Tag Archives: Jessica Alba

Jenna Dewan Attempts The Jessica Alba Bikini Ass Pose

I don’t know who Jenna Dewan is, but here she is attempting the Jessica Alba Bikini Ass Pose . Her form is a little off but I’d be more than happy to help her work on the arch in her back. Call me.

Jessica Lowndes Is Kinda Good Looking

Saying that Jessica Lowndes is good looking is like saying that Gin & Tonics are delicious, it’s pretty much a no brainer. I don’t know much about her, other than that she’s on that show I don’t watch because I’m not a thirteen year old girl, but I’m impressed with her talents. She’s not exactly giving us the most revealing look at the goods, but I can tell that there’s a whole lot of goodness going on underneath that old lady shirt of hers.. Hot.

Claire vs. Jessica: Who’d You Rather?

Filed under: Claire Danes , Jessica Alba , Beauty Former TV stars turned film actresses Claire Danes , 31, and Jessica Alba , 29, got gussied up for the same fashion event in Paris on Wednesday. Question is … Read more

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Claire vs. Jessica: Who’d You Rather?

Jesus Does Playboy in Portugal of the Day

I figured these pictures were worth posting, not because my name is Jesus, but because I love seeing European countries being far more liberal and daring than America, the place marketed as “The Land of Opportunity” and the “Home of the Free”, when I just deal with nothing but oppression and religious groups dominating laws, media and pretty much everything that labels me a porn site, that prevents the iPAD from having porn apps, and a whole lot of other sexual shit, but at least you fuckers have guns to kill each other cuz you don’t cum enough…. So here is Jesus in Playboy in Portugal for the religious Christians who accidentally land on my site and draft hate mail about how I am going to hell to have another group to target….and for the people who broke free from a religious upbringing to masturbate to like the girl I knew who used to use her mom’s virgin Mary statue as a dildo…

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Jesus Does Playboy in Portugal of the Day

Jessica Alba at some Event of the Day

Here is Jessica Alba looking old and washed up because she is old and washed up…you know since she had a kid and is a mom and shit that she should have waited a decade before doing, but instead decided to throw away whatever jobs she had lined up as the hottest bitch in Hollywood, to be replaced by all the other sluts eager to get noticed who don’t have kids, and she did it all to trap a motherfucker and the whole thing depresses me, but if you look at this shit cross-eyed after a few drinks she looks almost like she did 5 years ago when she mattered. Pics via Bauer

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Jessica Alba at some Event of the Day

Does Horrible Bosses Break The Rule of Too Many Movie Stars?

Despite the fact that this was The Slowest News Day of 2010 v.2 , there was a bit of somewhat exciting trade news to pass along. The Kevin Spacey comeback tour has found a new stop: Horrible Bosses , the Strangers on a Train -like all-star comedy from director Seth Gordon. Spacey will play one of the titular bosses, alongside Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrell; line-cutting denier Jason Bateman , Jason Sudekis and Charlie Day will play the three friends conspiring to kill said bosses; Donald Sutherland will show up too; and Jamie Foxx appears as someone named “Motherf*cker Jones,” the man who helps the friends consummate their plot. Were Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Alba not available?

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Does Horrible Bosses Break The Rule of Too Many Movie Stars?

Jessica Alba’s Boring Hotness

Here’s Jessica Alba at the premiere or screening of some movie I’ve never heard of looking sexy in her little black dress. It’s nice to see her somewhat back to her old self, I’m sick of always seeing her in sensible shoes and jeans running errands like a typical mother. Boring. Not that these are so spectacular, but at least she’s wearing a dress. It’s something I guess. There weren’t any stairs around that we could get a picture of her walking up? Lame.

The Little Fockers Trailer: Robert De Niro Gets a Boner

Confession: The original Meet the Parents is still one of the funniest mainstream studio comedies to come around in the last 10 years. And the sequel — well, it was a sequel : Bigger — Barbara Streisand and Dustin Hoffman, come on down! — louder and in need of a cut. So what to make of film three in this unlikely billion dollar franchise? That depends on your tolerance for Viagra jokes.

