We don’t want you to get all misty-eyed (or to need a tissue for any other reason, for that matter), but take a second and reflect on the Paris Hilton sex tape . Was she the first person to record herself having sex? Of course not! Dudes have been sharing their sexual conquests with the world since the days of cave paintings. Yes, porn had been around for a long time before One Night in Paris was released in 2004, but Paris changed the game when she ushered in the era of the celebrity sex tape. Without Paris there would be no Kim Kardashian sex tape . There might not even be a Farrah Abraham porn disguised as a sex tape. So when Paris decides she wants to be a sex symbol again, the least we can do is give her a few seconds of our time: Paris Hilton: Orgasms in Front of Crowd Yes, that’s Paris pulling a When Harry Met Sally on stage at her cousin’s bachelorette party. Who knew she had any acting talent? We can’t help but feel a bit bad for the many, many dudes that have been with Paris in the past. After that performance they must be wondering if she’s been faking it for years. Look, we kid Paris because we love her. Kim Kardashian and Nicole Richie have settled down and popped out some kids, but Ms. Hilton is still posting sexy selfies and keeping the party going well into her 30s. Vive la Paris! 33 Photos of Paris Hilton From When She Used To Be Famous 1. Paris Hilton Mug Shot View Photo Paris Hilton hasn’t been famous for a long time. But she hasn’t been arrested in years, either! 2. Hated Hilton View Photo Seconds before this photo was snapped, Paris Hilton was spotted alongside Brittany Flickinger. Looks like Paris was too quick for her supposed new best friend, however. 3. Paris Hilton Image View Photo Want a whiff of Fairy Dust? That’s the name of Paris Hilton’s new fragrance. 4. Hi, Paris! View Photo Paris Hilton waves to a series of adoring fans. The heiress introduced a new perfume at the event, “Fairy Dust.” Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 5. Paris Presents View Photo Paris Hilton introduces her new fragrance “Fairy Dust” to various fans at the Macy’s Woodbridge Center Mall in Woodbridge, New Jersey. We can’t explain why anybody cared about this. 6. Fairy Dust Maker View Photo Paris Hilton is proud to present her new fragrance, Fairy Dust. The socialite premiered the perfume in the fall of 2008. 7. Paris Photo View Photo Poor Paris Hilton, folks. The talentless socialite says all guys use her for money and sex. Maybe if she stopped flaunting those things, she’d find Mr. Right. 8. Surprising Cleavage Alert! View Photo This just in: Paris Hilton has cleavage! Who knew?!? The talentless, law-breaking socialite is seen here, showing off her decent-sized breasts as she exits a vehicle. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 9. Paris Hilton Nude Photo View Photo Paris Hilton is half-naked in this photo from GQ Russia. The thin socialite thinks she’s being seductive, but we think she’s just being ugly. What do you think of this pose? 10. Naked Paris Hilton View Photo A naked Paris Hilton graces the cover of GQ. Stupid GQ. That is cruelty to animals right there. Imagine how many STD tests that poor fluffy bear is gonna need after being all up on Paris Hilton naked. Sheesh. 11. Paris Hilton Pussy View Photo Paris Hilton is nicely shaved down… there. Is she in Brazil or Hawaii??? How’s it look, Paris? 12. Paris in Malibu View Photo Paris Hilton is a changed woman. Can’t you tell, by this picture of her in Malibu? Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 13. Brittany and Paris Pic View Photo Brittany Flickinger and Paris Hilton are totally Best Friends Forever. Can’t you tell, by how they are always photographed together? 14. Paris Rolls in Style View Photo Paris Hilton and BFF Brittany Flickinger arrive for an important shopping trip. 15. Paris Hilton, Pink Bentley View Photo Paris Hilton’s pink car is almost as wasteful and gnarly looking as she is. Hey, it’s only fitting. 16. Dead Serious View Photo Smile, Paris Hilton! The socialite looks less-than-happy to be at a Dolce & Gabbana store in Beverly Hills. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 17. Very Plastic Paris View Photo As usual, Paris Hilton looks nice and plastic in this photo. It was taken from the opening of a Dolce & Gabbana store in Beverly Hills. 18. Tokyo Slut View Photo Sorry… that’s an insult to Tokyo. Paris Hilton just happened to be there. The city did not make her a slut. The slut merely went to the city in question. 19. Sad Paris View Photo Why so sad, Paris Hilton? The heiress doesn’t look pleased to be at the club Butter in celebration of her 28th birthday. 20. Paris and Aubrey View Photo Paris Hilton showed her support for Aubrey O’Day at a party thrown by Playboy in the latter’s honor. We wonder if these two said a word to each other all night. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 21. Ready to Party View Photo Let’s go party! Paris Hilton heads out of her hotel and seeks a night club in England. Girl must get her groove on. 22. Paris Down Under View Photo Paris Hilton wears ugly sunglasses in two continents, apparently. The socialite is seen here in Australia. 23. Posing For Doug View Photo Or for the cameras that watch her every move. Say what you will about Paris Hilton, she works the celeb gossip media to her advantage. 24. Paris Gets Wet View Photo A frequent thing for her, we know. But in this case we actually mean literally, in the ocean. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 25. Awful Looking View Photo It’s hard to determine which aspect of Paris Hilton looks more ridiculous in this photo: her headband, her eyes or her lips. 26. Still Celebrating View Photo Paris Hilton turned 28 in February of 2009. In this picture, she’s spotted at her 4th or 5th birthday party. 27. Cesspool of Disease View Photo That’s pretty much Paris Hilton for you. Girl is not clean in the medical sense. Way too many dudes have been up in that business. 28. Wet BJ View Photo Paris Hilton looks to give boyfriend Doug Reinhardt an in-water blow job. At least that’s what we assume is happening here. Advertisement A message from our sponsor. 29. Paris Underwater View Photo Paris Hilton invited a photographer underwater with her during a scuba diving trip in Hawaii. Don’t ever let this socialite complain about her lack of privacy again. 30. A Familiar Position View Photo Paris Hilton is used to crawling on all fours and being on her hands and knees in general. Sometimes even on film. 31. Paris Hilton, Dog View Photo Paris Hilton cradles a small dog. We don’t believe this is Tinkerbell, her pooch at the center of a prank call death threat scandal. 32. Paris Hilton for Guess View Photo Does Paris Hilton make you wanna buy Guess clothing? No? What a shock! Advertisement A message from our sponsor. The End. Up Next: ” 33 Photos of Paris Hilton From When She Used To Be Famous .” We’ll be redirecting you shortly…
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Paris Hilton Fakes Orgasm on Stage, Creates Wave of Sex Tape Nostalgia
