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Darkseid And Ding Dongs − Three Radical Storylines For The ‘Justice League’ Movie

Latino Review  is citing a source who says Warner Bros. has settled on storyline its 2015 Justice League movie. According to the tipster, the film will look to issues 183-185 of the  Justice League comic, which was released back in 1980. That plot has Darkseid — confirmed as the movie’s villain — attempting to use a magical laser beam to blast planet Earth to bits and move his home world, Apokolips, into its place. Yikes! Latino Review ‘s stories are quite usually accurate, but until the news receives official confirmation, I’m taking this with a big-ass grain of Kryptonite. Besides, as cool as this sounds, there’s a hell of a lot more from DC’s storied history worth mining for the first cinematic team-up between Superman and Batman (and the rest, cough.) I think DC and WB need to consider all options available to them before committing, so to help them out, here are three other superpowered super stories worth exploiting: 1. Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985) By the 1980s, the DC universe had stopped making sense thanks to 40-plus years of superhero funnybooks that had been reactively and haphazardly modified to suit the aesthetic tastes of the times. Batman was both the grumpy avenger of the 1970s AND the campy 1950s version whose relationship with Robin unfairly inspired the moral panic book  Seduction of the Innocent . Superman was both a stiff-necked last son of Krypton and the guy who had Krypto the Super Dog. No superhero’s official backstory made any sense at all, basically, and DC’s official explanation, the Multiverse (all these various contradictory versions of characters existed in numerous parallel dimensions) now made less sense than Mulholland Drive. To fix this mess, DC writer Marv Wolfman came up with Crisis , in which two godlike beings — The  Monitor and his evil counterpart the Anti-Monitor — used DC’s various character incarnations in a battle over control of the Multiverse. Total destruction was narrowly avoided when even stalwart villains like Darkseid joined the fight to stop the Anti-Monitor — the result being that DC became a single universe once more and some inconvenient characters were erased seemingly forever from Continuity. (RIP: Supergirl and Barry Allen.) Subsequently, that universe was rebooted, and the next two years saw Superman restarted at issue 1 and the publication of both Batman: Year One and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns . Since Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight series and Zack Snyder’s upcoming Man of Steel both take their cues from the post- Crisis DC universe, they don’t need a reboot, but not so the rest of the DC movie and television continuity. We know Darkseid is the villain of the Justice League movie, but that doesn’t mean his evil plan couldn’t have the happy result of willing the recent Green Lantern movie, and the old Wonder Woman and The Flash tv shows out of existence forever. A Crisis -inspired plot could give us new versions of those characters without the tedious need for any sort of origin-story movies. Just so long as Mark Hamill’s Trickster stays in the picture. 2. War of the Gods (1991) You know which character is unfairly ignored, despite frequent, abortive attempts to revive her onscreen? Wonder Woman . By far the DC superhero with the most potential for epic plots full of crazy mythology this side of Superman, Wonder Woman is an immortal demigod and the second most powerful active superhero in the DC universe. Too bad though, because instead of the terrifyingly powerful Amazonian princess we need, every attempt to bring Wonder Woman back ends up being some silly faux-feminist nonsense that manages more than anything else to infantilize the character. This is why of all the trepidations I have about Justice League , the most troubling is how she’ll be portrayed. Warner Bros. can fix this by basing the plot of Justice League on the War of the Gods crossover, which was created to celebrate Wonder Woman’s 50 th anniversary. That story had the ancient Roman gods go to war against the ancient Greek gods (which is kind of like the original cast of Beverly Hills 90210 starting a gang war with the cast of the CW’s 90210 ), while pantheons of other ancient cultures rose up and tried grabbing a piece of whatever was left. Wonder Woman and her fellow Amazonians of  Paradise Island end up having to save Earth, with some help from DC’s other heroes (including a Brainwashed Captain Marvel). Darksied, being the antagonist of DC’s New Gods, is the perfect behind-the-scenes manipulator to rile the old gods. And best of all, it gives Wonder Woman, criminally neglected in filmed-entertainment for almost 40 years, a chance to be front and center of Justice League  without it coming off as painful tokenism. 3. Hostess Snack Cake Wars Finally, we come to the greatest and the timeliest crisis for Warner Bros.’ Justice League to overcome: The horrifying shortage of Twinkies. From 1975 through the early ’80s, Hostess advertised heavily in the pages of Marvel and DC comics via a series of hilariously irresponsible short comics featuring each company’s superheroes and villains battling over control of — no, seriously — Hostess snack cakes. You can see the whole series of them here . Each adventure involved either some nefarious villain’s plot to steal or disrupt the supply of these delicious, obesity-causing confections — believe me, I know. #formerfatkid — or superheroes using Hostess cakes to foil criminal activity. No matter who lost, we won, however, because Vanilla Pudding Pies were the shit. Of course, now we know that if the average super villain was serious about destroying the supply of Hostess Ding Dongs and Twinkies, they should have gotten their MBA. So why not make this current event the basis of Justice League ? Have the ruler of Apokolips form an asset management company, buy Hostess, and loot it from the inside via perfectly legal tricks like destroying the employee fund. Thrill to the helplessness of the Justice League as they fail to convince a bankruptcy court that not only should Hostess employees get to keep their pensions, but that Darkseid is planning to destroy the universe. Darkseid could even run for president, citing his business acumen as proof of competence and rendering Superman painfully impotent as cable news channels constantly demand to see his Kryptonian birth certificate. Far-fetched? Hell yes, but no more so than the idea that unions are a force more evil than the Legion of Doom. So what would you like to see in the Justice League movie? Sound off in comments. Ross Lincoln is a LA-based freelance writer from Oklahoma with an unhealthy obsession with comics, movies, video games, ancient history, Gore Vidal, and wine.  READ MORE:  DC’s Competitive Darkseid? Reported ‘Justice League’ Villain Inspired ‘Avengers 2’ Bad Guy Follow Ross A. Lincoln on Twitter.  Follow Movieline on Twitter. 

