After seven long years, Arrested Development is set to return. Netflix announced earlier this week that Season 4 will premiere May 26 at 12:01 a.m. The time is significant because all 15 episodes will be available at once! Better get your sleep now. Or even better … relive some of the best Arrested Development quotes from the first three seasons (2003-2006) on Fox below! If you aren’t familiar with the Bluths, go buy Seasons 1-3 now. Seriously, these Arrested Development quotes are hilarious: Tobias: [on painting himself to join the Blue Man Group] I’m afraid I just blue myself! Michael: Okay, you know what? Go buy yourself a tape recorder, and just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing. Michael: Can’t a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Buster: Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Michael: I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Michael: Really? When did that start? Tobias: Well, I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help. George Michael: And yeah, she was really looking forward to seeing me in my Uncle Sam outfit in the get-out-to-vote assembly tomorrow. Maeby: Wasn’t that supposed to be before the election? George Michael: Yeah, they had to postpone it when that foreign exchange student parked too close to the gym. Buster/Franklin: I don’t want no part of yo’ tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! Tobias: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over: an analyst and a therapist, the world’s first “analrapist.” Kitty: Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! Lucille: Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out? G.O.B.: She’s not that Mexican, Mom, she’s my Mexican. And she’s Colombian or something. Anyway, it’s over. Lindsay: I care deeply for nature. Michael: You’re wearing ostrich-skin boots. Lindsay: Well, I don’t care about ostriches. Michael: [on Steve Holt] Go talk to him. You’re his father. G.O.B.: Well, according to him … Michael: And a DNA test. G.O.B.: I hear the jury’s still out on science. G.O.B., on being a pageant judge: You can’t believe what it does for your sex life. Michael: I don’t want to hear it. George Sr.: All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn’t mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD. Maeby: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a “T” on it? Michael: That’s a cross. Maeby: Across from where? Michael: Mom, after all these years, God’s not going to take a call from you. Arrested Development Quotes: The Top 200 Lucille: I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. Michael: Why are you squeezing me with your body? Lucille: It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time. Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. Lucille: What are you doing home? Buster: Army had half a day. G.O.B., on Lucille getting her driver’s license “renewed”: She didn’t. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking ‘albino’ in the form. Lindsay, on her new outfit: I guess [Mom] wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing. Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you’re lying to me. Lucille: I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Lindsay: I hate the Wetlands. They’re stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane, Michael. Lindsay: Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Lucille: Really? Did nothing cancel? Lucille: It’s not fair to Buster. He’s a nervous wreck right now. He’s going into the Army, for God’s sake. Michael: You volunteered him. Lucille: I knew you were going to throw that in my face. Buster: Sister’s my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter, too? G.O.B.: Not tricks, Michael, illusions. A trick is something a whore does for money. Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks. Michael: Mom, it’s breakfast. Lucille: And a piece of toast. Buster: That’s what you do when life hands you a chance to be with someone special. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don’t let go no matter what your mom says. Lucille: Is this why you wanted to fight this thing? So you could run off with this great redwood of a whore? Buster: Mom signed me up for the army, just because the fat man dared her to. G.O.B.: I’m a failure. I can’t even fake the death of a stripper. Lucille: I don’t have the milk of mother’s kindness in me anymore. Michael: Yeah. That udder’s been dry for a while though, hasn’t it? Mrs. Featherbottom: Ok, who’d like a banger in the mouth? Oh…right, I forgot; here in the states you call it ‘a sausage’ in the mouth. G.O.B.: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn’t ready to hear. Michael: G.O.B., weren’t you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act? G.O.B.: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn’t ready to hear either. Lucille: Stop playing with Mother’s rape horn. Yes, I have a rape horn, Michael, because you took away my mace. Buster: Yeah, like anyone would want to “R” her. Lucille: What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Tobias: Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up! Ann “Egg” Veal: Teach me the ways of the secular flesh. Tobias: I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Michael: There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. Lucille: You’ve got three days. G.O.B.: Hey … if I can’t find a horny immigrant by then, I don’t deserve to stay here. Michael (to G.O.B.): Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.
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Arrested Development Quotes: Best of the Best!
