We take a look at both the ‘actual’ and ‘bizarro’ Grammys (and try to pick some winners) in Bigger Than The Sound. By James Montgomery Adele Photo: Getty Images Last year, when the Arcade Fire shocked everybody (especially Dog the Bounty Hunter ) by winning Album of the Year at the Grammys, it set in motion a chain of events that culminated in one rather troubling realization: Perhaps everything has changed. I say troubling because, really, the Grammys have never been cool (and there is something like five decades of empirical evidence to back up that claim), and voters bestowing the night’s top award on an indie act — instead of Eminem, Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, each of whom were also nominated — was a hip, hip move. So it stood to reason that, if one of the stuffiest of award shows could get with the times, then perhaps everyone could. Perhaps the Arcade Fire’s AOTY win fractured the space-time continuum itself, sort of like on “Lost,” when Benjamin Linus turned that wheel and the island started skipping through time and there were actually two islands, one existing in current time and one that was stuck in the 1970s, and that old woman had a pendulum and Jack ended up detonating a hydrogen bomb with a rock or something (“Lost” definitely got confusing for a while there). What I am trying to say is that it is not entirely inconceivable that, post Arcade Fire, there now exist two Grammy Awards: the one where Led Zeppelin has zero wins (but Sheryl Crow has nine ) and the one where cool bands take home the biggest awards. You know, the actual Grammys versus the bizarro Grammys. It’s an insane theory, yes, and yet, it is also (sort of) backed up by this year’s Grammy nominations. In actuality — given she had one of the best-selling albums of the past decade and almost single-handedly saved the industry in 2011 — Adele is not only one of the night’s most-nominated artists, but she’ll probably end up walking away with the most golden gramophones, too. In fantasy, Bon Iver stuns the Dog the Bounty Hunters of the world and takes home three-quarters of the “Big Four” awards. In the grand cosmic scheme of things, I suppose either is probable. Shoot, at the very least, the theory makes the Grammys a lot more interesting … and impossible to predict. Still, I’m going to try my best. So here are my theoretical picks for the 54th Grammy Awards, where I’ve weighed the actual against the bizarro in a misguided attempt to predict just who will triumph in the night’s biggest categories. Hey, it’s better than just saying “Adele is gonna win everything.” Even though she probably will. It is just a theory, after all. Album of the Year