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Darkseid And Ding Dongs − Three Radical Storylines For The ‘Justice League’ Movie

WATCH: Japanese ‘Iron Man 3’ Trailer Shows Stark Residence, Gwyneth Paltrow Getting Blowed Up Real Good

This Japanese Iron Man 3 trailer has surfaced, and though it doesn’t offer much in the way of new footage, you do get an added glimpse of Pepper Potts ( Gwyneth Paltrow ) getting blown back by the blast of the helicopter attack on Tony Stark’s U.S.S. Enterprise-like home. Although Movies.com points out that that Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige  recently went on record saying  Iron Man 3  isn’t so much a “serious” film as a serious exploration of Tony Stark’s character, I still think that based upon this new image and the shot of a tortured-looking Pepper in the last trailer,  the arc of Paltrow’s character is going to be crucial to the plot . There’s also that moment in the last trailer where Stark ( Robert Downey Jr .) says: “I hope I can protect the one thing I can’t live without.”  Even though his use of the word “thing” is unfortunate, you know that’s a speech about Pepper. Oh, and one last non-Pepper point:  Unless Marvel is trying to make Ben Kingsley’s indeterminately international   Mandarin character intentionally cheesy, it needs to lose that “Heroes–there is no such thing” line from future promotional clips. That’s dialogue more befitting of Austin Powers than Iron Man.  More on Iron Man 3:  ‘Iron Man 3′ Teaser-palooza! Trailer Foreshadows Pepper Potts’ Peril Marvel Studios Says Iron Man 3 Villain The Mandarin Isn’t Chinese, He’s International Marvel Unmasks New ‘Iron Man 3’ Images [ Movies.com ] Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.

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WATCH: Japanese ‘Iron Man 3’ Trailer Shows Stark Residence, Gwyneth Paltrow Getting Blowed Up Real Good

‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Should Be The Re-Hash Of Khan

