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Russell Brand At Movie Awards: His Nine Funniest Jokes

From Twilight to Teen Mom, no pop-culture stone was left unturned. By Terri Schwartz Russell Brand hosts the 2012 MTV Movie Awards Photo: Kevin Winter/ Getty Images UNIVERSAL CITY, California — Russell Brand might have to host every MTV awards show from here on out! The 2012 MTV Movie Awards were immediately off to a good start thanks to Brand’s , and he kept the jokes rolling throughout the rest of the two-hour-long show. In honor of Brand’s sharp witticisms, we’ve put together a list of his nine best jokes that kept us laughing long after he finished telling them. Twilight! Hunger Games! When Brand first walked out onto the Movie Awards stage and started yelling, ” Twilight! Hunger Games!” we figured he was off Andy Samberg. Instead, as he said later in the monologue, he was using them because “these words generate goodwill.” They certainly did, as he used them repeatedly over the course of the night. It’s the End of the World as We Know It “Tonight is an important ceremony because according to the Mayans, the world will end in December this year,” Brand pointed out. “If Earth hurtles into the sun and humanity is destroyed, we will all say as one: We had the MTV Movie Awards 2012 and it was worth it! ” Yes we can, and yes we will. Justin Bieber Is the Man The first pop-culturally relevant moment Brand brought up in his opening monologue was Justin Bieber’s recent attack on a member of the paparazzi. “Justin Bieber beat up a paparazzi. Well done, Justin!” he said. Brand went on to say that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to hit Biebs if he fought him because the 18-year-old is “so pretty” that “even if he was attacking me, I think I would do a little orgasm.” Well, to each his own. Kann-Yay and Kim Brand was quick to thank Kim Kardashian for making his short-lived marriage to Katy Perry not seem so bad in the scheme of things, but he then went on to beg the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star and her new boyfriend Kanye West — whose first name he repeatedly mispronounced ” Kann -Yay” — to make a sex tape. “I think of Kim Kardashian as the Stanley Kubrick of sex tapes,” Brand said. “They’re always brilliant, but he only does one a decade.” Brand’s Special “Grease” Tribute Nothing was off limits during the Movie Awards, not even John Travolta’s recent sex scandal . After saying that “Rock of Ages” is the best movie since “Grease,” Brand said he honored that film by giving Travolta a massage. “He needed it, man. He was so stiff, I’m telling ya!” Brand said. Michael Fassbender and His Penis He claimed he never noticed Fassbender’s “huge, engorged talent as I was staring at his massive co–.” That must have been why he decided the “Prometheus” star was going to be the next celebrity he married following hosting an MTV awards show. Sorry, Katy! Taking Advantage of Charlie Sheen’s Old Addictions Charlie Sheen was a great sport during Brand’s opening monologue, especially since the Brit repeatedly took jabs at the “Anger Management” star’s recent problems. “I’ve taped a bottle of Hennessy and a gram of coke under your chair. In case I start going crazy, just nick it and do a couple of lines. Release the tiger blood hero!” Brand said to resounding laughter. Our New Host: Julianne Hough’s Nephew One of the best parts of the night came when a behind-the-scenes shot showed Brand coaching Julianne Hough’s nephew and date for the night to replace him as host. According to Brand, all you need to do to be a great Movie Awards host is talk about farts a lot . And the cutest part is that it was all improvised “! “Teen Mom” Vs. “Teen Wolf” As you probably realized once the 2012 MTV Movie Awards wrapped, the show wasn’t followed by “Teen Mom,” but rather by the season-two premiere of “Teen Wolf.” Whoops! We can’t tell if his gibes at “Teen Mom” instead of “Wolf” were intentional or a mistake, but we still can’t get over his joke, “Do stay tuned after the show for the new season of Teen Mom, where pregnant women are laughed at for money!” Jaw-dropping, heart-pounding, gut-busting moments galore. See what just happened at the 21st annual MTV Movie Awards ! Related Videos 2012 Movie Awards: Most Talked-About Moments Related Photos 2012 Movie Awards: Show Highlights

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Russell Brand At Movie Awards: His Nine Funniest Jokes

Charlie Sheen: Out of Control, Partying Like a Madman With Porn Stars Again, Friends Say

