Tag Archives: better-or-worse

Hurricane Ilene, Earthquakes and Libya…..The Separation State of Humanity

Ever wonder what makes a Qaddafi?  Here’s a thought: It is exactly the same component in you and me that thinks I am better than person A and not as good as person B.  It is the deeply entrenched program and social training to be better than – and one up on – the next person, rather than simply to excel for its own sweet sake. Ever diss someone, or judge someone harshly? Ever diminish someone or have someone seek to diminish you?  Ever get seriously on your own case with “not good enough” about this or that? Underlying that behavior is the judgmental and separation program the culture has immersed you in since you were born.  It is a way of looking at the world that is NOT universal.  It is simply endemic in hierarchal societies – and unfortunately most of the earth’s human population lives in such societies. As I explain in detail in the Free Download here, the core of the mind training here is a sense of being separate from others – just like Mr. Qaddafi. What does this have to do with earthquakes and hurricanes?  Well, when you aren’t mentally and emotionally trained from birth in how to experience yourself as connected to the world and are instead trained in feeling separate from and either better or worse than others, you are automatically denied the experience of a startlingly different and healthier sense of reality.  This happens to include how you would view and relate to the natural world. We are not better or less than nature; we are in symbiotic connection with it.  And when you cannot “live” that truth, then what takes hold is the false human belief that nature does not react to the human species in a major way. Otherwise that false belief would be a thought your mind would never entertain.  In this other reality, there would be no Rick Perry’s or Sarah Palin’s denial of the human contribution to global warming (which has accelerated hurricanes) and even to earthquakes as we drain oil resources from the substrata, blow up the substrata by “fracking” for natural gas, dig deep wounds into the seabed, eliminate entire mountain ranges for mining purposes, and so forth.  Such denial would literally be unthinkable. Without judgmental and separation conditioning by the society, there would also be no wars, only collective thinking on how best to raise the quality of life for humanity without harming other species or each other. What a paradise, you say?  You bet…except that the gap to get there is immense and is the same that causes you to think person A is better or worse than person B – and causes Quaddifi to be Qaddafi , who is just a more extreme expression and example of that core separation mind training. How did that gap come about? The short version is that we innately very wise and sensitive human beings get diverted from our true selves by the nature of what we experience from childhood on. Few of us experience unconditional love, unconditional and open communications, and unfettered education in and permission for our feelings. Few of us are nurtured in a way that we retain the sense of connection with which we came in or in a manner that allows us to feel 100%  safe, fully seen and appreciated, and free to express ourselves, including our emotions. Instead, we deal with the shock of not getting this nurturing experience by developing the coping mechanisms I detailed in my earlier blogs and by developing a chattering,  judgmental mind infused in us by the society. We also develop strong negative emotions that look for outlets, such as venting on someone we judge against.  All this separates us from our real selves – and so we try to make up a “self.” Psychologists call this the creation of the “Idealized Self” – a picture of ourselves that we think will work in the world and which we form up roughly from the age of 3 up to teenage years. The deep and wrenching problem is that this false self – this “double” as they call it in  the East – is trained in competition between humans to be one up or one down – it is not trained in experiencing and creating connection. It is a purely reactive self-image that we want the world to salute – and beware if the world doesn’t. In fact, it somewhat does and at the same time most of us are busy jumping on other people’s cases and on our own and vice versa. Just think of how you behave in relationship when you think you’ve been slighted and you get a sense of how vulnerable you are when your self-image is challenged. This one-up, one-down stuff runs a huge amount of  human affairs. It accounts for much of our anxiety and all of our repression and societal rip-offs. The gangs on Wall St. who rigged the political and financial system at the expense of hundreds of millions of people around the world, love the top dog role all that money and power brings. They are completely separate from the consequences of their behavior –  basically disconnected in their mental realities. The bigger truth is that none of us get off lightly on the up-manship mentality. We clique up in HS with in and out groups. We huddle up ethnically and racially. We clique up politically and decide our team is better. We clique up over sports and as nation states – and God forbid a politician should suggest that the U.S. is not top dog, the absolute bestest and mostest and most innocent and most extraordinary do-gooding thing ever. As top dog we can justify bombing to death 2 or 3 million peasants in South Asia who don’t want us in their country, or destroying Iraq.  That disconnected mind set has no bounds.  The Nazis said the Germans were better than the Jews and, accordingly, had the right to mass murder them.  Many Jews and most Israelis say the Jews are better than the Palestinians and therefore the Jews have the right to steal Palestinian land by force of arms and brutally suppress any resistance. You get it. Just think of the groups or people you put over others – and then recognize that the very process of your doing so is and defines separation thinking. Out of that destructive way of framing the world, you get every form of poverty and oppression as the” winners” constitute themselves as separate from those below on the class and cash scale and manipulate the system to their advantage. Or maybe you just strive to be cooler than everyone else. This way of thinking has a profound effect on individual lives. It is at the root of disrupted lives, anger, depression, and dysfunctional behavior of every stripe. It creates social injustice. And it is the root  of the sense that your own life might not be working as well as you’d like.  Fact is it can’t work as well as you’d like unless you retrain yourself to live and express from your authentic self and not from your programmed, separated, Idealized Self. It is the work of Life Coaches like myself to train people to get their false selves (and their childhood training in creating disconnection) out of the way so they can experience the fullness and joy and true success of a connected life.  That leaves the only major question for any individual. When do I start? **** J ay Levin, the founder and former Editor-in Chief of the LA Weekly newspaper, has been a highly successful life and relationship coach and trainer for 12 years.  He recently made the core of his work available as classes in Life Rehab and Mastery and in Relationships. See  relationshipcounselingtoday.com Here is the original post: Hurricane Ilene, Earthquakes and Libya…..The Separation State of Humanity