I’m an outlier among other insufferable snobs on the Internet: I actually want Khan to be the villain of Star Trek Into Darkness . This isn’t because I desperately want the films to touch every base that the original series did. After nearly 30 years on television and 10 movies of highly uneven quality, the Star Trek universe prior to JJ Abrams’   Star Trek was suffering horribly from internal rot, not to mention a growing reliance on awful time travel plots and constant nods to series continuity. A fresh start was desperately needed if it was going to remain relevant, even if it came at — sniff — the expense of Captains Picard and Sisko*. But if Star Trek was a successful fresh start (and it was), it also brought with it some terrible baggage from the previous continuity, specifically the fact that its plot was motivated by the same time-travel bullshit that caused the TV universe to finally collapse under the weight of its own pretentions. Thank the founders that Abrams movie focused squarely on the Holy Trinity of Kirk, Spock, and Bones, or we would have noticed how awful Nero really was. But as we’ve already learned with Iron Man 2 , a successul sequel needs to do more than coast on the chemistry of its leads. With Kirk and co. firmly established, STID needs a strong conflict with high stakes, and a memorable villain (or at least a prime mover) connected to that conflict. To pull that off, you can’t force the audience to consult a Trek lore guide. Superturbonerd Trek Fans like me might want to see Harcourt Mudd, Cyrano Jones, Gary Mitchell, The Horta, or that horrible psychic kid played by Ron Howard’s brother but frankly, that’s inside baseball. Ask the legions of moviegoers for whom  for whom  Star Trek  is essentially  Kirk bangs space hotties-Spock lectures him about the logic of using a condom-Bones grumpily administers penicillin ,”the only villain they’ll recite from memory is Ricardo Montalban’s Khan Noonien Singh. Is that a problem? Only if you think that the Joker’s appearing in The Dark Knight was a problem. Iconic characters linger in the public memory for a reason, and that makes it easy for a skilled storyteller to take them and make them over into something later audiences can appreciate anew. Do it right and you can get away with anything, even making a horribly lame villain like Bane look bad-ass.  And for better or for worse, Khan is Kirk’s Joker. So milk that shit, I say. Use him well and firmly ground STID in its own past, and save less exploited territory for future sequels, when you’ve solidified the audience’s loyalty. But is Khan the villain of Star Trek Into Darkness ? Who the hell can tell? The new trailer certainly doesn’t want us to know for sure. But damned if it isn’t teasing the hell out of us. It’s already been confirmed that the villain will be canon. And now we know that whatever character is blessed with Benedict Cumberbatch’s crisp, Public School tones, he’s really angry and looking to exact some revenge – sorry, vengeance, which is way classier than mere revenge – on the people of Earth. That sounds like Khan to me! Unless Cyrano Jones is angry that the Klingons wiped out the Tribbles. There’s also the fact that the American trailer lacks one crucial scene present in the Japanese trailer (see it right before the end): a deliberate homage to the moment of Spock’s Death in Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan . Even if it’s just a dodge (something Abrams does very well,) the reference can’t be a coincidence. And if this means we get to see Cumberbatch doing is best Ricardo Montalban impression, that’s fine by me. Just so long as it doesn’t mean we have to endure another go at The Search For Spock . Some additional thoughts: -If you think it’s ridiculous that a lily-white Briton like Benedict Cumberbatch could even pretend to play an Indian, it’s worth noting that Gabrielle Anwar and Ben Kingsley both have Indian fathers. -Notice the ship rising out of the water? If it isn’t the SS botany Bay, I wonder if it’s the same starship we see crashing into the San Francisco Bay later in the trailer. -The interesting thing about the trailer is just how much of Earth we’re seeing in it. Star Trek was originally pitched as Wagon Train to the stars, but of course, the wagon train had to start somewhere. The original series and subsequent iterations barely feature earth as anything other than a reference. For all we know, the only thing people do back home is build more Enterprises. Also, whenever I watch a western, I always want a scene of what people are up to back in Boston or London. It’s interesting that in the space version, we’re getting exactly that. *Truth: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is inarguably the best series. YEAHISAIDIT. Read More:  ‘ Star Trek Into Darkness’ Explodes An Early Tease Star Trek 2  Gets A Title: Where Does It Rank In The Franchise? Ross Lincoln is a LA-based freelance writer from Oklahoma with an unhealthy obsession with comics, movies, video games, ancient history, Gore Vidal, and wine. Follow Ross A. Lincoln on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter. 

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‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Should Be The Re-Hash Of Khan

REVIEW: Psycho Killer, WTF? You Better Run, Run Away From ‘The Collection’