Stop us if you’ve heard this one. Charlie Sheen has been on a booze-and-drug-fueled bender since he wrapped Anger Management last month, a source close to the warlock said. The 46-year-old is again partying with “a gaggle of adult film stars” – and for a time, ex-wife Brooke Mueller – at his Mulholland Estates mansion. Mueller is back in rehab . So out-of-control is Charlie now that some of his closest confidantes have begged him to join her there to treat his addictions. Not surprisingly, he dismisses that idea. “Yes, Charlie is partying,” a source says. “He doesn’t want to stop. In his eyes, he thinks, ‘I’m having fun, so what?’ The show has wrapped.” “But it is a problem… a major problem. He has alienated his kids and commitments and is effectively locking himself up in a house with women.” “Even people at Charlie’s house are trying to talk sense into him. He needs help, but he wants nothing to do with it. His rage is coming back.” Asked for comment, Sheen, via his rep, told Celebuzz to “ consider the source .” In a May 18 Tweet, Sheen – whose new series on FX premieres June 28, wrote : “Done w/ #AngerManagement 1st 10… so this weekend will be epic!” And the one after, and the one after that, and … [Photo: WENN.com]

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Charlie Sheen: Out of Control, Partying Like a Madman With Porn Stars Again, Friends Say

REVIEW: Amiable Cast Makes The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Worth a Visit

As mild, comforting and vaguely colonial as beans on toast, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel brings together some of Britain’s top-shelf acting treasures for a story of late-life awakenings and self-discovery in India. Directed by John Madden (of Shakespeare in Love and, more recently, The Debt ), the film is, underneath its surface of warm fuzzies, a precision instrument aimed directly at the heart of its intended, underserved older audience. As predictable a path as it follows, it delivers exactly what it sets out to — a feel-good tale with equal portions of romance, tempered melancholy, transformation and low-key fish-out-of-water humor. And if the mechanics at work here are more than obvious, they’re also a fair price to pay for getting to see Bill Nighy joke with Judi Dench about his inability to fix a telephone, Maggie Smith force down local food in order to be polite, Tom Wilkinson join in a game of pickup cricket and Penelope Wilton look terrified during a tuk-tuk ride. The seven retirees in the main ensemble end up in Jaipur, enticed by marketing materials for a hotel “for the elderly and beautiful” that turn out to be more aspirational than actual. The place is run-down, some of the rooms don’t have doors and others have been taken over by wildlife — the manager Sonny (an aggressively animated Dev Patel) has unquashable enthusiasm but not particular skill for running a place or raising money to make much-needed fixes. Fortunately for him, most of his guests can’t afford to leave — they’ve outsourced their retirement to India rather than face living the rest of their lives tucked away or lauded as if they had already died. Housewife Evelyn (Dench) is there because the husband she always trusted to take care of things has passed away and left her in debt, forcing her to sell the apartment in which they lived. Douglas (Nighy) and his wife of almost 40 years Jean (Penelope Wilton) invested their savings in their daughter’s internet startup (the mystery of the online world to these characters is a recurring joke) — she’s been unable to pay them back, forcing them to either move to a depressing senior citizens community or out of the country entirely. Madge (Celia Imrie) and Norman (Ronald Pickup) are looking for love or, barring that, to get laid — they’re both anxious to prove to themselves that that part of their lives isn’t over. Muriel (Maggie Smith) is a former housekeeper who’s reluctantly left England in order to avoid a long wait for a hip replacement surgery. And Tom Wilkinson is Graham, a high court judge who’s gay (“nowadays more in theory than in practice,” he explains) and has returned to the place in which he grew up to track down his first love. Add to this Sonny’s attempts to date call-center worker Sunaina (Tena Desae) despite his mother’s (Lillete Dubey) desire to arrange his marriage to someone else and have him give up the hotel, and you have enough plot threads to easily carry the film through its unhurried two-hour runtime. And most of them work — Nighy and Dench are especially luminous playing explorers of the city who fall in love with India and with the renewed sense of possibility in their lives, their reserve giving way to tentative but genuine joy and an unexpected connection. Wilkinson is so disarmingly self-deprecating as Graham that it takes a while to realize that the confessions he’s making to his new friends are the most open he’s been in his life. Smith operates with the same glorious crabbiness she’s perfected in her recent roles, though the film’s attempt to treat her first as adorably racist and then as a uniting figure thanks to her transformative friendship with a maid is impossible to swallow even with her enjoyable performance. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel portrays the city in which it’s set as chaotic, colorful and lively, but also ultimately a backdrop — this is not a film about India, it’s one about growing old in a terribly British fashion. “Can we be blamed for feeling that we are too old to change?” Evelyn muses in one of her blog posts that in voiceover periodically mark the story. While we in the audience have always known that’s not the case — that’s why we’re watching the film — the pleasure is in watching the characters on screen realize the fact themselves, to their delight. Follow Alison Willmore on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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REVIEW: Amiable Cast Makes The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Worth a Visit

