Jersey Shore Season 6 premiered last night on MTV. The gang has certainly come a long way since their initial hookups, pranks, fights and hot tub romps of 2009. With a sober Situation and a pregnant Snooki, it’s … different. Was it still a little bit nuts, and more importantly, fun? Let’s recap Jersey Shore , THG style, and find out! Snooki is engaged to Jionni LaValle and knocked up. Maybe you heard. Plus 12 . Mike went to rehab and has been sober for awhile. Maybe you heard. Plus 10 . A reality show has run its course when the stars are so big that you already know these things. Well, unless you’re the Kardashians, then you start making $h!t up. Minus 10 . JWoww and Roger Mathews , Ronnie and Sammi, Pauly and Vinny … the gang is totally wifing up before our eyes. It’s a magical thing, true romance. Plus 25 . Mike is serious with that filthy, dirty Paula (we mean that as a compliment), and Deena is “finally happy” with her boyfriend, Chris. Is there no one left to go insane? Minus 20 . Sitch, in an effort to apologize for his past misdeeds, cooked dinner. Snooks and Jenni were unmoved, at least in the early going. Not gonna cut it dawg. Minus 15 . Hey, at least he tried though. Plus 5 . It’s GTL tiiiiiiiiiime! Been too long. Plus 20 . It’s Deena crying over Chris time. Minus 10 . “Nicole not being able to tan at a tanning salon is like a fish looking at the sand.” – Pauly. Plus 5 for that awesome analogy and for his Tannest in the House title. CABS ARE HERE and off to Karma we go. Well, except for Snooki, who went on a date with Jionni instead to avoid the temptation to drink. At six months. Smart, but is her willpower that low? Minus 10 . The Situation, meanwhile, was slamming them back! By them we mean water and Red Bull. He’s holding up pretty well so far it looks like. Props dawg. Plus 30 . Sammi and Ronnie started arguing. It’s good to see some things never change. This time it was over … something about who ate what or when. Who cares. Minus 5 . Deena then bursts into tears because Vinny was talking to her BF Chris about getting some furniture and she thought they were talking about … who knows. Minus 20 . The Situation says “I spoke to my girl and she says that yo girl has … uh … her period.” Yet it sounds like he says herpes, intentionally or otherwise. Plus 20 . Pauly: “I don’t get down like that. What do we do?” Plus 10 . Rule #67 of the Swag Handbook, per Mike: “You cannot have sex with a girl that’s on her period, unless it’s your girlfriend. And unless it’s your girlfriend for a minute.” As such, Mother Nature c-ck blocked Pauly D. Plus 25 . Vinny joked that he and Jionni are Eskimo brothers (when two guys have sex with the same girl). Snooki was unamused. Plus 20 . She should also consider a paternity test. “I honestly just wanted to get a knife last night and cut Vinny’s throat.” – Snook. Plus 5 . Mike’s sobriety and Vin’s anxiety bring these two together like never before. It’s actually kind of sweet to see the guys bond over (dare we say it), mature conversations? Plus 30 . “I have a million girls that can do what you do.” – Ron to Sam. A million that can endure drunken rampages and epic arguments over nothing? Impressive, Ron. Minus 25 . JWoww appropriately coins the term Ronning. Plus 10 . Vocabulary lesson of the week: “Integrity means like shame. Like, ‘I got a lot of shame, I got a lot of integrity.'” – Deena. Holy cow this girl is not smart. Minus 20 . Other top Deena exchange: Deena (at the bar): It’s five o’clock somewhere .. . JWoww: It might actually be five o’clock . Plus 10 . Lastly, Snooki drops the bomb – she’s considering getting her own place for the summer – a tiny apartment next door – because she’s concerned about her pregnancy. Thank goodness for Lorenzo’s sake. Plus 15 . “This blows for me.” – Deena. Minus 10 . EPISODE TOTAL: +95! Jersey Shore … Entertaining / Hilarious Disgraceful / Stupid View Poll »
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Jersey Shore Season 6 Premiere Recap: One Last Time, We Go Hard