Strictly for auds who enjoy the grisly Grand Guignol spectacle of the Saw franchise but could do without the moral lectures and melodramatic mythology, The Collection is an energetic but utterly weightless exercise in slice-and-dice cinema. This sequel to 2009 chiller The Collector is in many ways bigger (more characters, more locations, more carnage), but in no way better than its predecessor. Theatrical is merely a pit-stop on the road to home viewing for a product with niche appeal even among horror buffs. Picking up where The Collector left off, The Collection establishes an anonymous urban locale terrorized by a psycho killer with no method to his madness. Without the luxury of the first film’s slow-burn opening act, the sequel leans on pre-existing iconography to build tension: the Collector’s black mask obscuring everything but his beady eyes and predatory mouth; the red trunk he uses to “collect” a lone survivor of each massacre; an ominous tripwire connected to something sharp and lethal. Once filmmakers (and Saw sequel alums) Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton hurriedly introduce new protagonist Elena (Emma Fitzpatrick), it’s off to the races for nonstop, nonsensical brutality. Elena and pals head to a secret underground club (the password is “nevermore,” natch) where the Collector waits in the shadows with a plan to orchestrate mass murder. In what should be one of the film’s standout setpieces, dozens of clubgoers are simultaneously slaughtered by a massive combine-harvester blade rigged to descend from the ceiling. But the sequence is little more than a jumble of frenetically cut-together closeups, and the first of many examples of the film’s “more is more” philosophy coming into conflict with the constraints of a low budget. While Elena is dragged off to the villain’s secret lair, the pic reintroduces the first film’s scrappy survivor, Arkin (Josh Stewart), who manages to break free only to be recruited by Elena’s mysterious protector, Lucello (Lee Tergesen). Lucello has assembled a team to hunt down the Collector and rescue Elena, and they need Arkin’s help. But this time he’s on the Collector’s home turf: The rundown Hotel Argento (wink, wink), a more elaborate version of the booby-trapped mansion from part one. If The Collector was inspired by the suspenseful setup of Wait Until Dark , Dunstan and Melton take their cues this time from one of the great genre sequels: James Cameron’s Aliens , with its team of tough-talking grunts navigating perilous terrain as they battle an unstoppable foe. Still, the raison d’etre remains gore, gore and more gore. There’s no attempt to explain how the Collector sets up his elaborate traps, and only the vaguest speculation as to what motivates his insatiable bloodlust, which could be frightening if his actions weren’t so preposterous. Performance and tech credits are adequate by genre standards, though the only imaginative contribution comes in the design of the Collector’s depraved displays of disemboweled victims and stitched-together body parts. He’s quite the interior decorator. Pic manages to end on a satisfying note that may or may not lead to a third installment. Perhaps the limited amount of title variations — The Collected “? The Collectors ? — will spare everyone the unnecessary trouble. Follow Movieline on Twitter. 

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REVIEW: Psycho Killer, WTF? You Better Run, Run Away From ‘The Collection’

Pure Comedy: Jamie Foxx Grabs Up Hosting Gig On SNL

Jamie’s getting back to his roots and he’ll have Ne-Yo alongside him as the musical guest star. Foxx is starring in Quentin Tarantino‘s upcoming film Django Unchained, which is coming out Christmas Day, and Ne-Yo’s R.E.D. dropped November 6th. The Oscar-award winner and Grammy-award winner will appear on the December 8th episode. Will you watch?? Images via tumblr

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Pure Comedy: Jamie Foxx Grabs Up Hosting Gig On SNL

POLL: Time For The Bald Truth − Who’s The Best Blofeld In The James Bond Franchise?

Almost as enduring as James Bond himself, Ernst Stavro Blofeld was a supervillain caricature even before Mike Myers turned him into Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels with a skull cap as Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers franchise. In his first two Bond film appearances, From Russia with Love and Thunderball, t he nefarious head of SPECTRE was shown only from the chest down as he stroked his  white cat and, like Darth Vader, required two — at the time, uncredited — actors to play him: Anthony Dawson handled the body portion of Blofeld while Eric Pohlmann provided the voice.  That changed in the 1967 Bond film You Only Live Twice when, in a dramatic reveal, Donald Pleasance became the initial face of Blofeld, although not for long.  The appropriately fiendish looking Telly Savalas played the villain in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service ; then Charles Gray took over in Diamonds Are Forever to play multiple Blofelds thanks to a plotline involving the creation of dastardly doppelgangers through plastic surgery.  (Cloning was not yet in vogue in the movies.) In the opening sequence of For Your Eyes Only , an uncredited character who is presumably Blofeld — the cat and the clothes certainly leave that impression — is finally dispatched by being dropped into a smokestack by Agent 007. As was the case with Blofeld’s first two cinematic appearances, he is portrayed by two actors: John Hollis (body) and Robert Rietty (voice). And yet, the baddie manages to make one more appearance in the independently produced Never Say Never Again, where he is played by Max Von Sydow. While you’re taking a break from trolling Bond chat rooms to see if Blofeld will return during the Daniel Craig era , vote for your favorite Blofeld. We’ve included even the minimal performances because we are completists at heart, and we know you are, too. If you haven’t voted for you favorite Bond movie, that poll is still open, too , and Craig’s debut turn in Casino Royale is currently winning. Take Our Poll Vote For Your Favorite Bond Movie Here . Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.