Jonah Hill Joins Wolf, Dustin Hoffman Joins Weinsteins, Cannes Addition: Biz Break

Movieline joins music and film fans in mourning the death of Adam Yauch – a.k.a. MCA, one-third of rap legends the Beastie Boys, influential filmmaker and music-video director, and founder of independent-film distributor Oscilloscope Laboratories. In other film news, Friday afternoon’s Biz Break includes rundowns on Jonah Hill’s collaboration with Martin Scorsese, Cannes’ new addition to its official selection, Dustin Hoffman’s directorial debut, and UTA’s failed bid for a Beverly Hills street name. The Weinstein Company Nabs Rights To Dustin Hoffman’s Directorial Debut TWC will take U.S. and Latin American rights to Dustin Hoffman’s comedy Quartet from HanWay Films. Starring Maggie Smith, Billy Connolly, Michael Gambon and Pauline Collins, the film revolves around a home for retired opera singers. Each year Reggie, Wilf and Cissy stage a concert to raise funds for the home, but Reggie’s ex-wife shows up, creating tension and playing the diva. Cannes Adds Le Serment de Tobrouk to Roster The festival will add Bernard-Henri Levy’s Le Serment de Tobrouk ( The Oath of Tobruk ) to its Official Selection and will screen May 25. Made during the eight-month conflict that ended Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi’s dictatorship, the film traces the unfolding of that unusual war. Four key figures from the Libyan revolution will attend the screening. From around the ‘net… Jonah Hill to Star with Leo in Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street The recent Moneyball Oscar-nominee will star along with Leonardo DiCaprio in the adaptation of Jordan Belfort’s memoir about hard-partying, dramatic rise and fall on Wall Street. Boardwalk Empire creator Terence Winter wrote the script, Deadline reports . After Adam Yauch’s Death, Oscilloscope Reverses Management Change After announcing he will leave his top management position at Oscilloscope which he co-founded with Adam Yauch four years ago, David Fenkel will remain involved in running the company, a spokesperson told The Wrap. Fox Renames Neighborhood Watch Movie in Florida Shooting Aftermath Now re-named The Watch , 20th Century Fox wanted to avoid any association with the tragic shooting of teen Trayvon Martin in Florida earlier this year, Deadline reports . UTA Ends Pursuit of Beverly Hills Street Name at New H.Q. The talent agency expected Beverly Hills would approve United Talent Agency Drive street signs near the company’s new headquarters at its new 120,000 square foot offices off Civic Center Drive, THR reports .

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Jonah Hill Joins Wolf, Dustin Hoffman Joins Weinsteins, Cannes Addition: Biz Break

Dior ‘Secret Garden’ – Versailles, A film by Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin starring Daria Strokous

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Christian Dior Beauty Film Model: Daria Strokous Directors: Inez van Lamsweerde & Vindoodh Matadin Styling: Caryne Cerf de Dudzeele Hair: Duffy Make-up: Lisa Butler Music by Depeche Mode: ‘Enjoy the Silence’ watch the film on YouTube watch the film on Dior.com Broadcasting platform : YouTube Source : Women Management Discovery Date : 02/05/2012 22:02 Number of articles : 3

Dior ‘Secret Garden’ – Versailles, A film by Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin starring Daria Strokous

Pauly D Joins NKOTBSB, The Wanted For MixTape Fest

Kelly Clarkson, The Fray and LL Cool J also on tap for inaugural summer music festival at Pennsylvania’s Hershey Park. By Jocelyn Vena Pauly D Photo: Getty Images Hey, pop fans: Hankering to party at your own summer music festival? Well, the spankin’ new MixTape Fest has your back. The festival, set to take place August 17-18 at Hershey Park in Pennsylvania, will bring together an interesting array of artists ranging from old-school acts like LL Cool J to newbies the Wanted. Over two days and two stages, nine artists are set to perform. This marks the first year of the festival. The Friday show will include performances from Kelly Clarkson, The Fray (both acts will also be on their own tour at the same time), New Kids on the Block, DJ Pauly D and Steel Panther. NKOTBSB, LL Cool J featuring Z Trip, the Wanted and the Dan Band all will take the stage for the Saturday show. According to a press release, this will be the only North American date for boy-band mega-group NKOTBSB after they wrap up a tour abroad. “It’s an honor for us to be a part of the inaugural year of MixTape,” New Kids on the Block said in a statement about the festivities. “To share the stage with such mega-artists as Kelly Clarkson, LL Cool J and the Fray is really exciting. “With the artist selection, and all of the amenities and accommodations offered, this festival is raising the bar to the next level. We couldn’t think of a better way to spend our weekend than with our amazing fans, and there couldn’t be a better setting than such a fun-filled festival with such an amazing bill of artists.” Tickets will go on sale April 27. More information about the festival can be found on the MixTape Fest 2012 official website . Related Artists The Wanted NKOTBSB