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Hurricane Ilene, Earthquakes and Libya…..The Separation State of Humanity

Mark Zuckerberg Named Time Person of the Year

Mark Zuckerberg has beaten out an assortment of trapped miners, a group of bitter voters and a shady Internet activist for the title of Time’s Person of the Year. Handed out since 1927, this honor is described by the magazine as the individual who “has done the most to change the news, for better or worse.” Past recipients have ranged from Adolf Hitler to The Computer to Bill Clinton. Did Mark Zuckerberg have a greater societal impact

George Steinbrenner Dead at 80; Remember His Best Seinfeld Rant

George Steinbrenner, whose 37-year run as the principal owner of the New York Yankees transformed professional sports for better or worse, died this morning after suffering a massive heart attack. He was 80. More than just a shipbuilding magnate turned Major League oligarch, Steinbrenner also became a pop-culture monolith in fairly short order; his penchant for hiring and firing more managers in the ’70s and ’80s than most teams see in a half-century (including Billy Martin five times ) made him a polarizing figure in New York and beyond. And he could thank Seinfeld for at least some of that notoriety.

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George Steinbrenner Dead at 80; Remember His Best Seinfeld Rant

The Hills Recap: Celebrating 100 Episodes of Drama

Last night on The Hills, the crew marked 100 episodes of the MTV show with a trip to Costa Rica, which offered both incredible scenery and crazy hookups. It was a nice departure from the clubs and lunches we see in L.A., but make no mistake, this was still The Hills , for better or worse, just in a jungle setting. Here’s THG’s plus-minus recap of events … Immediately after landing, Kristin Cavallari speculates on who’s going to hook up on the trip. Plus 18 , because that’s all they do, and the reason for going. Kristin tells Stacie that Justin-Bobby is “the one” for Audrina Patridge , but Brody isn’t “the one” for her. Are you effin’ serious, cue card writers? Minus 7 . When Kristin kissed bartender Will, it irritated Brody Jenner, but didn’t get a real rise out of him. Plus 4 , as he reacted more like someone kissed his sister. We used to sort of root for Kristin and Brody Jenner to get back together, but after all this waffling, we’re pretty much over it… not unlike Brody. Minus 3 . Wait, were McKaela Line and Allie Lutz get invited? Sucks for them! Plus 7 . Charlie tells Justin-Bobby that he needs to make a move on Audrina. Not coerced by the producers at all . Even , because he does make a move, of sorts … You gotta love Justin-Bobby just walking by and randomly grabbing Audrina’s ass like the low-class waste of space that he is. Consistent, at least. Plus 7 . Kristin tells Stacie and Taylor (a.k.a. Sleazy T) she’s done with Brody after he embarrassed her in the bar. We’ll see how long that lasts this time. Minus 4 . Stephanie Pratt serves absolutely zero purpose on the show. Minus 5 . Wow, Brody and Justin-Bobby are actually really good surfers. Plus 4 . Seriously, WTF is Justin-Bobby wearing?! Who rocks a stocking cap and long sleeves in Costa Rica? Minus 8 for lowering the douchebag bar to new depths. After he invites her out, Kristin and Will dance together in the rain. Which actually does look really fun. We think we need to go to Costa Rica ASAP. Plus 10 . The Kristin-Will thing might seem cool or romantic, but we already know Brody doesn’t care, and she’s dating Hills cameraman Miguel Medina , so Minus 14 . Kristin and Will kiss. Maybe she’s got a future in acting? Plus 5 . J-B asks Audrina if she’ll ever come back to Costa Rica. She says, “Not with you.” OWNED, but Minus 4 anyway, since she’ll always crawl back to this loser. No Spencer and Heidi? Even on the 100th episode? Minus 16 , because as we’ve said before, the show needs Speidi, and didn’t even explain their absence. Lastly, Plus 8 to push us into positive territory. Why? While a shell of its former self, The Hills still has its moments, and has given us so many memories. TOTAL: +2 . SEASON: -12 .

