of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show in 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011…..Maryna Linchuk, the Belarusian model…who is hot as fuck…has decided to take her fashion modeling to the softcore porn/erotic scene that is marketed as “fashion”….with 25 Magazine …..and I’m glad she did….because I’m glad whenever a model test her model ability…by taking on such intense shoots for the perverts who prefer seeing her topless than seeing her in cheap mid-western underwear. It’s not the first time she’s been TOPLESS …in fact I posted these same pics in February…but I’m in too deep and no one pays attention to me, so I’m doin’ it again….this shit happens all the time to me…so many titties – so hard to keep track of them….

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Maryna Linchuk Amazing Tits for 25 Magazine of the Day

Rihanna in Concert of the Day

I was invited to go to the Rihanna concert pretty last minute last night…and since i was already drunk….and since I am in love with Rihanna….for some many reasons….starting with her being hot bodied and broken…rich and famous….a rumored child prostitute turned popstar who lets her boyfriend beat her up then runs back to him….who is at the top of her game…. And despite her showing up an hour late, and her inability to actually sing or hold a note, despite being run through auto-tune machinery….she was pretty hot to watch do her dancehall dancing for an hour….I’m talking humping the air, twerking, gyrating, slapping the floor…. I have a feeling she may have had a yeast infection…cuz she kept scratching her vagina….but maybe that’s all part of the show… Either way, I am unapologetic for going, mainly because along with Rihanna being a live action porno movie for my mind…her fans, at least here, are some gutter girls….strippers, fake tits, some with kids, some with boyfriends, all fucking gyrating in the audience along with her….making the whole experience…sexy as fuck…reminding me that Rihanna is the hottest bitch in the game right now…. HERE ARE A BUNCH OF PICS OF HER IN CONCERT FOLLOW THIS LINK

http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/flv/Rihanna-Pour-It-Up-Bra-Shorts.flv

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Rihanna in Concert of the Day

Jodie Marsh is Nude for Zoo of the Day

Retired Glamour model…turned bodybuilder….is back…to Glamour Modeling…because being a pro body builder, not only takes away all your sex appeal you career and fake tits are based on….but also doesn’t pay the motherfucking bills…the fact that she retired, when she’s an attention seeking hooker, is just comical, because based on her look, what the fuck else is she gonna do with herself to pay her bills…I mean if it’s not topless modeling and it’s not porn…she might as well not exist… So I’m glad to see this shoot, that’s actually kinda hardcore for the Lad Mags….who are pushing the limits of what they are allowed to do before being considered smut…and I’m pretty into it…especially when it involves this clown lookin’ throwback model who keeps comin’ back to this life…cuz it is all she knows….and feels like home…. I’m into it….

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Jodie Marsh is Nude for Zoo of the Day

Miranda Kerr is Not Naked Enough for Vogue Australia of the Day

Miranda Kerr, like all hookers, is peddling some bullshit, that she probably gets a percentage of sales on, because why the fuck not use you celebrity like you were Diddy and branch out in everything to push the 100,000,000 dollar mark….cuz getting paid 10 million a year to just pose for Victoria’s Secret, isn’t challenging enough, and when you’re a model the window is only so big…that you gotta plan for a retirement…and who the fuck cares…it involves her posting pics of herself in the shower in a bikini like we are in High School….at a party…where the girls aren’t quite ready to throw down…but are interested in the concept of showering with you…at least that’s how it played out for me….but now, if a shower opportunity arrises amongst friends…I don’t do this PG shit…I demand nudity…the way showers are meant to be had… I also thew in some Vogue Australia pics cuz she’s lovely to look at….

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Miranda Kerr is Not Naked Enough for Vogue Australia of the Day

Heidi Klum VS a Burger of the Day

Heidi Klum is eating a Hamburger…for Carl’s Jr….and it looks like it is going to be a highly erotic experience….partially cuz despite being old and having a battered vagina from dozens of kids and a husband with a cock the size of a child’s forearm….she’s still Heidi Klum…no matter how fucking tired her face is….but also because she’s got awesome tits….but most importanlty…cuz I like watching chicks eat disgusting foods when they aren’t fat…probably as a trade off for being disgusted by fat chicks who eat anything…even celery sticks….cuz food can be erotic…just not when she’s missing toes from Diabetes….

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Heidi Klum VS a Burger of the Day

Amy Hood for Jonathan Leder Topless for his Movie of the Day

My man Jonathan Leder, a photographer I think I’ve spoken to at least once, while trying to seduce his models on Instagram, girls who are amazing, and who pull off this vintage erotica thing for him really well….one who has gone onto do Playboy and another who calls me out everytime we cross internet paths….and now this one, Amy Hood, who I’ve never heard of, but who is the main star of his movie…that you can see the trailer of below…. The guy is fucking talent, he’s going places, and he’s bringing hotness I am into…making it a no brainer for me to support, promote and try to hang out with him for the chance to produce his movies and hold his models’ hands…. Here are the pics…The only flaw in all this is that she doesn’t have bush…

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Amy Hood for Jonathan Leder Topless for his Movie of the Day

Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day

I used to bang a girl who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because they both had massive noses….the only difference was that she wasn’t Penelope Cruz and just had a big nose…..meaning two things…the first – that Penelope Cruz rocks a big nose, something we all hate better than any girl…..I mean so good she’s even hotter than girls with normal sized noses……the second…that she makes other big nosed girls thing they shouldn’t get a nose job even when they should…. Here she is on the beach, pregnant with Javier’s baby, looking better than most pregnant chicks…because I guess Penelope Cruz is one of those girls who could make herpes scabs look awesome…cuz let’s face it…pregnancy is the worst STD around…. Here’s the video: TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

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Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day