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Pauly D Joins NKOTBSB, The Wanted For MixTape Fest

One Direction’s Harry Styles And Taylor Swift Are ‘Friends’

In an interview with an Australian newspaper, Styles addresses romance rumors and Zayn Malik assures fans, ‘We’re not changing our name.’ By Jocelyn Vena Harry Styles and Taylor Swift Photo: Getty Images Are they, or aren’t they? One Direction’s Harry Styles is addressing rumors that he and Taylor Swift are in a budding romance. Last week, it was rumored that Swift had shared told pal Justin Bieber that she was crushing on the One Direction singer after meeting him at the Kids’ Choice Awards last month. From there, fans began to wonder if the twosome could be music’s next great power couple. Well, it might be a little longer before things heat up between them. Styles confirmed in an interview with an Australian newspaper that while they exchanged numbers and have been texting, nothing else is happening. “We met in America, she’s very nice, yes,” he told the Herald Sun . “She is very talented… She’s very nice… We’re friends.” Swift is one of many girls that Styles has been linked to since coming Stateside to promote the band’s chart-topping album, Up All Night. Other rumored girlfriends include American singer Lily Halpern, New York-based photographer Sarah-Louise Colivet and former “Bachelorette” Jillian Harris. It’s not just the band’s romantic entanglements that are making news these days. In the same interview, Zayn Malik also addressed concerns regarding a lawsuit regarding One Direction’s name . The band and their management, Simon Cowell’s Syco Entertainment and Sony Music, was sued by a U.S. band with the same name. “We’re not changing our name,” Malik assured fans, who certainly had many suggestions for the fivesome . “We don’t know what’s going to happen but we’re not changing our name.” Do you think Taylor Swift and Harry Styles are more than friends? Leave your comment below! Related Videos MTV News Extended Play: One Direction Related Artists One Direction Taylor Swift

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One Direction’s Harry Styles And Taylor Swift Are ‘Friends’

Pay Up: Twista Sued For Bodyguard’s Death In Tragic 2004 Tour Bus Crash

Do the right thing Twist! Twista , his record labels, and promoters are all being sued for the death of a bodyguard, Arthur “Butch” Nixon, who passed away following a tour bus crash in 2004. His family recently filed the suit that claims Twista’s cousin, Otis Bankhead, should not have been allowed to drive the bus: The family of a bodyguard who was killed in a 2004 tour bus crash is suing Chicago-based rapper Twista and his management companies. Arthur “Butch” Dixon, 45, died of multiple blunt force trauma injuries in a rollover crash in Pennsylvania after the driver, Twista’s cousin, Otis Bankhead, fell asleep at the wheel as Twista and his entourage returned to Chicago from a concert in New York. Dixon, an accomplished jazz pianist and son of legendary bluesman Willie Dixon, and all the other passengers were thrown from the customized van. The lawsuit states Bankhead had a history of driving violations and his license was suspended at the time of the crash. The lawsuit mirrors one filed just two years after the crash, which lawyers for Dixon’s wife and three children dropped last year. The suit claims Twista, whose real name is Carl Mitchell, as well as his record label and promoters should have barred Bankhead from driving. While it is incredibly sad that he lost his life, it seems like they waited a long time to file this suit. Source More On Bossip! Don’t Be Ashamed: A Gallery Of Women That Men Are Embarrassed To Admit They’d Chop Down Shook Ones:The Dumbest Celebrity Lies Of All Time Billionaire Beach Bums: BeyBey And Hov Lay Out In St. Barths, First Swimsuit Pictures Since Birth Of Blue Ivy! On The Party Scene: Busty Bangers Sheneka Adams, Erica Mena, And Natalie Nunn Let It All Hang Out In ATL [Photos]