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POLL: Time For The Bald Truth − Who’s The Best Blofeld In The James Bond Franchise?

First Look at Russell Crowe As Noah in Darren Aronofsky’s Bad-Ass, Not-Strictly-Biblical Tale

This is not your mother’s Noah.  A first look at actor Russell Crowe as the grizzled title character in Darren Aronofsky’s Noah has surfaced, and it’s not what you’d expect.   As Movies.com reports , Crowe: “looks like a Mad Max out of the depths of time” and lives in a hostile world where “pity has no place.” Aronofsky’s film — which has an expected 2014 release date — does seem to jibe with the Biblical tale of Noah and his famous ark on one key point. According to Movies.com:  Noah “is subject to visions which announce the imminent end of the earth,” which will be devastated by “the waves of an endless deluge.” Fan boys take note: Judging from the graphic novel series, Noah, For The Cruelty of Men , that Aronofsky created with executive producer Ari Handel and artist Niko Henrichon to help sell the film, Crowe’s character will be doing battle with some monstrous creatures. Hitfix writer Drew McWeeny reports that Noah’s opponents will include “Watchers,” 11-foot fallen angels have no wings but six arms. McWeeny also revealed that Anthony Hopkins has been cast as Noah’s 900-year-old father Methuselah and that Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, Ray Winstone and Logan Leman will co-star.  George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic will provide the CGI movie magic. “This isn’t a historical period piece,” Movies.com writes. “Noah’s is a story that exists outside of what we know to be, which sounds almost like a Stephen King/ The Dark Tower , ‘the world has moved on’ type post-apocalyptic scenario. It may not even be Earthly, it’s all just a vehicle for the Noah metaphor”. Follow Frank DiGiacomo on Twitter. Follow Movieline on Twitter.

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First Look at Russell Crowe As Noah in Darren Aronofsky’s Bad-Ass, Not-Strictly-Biblical Tale

Keira Knightley Heads to Jack Ryan; Justin Theroux To Swear To God: Biz Break

Also in Friday afternoon’s round-up of news briefs, The Hunger Games gets a new Tribute. And remembering Oscar-winning Special Effects Artist Carlo Rambaldi and writer/actor David Rakoff. Keira Knightley Takes Lead in Jack Ryan Reboot Knightley will play the female lead in Kenneth Branagh’s Untitled Jack Ryan project. The actress is currently in talks to star as Jack Ryan’s wife, a role previously portrayed by Anne Archer, Gates McFadden, and Bridget Moynahan in previous installments of the franchise. Knightley joins Chris Pine, who’s long been attached to play the lead role, and Branagh, who in addition to directing will also star as the villain, THR reports . E. Roger Mitchell Boards The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Mitchell will play a Tribute from District 11 who previously won the 45th annual Hunger Games. The follow-up has past winners, including Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss participating in the “Quarter Qeull,” or the 75th anniversary Hunger Games, Deadline reports . Justin Theroux to Swear to God with Will Ferrell and Steve Carell Theroux will rewrite and direct Warner Bros. comedy Swear to God , starring Will Ferrell and Steve Carell. The story revolves around Ferrell who is a narcissistic hedge fund manager who believes he has seen God, Deadline reports . David Rakoff, Comic Essayist and Actor Dead at 47 His mother confirmed his death following a long battle with cancer. He described himself as a “New York writer” and a “Canadian writer” and a “mega Jewish writer.” He appeared in the Oscar-winning short The New Tenants (2009) which he also adapted. The New York Times reports with background from Wikipedia . E.T. Special Effects Artist Carlo Rambaldi Dead at 86 Rambaldi worked on more than 30 films and received two Oscars for E.T. (1982) and Alien (1979). He died in his southern Italian home following a long illness, The Washington Post reports .

