It was Tristan Thompson’s birthday this week, but considering the way the Cleveland Cavs forward has alienated pretty much everyone in his life, we assume he celebrated in the company of a few strippers or his few teammates who aren’t too depressed to get off the couch because they play for the Cavs. Yes, Tristan turned 28 on Wednesday and Khloe Kardashian marked the occasion by throwing some glorious shade on Instagram. Khloe posted a list of personal reminders on her page the same day that Tristan blew out the candles while women with names like Shoshanna and Alizé cut the cake. It was the sort of meme that everyone’s Aunt Deborah posts on Facebook every day, but many fans feel there was a hidden meaning to Khloe’s list. In particular, the first and last items on the list caught a lot of people’s attention: “The past cannot be changed” and “What goes around, comes around.” If those nuggets of wisdom don’t sum up the lessons that Khloe learned from her time with Tristan, we don’t know what does. Compare that to this time last year, when Khloe went full-Hallmark all over Tristan’s ass in honor of his birthday. “To the happiest of birthdays, my love!” she wrote. “How special is this thing called life that we share together?! I am so blessed to be creating beautiful monumental memories with such a wonderful man! I hope this year brings you all that you dream of! You will forever be my always! I love you, baby!” It was either Shakespeare or Andre 3000 who said, “Forever? Forever, ever? For ever, ever?!” Anyway, there’s a pretty heavy cringe-factor on that post in any context, but in this case, is serves as a super sad reminder that Khloe was all-in on this relationship as recently as last year. Even after she learned that Tristan cheated while she was pregnant with his child, Khloe was still committed to making it work. It was only when Tristan was caught hooking up with Jordyn Woods that Khloe decided to finally pull the plug on this terminal relationship. Finding out your baby daddy is banging your little sister’s best friend will spur anyone to action. Thankfully, these days it seems that Khloe is well and truly done with Tristan. Of course, there’s one item on her list that has some fans concerned that she may flip-flop on that issue. Is “You only fail if you quit” a sign that Khloe’s not giving up on her relationship? For the sake of everyone involved, here’s hoping it’s not.
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Khloe Kardashian to Tristan Thompson: You Deserve to Have a Sh-tty Life!