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Pay Up: Twista Sued For Bodyguard’s Death In Tragic 2004 Tour Bus Crash

Florence Welch Inspired By Evil Queen Ravenna For ‘Snow White’ Track

Welch says she got a lot of material for ‘Breath of Life’ from Charlize Theron’s beautifully wicked character. By James Montgomery Florence Welch Photo: Samir Hussein/ Redferns When Florence Welch was asked to write a song for the upcoming “Snow White and the Huntsman” soundtrack, she was given the opportunity to watch a select few scenes from the film itself … and almost automatically, she found herself drawing inspiration from a rather unlikely source: Namely, Charlize Theron’s wicked Queen Ravenna. “The Queen is just this incredible character; so hungry for life but so dead inside. She’s sort of eternal, but inside there’s nothing. She’s kind of like charcoal or something,” Welch told MTV News on Thursday (March 29). “[There are] these amazing scenes where she’s kind of picking out birds’ hearts and eating them. [She has] this thirst for youth and for life, but for what kind of life? This darkness, but she’s so beautiful, so it’s this kind of juxtaposition between beauty and, ultimately, death.” So, in a bit of a, uh, non-traditional move, Welch ended up writing a song called “Breath of Life,” which is sung very much from the perspective of the Queen herself (“I got a lot of material from her!” she laughed. “Beauty, death, life … it was pushing all of my buttons.”) So you can imagine her surprise when, after submitting the song, she found herself sitting in London’s Abbey Road studio, watching it all come together under the care of famed composer James Newton Howard. “We went in and demoed the track, these big, clattering drums, huge bass sounds and everything was very intense … and then we sent that to the guys in L.A. who composed it. And it was amazing to see the music we played being turned into this amazing orchestral thing,” Welch laughed. “You feel in a bit of a way like you’re kind of making it up as you go along, and then when you see it done, laid out before you in such a beautiful, orchestral fashion, it’s really incredible. And then we all went into Abbey Road and it was one of the best days of my life; I love choirs and I love choral music, and there was a 60-piece choir singing the vocal parts that I had written. When the baritones came in, I nearly wept, it was so emotional.” And thanks to all that, in a still-growing career that’s seemingly one highlight after the next, Welch said that writing and recording “Breath” was perhaps her favorite moment to date. Even if the whole 60-member choir thing did give her management team palpitations. “My manager was looking at me going ‘Do not get used to this. We cannot afford this 60-piece choir!’ ” she laughed. “It was just wonderful. Me and Isa [Summers, Welch’s Machine partner, and co-writer of the track] were in there, these young women who made music for love, but with not much money or much reason. … It was a really proud day for us. And, musically, for the composers at Universal to have understood the song and see it played out so beautifully, it was an amazing day. We felt a bit proper.” Who else do you hope to hear on the “Snow White and the Huntsman” soundtrack? Leave your pick in the comments section below! Related Photos Snow White And The Huntsman Related Artists Florence Welch

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Florence Welch Inspired By Evil Queen Ravenna For ‘Snow White’ Track

Weinsteins Piggyback on Smash to Expand My Week With Marilyn

With its soapy survey of a Broadway musical about Marilyn Monroe, the new NBC potboiler Smash is clinging to reasonably good ratings since launching last week. And now The Weinstein Company, never one to miss an opportunity, has discreetly hitched its double Oscar nominee My Week With Marilyn to Smash ‘s own (alleged) Marilyn-fueled momentum. There’s the obvious Oscarcast factor as well, but the implications in this note just over the ML transom are clear enough: The Weinstein Company announced today that they are expanding MY WEEK WITH MARILYN into 600 theaters nationwide. This will give audiences a chance to see for the first time or revisit the film in theaters in advance of the awards. MY WEEK WITH MARILYN garnered two Academy Award Nominations for Michelle Williams, Best Actress, and Kenneth Branagh, Best Supporting Actor. Audiences are again embracing Marilyn Monroe with the success of the film and now the small screen hit, SMASH. MY WEEK WITH MARILYN is currently in select theaters and will be expanding on February 24th. A little desperate, sure, but at least it beats ” WHAT MOVIE REPRESENTS THE THING THAT HAPPENED IN CINEMA THIS YEAR? ” You’ve come a long-ish way, Harvey. Follow S.T. VanAirsdale on Twitter . Follow Movieline on Twitter .

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Weinsteins Piggyback on Smash to Expand My Week With Marilyn