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The Little Fockers Trailer: Robert De Niro Gets a Boner

Annalynne McCord Bikini Pictures And Wardrobe Malfunction

My crotch and I are extremely pleased to bring you these pictures of AnnaLynne McCord in her little bikini complete with an excellent nipple slip. You’re welcome. I’ve always said I wanted her to do more than just blow kisses to the camera, but I wasn’t expecting this at all. I would have just been happy with the bikini pictures. She’s not exactly blessed with the most ample of bosoms, but a nipple is a nipple and in life sometimes you just have to take what you can get. Like a fat chick at closing time. more pictures of Annalynne McCord here

‘The Killer Inside Me’: Cold Case, By Kurt Loder

Casey Affleck and Jessica Alba in a world beyond noir. Casey Affleck and Kate Hudson in “The Killer Inside Me” Photo: IFC Films Film noir has always been a nasty business, concerned as it is with obsession, betrayal, fate and murder. . In the golden age of noir, the 1940s and ’50s, the genre’s more rousing indelicacies had to be at least somewhat muted with euphemism and pictorial shorthand. But that sort of restraint is long gone, and now comes “The Killer Inside Me,” which might be the most graphically nasty noir ever made. In its blunt brutality, the movie seeks to be true to its source, Jim Thompson’s hardboiled 1952 novel (still a savage read). The protagonist is Lou Ford (Casey Affleck), a small-town lawman in late ’50s Texas. On the outside, Lou is a baby-faced straight arrow, polite and smiling and ready to kill any conversation with his witless chitchat. (“You know, they say haste makes waste.”) But Lou actually isn’t the dullard everyone assumes him to be. At home, in the big house he inherited from his father, he reads books, listens to opera, plays the piano and muses nostalgically over old porn photos. His exhausting small talk is simply a means of needling people he doesn’t like. Which would be everybody. Because deep inside, Lou is really a homicidal sociopath — the sort of criminal degenerate he’s nominally paid to put away. “The trouble with growing up in a small town,” he says early on, “is that everybody thinks they know who you are.” Nobody knows Lou Ford. Nobody still living, anyway. With its conniving characters and their small-time dreams, the story is purest noir. When the son of a local big shot becomes involved with a prostitute named Joyce Lakeland (Jessica Alba), Lou is assigned to chase her out of town. When Joyce proves defiant, Lou becomes aroused. He whips off his belt — and she becomes aroused. Soon Lou is stopping by for regular S&M sessions, and storm clouds begin to gather. Lou finds it imperative to commit a double homicide. He has rigged up an alibi, but the town union boss (Elias Koteas) — who knows a lot about Lou’s twisted past — and a newly arrived federal agent (Simon Baker) are both suspicious. Lou has to continue stacking up corpses in order to keep himself in the clear and his apple-pie sweetheart (Kate Hudson) in the dark. The movie is powerful (and muddled at the end), but the cast is the main reason to see it. Casey Affleck, with his air of whispery innocence, seems an unlikely choice to play the monstrous Ford; but he turns out to be perfect — coming from such an artfully recessive actor, Lou’s flaring rages are a shock; and Affleck’s soulless voice-overs lay bare the character’s interior rot. Alba and Hudson are both startlingly good too. Alba ventures beyond her normal range in playing a doomed slut with a heart of fool’s gold; and Hudson, a brunette here, is completely convincing as a ’50s good girl with gamey inclinations. (The scene in which she detects olfactory evidence that Lou has had sex with Joyce has to be some kind of first for such a star-powered production.) Director Michael Winterbottom has said that in bringing “The Killer Inside Me” to the screen, he wanted to bring with it the full lacerating violence of Jim Thompson’s novel. But violence on the page and violence in your face are of course two different things, and the ferocious beatings we watch being administered to some of the women in this film might have given pause to Thompson himself. The movie’s sadism certainly pushes the envelope, but who does the director intend to mail it to? (Dozens of people reportedly walked out of a screening of the picture at this year’s Berlin Film Festival.) The film’s pulped flesh and puddling blood break the noir spell — they leave us nothing to imagine. There’s no resonance, only impact. The murky moral depths of the film-noir world drain away under the movie’s merciless illumination. Don’t miss Kurt Loder’s reviews of “Cyrus” and “Jonah Hex.” Check out everything we’ve got on “The Killer Inside Me.” For breaking news, celebrity columns, humor and more — updated around the clock — visit MTVMoviesBlog.com .

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‘The Killer Inside Me’: Cold Case, By Kurt Loder