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Keira Knightley Heads to Jack Ryan; Justin Theroux To Swear To God: Biz Break

Nicole Kidman Joins Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac; Paz Vega to Play Maria Callas in Grace of Monaco: Biz Break

Also in Thursday morning’s round-up of news briefs: Warner Bros passes the domestic $1 billion mark again. A Prometheus sequel is moving forward, Christopher Eccleston is a Marvel villain and Broadway to honor Gore Vidal. Nicole Kidman to Join Lars von Trier’s The Nymphomaniac Kidman revealed she’ll work a “few days” on Danish director Lars von Trier’s two-part The Nymphomaniac , which is set to star Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stellan Skarsgard and Willem Dafoe. She starred in the director’s Dogville , The Playlist reports via AlloCine . Warner Bros Passes $1 Billion at Domestic Box Office The milestone has been reached 12 years in a row, which makes Warner Bros. the only studio to have accomplished the feat. The Dark Knight Rises lead this year’s pack with $304M in its first 12 days. Also scoring well is Magic Mike ($108.5M), Deadline reports . Prometheus Sequel Planned by Ridley Scott Scott is moving ahead with plans for a sequel, his return to the Alien universe. His return to the genre after three decades grossed over $300 million worldwide from a budget of $130 million, The Guardian reports . Paz Vega Joins Grace of Monaco as Maria Callas Vega will play the haughty opera singer in the film, which stars Nicole Kidman as Grace Kelly. The director of Edith Piaf biopic La vie en rose , Olivier Dahan, will direct Grace of Monaco from a script by Arash Amel. The story centers on a six-month period in 1962 when Monaco had a dispute with France and Princess Grace worked behind the scenes to prevent a coup. THR reports . Christopher Eccleston to Play Thor 2 Villain Eccleston will star opposite Chris Hemsworth in the told of Malekith The Accursed in Marvel Studios’ Thor: The Dark World . Malekith is a “super-villain in the Marvel Universe, the ruler of the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim, Deadline reports . Broadway to Dim Lights in Memory of Gore Vidal Broadway theaters will dim their lights August 3rd in memory of Gore Vidal who died this week . His play The Best Man is currently playing at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theater. The cast is dedicating its performances next tweak to his memory, The Guardian reports .

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Nicole Kidman Joins Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac; Paz Vega to Play Maria Callas in Grace of Monaco: Biz Break

REVIEW: Ambitious, Thrilling ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Undermined By Hollow Vision