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The Hills Recap: Celebrating 100 Episodes of Drama

BET Awards Fashion Face-Off: Fergie vs. Cassie

While Chris Brown’s BET Awards performance gets much of the attention, we can’t forget about the obligatory, morning-after-awards-show tradition at THG: Picking apart the night’s ridiculous fashion choices! Below, Fergie and Cassie go head-to-head in a clash of single-named titans. The Black Eyed Pea’s tailcoat dress raised some eyebrows, for better or worse. Cassie’s ensemble, meanwhile, defies description. Is that an ace bandage around her chest? That and the pleated pants really accentuate the half-shaved head, we have to admit. This could become a trend. Whose outfit looked better, fashion fanatics? Vote: Who looked better at the 2010 BET Awards?

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BET Awards Fashion Face-Off: Fergie vs. Cassie

Scoring Sunday’s Nuptials: Enjoy That Wedding Dress, Cause It’ll Never Fit You Again! [Altarcations]

For better or worse, in sickness and health, post-Pilates or post-pizza pigout: Phyllis Nefler will love you however you are. Unless you have more advanced degrees than bottles of wine in your fridge. Celebrate good times, come on! More

Megan Fox And Michael Bay: Our Five Favorite Moments

Now that Fox is out of ‘Transformers 3,’ we take a look at the duo’s salacious back-and-forth. By Eric Ditzian Photo: MTV News The months surrounding the summer 2009 release of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” were endlessly entertaining when it came to movie journalism. The world watched with fascination, horror, giggles and gasps as director Michael Bay and star Megan Fox went at each other. The duo slammed and defended each other and threw each other under the bus only to reach under and stage a PR rescue mission. Now, all that is behind us, as Fox has parted ways with the robot franchise , and the run-up to the release of “Transformers 3” in July 2011 promises to be significantly less titillating as a result. We’re not gonna lie — we’ll miss this salacious back-and-forth between two of Hollywood’s most entertaining personalities. That’s why we decided to take a lighthearted look back at our favorite moments from Fox and Bay’s creative partnership. I’m Terrible, He’s Terrible In the summer of 2007, Megan Fox was a little-known actress who had appeared in a handful of TV series and the forgettable Lindsay Lohan vehicle “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.” A year later, as “Transformers” stomped into theaters on its way to a $700 million worldwide gross, Fox was a superstar. You’d have thought she’d be pretty pleased about her breakout turn. Not so much. “I’m terrible in it,” she told Entertainment Weekly. “It’s my first real movie, and it’s not honest and not realistic. The movie wasn’t bad, I just wasn’t proud about what I did. … But unless you’re a seasoned veteran, working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience.” She’d go on to compare Bay to Napoleon and Hitler , call him a “nightmare to work for” and declare that he has “no social skills at all.” I Made You, I Can Unmake You Unsurprisingly, such statements didn’t sit well with Bay. The guy has made six movies that have grossed more than $100 million. Clearly, he knows what he’s doing. And he knows when his actors push things just a bit too far. “Well, that’s Megan Fox for you,” he told the Wall Street Journal. She says some very ridiculous things because she’s 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, ‘OK, Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it.’ … Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in ‘Transformers.’ I like to think that I’ve had some luck in building actors’ careers with my films.” She Just Can’t Quit Him Despite this war of words, Fox confessed to MTV News that she is “addicted” to making movies with Bay. It’s that sort of statement that makes you think that, behind all the heated press reports, the two shared a rewarding — if not fond — working relationship. “You get addicted to those big action movies,” Fox told us last summer. “You get addicted to the Bay-hem. You step away from it, and you’re relieved and you’re relaxed and you do something that’s quieter and you feel like you’re really working on it and you’re fleshing out and figuring things out. But then you sort of miss that abuse.” He Just Can’t Quit Her As the public nastiness between Bay and Fox was at its height, members of his “Transformers” crew posted an unauthorized open letter on his official website. The letter called Fox “queen of talking trailer trash,” dubbed her acting “cringe-able” and suggested she might have a future career as a porn star. Now it’s one thing if Bay himself speaks freely about his star, but he was not about to let others use his considerable platform to trash her. He promptly pulled the letter from his site and penned his own , one which again suggested the two really do respect each other. “I don’t condone the crew letter to Megan,” Bay wrote. “And I don’t condone Megan’s outlandish quotes. But her crazy quips are part of her crazy charm. The fact of the matter is, I still love working with her, and I know we still get along. I even expect more crazy quotes from her on ‘Transformers 3.’ ” That’s Just Meg and Mike Being Meg and Mike Such quotes, alas, are not to be. Much has been made of their feud in the past and much will be made in the future. But the key to their whole relationship just might be this: It’s not that they battle any more than any other director-and-actor duo in Hollywood; rather, they both happen to speak their minds in public, for better or worse. Fox and Bay are outspoken people, and that’s a big reason why their quotes always pop up in headlines. Boring or tightlipped creative types simply don’t made news. When it comes to Fox and Bay, that’s just how they roll. “Obviously, what he said is not untrue, about me saying ridiculous things all the time and being 23,” Fox told MTV News at Comic-Con last year. “That’s all accurate. Those are all things that he would say to me and has said to me. That’s actually one of the kindest things he’s said about me. I don’t feel like we’re in a war of words at all. That’s just me and Mike. That’s how we talk.” Will you miss Fox and Bay’s back-and-forth? Let us know in the comments! Check out everything we’ve got on “Transformers 3.” For breaking news, celebrity columns, humor and more — updated around the clock — visit MTVMoviesBlog.com . Related Videos MTV Rough Cut: Megan Fox Related Photos The Evolution Of: Megan Fox

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Megan Fox And Michael Bay: Our Five Favorite Moments

THG Artist of the Week: Mikey Wax

THG is excited to present our first-ever Artist of the Week. Readers, agents and music reps often contact our site and ask us to promote their friends or clients. We’ve always heard them out, but didn’t feel as though any of the recommendations were worthy of this feature… until now . Meet Mikey Wax. A New York native and Vanderbilt University graduate, Wax released his first album in November 2008. It debuted at number-46 on the iTunes U.S. top 100 pop albums chart. Since then, Wax has released a six-song EP (“For Better or Worse”) and opened for such acts as Howie Day, Ryan Cabrera, Graham Colton and Marcy Playground. His single “In Case I Go Again” was featured on an episode of The Ghost Whisperer last month. Wax also released his third CD in April 2010. You can actually download it for free at MikeyWax.com. We strongly urge readers to do so. Wax will be performing in Boston and Philadelphia this summer. He’s an artist on the rise, one people should keep their eyes (and ears, especially) on. Take a listen to “In Case I Go Again” below and see if you agree. In Case I Go Again

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THG Artist of the Week: Mikey Wax

Courtney Love Says She ‘Might Be A Bitch’

But she’s neither skinny, nor little, she says of her inspiration for lead single ‘Skinny Little Bitch.’ By James Montgomery Courtney Love Photo: MTV News The greatest thing (or, alternately, the saddest) about Hole ‘s “Skinny Little Bitch” — the growling, guttural first single off their Nobody’s Daughter album — is that it could have been written yesterday. Or five years ago. Or, as Courtney Love puts it: “I could’ve written it tomorrow.” That’s because, over the past few years, there’s been no shortage of skinny celebutantes parading through popular culture, and regretfully, the trend doesn’t show any signs of ebbing. Which is part of the reason Love (together with Hole guitarist Micko Larkin) wrote it in the first place. For better or worse, the subject matter appears to be timeless. “It just felt zeitgeist. It just felt right,” Love laughed during an interview with MTV News. “There are so many skinny little bitches doing so many bad things. It was like, remember when Paris Hilton used to say ‘That’s hot?’ … It was just the right phrase for the right time.” Not surprisingly, “Bitch” has already become a staple on modern rock radio, though that probably has as much to do with its sentiment as it does with its snarl &#8212 a buzz-saw wall of guitars, courtesy of Larkin, and Love’s unearthly wailing on the chorus. Quite frankly, though, it comes down to the current single itself. It’s a song that would have sounded equally at home on Hole’s 1999 album Celebrity Skin. And while, in recent years, Love has feuded with more than her fair share of skinny little things, she maintains that the titular “Bitch” she’s screaming about doesn’t actually exist. Not yet, anyway. “We haven’t found her yet,” Love said, with a laugh. “A lot of reviews have focused on whether the ‘Skinny Little Bitch’ is me, except I’ve only become skinny [in my 40s]. I only figured out how &#8212 when I’m stressed, instead of overeating, under-eating &#8212 in my 40s. And I’ve never been little. I’m 5’11”; there’s a lot of me. So I’m not really skinny, nor am I little. I might be a bitch though.” What are your thoughts on the first single from the Hole album? Tell us in the comments! Related Artists Hole Courtney Love

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Courtney Love Says She ‘Might Be A Bitch’

The Wackiest Moments in MMA History

As if Liddell in the buff wasn’t enough, here are eleven more unforgettable (for better or worse) moments in MMA history.

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The Wackiest Moments in MMA History