The Batman brand is in the toilet at the outset of The Dark Knight Rises , the third and most self-consciously ornate pillar of Christopher Nolan’s caped crusader resurrection trilogy. The four years since The Dark Knight have passed as eight within the city state of Gotham — one of the neater doublings in a movie inlaid with prismatic tiling — and even the mayor condemns Batman as “a murderous thug.” The late Harvey Dent, by contrast, has been canonized as a civic hero; something called the “Dent Act” has ushered in an era of safe streets and soft despotism. Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), meanwhile, is still heartbroken over the murder of Rachel Dawes and said to be peeing in Mason jars and polishing his curly fingernails in some shuttered wing of Wayne Manor. As a memorial for Dent drones and tinkles smugly on, the movie’s animating question flickers across Commissioner Gordon’s (Gary Oldman) face: Batman died for this ? The this at the heart of The Dark Knight Rises is a city whose predicament is conceived broadly enough to accommodate any number of thematic readings, but too hedged to explore any one of them well. In winding up at casual cross-purposes, the film’s perspective on governing power structures and mass psychology (to name only two) feel like Nolan playing ideological peek-a-boo. Despite heavy provocation, it’s a movie that can only supply embarrassment to those who look beyond the gleaming chaos and heroic suffering for meaning. What it amounts to is a frantic set of distractions from an uncommonly thrilling ride on the old Gotham express. Bruce Wayne’s first warning of what’s to come, and what’s happening beyond the manor gates — the Catwoman in the coalmine — arrives in the figure of a burglar named Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway, tart but sexless). Selina draws Bruce out of hiding — something a philanthropist on the clean energy tip played by Marion Cotillard couldn’t manage — and warns him of a coming storm that will level the elite and the commoner. When the faithful Alfred Pennyworth (Michael Caine) implores him to focus on deploying his dwindling resources and building a better (or any) personal life, Wayne takes it as a challenge to his alter ego’s honor and his failing body. Meanwhile, Commissioner Gordon is paying more attention to his gut than the crime statistics, and it’s telling him something is rotten in Gotham. What that might be is considered from several angles — computer chaos, corporate greed, social inequality, nuclear threat, economic terrorism—and we wait to see which will prevail. Nolan never quite chooses, though, opting for a little bit of each whenever it’s convenient. Bending over all of them, in an arc extended from The Dark Knight (there are even more direct connections to Batman Begins ), is the obsessive pursuit of Batman’s “true” identity. “The idea was to be a symbol,” Wayne sighs to a hotfooted cop played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. But there’s no place for symbols in a search-engined society; nothing so delicate can survive in cold, data-based climes. The city clamors for Batman, wanted for the death of their hero, on a plate: This Gotham seems destined for slow-motion self-destruction; our villain’s arrival is framed as more of a helping hand. They may have forsaken Batman, but the city’s need for viable symbols is borne out in the heavily spackled image of Dent, and, from his first appearance in the bravura prologue, the intransigent evil embodied by Tom Hardy’s Bane. “No one cared who I was until I put on the mask,” Bane gurgles (not true Tom Hardy! Not true!) in vocoder tones I’d put somewhere between Yoda post-testosterone patch and Sean Connery on appletinis. Batman’s comeback is hamstrung at every turn — by his vicious new opponent, by the police (led by Matthew Modine’s canine would-be commissioner), and by an app-loading tablet that the superhero considers in the universal stance of tech-befuddlement. Consigned, after a colossal ass-whipping, to a vaguely Arab hellmouth with handy cable news access, Wayne spends the middle chunk of the movie striving for the spiritual strength to escape in time to keep Bane from his plan to “feed the people hope to poison their souls” before blowing the whole city to pieces. A sub-tangle with nuclear power, which is framed as both the savior of the world and its destroyer, provides the movie’s ultimate double. But Bane’s motives are obscured too long and too provocatively to succeed in drawing us into the wildly nettled political revolution he comes to represent. We’re told his power derives from his fanatical belief — something a privileged playboy can’t buy — but in what? His is a psychology of convenience and comic-book dogma, which is only a problem insofar as the film insists he have a psychology at all. Bane’s proselytizing about social equality and death by moral complacency inspires real dread, but again Nolan isn’t prepared to stand behind the incendiary postures he strikes. There’s always an out, in this case the fact that Bane’s politics are just a theatrical prelude to less complicated darkness. Undeniable is Hardy’s menace: Less a man than a masculine experiment gone awry, he seems to be strutting naked even in boots and crust punk combat gear. What Bane is most clearly is a terrorist, from his vaguely plotted assault on Gotham’s stock exchange, to the fondness for human shields and Taliban-tinged sports stadium executions, to the plan not to rule or capture the city with a grand gesture but to wipe it out. Though it was filmed in several locations, including Pittsburgh, in this installment that island city is most obviously New York, from the glimpse of the scaffolded Freedom Tower to the crippled Brooklyn Bridge to the richies dragged out of their Fifth Avenue penthouses. If anything the pretense of Gotham adds a certain gratuitousness to the clear references — symbols pulled out of their context for sheer, emotion-zapping effect. Beyond that a scrappy city all its own emerges, where Batman is just another part of the steeply vertical landscape and it wouldn’t be all that odd to find him slugging it out in the streets, as in his climactic, cleanly drawn confrontation with Bane. Beginning with a thrilling underground, multi-vehicle chase and through a series of old fashioned brawls, Nolan, director of photography Wally Pfister and editor Lee Smith restore a baseline of coherence to the action that in some instances has the feeling of a many-paneled page, with levels and layers of action — a ka-pow over here, a thwack over there. If New York is Gotham’s most obvious touchstone this time out, the Windy City asserts itself in Nolan’s script (co-written with his brother Jonathan, working from a story by Nolan and David S. Goyer). The dialogue is inflated to regulation turgidity and then some. Hathaway does her best, but without Heath Ledger’s Joker there’s no one to let the air out now and then, which makes this week’s cinematic rendering of the apocalypse more terribly earnest but also more genuinely terrifying than most. Along with making the most prominent case for the continued relevance of the auteur theory, with this trilogy the British director reminds us that well-built brands never really die. Certainly one elegiac current running under the The Dark Knight Rises is that they don’t make them like Batman anymore, either in Gotham City or your local cineplex. During its more didactic lapses, episodes of shocking darkness and overwhelming density, you can practically make out the silhouette of Nolan looming behind the screen, appraising us with folded arms: Do they deserve this movie? Are we worthy of it? The Dark Knight aspires to the epic and reaches it on a number of impressive and less impressive levels. That it is a frequently, unnervingly glorious triumph of brawn over brains is not despite but in spite of Nolan’s admirably stubborn — if persistently, risibly serious — insistence that the modern superhero can have it all. Follow Michelle Orange on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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REVIEW: Ambitious, Thrilling ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Undermined By Hollow Vision